If It Makes You Happy
by baileymae07
Summary: What pushed Happy to leave Charming in the first place? Why did he leave home and go to Tacoma? Bowie was one of the only people who knew the truth, and when she sees him sitting in the club house three years later, dark memories surface.
1. Chapter 1

"Where you been darling?" Bobby questioned as I got out of my car on a Friday night at TM, the usual party already in full swing.

"Work," I smiled at the man who was sitting on his bike smoking a joint, "We can't all be in an MC," all of a sudden a blond head popped up from between his legs in the dark. "Really?" I questioned laughing at the fact that he had stopped me while he was clearly busy. I shook my head and started walking towards the party while Bobby yelled something behind me but I didn't stop to hear what he was saying.

"Where the hell have you been?" Gemma asked the second my shoes hit the inside of the club house, yelling from the kitchen doorway.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I yelled back at her before walking behind the bar to get a beer. It always took too long to wait on a crow eater to get it, they were too busy flirting or sitting on the bar doing each others hair to actually do their job.

"Hey, before you see him.." Gemma started coming up beside me but I didn't hear anything but the banging of my heart like it was trying to escape out of a ten gallon drum. Eyes that you could of sworn were black met my blue ones and dread instantly filled my body as the worst memories of my life played behind my eyes. It was like a force of wills; us watching each other neither one of us blinking, but I could see the muscle in his cheek where he was grinding his back teeth, spinning a tooth pick in his mouth; knowing his reputation, and being sure that he only did that when he was really pissed sent goosebumps over my body, the Tacoma killer was pissed at me and it was very unsettling. Finally I blinked out of fear that my contacts would dry up and crack we had been starring so long; and when I shut my eyes I saw the memory of the back of him, walking away from me, leaving me behind.

"Did you hear me?" Gemma put a hand on my shoulder breaking me out of my trance, the music around me slowly seeping back into my brain.

"What?" I looked at her confused shaking my head finally looking away from Happy Lowman and over at the woman who had been the most influential over my life time.

"I wanted to tell you about him being here," she was staring straight at Happy keeping my nerves stirring, he didn't miss a thing and he would know we were talking about him. "But I see you've already noticed,"

"What is he doing here?"I sloshed back my beer, tasting the bitter liquid bubbling down my throat trying to look anywhere but over at him.

"Club shit,"

"Murder for hire?" I asked not being able to help myself I quickly looked back in the corner and his eyes were still on mine.

"Nah," she put her hands on her hips, "Some kind of shit with his Mom," I nodded my head at her as heavy arms rested around my shoulders and I instantly recognized the ticking of his oxygen machine.

"Piney," I smiled looking at the old man as Gemma walked back towards the kitchen.

"Hey Doll," he smiled back at me, "Donna is out at the fire, it's her first party since Opes been home, she's having a hard time, being around the club and all," I agreed with him and grabbed three beers before going back out the door of the club house feeling a set of eyes following my every move until the heat of the summer night hit my skin and the door closed behind me.

I found Donna sitting at the picnic table beside the wrestling ring all alone, a few beer bottles in front of her and when I got there too I swung my leg over the side of the seat and set another bottle in front of her keeping the other two for myself. "Hey stranger," I grinned at her, even though it was one of the last emotions I wanted to feel at the moment.

"Thanks," she lifted the bottle to her lips after she hit the lip of the bottle on the edge of the table the cap flying through the air.

"How are the kids?" I questioned her doing the same thing, she gave me that look everyone that knew me did when they spoke about their children to me.

"Good, on summer break right now, they are spending a lot of time at my Moms," she quickly looked away from me even though we could barely see each others faces in the dark the fire's around us giving us light. " I saw him," she added still acting like she was watching something down the lot.

"Yeah, me too," I took another swig of my beer.

"How long has it been?"

"Shit," I acted like I was thinking about it even though I probably could of told you the hours since it happened,"Three years,"

"Wow," She muttered finally looking back at me again.

"Bowie!" the seat shifted as weight got added to it and one of my best friends Victoria slammed down beside me, "Where the hell have you been?" I rolled my eyes at the question.

"If I get asked that one more time," the sound of glass sliding down the table brought a smirk to my face as a shot of brown liquid stopped in front of me. "It's about time a crow eater learns who to bring the drinks too," I joked with Vic.

"Kiss my ass," she smirked back tapping her glass against mine before we swallowed them down.

"Set it on the table and I will," I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand, the whiskey burning down my throat and settling in my stomach filling up the cold place his stare had left.

We had sat out at the picnic table so long that the bottle we had grabbed shortly after our first shot was empty and a new one was on the very bottom, Donna had left us an hour ago.

"You seen him yet?" she let out her word vomit that she'd been holding in all night.

"Yah," I answered knowing who she was asking about.

"And you didn't rip his throat out?" she questioned poring another shot for each of us.

"I didn't do anything but stare," I confessed, "It all came back, like I was there in the moment," Vic had been with me since we were both young, her dad owned the diner in town where Samcro used to regular, her dad and mine becoming close, growing up she was one of the only girls around after Dawn and Fawn moved in with their Mom.

"Ladies," Two guys sat down across the table from us, both of them with Tacoma patches on their cut. I didn't acknowledge them but Vic put a big smile on her face, and I felt her sit up straighter beside me, popping her boobs out further in her v neck crop top. "What your names?," they slurred, neither of the guys were attractive, both had ZZ Top beards and bandana's tied around their head and the arrogance that flew off their body instantly sobered me up.

"Vic," Victoria answered popping her hand out to both of the men before they both looked towards me.

"Bowie," I answered rolling my eyes and keeping my hands in.

"Bowie," one of the men smirked at me causing me to turn my mouth up in disgust, "Come on baby don't be nervous, we're all here for a good time,"

"She's not," his voice came from behind me, but it didn't jump me, it was like I had been waiting for it to meet my ears all night. Both of the guys at the table's eyes grew triple their size and they just about left a dust trail they left us so quickly. I didn't turn around towards the voice until I heard the sound of a chain walking away, I watched the back of his cut moving away, the light hitting his arms just right so his tattoos looked like they were glistening and the chain of his wallet jingled as he walked.

"He scares the shit out of everyone doesn't he?" Vic asked watching him walk away as well, "Everyone except you," But I didn't look over at my best friend I kept my eyes on the retreating club member remembering the last time I saw him leaving me, I could smell the room I had been in when he left the too clean smell causing my eyes to gain moisture, remembering how he looked at her, the first time I had ever seen him cry as I screamed at him to leave. I had meant to leave me alone, get out of my sight. He had taken it as something else, he left the room and kept going, as far as I had known he had remained gone for the last 3 years.

Now he was back in Charming, reminding everyone of what had gone down all those years ago.

* * *

Sons of Anarchy isn't mine! What do you think happened between them? Let me know what you think!

-Bailey


	2. Chapter 2

Usually I didn't mind waking up in a random spot in the club house after a party but knowing Happy was somewhere inside slowed me down a little and I instantly wished I hadn't gotten as drunk as I did so I could of made it home to escape the situation I had just woke up into. I sat up on the leather couch and looked around the room, glad that my eyes didn't meet a dark set that I had avoided for the last three years.

"Morning," Tig muttered from the other end of the couch a girl asleep at his feet. I only smiled at him pulling my knees up to my chest. "Did you see.."

"Don't even finish that sentence," I interrupted the dark haired man knowing what he was going to say. "I've been told,"

"It's crazy shit," he muttered rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, "I guess none of us really thought about what would happen if you two saw each other again,"

"Nothing is going to happen," I rolled my eyes getting up, "Coffee?" I questioned hearing him reply as I followed the smell to the kitchen where Gemma was standing fixing some sort of eggs.

"Look what the cat dragged in," she handed me a cup of black coffee and I went to reply but realized she wasn't speaking to me she was talking to someone behind me.

"Yeah," a deep voice sent shivers down my spine and a tattooed arm reached around me grabbing a cup off the counter.

"How's your Mom?" Gemma asked Happy as he sat down at the island, his black eyes coming into sight of mine, not breaking away and not blinking.

"Not much change," his voice was always gravely, but early in the morning his voice was always deeper, always angrier. He hated mornings, but he barely slept, I had learned that the three years we were together.

"She's back in Bakersfield, you should go see her," he started spinning the coffee on the counter, and I wasn't sure if he was talking to Gemma or me.

"Katie and I never really were close," Gemma said back to him before turning her attention to me. "You working today?" she questioned.

"Later," I took a sip of the coffee, "If Vic's ass ever gets up," I tried to use some emotion as I spoke to the woman but him being in there didn't allow it.

"Good, I need my hair done," she pointed to the pony tail on the top of her head and I rolled my eyes, the thought of doing Gemma's hair was just about as exciting as sitting in the room with Happy the rest of the day, she was a picky bitch.

"I rather die," I tried to joke picking up another cup on the counter and leaving the kitchen towards the couch that I had been on earlier, one of my favorite people still sitting there.

"Thanks darling," Tig smiled taking the coffee out of my hand while I sat back down. "How did that go?" he questioned nodding his head towards the kitchen door where I could still see Happy sitting, starring at his cup of coffee not speaking.

"Like everyone thinks it will," I took another sip.

"Want me to beat his ass?" Tig only half joked.

"Nah, I'm kind of fond of you alive," I answered as Vic came down the hall in an oversized t-shirt that had been on Juice yesterday, when my best friend had become a crow eater the day she turned 18 I wasn't shocked, she had always been a little...sexually active, so when she started staying the nights at the parties, sleeping with different members it just sort of fit in our life. I was on a different path back then, and I just about ended up in the same spot as her after shit went down. Happy and I had gotten together literally the night of my 18th birthday, he had always sort of been a thought in my mind, I had known him most of my life, he had always been a dark dangerous cloud in the shadows, and I had eaten it up with a spoon for three years all through cosmetology school and into my early twenties and when he left I wanted to throw myself into anything that would keep my mind occupied, even if it was a different bed every night.

Vic slammed down on the couch between Tig and I stepping over the girl that was still asleep on the floor, grabbing my cup and chugging back my coffee before trying to hand it back, smirking at Juice who was watching her from the bar.

"No," I pushed her arm back, "You keep it," I hated to think about where her mouth had been last night.

"What a hateful bitch," she smirked but kept the coffee anyways.

"Two weekends in a row with Juice?" I questioned her not being able to keep the smirk off my face, "That's got to be a record,"

"He's a good lay," she shrugged her shoulders, "and he's cute," she smiled over at the Mohawked club member.

"I'll take your word for it,"

"I'll share," she answered back before the smile fell from her face and she was watching the opening to the kitchen. "I forgot about him being here,"

"Yeah, I didn't," I told her.

"Maybe if you talk to him," I quickly stood up putting my hands on my hips blocking her sight of him. Anger began flowing through my veins.

"And say what?" I snapped and Tig stood up as well standing in between us and drawing attention to the both of us, It wouldn't be the first time we had got in a fight that ended in fists if we progressed much further, we were hot headed girls.

"I don't know!" she said through gritted teeth, "Maybe hey why did you leave me in the hospital?" she whispered keeping her eyes locked on me. "You both have one thing in common,"

"Hey not here," Tig interrupted again.

"What would that be?" I regretted asking it the moment it slipped out of my mouth.

"A daughter buried up on the hill," I turned away from her not giving her the satisfaction of seeing how her words effected me. I quickly walked towards the bathroom trying to keep my breathing under control before slamming the door behind me and I slid down the door pulling my knees up to my chin and resting my head against them.

* * *

"I'm sorry about earlier," Vic came into the front door of the shop holding her hands up in surrender. "I shouldn't of said that,"

Gemma was the only one in my shop when she came in, Saturday was always slow in the afternoon.

"No you shouldn't have," Gemma snapped and we both looked at her confused, she hadn't been anywhere around us when it happened, "Tig," she answered us before we could even ask the question.

Vic came up to me holding her hands out for a hug and I couldn't stop myself from giving her one back holding my arms out straight so I didn't touch her clothes with the my bleach gloves.

"Bastard should of never came back, got us all riled up," Gemma wiggled in her chair before crossing her legs.

"He's samcro," I told both of them, "it was inevitable that he would come back,"

"He should of never left," Gemma argued back at me, "Leaving you with her, after she was born like that.."

"Stop," I yelled stopping Gemma from saying anything else, I saw her blue face in my mind, seeing him look at her; hearing myself yell at him to leave.

"Sorry," she muttered and Vic sat down at the chair beside Gem. "He's not Samcro," Gemma couldn't contain herself. "He left,"

"Because I told him too," I countered questioning myself as to why I was defending him.

"You told him to leave the room not the state!"

"Its been three years, why are we discussing this?" I huffed aggravated with the whole conversation. I didn't wait for an answer I did what I always did, charged towards the back supply room trying to stop the voices in my head replaying that day over in my mind like it did every morning and every night.

The first thing I always remembered was the blood, I was barely 7 months pregnant when I started bleeding standing in the middle of the club house, calling for Happy not knowing what else to do. Next was the dark skinned doctor telling me they couldn't find a heartbeat, trying her best to tell me that we had lost her. They had induced me after that, the whole time I was crying, watching his dark eyes as he sat in a chair beside me holding my hand, but never showing any emotion. It took 6 hours to finally be fully dilated, and an hour of pushing to get her out. The moment she came into the world the only noise in the room were my cries of pain, but it wasn't the pain of child birth it was the pain in my heart, knowing I was going through all of this for no reason at all, wanting my baby girl to be alive, hoping the Dr had made a mistake. I couldn't look at her, so I found the one set of eyes that had brought fear in most people but kept me steady in times like these and seeing tears run out of his beautiful black eyes, realizing what had just happened, watching him cry for his daughter, who had died for no reason that a doctor could provide other than I was small and young. I lost it after that, seeing the nurse carry her away, watching him follow her with his eyes. I started screaming at him to get away from me, to leave me alone. I couldn't take knowing he felt exactly like I had on the inside, knowing I caused both of our pain. I watched him leave the room, thinking he'd be in later but once I cried till I thought I would die from dehydration and then cried a few hours longer he still didn't come back, and he never did.

Not until yesterday.

* * *

Thanks to everyone that reviewed! you are my favorites!

Also I don't own anything Sons of Anarchy

Do you think this is a good idea for a story? Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

One month later

I was proud of myself, I had avoided running into a man for a month, I knew he was around, coming and going in between Tacoma and Charming; everyone liked to tell me when he was back in town and it seemed to be every few weeks. But the inevitable was bound to happen, a death pushed us all together, it always did.

Donna had been gunned down, and samcro and everyone involved in their small knit circle of family was now standing around a hole dug for the mother on the hottest day in the summer. Opie stood strong and tall in front of me, even though you could feel his heart breaking. His kids were sitting in chairs beside him, quiet sobs leaking from them every few minutes kept most of us weepy eyed. Vic was standing on one side of me, trying to keep from crying, she always had some sort of argument going on with Donna, claiming she was stuck up and was trying to change Opie, but she was one of the people taking her death the worst. A warm breeze blew the bottom of my dress causing it to tickle the back of my thigh as I kept my face forward staring at the back of Opie's neck. I couldn't look to the left, a pair of Black eyes were burning a hole in my cheek and I couldn't look to the right her headstone was glistening in the sunlight almost teasing me. A funeral hadn't effected me since they put her in the ground, alone; neither of her parents had been there for her, I was on a bender two towns over and Happy was already up in Tacoma, requesting a transfer out of Charming. Now both of us were standing here, not even a mile from where she laid under the ground, standing in the same crowd of people at Donna's funeral.

"What is he doing?" Vic hissed over at me as Jax walked closer looking like he had slept under a bridge last night and I watched Tara walk up to him holding his cut. Happy wasn't the only person who had blown back into town, Tara had been back for less than a month and her and Jax had already stuck to each other like a magnet. I quickly looked two spots over to where Wendy was holding Abel, watching Jax and Tara in the distance.

"Drama even at a funeral," Vic muttered again, as Tara walked back towards the service and Jax took off in the direction of the headstones. Tara caught my attention and nodded her head in the direction of the retreating blonde and I gave her a confused look and she did it again.

"shit," I hissed before taking off towards Jax, feeling more than Happy's eyes following me.

"What are you doing?" I asked Jax when I caught up to him, he was sitting on JT's head stone, smoking a cigarette. He slid over and made room for me beside him, in front of us was my Dad's head stone, a reaper pin stuck into the hard marble.

"Talking to the smartest guys we know,"

"They must not be very smart, they're dead," I tried to keep it light hearted but it was hard given the place we were sitting talking.

"I thought I was going to lose Abel," he began looking over at me, "When that happened to you, I didn't get it, you didn't know her," he pushed back his hair with both hands, "But now I know that it didn't matter if you knew her for thirty seconds, it was unconditional love," I had never heard Jax speak this way in my whole life, he had never talked about her when it happened, he held me while I cried, he drank with me when I drank, but he never said anything.

"I knew her for 7 months," I choked trying to keep myself together, "But I'll love her for the rest of my life," he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I rested my head against him. "What happens now?" I asked looking up at him.

"We find who killed Donna," he said truthfully. "We've got to be there for Opie," I nodded my head agreeing with him. The three of us had always been close, I was my father's only child but somehow I was born with two older brothers that would of killed anyone for me.

"Where does Happy fall into this?" I didn't know why I asked I knew the answer, Happy would do what he wanted to and what the club asked.

"I stopped him from killing a 17 year old yesterday," he stopped like he was questioning giving me that kind of information before he shook his head and continued on,"He's gone Nomad, going to be around a lot more," my heart sunk but I didn't get the chance to say anything else as Piney wheezed up beside us, handing Jax a leather bound stack of papers.

"It's time for a change," he didn't say anything else just came walking away.

"What was that about?" I asked him watching the old man leave.

"I've got something I want you to read," he handed the papers over to me, "Our little secret," he kept his hands on the papers while I held them, I quickly slipped it into my bag as people started leaving the service.

Jax hopped down off the gravestone, pulling my hand up and kissing it. "I love you," he didn't look happy as he said it before walking off towards his bike.

People said goodbye to me as they walked passed where I was still sitting on the stone, staring at my father's grave. He was one of the founding members who had died on the wrong side of a bullet when I was 17, leaving me vengeful and more than angry, I had already been motherless, she had died of an overdose before I could walk. That had been part of the reason why I was drawn to Happy all those years ago, he was just as angry as I was, he didn't look at me crazy when my ass bounced off the wall; for months I drank until I would pass out and he would always be the one up watching me, keeping an eye on me but never telling me to stop, never asking what I was doing.

After the crowd died down I looked towards the parking lot to see one bike remaining and nerves started running through my veins, what was he doing here? I turned back towards Donna's new grave and he wasn't there either, I continued searching for him and couldn't help the emotion that flew out of my body when I saw where he was standing, his mouth opening like he was speaking to someone but he was alone. I moved in auto pilot my brain screaming at my body to stop moving but it wouldn't, it was like a ticking time bomb that wouldn't stop until I was there, in front of him. I was a few feet behind him when I finally stopped moving.

"What are you doing here?" my word vomit started and he turned towards me, that muscle in his cheek grinding while he listened to my words, as I snapped at him.

"Visiting my daughter," he growled at him, his hands clenching at his sides, forming fists before he released them again.

"A little too late don't you think?" I shouldn't be doing this, using her against him. I was never that kind of girl, I shouldn't care what he does at all, but I always found myself wondering where he was and what he was doing even after 3 years.

"You don't know shit," he moved closer towards me, his face squinting together in anger. Goosebumps formed on my skin and I would like to think it was the wind moving my dress but I knew it was how he moved, like a lion stalking his prey.

"Hap," I warned him I didn't back up knowing that was what he wanted me to do, "Why are you here? Why did you come back?"

"Because this is where I belong," he turned his head to look at her stone quickly before back at me. "Charming is my home," it was one of the first times I had seen him sentimental about anything. Something caught my eyes behind him and I finally moved going past him and towards the headstone. A few flowers were there, some of them close to passing and some new ones, ones I hadn't put there.

"You've been coming here?" I knew it had to be him, no one came out to visit her anymore, no one but me.

"She was mine too," he came up beside me, kissing two of his fingers and pressing it against the dark marble. "Don't forget that," he warned before leaving. I didn't watch what direction he went in but I heard a bike rev up and leave before I dropped down to my knees to fix the flowers he apparently had been leaving.

"Sorry baby girl," I muttered, I used to think I was crazy for talking to her but now I found it almost calming. "It might be three years too late, and we might have been fighting but at least both of us were here," I read the words that were carved like I always did.

Harper Katie Lowman

March 7th 2011

She had a matching SAMCRO pin stuck in out of respect for Happy, I didn't find that out until long after it was already done, mostly because I didn't come out to see her until weeks after she was buried.

"I don't know what to do Harper, he's back after all these years, and the anger I had for him, that part of me I was sure had left came right back, I want to hurt him like he hurt me," I picked up the dead flowers moving them out of the way to arrange the new ones, "But I don't think either of us win in this situation," I touched the headstone that was heating up in the sunlight, burning the soft skin on the inside of my hand. "Give Grandpa a kiss for me," I couldn't help the tears running down my face as I stood back up looking at the flowers her father had left for her.

"I love you more than anything else," I said to the air before turning and leaving.

* * *

I don't own anything SAMCRO

Let me know what you think! Are you liking it so far?

Also there is a URL to the Polyvore i have been making for this story in my Profile. I usually like to look at them when i read stories so i thought I'd make one too!


	4. Chapter 4

"You going to Bobby's coming home party?" Vic asked me while we were closing up shop a few weeks after Donna's funeral. Happy was MIA again off to Tacoma or wherever it was that he went.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I finished cleaning my station while she swept the floor. We had bought the shop together two years ago and we stayed in pretty good business, since we were the only shop besides Floyd's and he didn't really do woman's hair well. We had a few other girls that worked for us but Vic and I usually opened and closed letting them go after we had our lunches unless they had appointments.

"Who is that?" Vic stopped to look out the window seeing Hale and his brother standing outside talking to some man in too fancy of a suit for Charming.

"Whoever he is he's lost," I laughed telling her and the rumble of bikes could be heard coming down the street. The club rode past in the exact same order they always did and a blue set of eyes made contact with mine and he smile.

"What happened with you and Jax at the funeral?" Vic asked, I knew she had been wanting to over the last few days but didn't have the balls.

"Nothing, we talked about how Opie is going to handle this," I only half lied, we hadn't really talked about much of anything. The guy in the suit walked across the street towards us and nodded his head through the window at us before going into the shop next door.

"That the guy who bought Sherman's?" Vic questioned dropping the funeral questions for now, pushing her face so close to the glass to try and see next door she was leaving makeup stains on the window.

"Guess so," I shrugged my shoulders before going back to minding my own business.

"He doesn't belong here," she added before picking the broom back up, "Shit is getting crazy around here," she added.

"How?"

"Donna's death, Bobby in jail, the ATF filling up the police station, it has to be bad to drag Happy back right?"

"He's here for Katie," I reminded her. A lighter rumble than earlier was heard and Opie went flying through going the opposite way of the club.

"He hasn't seen his kids yet," Vic was the queen of gossip, mostly because of the dude she couldn't seem to keep her hands off lately, he was loose liped about the shit he could talk about.

"He'll snap out of it," I sounded like I was trying to assure myself as well as her. "He just needs time,"

* * *

I pulled up into a drive way I hadn't parked in in three years, breathing a sigh of relief that a bike wasn't there. Katie's light green house had always had beautiful curb appeal but it looked like she had let the flowers go lately, and the grass was a little longer than it should have been; which was odd for her, when I had been close with her we used to spend hours outside taking care of the flowers and pulling weeds.

"I was wondering when you'd come to see me," I saw Katie sitting on the screened in front porch, a glass of lemonade sitting in front of her. Her voice instantly put me at peace, I hadn't realized how much I missed her until her voice hit my ears. "Of course I thought it would be a few weeks not a few years,"

"Sorry about that," I said walking onto the porch and taking off my sunglasses, putting them on top of my head.

"Sit baby girl," she kicked out a wicker chair on the other side of the table, I watched her pick up the half played game of solitaire she had in front of her while I sat down.

"Don't stop on my account," I joked with her.

"I was losing anyways," listening to how she talked you knew exactly where Happy got it from, just looking at her you wouldn't suspect that she was a tough ass woman, she had light green trousers on and a white t-shirt, no shoes on exposing her light pink toe nail polish,her body had thinned out since I had seen her last and her blonde hair definitely had thinned, but she was beautiful, no matter how sickly she was. Her skin was the lightest white, almost see through, it always had been and she had a sprinkle of freckles across her nose that kept her looking much younger than she was, but her eyes gave away who she really was. Happy was darker skin like his father who had been some kind of Latino, she couldn't swear who he was but she didn't care , she loved her son and didn't need a man to help raise him. But her and Happy's eyes were the same, almost black and strong, quickly telling their emotions rather they wanted you to know about it at all. Happy's anger came from her, she flipped like the switch of a light, one moment she was having a friendly conversation and the next she had her hands around your throat choking the life out of you.

Gemma was mostly bark, but Katie Lowman was all bite.

"Why'd you come darken my doorway baby," she smirked at me, crossing her legs."Lemonade?" she questioned pointing at the pitcher and the empty glasses on the tray beside it.

"Expecting company?" I asked her.

"Always baby, I live in the ghetto," she joked. She poured me some and I sat there running my finger around the rim of the glass looking out at the street, hearing the bouncing of a basketball in the distance.

"I hope you didn't come here for the lemonade, you passed a few stores that sell it on the way," she kept her dark eyes beating onto me.

"No, I didn't," I raised my shoulders at her, "But I don't know why I am here either," there was no reason to beat around the bush with her, she always saw right through me.

"My god I forgot how beautiful you are," she reached her cold hand out and rested it on top of mine, "No wonder," she muttered before removing her hands and picking up her glass.

"No wonder what?" I questioned her watching her swat a fly away from her.

"My sons an idiot Bow," she began and bit her bottom lip like she was trying to stop herself from speaking. Something she didn't do much.

"We both know that," I agreed with her wondering what she wasn't say.

"Shit," she tapped her fingers against the table, "Consider this the confessions of a dying woman, he should of never left that day, He's not back here for me sweet girl, he's tried to bury that dick of his in every warm hole he could find," I couldn't help but smile at the words coming out of the woman's mouth, she proved to me every time she spoke that you couldn't judge a book by it's cover, "He's fucked a path from here to Tacoma trying to get back to the man he was before you, but once a roaming man has a loving place to rest his head he can't go back to roaming."

"He's going Nomad to be close to you," I tried to assure her.

"Not me baby," she clapped her hands together killing a mosquito, "I'm not a fool to who my son is, I know who he is, what he's done and what he's capable of doing. I carried him inside me for 42 weeks, the bastard wouldn't come out, then he drank me dry for a year and a half before getting off my tit. When I found out that I was having a son I was pissed, until I had him and it's true what they say about Mothers and Sons, I gave birth to the love of my life, and I stand behind everything he's ever done, except leaving you that day. I see the world the way he does, all of the darkness in it, and when I look at you I see the light, and I know he does too,"

"I don't think he see's much when he looks at me," I tried to tell the woman.

"Then forget about what he sees baby, what do you see when you look at him?" I didn't need to think about the question long.

"Her,"

She reached out and grabbed my hand again surprising me, two acts of affection in twenty minutes was a record for her, "That is something you both are going to have to live with, but you can't let it control what you two had, what you could have,"

"What could we have Kate?" I narrowed my eyes at her, "I don't see what you see, I see death and jail when I think about a future with him,"

"That's who he is Bowie, that is the baggage he comes with. I don't have much longer on this earth and he's going to need someone to remind him to wash his damn underwear," we both laughed breaking up the heavy conversation we were having.

"You come back next weekend, help me in the yard?" she spit out quickly before the sound of a bike came into ear shot, she always heard him before anyone else.

"Yeah," I agreed going over to her and kissing her cheek, wanting to get out of there before Happy could say anything to me.

"Bye Bowie, and think about what I said,I love you sweet girl" Happy pulled up beside my car staring up at us keeping the engine on.

"I love you too," I went out towards my car and he cut the engine when I got close. Once again he didn't speak just kept his head moving with me as I walked and I knew his dark eyes were giving me a glare behind his sunglasses.

* * *

"Look at those sluts," Vic snapped nodding in the direction of some Cara Cara girls sitting beside me with a plate of food.

"You know that saying about the pot and kettle?" I smirked at her while Juice rubbed up against a curvy blonde.

"Fuck off," she smirked back but a flash of sadness read across her face before she masked it. "Luann's porn girls, can't you smell the pussy in the air?" she snapped.

"I didn't know there was a beef between the Crow eaters and Cara Cara," I grabbed some chips off her plate.

"You never asked," she threw back a shot of some clear liquid as the blonde ran her hands down Juice's chest.

"You catching feelings for him?" I could hear her teeth grinding as she shot invisible bullets at the girl.

"Nah," she turned around on the bench so her back was against the table and she couldn't see Juice anymore.

"Lies," I slapped her arm.

Both of our attentions were drawn away from the riveting conversation we were having as a BMW pulled up and the club circled.

"Suit guy," Vic said as the man that was talking to Hale earlier got out of the car followed by some of his little crownies and we circled in closer to hear the conversation. Whoever the guy was he had balls, trying to order the club to stop selling to Mexicans and Blacks before Tig pulled a gun on him.

"You going to shoot me in front of all of these people Mr. Trager?" He was trying to show that he knew exactly who they were and that he had been doing his research on them. A shaved head stepped in front of me as Clay moved in on the man. The back of Happy's cut blocked my eye sight and I moved a step around him and one forward so I could keep seeing what was going on, both of us side by side. My moving seemed to catch the man in the suit and his left hand man's attention.

"Bowie," the suit smiled at me, "We just opened a shop next to yours," the other man looked me up and down in a creepy way and the way Happy's body stiffened up beside me I guessed that it wasn't in my imagination. "Hope we didn't make to much..noise,"

"It's a shame," the man that had looked me up and down spoke, "Already been tainted by...a half breed," he shot his eyes over to Happy and anger flooded me. Who the hell was this guy? I started to move forward to give him a piece of my mind but I was stopped by hands grabbing onto the belt loop of my jeans keeping me back and I turned to see Hap's dark eyes watching me, not the scene in front of us.

Clay grabbed there attention back before the suit rested a box at Clay's feet smirking before they both started towards the car.

"I'll be seeing you around Bowie," the creeper said to me walking backwards bumping into Gemma. "Sorry Ma'am," he smiled at her and they were both in the car backing out towards the street before Happy let go of my jeans and started following the car out of the lot along with Juice.

"What was that?" Vic questioned coming up beside me watching Juice and Hap as well.

"Not sure," I told her but I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

The crowd didn't seem to think the interaction had been a big deal and the party along with the music started back up again.

"You tell me if he says anything else to you," A gruff voice ordered from behind me turning me around towards him.

"I don't need you to protect me Hap," I snapped at him before going towards the picnic table Vic had gone too.

* * *

I was more than a little lit when I called her asking for a ride, but I needed to get out of there. I understood what Vic had been saying about the Cara Cara girls as one started dancing in front of Happy before sitting on his lap reaching for his jeans right there in the middle of the party.

"Come get me?" I questioned the woman on the other line.

"Yeah, I'll come get you, I'm just leaving Jax's," Gemma assured me before hanging up. I waited at the end of the lot's drive way with a half empty bottle in my hand, letting the cool air blow against my warm face, my ears were still humming from how loud the music was at the party. Vic had abandoned me a few hours ago, claiming she was tired but I knew she was hurt that Juice had gone off with the Cara Cara girl and left her sitting at the picnic table with out even looking in her direction.

Gemma just stopped in the street when she got there.

"Thanks," I muttered before getting in the car.

"You okay?" she questioned looking over at me quickly before pulling off again.

"Fine," I rested my head back against the head rest before tipping back the bottle of whiskey I had started at the party and took a swig.

"Seems it," she mentioned before shaking her head. We rode in silence for a ways before honking was heard behind us and Gemma reached for her purse down by my feet.

"HELP!" a woman yelled behind us. "HELP MY BABY IS CHOKING," a woman with short blonde hair yelled frantically before Gemma got out of the car.

"Stay here," she ordered leaving her door wide open.

"Told you I'd be seeing you again," the creeper from earlier leaned into the door on Gemma's side. I tried to get out but the alcohol from the party was messing with me and the panic mixing with it didn't help my body move any faster is only caused the feeling of vomit to rise in my throat.

"Hey, Hey, it's okay baby," he grabbed the back of my head and slammed it onto the dash board before everything went dark.

* * *

I've gotten some great reviews so far! Let me know what you think!

We all know Zobelle and Weston are bad news! What do you think is going to happen next?

I don't own anything you recognize.


	5. Chapter 5

"There she is," I came too with my hands cuffed to a fence in front of me, my body pushed up against it.

"Gem?" I yelled to the woman I could see on the other side of the fence.

"You're going to watch," a masked man stepped up behind me, but I recognized his voice it was the creeper who knocked me out. "Tell your brothers," he said sarcastically moving in closer to my ears, "To stop selling to color," Two guys moved to Gemma as she started waking up, "Or we'll find you, and do this to you too,"

"Gem," I scream over to her as she started begging them to leave her alone. I cried fighting to get off the fence feeling the cuffs cut into my skin as they lifted her off the ground getting a hold of her jeans and ripping them off.

"You're going to watch," he pushed my face against the fence, and I felt the chain imprint form to my face, "You're going to remember,"

"Fuck you!"kicking back and feeling my leg connect with some kind of body part. "Leave her alone!" I yelled but they didn't, Gemma's screams echoed in my brain, sobering me up and my eyes shut without my permission.

"WATCH," he yelled pulling my ponytail and slamming my face against the chain link again, clearly I had pissed him off. But my eyes still wouldn't open as I heard the guys moan out , and the man leaned in close behind me breathing in my ear, I slammed my head back feeling it rattle my brain as I slammed my head together and I heard a crack of a nose.

"Damn it," the man snapped grabbing my hips and turning me around with a loud pop from my shoulder as he pulled it out of socket. He pulled back his fist and hit it against my face, but the alcohol from earlier just caused a small tingle like when your foot had fallen asleep, and I idiotically laughed.

"That all you've got?" I growled at the man, my inner self yelling that I probably shouldn't be egging him on while I was cuffed to a fence and Gemma was being raped but my anger always was too strong to be smart.

"It was going to be you," he ran a too soft hand down my cheek. "But I think there is hope for you, you can be saved,"

Gemma was still screaming behind me and I tried to turn back towards her but he grabbed my face pulling back to punch me again. "Don't prove me wrong," he brought a punch to my ribs. "I hate to do this to you...but I need to prove my point. They can't keep you safe," he punched me again and my head started ringing.

"Let her go!"Gemma's screams got more broken up as one of the men began grunting louder. I fought to turn again, feeling my shoulders cry out in pain, but he just grabbed me again turning me around and slamming me against the fence.

I heard my nose break before I felt it, liquid began pouring out and the bits that got in my mouth confirmed that it was blood.

"Just go baby," he muttered breathing heavily beside my ear. "Just pass out," he hit me a few more times, not adding any more pain, but my vision started to go black before another hit landed to my chest causing my eyes to open, my body was fighting against itself.

"Go to hell," I snapped spitting blood in his face, kicking him in the crotch. "Nazi bastard,"

"That's it Bowie," he cooed at me, "That was your final chance,and remember, that mixed breed can't keep you safe," he said before the last hit I remember landed and darkness met me for the second time that day.

* * *

I woke up this time to hear Gemma yelling to Unser and a few gun shots.

"Holy shit," the older cop yelled coming in and seeing both of us. "What happened?" I thought it was pretty clear what had happened to her she was bare naked wrapped in a shitty blanket her clothes in a pile beside her.

"Get us out of here Wayne," she tried to sound strong but her voice cracked as she spoke.

"I'm going to take her out, you gonna be okay?" Unser asked me. I was no longer chained to the fence I was laying on the cold concrete floor with a small pool of blood probably from my nose beside me and an ache in my shoulder and face.

"I can walk," I told him pulling myself up by the fence feeling my body protest.

"No stay here," Wayne tried to stop me when I hissed in pain.

"I'm fine," I snapped, my legs were all good, and I stood up as straight as I could and walked behind the two, Gemma had her weight leaned on Unser and they were limping towards the car.

"I'll take her car home," I tried to tell Unser seeing it was parked outside of the building we were leaving.

"No Bowie, you need to get patched up," Unser told me.

"I'm fine," I hissed, I didn't mean to sound so hateful at him but I had more anger running through my body then I knew what to do with watching the one woman who had loved me my whole life hobble out of a building she was just raped in while I stood back and watched. I ignored the request of the cop and walked towards Gemma's Cadillac.

"Bow, please," Gemma lifelessly questioned me standing by the passenger door of Unser's cop car, "I need you with me," the mother looked desperately at me, no emotion in her eyes, she was completely defeated.

"Fine," I shook my head regretting it instantly as the taste of blood ran down the back of my throat.

"I can't fix you in my living room," Tara was arguing with Gemma who had now come to her senses.

"We can't go to the hospital, they'll report it," I would of rolled my eyes if they hadn't ached from the hang over I was wearing and the bruises from the broken nose.

I didn't want to go to the hospital either but I wasn't the one who had been gang raped last night, I stood up quickly and made my way towards Tara's bathroom. I had spent time here with her as a teenager, she and I had been close even though our age difference, her dad was always at the bar so Jax, Ope and I were usually over there hiding from our parents. The bathroom smelled stale from what I assumed was the lack of inhabitants, Tara had been staying at Jax's since Donna's funeral as far as I had heard. She had the old 70s lights that cast a yellow glow over everything inside and I was shocked to see what I looked like in the mirror. The middle of my forehead was bruised almost in a chain link pattern and blood was crusted under my nose leaving trails down over my mouth and chin. The white shirt I was wearing looked like I had been having a wet t-shirt contest only with blood. But the worst part about it was the eyes that were staring at me, it was the Bowie I thought I had locked up a long time ago, the one that ran wild after she lost her daughter and boyfriend in the same day. The only emotion that flared in mine was anger staring back at the girl I barely recognized.

"Bitch," I muttered not thinking just acting as my hand collided with the toothpaste covered mirror, with a pop from my shoulder; cooling my veins as the sound of shattering glass hit the floor and filled up the sink in front of me. A sick smirk spread across my face, a bang was heard on the bathroom door before Unser flew it open.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, looking at the glass all around me. "Feeling better?"

I didn't say anything to the older man just walked out into the hall closet where I knew the broom was always kept.

"Wanna talk about it?" Tara's voice jumped me coming up behind me once I had all the glass cleaned up. "Sorry," she muttered.

"No, I don't want to," I told her sitting down on the closed toilet, hissing at the pain in my shoulder from where he had turned me around but left my hands chained up.

"What happened to her?" Tara questioned.

"What do you think?" I didn't mean to be shitty but that was just how it came out.

"You too?" she looked down at my dirt covered jeans small blood spots were all over it, I wasn't sure if it was from my beating last night or the mirror I had a disagreement with.

"Nah, just got my ass beat,"

"We are going to the hospital, going to use Abel as a cover,"

"I don't need one," I tried to tell her again.

"That shoulder," she leaned some weight on it and I could of screamed, "Is dislocated," she poked me under my boob "and I can tell by the way you are sitting, and walking that a rib is broken," I hissed as she made contact.

"Sorry about your mirror," I didn't know what else to say to her, I knew she was right and the pile of glass caught my eye.

"It's okay, one less to clean,"

* * *

Tara had wrapped up my ribs and popped my shoulder back into place before cleaning the cuts on my face and nose.

"I told them you were in a car accident," Unser told us coming into the exam room we were in. I was sitting in the corner a blue sling holding my shoulder in place.

"What?" Gemma snapped at the cop, her feet were up in the stirrups and Tara was sitting between her legs but she still would cuss out Unser if needed.

"How else was I going to explain how you both look?" He sat down in the seat behind me.

"I don't want to see them," Gemma told him.

"They are all here," he said barely above a whisper.

"Great," I muttered assuming that Happy was one of those bodies out in the waiting room, the queen of their club was down and out.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I quickly looked at it to see that Vic had sent me a text, I had called her for a ride once Tara had finished patching me up. She was sitting in the waiting room waiting on me, I quickly sent her a text that I was on the way out and stood up to say my goodbyes.

"We can't tell them," Gemma said to me one more time, she had been repeating it to me all morning.

I felt my bottom lip tremble as I thought about my next words to the battered woman, one of the people who had protected me most of my life and I couldn't do anything to help her.

"I'm sorry," I sucked back my tears sending a shot of pain through my broken nose.

"There was nothing you could do baby," she reached out with her bruised wrists, rubbing her hands over my matching ones. "I heard you fighting to get to me, I love you," she squeezed my hand before I walked out not knowing what else to say to her.

"Holy shit," Vic moved on me faster than the large leather bound guys around her, she said something else to me but I got lost in the black eyes glaring into mine from the front of the pack of SAMCRO.

"What happened?" Clay questioned, he had heard from Unser but he wanted to hear from me too.

"Car accident," I told the president but didn't take my eyes off Happy, I was freely watching him this time, I didn't even try to hide it. "Gemma will be out in a little bit,"

"You ready to go?" Vic asked when we all were standing in silence.

"Let's go," I turned my attention away from Happy and started following Vic to the elevator.

"Bowie," I stopped dead in my tracks as a deep all to familiar voice said my name. I quickly turned towards the man I had been so in love with for years and watched him grind his back teeth for a moment before he started talking again, "Let me take you home," he moved closer.

"Vic is here to get me," I looked behind me to see her standing beside the elevator waiting on me.

"I don't care, you're coming with me, I don't want you alone," he looked my bruised body up and down.

"I'm going with Vic," I told him turning back towards her and walking away from him,hearing the sound of something hard hitting the wall before getting into the elevators the doors shutting as I stared straight at the man who was holding a bloody hand.

* * *

People have been Pming me asking who Bowie looked like and the answer is Megan Fox incase you were wondering. Let me know what you think, I've got a big picture plan in mind here but I also could be swayed so let me know what you think.

Is there hope for Happy and Bowie or are those scars too deep? What kind of guy is Happy in a relationship? Can he put what the club wants in front of the woman that had had his child?


	6. Chapter 6

"So what the hell happened?" Vic asked after I had gotten inside my house,

I looked at my friend who was sitting on my black couch waiting on an explanation like she was watching a movie and that something scary was about to jump her; and I wasn't sure what to say, how to explain what had happened, she was hot headed like me I knew she would take the truth and go to the club house trying to start a fight that I was in danger because of them. Because that is exactly what I would do.

"Car accident," I sat down on the chair in the corner and put a bag of frozen peas on my nose. That was one of the first times that I had lied to my best friend about things that involved me, when I knew club stuff I didn't tell her because it wasn't my business to tell, but this put me right in the middle of the shit storm.

"You sure?" she questioned me not quite believing me.

"Yes, pretty sure," I tried to look at her like she was crazy for questioning my truth, even though I was lying.

"Well if you changed your mind on what happened, let me know," she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Where did you go last night?" I questioned her changing the subject.

"I just wasn't feeling it," she pulled her legs up so she was sitting Indian style and started chewing on her thumb nail, like she always did when she lied.

"Mhmm," I gave her a face of judgment before standing up and heading towards my bedroom to get out of my bloody jeans and shirt.

"You must have a death wish," she yelled down the hall to me, "Whatever you said to Happy in the hall way pissed him off, he punched the hospital wall."

I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a crop top to be comfortable before coming back out to Vic who had a smile on her face typing something on her phone.

"Who's that?" I questioned her sitting back down with my frozen vegetables.

"No one," she didn't look up she just kept texting away her smile getting bigger as her message alert kept binning.

"Tell Juice I said hello," I smirked at her knowing I was right by the way her smile fell when I called her out. "You totally have more than the usual Vic feelings for him," I threw a decorative pillow at her one handed so not to fuck up my shoulder again.

"He wants me to come over," she threw the pillow back but completely missed where I was sitting.

"Bye," I joked with her but I already felt nervous at the fact that I was going to be left alone here after being taken yesterday, the fact that Gemma had been raped.

"Nah, I'm staying with you," she tried to sound sure of herself but being friends with someone for your whole life really didn't allow you to hide much of your tone from each other, she was disappointed by her statement.

"Go, Victoria," I tried to sound convincing, "I won't get in another car accident sitting in the living room," she put her feet back on the ground and acted like she was going to get up but she kept sitting there. "Vic, seriously, I'm probably going to take a nap, eat some food and go to sleep,"

"You sure?" She questioned but didn't move, I could tell she already felt guilty and she hadn't even made the decision to leave yet.

"Yes, if something happens I'll call one of the guys," I tried to convince her and myself as well.

"And me," she tried to make me agree standing up and slipping on the shoes in front of her. "Promise you'll call me,"

"I will," I reclined the chair back and rested the bag on my face when I heard her truck start up. My eyes were aching from being up most of the night alone with most of my body from getting thrown around last night. Quiet usually freaked me out, growing up in a huge group of people noise was always a constant but I was surprised when I started to slip into sleep a few minutes after Vic had left, or at least it was mostly silent, every time I shut my eyes I heard Gemma's screams, the chains from my wrists ringing against the metal it was attached to and a bike rumble? I quickly sat back up in the chair and looked out the bay window beside me to see Happy sitting on his bike at the end of the driveway. I should of known he would follow me here, technically it was his house too, we had bought it together after we had found out I was pregnant, we had been shacking up in his apartment at the club house most of the time, or in my small bedroom with a twin sized bed at Gemma's so when we realized there was going to be another one of us we found a two bedroom house that we could easily afford the payments on without having to make too much adjustments to our life style, I didn't own a shop back then I just worked at one a town over and he was still just an outlaw, the money didn't flow like the river for us. He would get a big payment for whatever the club was dabbling in and we'd save every penny not knowing when the next time he was going to get more.

I continued watching Happy out the window while he took off his helmet hanging it on the handle bars but he didn't get off the bike, he just cut the engine and stayed sitting there, he wasn't really paying attention to anything so he clearly didn't know I was watching him. I fought with myself mentally for longer than I should of before I stood up going for the door to see what he wanted.

"You didn't have to come out," he said when I was in ear shot, he was finally getting off the bike.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned stopping in front of the handle bars while he crossed his arms in front of is chest.

"I'm not buying the bull shit," he snapped looking me up and down and I became aware of the fact that there was a pretty large gap between the bottom of my shirt and the top of my pants, his eyes skimmed over the tattoo designs on my hips causing the skin there to feel like it was bubbling lava.

"What bull shit?" I asked putting my hands on my hips hoping to cool the skin and move his eyes away from them.

"A car accident, wounds don't add up," he pulled up the top of his baggy jeans and his chain wallet jingled as he let them go and they fell to the same spot they had just been sitting in.

"I panicked, threw my arms up," I lied forgetting who I was lying too, Happy was a thinker, he had ran through all of the things that could of caused my injuries.

"Then why aren't your hands cut up?" He asked moving closer and I was too stupid to back away. His strong calloused hands grabbed both of mine, turning them so we both could see the inside of my hands, not a cut in sight, we both looked at each other after looking at my hands, "The windshield was shattered, but no cuts," he turned them back over and looked at my right hand that had swollen cut knuckles from Tara's mirror. "But these," I pulled my hands out of his too quickly and winced at the pain in my shoulder.

"Where is your sling?" his deep voice caused every nerve ending in my body to pay attention to him, that had always been one of my favorite things about him, his voice, how out right he was. When we had started really hanging out not just having sex it was hard to make conversation with him, Happy didn't have much to say but when he spoke it was important and powerful, you'd do well to listen to what he said. But now my brain wouldn't listen to my body when my limbs tried to listen to what he said my brain had other ideas, she was an independent bitch and didn't want to relive the past with him.

"I'm not going to sit around with a sling," I rolled my eyes and he started to grind his teeth again, the bone running up his cheek twitching while he did it.

"What happened to yours?" I asked noticing his hand, I knew he had hit the wall in the hospital I had heard it and Vic had confirmed it earlier but I asked anyways, holding onto his wrist keeping his bruised knuckles in sight.

"It was the wall or you," he said truthfully. Happy had never hurt me, never come close to hitting me, but the house I was living in had more patch work on the walls then I cared to admit, his anger was such a deep ocean inside him that the waves splashed over sometimes, he was used to being in an MC where the way they solved there problems with each other involved fists and blood; it was a hard cross over for him when I pissed him off and he couldn't throw blows. We were an explosive mixture, everyone knew it but the make up sex was amazing.

"You made the right decision," I tried to sound tough but it was a little lack luster in my current situation.

"What happened?" he asked one more time, choosing not to retort to my threat.

"Car accident," I put my hands back on my hips, "Why are you here?" I asked him the same question.

"To keep whoever did this shit to you from doing it again,"

"I don't think that cement barrier is coming to get me," I turned back towards the house hearing thunder in the distance and slammed the front door behind me, feeling the heat build in my jeans from the argument with him.

I slid down the wood and sat in front of it, pulling my knees up to my chest, I didn't know why but lying to him was always hard, especially when he knew I was lying, it was like his eyes made me move the way he wanted me to and his voice played my body like a fiddle. Everything with happy was hard but it had always been worth it.

Once I had calmed down from our conversation I went into the kitchen putting some water for some mac and cheese, it was getting to be dark and I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. While I was waiting on the water to boil I went back into the living room and up to the window seeing Happy lounge back on his back the back of his cut towards the house; I watched him just sitting there for a while before I shut the blinds on him and got away from the window as fast as I could.

I sat down at the table with a heaping bowl of pasta and jumped as a boom of thunder went off followed by a loud crack of lightning. By the time the food was gone the rain started pouring down so hard the tin roof sounded like it was going to cave in and I moved so fast towards the door I didn't think my feet had touched the beige rug. Opening the door I had earlier slammed I shook my head to what I saw in front of me, Happy was still lounging on the bike, laid back like it wasn't pouring enough to fill a pool outside, still just watching the road.

"Hap!" I yelled and my hair was instantly soaked. He turned towards me, the rain splashing down around me so hard I couldn't see the emotion on his face. "Get your ass in here," I ordered as another crack of lightning flashed a little too close for comfort and I gasped, he still didn't move as the thunder rolled across the valley bouncing off every surface it could. "Please," I yelled my last ditch effort. He sat still for a few more minutes before swinging his feet and setting them on the muddy driveway, the ditch in the front yard was so full it had started to fill in the lawn.

He didn't walk any faster than usual as the lightning lit his way to the house, and I was completely soaked from head to toe when he got up close enough that his black eye shined in the next flash.

We both stood inside the door dripping on the floor while he took his boots off and I rung up my hair, that part of the rug already screwed so a little more water didn't matter. "What the hell were you thinking?" I asked heading towards the bathroom to get us some towels.

"That I wouldn't melt," he simply answered.

"You're a dumb mother fucker you know that?" I reached into the cupboard and yelled it down the hall to him, "You could have been killed," I took two towels with me towards the living room and started back towards him throwing him a towel with my good hand.

"So could you..in that car accident," he growled rubbing his head with the towel, his white shirt was stuck to his hard abs like a second skin and the bottom of his shirt came up exposing the top of his boxers where a trail of hair was leading into this jeans. The top of his shirt fell back down and he was staring at me again, watching me check him out and I felt heat rise in my wet cheeks, and I quickly turned away from him and hid myself in the kitchen. I started putting away the clean dishes from the dishwasher having nothing else to do and knowing that I was not going out into the living room I had left Happy in. The rattling of the dishes kept me occupied and I hopefully made him think I was busy, keeping him away.

When I got down to the last dish I hissed trying to lift the heavy glass pan up into the cupboard going onto my tippy toes and using my bum arm and I still couldn't get it in there, but an extra set of hands grabbed the dish and a hard body pushed up against mine, placing the dish in the proper place before shutting the cupboard, I quickly turned around pushing against his built body.

"Than.." I opened my mouth to say but I was lifted off the ground a soft set of lips roughly pushing against mine, instantly fighting for dominance and I wrapped my legs around his waist, an all to familiar move. My brain was screaming to me to stop but I couldn't as a moan slipped out from the back of my neck as he moved his mouth away from mine starting down my neck biting and nibbling to my healthy shoulder. "Hap," I started but he brought his mouth back, biting my bottom lip and dropping me on the counter behind us, I'm pretty sure I landed on a lid to Tupperware, feeling it cut into my butt cheek and my tail bone was grinding into the granite as I stretched out pulling his cut off and dropping it to the ground, Happy lifted me up a little pulling at my yoga pants that had formed to my body like they were super glued on from the rain and he growled in aggravation. We moved like a play we had rehearsed a thousand times, our teeth slamming against each other but I didn't care and he didn't seem to either, we were too busy fighting for ownership of the other. He had given up on the pants and pushed back starting on the bottom of my shirt, which I copied tugging at his t-shirt as he ripped the thin straps of my shirt tearing it off and leaving me in my bra. He reached down to get his own shirt, pulling it up over his head in the awkward way guys always took his shirt off while I started taking off his belt that was hooked with a SAMCRO belt buckle. "Fuck," I muttered as he pulled me off the counter and turned me around so I was leaning over the counter, staring at our reflection in the mirror, both of us were. "Hap...," I started again my brain trying to fight her battle.

"Shut the fuck up," he snapped, a slap hitting my ass cheek leaving a tingle and lips ran down my spine, each time he moved down he dragged his teeth leaving goosebumps on his trail. His hands started on my pants again and I almost laughed as he started rolling them down, not being able to pull down the soaked fabric. Finally I felt the air through my lace panties as he continued kissing moving the pants down, when he kissed the back of my knees I knew he didn't have anymore room to move and he lifted me again, only this time he pushed me up at an angle that my bum shoulder hit the side of the microwave that was attached to the underside of a cupboard and I couldn't stop the screech of pain. The kisses instantly stopped, and my feet hit the ground. I watched him ran his hands over his head in the microwave before I turned around towards him in my bra with my pants bunched at my ankles.

"Fucking shit," he made a fist and punched the fridge door causing it to push back against the powerful hit.

"Happy," I finally got his full name out but it didn't matter he grabbed his shit off the floor and he was walking away again, I didn't react until I heard the front door slam.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I question myself making a fist like he had earlier and punching a near by cabinet so hard the door fell off.

* * *

Thank you to all the reviews I've gotten! It really helps me want to put out more content! (and David Labrava's face..that helps too,)

I don't own anything you recognize!

Let me know what you think? Are you loving it? Or hating it? How will Bowie play into the story line?


	7. Chapter 7

The morning after Happy had left I woke up hissing in pain, the bruises really were settling in after the attack yesterday and the new ones on my hips where I had been slammed against the counter last night. I groaned a little more remembering what had happened last night, and the world spun for a minute when I stood up. It seemed everything was spinning out of control lately, ever since he came back into town. I went down the hall into the dining room after using the bathroom and about jumped out of my skin at what I saw.

"HOLY SHIT," I yelled at the woman sitting at my table, "What are you doing here?" I asked putting my hand on my chest to make sure my heart didn't hop right out looking at Katie Lowman who was sitting at my table, a coffee cup steaming in front of her and a plate of fluffy scrambled eggs.

"Morning," she smiled like she didn't break in, "Can't I come visit my favorite daughter?" I sat down at the table in front of her.

"What are you going to do when he gets a girlfriend?" I smirked at her.

"Die of a shock.." she inspected my face, "Damn they got you good baby,"

"How did you get in?" I didn't acknowledge her comment on the obvious state of my face.

"I've got a key," she held up her key chain, I had never changed the locks after Happy had left, I figured he would never come back. "Came to find out what happened between you and my boy last night," I gave her a confused look, I was never sure how Katie always knew everything, Happy wasn't really much of a sharer, especially with his mother, she was one of the only people that he feared and telling her the sick moves he made in the name of SAMCRO might piss her off. "He came home breaking shit last night, slamming around before he got a bottle, muttering about a bitch he almost fucked..figured that was you," she couldn't stop the smile on her face from spreading even further.

"I usually am," I rolled my eyes. "But I don't know what his problem is," I stood up to go get some coffee and she looked at my hips when I walked past.

"Looks like you don't," I knew I should of changed my clothes before I got up, my bruised hips were on full display. "He almost tore my house apart, and by the looks of your cabinet door you had a night of it too,"

"Why did you come here?" I asked again, leaning against the door way.

"You two can't be tearing apart the house every time you fight or fuck," she moved eggs around her plate before looking back at me, "You two either need to get over it or get under each other,"

"And you tell him all this stuff?"I put my hands on my bruised hips.

"Yeah, but I don't have to travel to tell him this shit, he hears it everyday" the lady smirked at me one last time before I went into the kitchen to fill my caffeine tank.

* * *

"And then he just left?" Vic asked at the table "He didn't even put the tip in?" I was sitting in a chair behind the desk at work after closing, working on our accounting since I was down an arm and wouldn't be doing any hair for a few days at least. "And then Katie showed up?"

"It's like my life from 3 years ago is filtering back in, a fucking time warp or something," I slammed the pencil down on the desk, "And I can't make heads or tails of this shit," I looked down at the scratch paper in front of me, math problems were all over it.

"If we aren't in the hole, we're good," Vic finished cleaning our combs in the sink, "So what are you going to do about him?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," I rolled my eyes at her.

"Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself," she smirked sitting down in the chair at her station.

"You are trying to make it more than it is, it's just almost sex,"

"No," she crossed her legs and gave me a judging look, "It's not just fucking, if it was just fucking he wouldn't of stopped,"

"You don't know.." I began but she cut me off.

"Happy Lowman doesn't just stop fucking some girl, he hurt you and he stopped, do you think he'd do that for a crow eater, for me?" Thoughts of Vic and Happy fucking ran through my mind and I felt anger pulse through my veins before fizzling off when I looked at the woman speaking, my best friend. "He would of kept going not caring what happened,hell knowing Happy he'd take joy out of it, he'd probably bang her a few times more into that microwave,"

"You're looking too deep into it," I started collecting the papers on the desk in a stack, still not having them figured out, "He stopped because it's me,"

"You're so full of shit," she stood up coming up beside me.

"Shouldn't you be bothering Juice and not me?" I questioned her knowing it would get under her skin, she still hadn't admitted her feelings for him.

"He's up at CARACARA," she rolled her eyes and raised her lip like she smelled shit. "The guys are doing porn now," her voice sounded like a growl.

"They make porn?" I raised an eyebrow picturing the guys on DVD covers.

"No, they partnered with Luann," she picked up her purse from the floor under the desk and handed me mine as well, "Lets get the hell out of here,"

"Yeah, I told Gemma I'd come by the garage and see her,"

"Maybe lover boy will be there!" she laughed turning the lights off as we headed outside locking the shop behind us.

"Sorry Ma'am," I heard as I stepped out into the sunlight in front of the man from that night. "Just passing through," fear ran through my body as images of that night ran through my mind, Gemma's screams bounced off every surface of my brain and the man kept walking off.

"Isn't that the guy?" Vic asked and I panicked.

"What guy?" I questioned quickly.

"That came to the party that night," and I let out a half relieved breath.

"Yeah," I watched him walk towards a green vehicle, turning to look back at me as he opened the door.

* * *

"Gem?" I asked into the office of TM, her car was parked outside but the office was empty and I huffed knowing there was only one place she could be. Inside the club house, all the guys were bound to be inside as well all of the bikes were lined up.

"BOWIE!" Tig yelled as I came into the club house, drawing attention towards me and all of the guys looked over at me, a black set of eyes included. I didn't acknowledge any of them as I walked over to where Gemma was sitting at the bar a beer in front of her and she was watching the TV above where she was sitting.

"Been waiting on you," the small scratches on her face would cause everyone to conclude that I was the hurt one in the "accident" we had supposedly had yesterday but I knew the truth of what was going on with her on the inside.

"You okay?" I asked, going around to the back of the bar and pouring myself a short glass of whiskey.

"Yeah," she wasn't telling the truth. "Little early for whiskey don't you think?" she looked at my glass not making eye contact with me.

"Nah," I shrugged my one good shoulder.

"Hey I tried to stop and see you this morning, but someone was there," Bobby yelled across the bar from the spot he was occupying on the couch, the side of my face felt hot knowing two eyes were burning into it.

"Yeah, I had a visitor," I kept my face neutral trying to avoid looking at Happy; I made my way back around the bar and sat down beside Gemma, my back towards the club again.

"They visiting awfully early," Bobby yelled again but this time I ignored him.

"Who was that?" Gemma muttered before taking another swig of her beer.

"Katie," I muttered back, not exactly wanting Happy to know his Mom had been visiting me.

"What did that old bitch want?"

"She heard about the accident," I wasn't really lying she had just heard about a different accident. "Came to make sure I was okay,"

The guys started laughing loudly in the corner and Gemma just about jumped out of her skin at the sudden raise in volume. "Gem," I grabbed her arm above where I knew her wrists were rubbed raw.

"Yeah," she was breathing heavily trying to calm herself down.

"You need to talk to someone, before you hurt someone," I tried to convince her calmly before something heavy landed on my good shoulder and I literally yelled in surprise my heart rose up into my throat,I was sure I could of thrown it up.

"Damn," Opie's deep voice stopped my heart from beating so hard and I looked up at my beanie wearing big brother. "Didn't know you were a screamer," he joked but I could barely hear him over how fast my blood was pumping through my brain.

"What do you want?" I snapped standing up putting my back to the bar, not wanting empty space behind me.

"Mary says Ellie needs a haircut,"

"Bring her by sometime early next week, or Vic can do it," I smiled up the best I could.

"Mary will bring her by," his face looked like a hollow skeleton to how he was before Donna had died, he didn't even look healthy anymore, his skin had a sort of ghoulish tint to it.

"You could come visit me," I smiled at him knowing I wouldn't get a response, "I am your only not blood sister,"

"I'm busy," he informed me before turning towards the rest of the guys and walking away, leaving me leaning against the bar, two sets of eyes scanning me up and down.

"The guys are going on a run tomorrow, I want you to stay with me," Gemma said from behind me still sitting at the bar.

"I don't need a keeper," I told my mother figure.

"No you don't," she reached out and grabbed my arm but didn't look at me, "But I don't want to stay alone,"

"I'll think about it," I said to her before slipping my sunglasses on and walking out of the club house wanting to get out of the line of fire.

* * *

Later that night I was sitting outside with my earphones in listening to music, enjoying the light breeze that was blowing when a familiar bike pulled up for the second night in a row. I couldn't help but shake my head as I stood without thinking and walked towards Happy.

"You stalking me?"I questioned him pulling out one of my ear buds letting it hang, watching him turn off the bike and put his feet on the ground.

"Why? Afraid I'll see your company," he just about spit at me, his anger was so thick.

"Jesus Happy, it wasn't a guy," I didn't want to tell him that but I also couldn't help it from slipping out of my mouth.

"Didn't say it was," he got off his bike crossing his arms in front of me, clearly he didn't believe me.

"Why are you here Hap?" I questioned, crossing my arms copying him. Before he could answer my question Hale pulled up beside Happy's bike, and Happy growled when Hale put both of his feet onto the driveway.

"Hey," Hale smiled at me, we had always gotten along, even though he was trying to shut down SAMCRO, he always left me out of it, knew I didn't know shit and if I did I wouldn't talk.

"What do you want?" Happy stood up in between us, Hap didn't feel the same way about Hale or any kind of authority figure.

"Came to see Bowie," he tried to move around Hap and he blocked him off, arms still crossed, his stance straight and strong.

"Hap," I reached out and grabbed his warm tattooed skin, trying to knock him out of attack mode, but his muscles just tightened against my grip.

"Wanted to make sure you were okay," he was speaking through Happy this time.

"She's fine," he moved forward again, just about bumping noses with the cop.

"I didn't ask you," Hale gave Happy attitude and it was over, Happy moved in the last bit he could, his crossed arms resting against Hale's chest. I moved around them both before Hale could open his mouth and Happy showed him exactly who was the tougher man. I'd have to put all my money on Hap and I wasn't much of a betting girl.

"Both of you stop," I pushed Hap back non threatening and put my hands against his muscular strong chest, once he stopped gritting his teeth and just glared at Hale I turned so my back was to Happy and spoke to Hale.

"I'm fine thanks for checking up on me," I was giving him more signs then one that he needed to get into his vehicle and leave.

"Yeah," Hale kept staring over my head at the angry man behind me.

"Bye," I smiled at the officer, giving him the last clue, I didn't know how long Happy would keep playing this game with him, he was like a rottweiler at the end of his chain, alert and ready to pounce.

"Bye," Hale kept standing there, not looking down at me for a few moments before he turned and got into his car, still watching Happy through the open window.

"What was that?" I questioned him once Hale had pulled away.

"That who your fucking now? That pig?" he looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of me, but I knew he never would.

"I'm not doing this Hap," I shoved his chest hard and he grit his teeth moving in on me like a shark before putting his hands down at his sides repeatedly making fists and releasing them. "You lost the right to ask me those questions when you left," I shoved him one more time, only this time his feet didn't move, only the top of his body pushed back.

"I told you, I don't believe this accident shit," he ground his teeth. "I'll be staying here tonight,"

"You're bike is going to be uncomfortable," I snapped mad he didn't trust me, even though it was a lie, I could take care of myself! I had been for the last three years since he had left. I stormed off to the house, slamming the door behind me locking it and going towards the bathroom for a shower.

After I was out I putted around a bit, doing house work and watching some TV and finally at midnight I decided I was ready for bed, I quickly looked out the closed blinds, seeing Happy still in the driveway, I could see the glow of him in the street lights, he was laying back against his bike watching the street.

"Jesus," I muttered dropping the blind and walking towards my bedroom.

* * *

I don't own anything you recognized! What do you think? Let me know how you feel about this story even if you hate it!

-Bailey


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning I wasn't shocked when I looked out the blinds and saw that Happy wasn't in the driveway anymore, I remembered that Gemma had said the guys had a run today, and I wasn't surprised that he hadn't hung around for breakfast. So when I pulled up to TM and saw the large collection of bikes and all the women that loved SAMCRO I couldn't help but roll my eyes all the two blondes around Happy's bike, and I felt satisfaction running through my body knowing he had spent at least half the night sitting outside my house not fucking the whores around the club house.

"Hey," Tara smiled at me when I walked up beside her and Gemma.

"Hi" I smiled at her, glad my large black sunglasses were covering my eyes as I watched Happy out of the corner of my eyes as the two women felt all over him. "Where are they going?" I asked Tara surprised that she wasn't at work.

"Not sure where they are really going, but they say they are saving the children," she rolled her eyes and I laughed. "Bitch," she muttered watching Ima talking to Jax and twisting one of her pigtails around her finger and she was chewing a large wad of gum.

"Hey Darling," Luann came up beside me before I could ask Tara about Ima. I had always liked Luann, she was true to who she was, a porn star that was sucking the right dick at the right time and now ran the show. "Heard what happened, how are you doing?"

I held in a growl as one of the girls pulled Happy's face down by her breasts wiggling them around and it was harder than it should have been to pull my eyes back to Luann. "I'm fine," I said flatly to her.

"Bowie, Luann," Bobby walked by speaking to both of us and Luann wiggled her fingers in a wave back at him before flipping her hair over her shoulder and that really distracted me from Happy.

"What's up with that?" I asked her feeling my face spread in a smirk.

"What?" She questioned, "Come to the warehouse and see me today, I need your help doing some hair for a shoot," she changed the subject and didn't wait for a response before walking away.

"Did you read it?" Jax came up behind me causing me to jump, I knew he was talking about the papers he had given me at Donna's funeral.

"Haven't yet, works been crazy, and then this," I motioned to my bruised body. "Let me know when you do," he gave me a kiss on the forehead before walking over and getting on his bike. Opie did the same thing, pressing a whiskered kiss to my forehead and then headed towards his bike.

Tara stood beside me watching them get ready to leave, Ima was watching her from the other side of the lot, staring her down.

"You two about to fight in the middle of the drive way for him?" I looked over at Jax, not seeing it..he was too pretty, and basically my brother.

"I already won, she knows," Tara smirked watching her, "She's making her last attempts,"

I looked over at her confused before she told me about what went down at the CARACARA wrap party last night and how Ima had walked in on her and Jax fucking in the bathroom.

"Don't underestimate that bitch," I warned Tara, her and I had grown up in the same town but she didn't know the people in it like I did, she didn't know what lengths Ima would stoop to get her claws in Jax.

"I'm not,"

Happy walked into the middle of the lot in front of where Clay pulled up to after he had removed himself from the grasp of tweedle dee and tweedle dum.

I watched Happy's mouth move but I wasn't listening to what he was saying, I was just watching him smiling at the President. Clay said something back to him and Happy held out his sweatshirt arm and shot off his gun twice before trotting to his bike, the run had started.

* * *

"Where is Gemma?" I asked Piney as I got back to the lot after helping Luann out with three of her girl's hair.

"Haven't seen her in hours," Piney was walking towards the large flat bed they kept around for when they needed to move the bikes.

"Where are you going?" I asked him knowing that all the bikes were gone.

"Something happened to Tig, going to get his bike," he was holding a bottle of tequila in his hand with a straw dipped down in the opening.

"You sure you should be driving?" I asked looking at the half empty bottle and then him.

"Yeah, why not?" he took a sip off the straw and looked at me like I was the crazy one.

"You sure?" I questioned again, trying not to laugh.

"Look, come with if you don't trust me," I didn't know what I was thinking when I agreed, but I followed the old man to the flatbed and the next thing I knew we were turning onto the highway.

"How have you been doing darling?" Piney asked messing with the radio dial an few hours into our ride.

"I've been good," I simply answered him.

"Even since he's come back?" he asked, Piney and I had always been close, or at least we had been but after the death of JT and then my father he had completely changed, he started drinking heavily and fucking girls that were high enough to see Pluto every night, he was nothing like the loving man I had spent so much time with. He was the one that taught me how to be tough, JT always thought I should of acted like a princess, me being one of the only girls around, he had wanted that for me, for me to be a girly girl, get married, have babies, shit like that, preferably with Jax. My dad had just wanted me to grow up, to be happy. But Piney had taught me how to bait my fishing pole, how to drive, how to fight, he was one of my preferred people all those years ago.

"We really going to talk about this?" I asked looking over at him, trying not to smirk.

"Yeah, guess we are," he took another sip, "I see the way you two watch each other, you barely hide it anymore! I know he broke your heart darling, kicked you when you were down; but what you two had.." he stopped and looked at me like I was understanding what he was saying.

"And what was that?" I questioned the man.

"Neither of you were relationship people, hell I've known you since you were born and can name the boyfriends you've had on one hand. But the moment he came into the picture it was like you two were in 100 %, you both stopped fucking around, shacked up. That is saying something for both of you."

"We liked to have sex, that's all it was,"

"No, that wasn't! You know the shit Happy does for this club, that shit weights heavy on him but he was okay with you. I saw him shortly after he left here that day, and he looked like a whole new person, he was lost without you, looked like shit, was fighting everyone and everything. He didn't think about his actions because he didn't care if he lived or not."

"Have you and Katie Lowman been comparing notes?" I questioned the man as we came up to a lot where the guys were minus Tig.

"We are old Honey, we've seen it all, we know love when we see it, and we both know that shit years ago is just a bump in whatever this is going to be,"

"It wasn't a bump Piney, I lost our daughter,"

"You can't let that shit eat you up inside, you need to talk about it, and the only person that understands what you are going through is him," he nodded his head towards Happy as we parked beside him.

"What are you doing here?" Clay asked coming up to my window.

"It was this or doing more hair at the whore house,"

"Good decision," he agreed.

Clay walked away leaving me in the truck alone, Piney had gone to talk to Jax. The guys had added blanket rolls to the back of their bikes that they hadn't had before, I had known this ride wasn't about the children but I figured it was guns, that was one of the only things SAMCRO consistently did.

"Come on Darling," Piney opened the door beside me and got in the truck yelling out to Jax to hop on.

"What are you doing?" I asked as Jax yelled to the guys and Chibs, Half Sac, and Hap hopped on the back.

"To get Tig," Piney said calmly as the guys stood behind the back window holding onto the top of the truck.

"Where is he?" I questioned, he had said earlier that he was in the hospital with a gash on his leg.

"Bounty hunters got him,"

"Shit," I muttered as the truck slowed down, and Piney turned into a hotel.

"Whats the plan here?" Jax yelled into the cab of the truck.

"Hold on!," Piney yelled back to him; putting the truck in reverse and backing up towards the hotel.

"Piney!" I yelled grabbing his arm and watching out the back window as the guys held out their guns.

"Oops." Piney said laughing as hit the hotel wall, glass shattering. I couldn't look away as Happy and Sack jumped off the back of the truck getting Tig and within a blink of an eye he was on the back of the truck and we were driving away.

"Holy shit!" I yelled at the old man but couldn't help as to laugh too, the adrenaline running through my body. "Clay isn't going to like this," I smiled at the old man, Clay never liked when anything didn't go his way.

"Blame it on the dementia," Piney laughed again.

"You're going to have to ride up with one of us," Jax said once we were all back together, "Tig can't ride." I guess Piney hadn't thought about that fact there were only two seats in the truck and he was picking up an extra person. The guys wouldn't let me ride on the floor or two to a seat, like they were worried about breaking the law.

"I'll be fine I'll just..."

"You're not going with them," Jax argued before I could even make my point. "Go get on my bike," I rolled my eyes before kissing Piney on the cheek.

"HEY!" Happy's voice yelled before I could get on Jax's bike and his helmet came flying through the air at me. "Get on," he ordered me and I knew he was talking about his bike.

"Better ride with him Doll," Jax came up beside where I was standing with Happy's helmet in my hands, "He doesn't want you on another man's bike," I gave Jax a disgusted look.

"That's not his choice,"

"Please, not today," Jax said a begging tone in his voice and I looked over the faces of all the angry men around me, they all were having a bad day.

"Fine," I muttered walking over to Happy's bike, putting a hand on his muscular shoulder and getting on the back.

"Helmet," was the only thing he said as he started the bike and I wrapped my arms around his body loosely. When we pulled out at the back of the pack Piney looked out the window at me a smirk on his face, this had been his plan all along, the bastard.

The fresh air against my face felt good, I had forgotten how much I loved riding over the years, it was completely free, nothing around you, no mass of metal doors and windows, just you and the road...and your ex boyfriend. Happy had put his hand down every once in a while when we had to stop on my thigh but for the most part he had kept his distance, as much as you could on a motorcycle. We rode until the sun went down, finally making it to a party in the middle of no where, the other charters of the Sons were there. I saw some familiar faces in the crowd as I got off Hap's bike and started stretching my legs; my ass and thighs still felt like they were vibrating against the bike.

"BOW!" I heard yelled from the crowd and Kozik came up in front of me, a huge smile on his face and I matched it, taking off Hap's helmet and handing it to him before jumping into the blonde's arms.

"I missed you girl!" he said putting me back on the ground!

"I missed you too!" I smiled, Kozik used to be SAMCRO but he had left when some shit went down between him and Tig a few years ago, Kozik had always been one of my favorite people, he was funny as hell and as down to earth as they came, and in a motorcycle club that was hard to come by.

"You still with him?" Kozik asked looking over at Happy who was watching us from his bike.

"No," I smiled locking arms with him, "Come on Koz, get a girl a drink," he nodded his head and we started towards a cooler.

"You roll a shitty joint," Ope commented to Bobby later that night as we all sat around a plastic table, Kozik long since had abandoned me for a piece of ass.

"It's a masterpiece," Bobby laughed lighting it up taking a hit and handing it to me.

"I've seen worse," I laughed taking a few hits before handing it to Ope while they discussed some shit going down between Clay and Jax. I didn't really listen, my eyes had landed on a tattooed shaved head, sitting underneath a skinny blonde. Hap had some girl sitting in his lap and they were heavily making out, not coming up for air, there hands were all over each other and I felt fire in my veins and then it heated any more as I got pissed that I was angry about it. I didn't know why I felt that reaction when I saw him, I knew he hadn't stopped fucking girls once he left, hell I could barely believe he hadn't cheated on me while I was pregnant and couldn't bare the thought of sex at the end. The two of them started groaning and I grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the table, trying to block out their noises with the sloshes of liquid; I chugged more as I saw Happy lift her shirt out of the corner of my eyes, exposing her large fake breasts.

* * *

Thank you to everyone who reviewed yesterday, I can't see them, I guess something is going on with the site, but I know they are there!

Let me know what you think! How will Happy react when he finds out what happened to Bowie?


	9. Chapter 9

Same Night

I had sat around the table chugging whiskey like it was water for most of the night, but eventually they all thinned out finding some whore they wanted to spend the night with. Happy had just about gotten the slut completely naked before he dragged her off into the dark a few hours ago; moans were heard all over the place as the wee hours of the morning took over and there wasn't really much socializing left.

"You look lonely,"a man around my age sat down at the table across from me, blocking my view of the fire. His hair was a light blonde and his eyes were some sort of light color, I could only see him from the few lights that were around shining a yellow cast on everything, but one of the few distinct things I could see was that he wasn't wearing a cut.

"You look lost," I would like to think I didn't slur as bad as I had.

The guy laughed before he spoke again, "Dad's a member, I'm just here for the party,"

"You're missing it," I picked up a new bottle in front of me and took a swig.

"I don't think so," he smirked at me, "Name's Toby," he held out a hand and I just looked at it, "Okay," he muttered before pulling it back.

"Hi Toby," I said to him no emotions in my voice.

"That is usually where people say their name," his smirk came back.

"Bowie," I didn't hold out my hand.

"Bowie? Like the singer?" he asked lighting up a cigarette.

"Exactly like that," I ran my finger around the top of the bottle watching the man in question.

"Okay Bowie," he flicked some ashes and smiled at me,"You seem like a nice girl, what are you doing here?"

I laughed out loud, "God you must have had more to drink then I've had, your vision is off,"

"Nah, I see you clearly Bowie," he stretched his smile even wider than I thought humanly possible and I only rolled my eyes.

"Your dad teach you to say that?"

"Nope, I inherited a great set of eyes.." he stopped and looked me over before he spoke again, "Want to see what else I inherited?" his smile disappeared and I saw the dark guy inside the blonde, he was just trying to seem like a nice guy to get my attention; now his true colors were slipping out.

"Sure," I nodded at him, not knowing why I said it, I knew what else he must of thought he inherited, but my mind wasn't speaking for me tonight, she had left a few shots ago, and those moans out in the dark all around me messed with me, I knew at one point one of those was the whore with Happy. The guy that I had been with, in every way for most of my adult life, we had bought a house together, tried to have a family, and now he was fucking some girl in the bushes half a foot from me.

Toby stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me up and I couldn't help but laugh as I stumbled and he held me up straight, "Come on," he grabbed my arm leading me out towards the dark.

"Bowie!"goosebumps instantly covered my body as his voice met my ears and a firm hand grabbed my other arm.

"Hey man,let her go," Toby snapped at Happy, his earlier tone leaving him, Happy's grip tightened as the man tried to pull me. The guys of all charters of Sons of Anarchy suddenly weren't so occupied with their whores as they filled in a small circle around us, the guys that knew Happy knew it wasn't good if someone bucked up against him. No matter how dark it was you could see the muscle in his jaw moving where he was grinding his teeth, he was also missing the shirt he had on earlier, a light skim of sweat was glistening on his chest.

"I don't think so," Happy growled, "She's mine,"

"I said..let her go," Toby said to him again and an echo of mutters filled the air around us from the leather wearing crew. I watched what was happening on both sides of me, I had heard what Happy had said but it was still registering in my brain, even when we were together he had never told anyone that, even the guys that hadn't known about us at all. I wasn't some bitch he could piss on and mark as his own, anger started bubbling up from my toes and spread through my body, still having each hand held by a guy. The moment I opened my mouth everything around me quieted down, I could only hear my voice.

"WHO THE FUCK..do you think you are!?" I ripped my arm out of their arms and pushed as hard as I could against Happy's sweaty chest, causing him to fall back a few steps before locking his eyes on me and coming forward. "I don't belong to you!" I pushed him again when he got closer only this time I used all my weight I had and some I didn't know I did, pushing him back.

"Don't push him bitch," his whore from earlier stepped in between us before Hap could react to the second push, trying to bump up against me. I saw red, and it was like a siren was blowing behind my ears and rattling my brain as I laughed in the girls face, before pulling back in what felt like slow motion and before I knew it my fist was in the bitches face and she was on the ground.

"HEY!" I heard Jax yelled but it sounded like he was twenty miles away from me, a tornado siren was going off behind my eyes. I was down on top of the girl, repeatedly hitting her in the face, my shoulder had long since popped out of place but I didn't stop, it was like with every hit I released another demon I didn't know was in side me, and then I would get pissed off again, I was in a cat fight that started out over Happy Fucking Lowman, the man who had left me and then blown back into town like he hadn't. More voices echoed my name as the bitch got a few hits in, hurting my already broken nose but I didn't stop, I couldn't stop myself. The woman's brown eyes clouded over and I knew she was about to pass out, and everything clicked, all the sound came back into play as I looked at the crowd around us all looking concerned all except for one, Happy stood with his arms crossed, smirking down at me, he thought he had won.

"Bitch," she muttered one more time and I broke eye contact with the murderer and went back to the girl.

"That's enough," Arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a standing position but I knew it wasn't him, he was still standing there, still smirking, no though of concern for his whore, or the man I was with earlier, he was just watching me.

I was pulled away from the group being dragged backwards as some ,fellow whores circled the one on the ground checking on her, and away from him.

"What the hell was that?" Jax asked turning me around towards him when he got out of ear shot of everyone else.

"Take me home Jax," I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer and I saw how much blood was on my hands, and finally felt a powerful ache in my shoulder.

"You can't just.."

"Take me home!" I shoved his chest as well, it wasn't such a risk pushing Jax, he was used to it after our childhood years together, I would push him if I couldn't get close enough to dig my nails into his arms.

"Okay," he held up his hands and walked back towards SAMCRO, as I leaned against his bike, looking down at the dirt on the ground.

"Okay psycho," Jax smiled when he came back up, "Lets go," he got on his bike and held out his helmet to me. I put the helmet on with my burning hands and got on the bike behind him turning my head one last time to see Happy in the distance, this time he didn't have a smile on his face, he had a murderous look.

* * *

Happy had never come back after the run, that was two months ago; Shit had gone back to normal and my bones had healed, there was no evidence of either night on my body ,or at least he hadn't come back until a bomb went off, blowing Chibs up 2 feet before landing him on his head in the middle of the lot. Happy showed up an hour later, so he must have been close before he got the call. No one had time to think about what had last happened between Happy and I, we were all worried about Chibs, and what the next move was going to be for the club. Gemma told me about seeing the girl with that van earlier and I felt a rip of guilt in my heart, maybe if we had said what really happened to us the lot wouldn't be filled with Chibs's blood and a blown up van.

"This isn't on us," Gemma muttered as the ambulance loaded Chibs up in the back.

"What are they going to do now?" I asked her as the guys walked into the club house slamming the doors behind them.

"They won't let this go," she was watching them too.

"I'm heading home," I told her, making a decision in my head, "Keep me in the loop with Chibs," I didn't wait for her reply as I got in my car and headed towards Main Street. I knew Weston and Zobelle would be in their store, they were every night at this time, I always saw them when I left the shop late. Probably waiting on the club to show up and beat their doors down. I parked my car in front of mine and Vic's shop and headed towards the store front next door, only to be stopped on the side walk by Weston; a sick smile spread across his face.

"I knew you'd come find me," he licked his lips and I shook my head disgusted, "Have a little fright tonight? Heard something go boom," Weston had been showing himself more and more over the last few months, it was almost like he knew Happy wasn't watching over my every move and he thought he was going to convince me to be with him. He had pushed himself into my daily routine, around almost every corner that I turned. Telling me about the ultimate race he believed in, how I could be a part of a great cause, and reminding me that I was alone, that Happy, my half breed, as he liked to call him, was gone. "Don't worry Bowie, I'll keep you safe, come stay with me, help me raise my boys," he stopped speaking and a smile spread further across his face, "I'll give you a baby that will live,"

That stopped me in my mental lashing of him, I knew he was evil but now I really saw the devil inside, he was trying to use his words, the power he thinks he had against me, to convince me that I needed him.

"You and your boss better back off," I pointed a finger at him but didn't touch him with it, I was certain his touch would burn my finger like I touched hell itself. "His whore daughter as well,"

A chuckle came out of the tall man, "There is that biker slut inside you,"

"You've made a mistake, they are going to skin you alive, torture you before they kill you!" I felt myself smile this time, "And I hope I've got a front row seat to watch, then those spawn children of yours will end up in the system, probably with a nice beautiful black family," his smile fell, "who will raise them and love them better than their ignorant, Nazi father ever could," I put my hands on my hips as I felt my words hiss out, "And the only thing they will think of when they remember their sperm donor father is that they wished you had died earlier,"

"Oh Bowie," he tried to stare me down, but after the last few encounters with Happy it didn't compare, "I'll give you one more chance to come to your senses, come to the light side before I do something you are going to regret,"

"Oh fuck you Adolf," I spit at the ground in front of him and turned back towards my car, knowing he wouldn't follow. His game was intimidation, he wanted me sitting at home scared that he was going to come get me in the night, or when I wasn't paying attention.

Once I got home I noticed I locked the door without a second thought, something I usually didn't do. While I was picking up the house I heard every noise around, wondering what it was before investigating. Feeling shitty as I realized that his little game had worked I was walking around my own house in fear. I sat down in a chair in the living room exhausted but a tingle of nerves caught me off guard when I couldn't force myself to go into my bed room alone.

A rumble of a bike was heard getting closer before it stopped right outside my house and I stood up looking out the blinds like usual and saw Happy once again sitting in the drive way, this time right up beside my car blocking the path to the house so no one could get it and every drop of fear I had left me knowing he was outside. A yawn escaped and I walked into the bedroom, almost asleep before my head hit the pillow.

* * *

You didn't think she was just going to let that girl go did you?

Let me know what you think! I always thought Weston was creepy during the show, and even more so as I re-watch the season on Netflix

BTW I don't own anything SOA.

Do you think Happy and Bowie should be together or is that played out, if they shouldn't who will she end up with?


	10. Chapter 10

I was shocked the next morning when I came into the living room to see Happy sleeping on the couch.

"Finally decided to come in? Not lurk out in the driveway?" he opened his eyes to look up at where I was standing over him but he didn't jump, he must of heard me coming.

"Guess so," he didn't say anything else but he swung his legs onto the floor and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"What are you doing here Hap?" I questioned him sitting down in the chair across from him.

He glared at me for longer then necessary before opening his mouth, "I know my Mom was over here visiting you,"

I gave him a confused look, it wasn't like him to talk about shit from the past and Katie hadn't been over since.

"All that shit that went down on the run," he started again his gruff voice somehow calming inside me even if I didn't want it to.

"What is this Hap? You dying or something?"

"No," he grunted standing up, "I'm here because I need help," it was a good thing I was sitting down or I would of fallen over. I had helped Happy with things over the years, patching him up, taking care of him while he was sick, shit like that but none of it he had ever asked for.

"With what?" I stuttered in shock.

"Katie...she's getting worse, I can't do this and help her too,"

"Do what?" I gave him a confused look.

"Be who I need to be for the club,"

"What about who you need to be for Katie?" I asked him and his face completely changed, it hardened to the Happy that other people got to see, not the guy I used to know, the guy who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes 3 minutes ago; but the truth always did toughen people up.

"You don't get it Bowie," he kept his face hard and my feet instantly hit the soft rug standing up in front of him. Happy was considerably taller than me and I hated that I had to look up to him when he stood close, it always made me feel like a child.

"I don't get it?" I questioned him this time I didn't push him I didn't want to piss him off I just wanted to get my point across, "I live in it, I grew up in it! I was apart of this club life before you were, I was born in the middle of all this shit,"

"You're on the outside," he thought he was insulting me by telling me that.

"And thank god that I am, because the shit I know from being on the outer ring of it is enough to keep me up at night, if I knew all the shit you, and the people I love most actually did...," I didn't finish my truthful sentence because I know most of it, shit they didn't think I knew about and I stood right here everyday. I would watch Happy come home covered in blood, wait for him to wash it off and then we'd be together like a normal couple or as normal as we got.

"You should of left when it happened, got the hell out of here when Harper died," hot tears filled my eyes listening to him talk about her.

"No, I didn't run from that, you did! I stayed here in my own misery!"

"You told me to leave," he growled and my hand tingled as I slapped it across his face without a second thought, and the noise of skin on skin bounced off every wall in the room; Anger was boiling in both of us and his calloused hand caught my wrist before I could drop it back to my side.

"Listen to me," he hissed, "I gave you your space, and now I'm back,"

"You didn't do that for me, you ran like a bitch when shit got hard, left me in all this," I looked around the room for dramatics, "Alone!"

The next thing I knew his lips were pushed against mine, the teeth bumping dominating kiss we always had and I was shot back into time like I was 18 again, he let go of my wrist and I put my hands on the back of his head, pulling it further down towards me and standing on my tippy toes, deepening the kiss while he put his hands down the back of my sweat pants resting them against my butt cheeks. My brain was going a mile a minute that bitch was trying to get me to stop like she always did when I did something I knew I shouldn't, I knew this shit with Happy and I couldn't go anywhere, there was too much history between us and no matter how much the people around us tried to push us together I couldn't and wouldn't forgive him for leaving that day as childish as it was, he walked away when I needed him most, without looking back with out as much as a goodbye note. I came home from the hospital empty handed to all his stuff emptied out, and a pile of cash on the table, The pile that was still in his empty dresser in the bedroom. I didn't want his blood money, he wasn't going to pay me off to make it okay, he had abandoned us, even if she was already gone he had bailed. I was raised that revenge was the only thing that simmered out the hatred in your body, and maybe that's what I was trying to do, rubbing all this shit in Happy's face. But my brain told me that he deserved every piece of it.

"Stop," I said after I mustered up enough strength to pull away from him. "We can't do this Hap," he backed off me like he was electrified and slammed out the door. I ran over the conversation we just had in my head, trying to put together why we had ended up in a lip lock and I couldn't come to a conclusion.

I ran out to the porch before he started his bike, "HAP!" I yelled and he looked up at me not saying a word. "Tell Katie I'll be over later!"

* * *

"They want 300k to get them out," Gemma just about spit the next day, yesterday the guys had been picked up for running into some kind of church fully loaded.

Tara and Gemma had just got back from talking to the club's lawyer.

"We offered to put our houses on the line, but that's only enough to get two of them out," I knew the guys weren't protected inside, they had far too many enemies and after what happened with Otto and then Chibs we knew it wouldn't be much longer before they got to the guys, now that they were trapped on the inside they were just sitting ducks.

"What about if we put up the shop?" Vic asked from the corner of Gemma's office.

"We'd still need more," Gemma stated watching us, I knew what she wanted next.

"And our houses," I added rolling my eyes, there was only one reason why Gemma would call us in the middle of the day and beg us to come see her, she needed us to agree to something. We had no choice, she would probably go over our heads and put our houses up anyways, she was a manipulative bitch when it was what she thought she needed to do.

"Yeah," Vic agreed and Opie's kids came running into the office and up to Vic wrapping themselves around her.

"This okay?" Opie darkened the doorway of the office, talking over us to Vic and her cheeks grew red.

"Yeah," she smiled at the giant. "Do what you've got to do, I'll bring them to your house later," The rest of us looked between the two of them both awkwardly interacting with each other.

Opie went out one door and Vic went out the other with his kids, leaving Tara, Gemma and I in the office still trying to figure out what happened.

"That's new," Tara commented watching the door that Vic had just gone out.

"What happened to Juice?" Gemma asked looking over at me.

"I don't know shit," I shrugged my shoulders before following after my friend. "Make the deal with the lawyer," I told Gemma before leaving.

"Hey," I yelled across the lot, Vic was shutting her back door behind Ellie. She stood beside the car waiting for me to get in front of her.

"What was that?" I asked her, "You with Ope now?" I gave her a confused look, when we were younger she had always had a crush on him, but he had always been with Donna and he was very faithful to her, right around the time they got married Vic started sleeping around more and more, and I guess I was a shitty friend because I had never put two and two together until now.

"Just been helping him with his kids," she said almost emotionless, which means she was completely lying.

"Okay," I nodded my head at her.

"If they run we loose our shop," she crossed her arms leaning against the car.

"And our houses," I reminded her.

"Shit, we'll all be living at the club house,"

"Sounds like you'll be staying with Opie," I looked into the back seat and both kids were staring up at us, "Go play Mommy," I smiled at her and turned back towards my car.

"Bitch," she yelled after me before she got in here car.

* * *

"You heard about my boy?" Katie asked later that night while I was visiting her in Bakersfield.

"Gemma talked to their lawyer, we are trying to post bail," Katie was sitting at her spotless kitchen table, a .38 beside her and a glass of ice tea in front of both of us, she was nothing but a lady.

"How much?" She asked, I could see a picture of Happy and I hanging on her living room wall from where I was sitting, it was probably one of the only pictures of us in existence, except for dumb ones I had forced him to take on my phone. It was us right after I had graduated cosmetology school, and we didn't know it yet but I was a few months pregnant with Harper already.

"300K," I looked away from the picture and back at the woman.

"Damn, where are you going to get that kind of money?"

"We put up a few houses, and the shop, we still don't know if that is enough still waiting on the word,"

"Fuck baby, Hap wouldn't want you to put up your shop," I rolled my eyes at the woman before she laughed, "Roll your eyes at me again and I'll slap them out of your head,"

"You're very persistent with this me and Happy thing, I just don't want your weak heart to be broken when it doesn't happen,"

"It's already broken seeing the two of you like this," she stated staring at me just like he does, her black eyes had something else in them a twinkle of age, like she knew shit that none of us did. "I need to take a shower,"

"Let me help you," I started following her down the hallway towards the bathroom, making sure she had all her things she needed, she got exhausted fast, she didn't have the strength to move around without ease and collect her things, she was sitting on the closed toilet lid in her robe trying to catch her breath when I got in there.

"Jesus Bowie," she took in a huge breath and then let it out, "Don't get old," she would of laughed at that point, but she didn't have the breath to do so.

I started the water for her in the walk in shower and made sure that everything she would need was inside.

"You don't need to stay in here," she snapped at me, "I'll let you know when I am done," she nodded at the door basically telling me to get the fuck out.

I went through the living room and kitchen putting things back where they went while she was in the shower, she had a bench in there so I wasn't too worried about her needing help until she had to get into her pajamas after her shower. Happy hadn't been lying, he really did need my help, Katie was getting worse, she was even worse than she was yesterday. Add to that the worry of her only child in jail, even if he was 35 years old, made it 100% worse, I had been over when I had got the call last night. She lost it when I told her, she had to sit down on the couch with her oxygen tank for an hour before she calmed down enough to even speak to me.

I was straightening the pillows on the couch when the door behind me flew open and I turned around as quick as I could letting out a screech of panic, not expecting anyone to be coming to visit Katie this late. Happy was standing in the doorway.

"You shouldn't of put the house up," was the first thing he said, not even a Hi.

"You're welcome," I told him putting my hands on my hips, my lips tingling remembering when we had seen each other yesterday.

"We got that house so you had a place to go other than the club house," he moved in on me like I was a wounded animal.

"Well then don't skip bail, or I'll be living there,"

"Bowie!" Katie yelled down the hallway from the bathroom.

"I got her, go home Bowie," Happy wasn't asking when he spoke.

"Yeah, tell her I said good night," I grabbed my purse off the couch and headed out the door.

* * *

Next Chapter we might get a view of Happy's pov

I'm going to be writing out a few people...I have no use for some of them, especially if I didn't like them during the show lol!

Let me know what you think!

Katie Lowman is turning out to be my favorite Character, they never showed Happy's mom or said what was wrong with her in the show but I imagine she would be a hard ass woman.

What do you think? What characters do you like?


	11. Chapter 11

AN:I guess something was going on with reviews this week! I could see I was getting them but I couldn't see what they said! So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that sent them in! I really enjoy reading them and usually you guys have better ideas than I do!

* * *

Happy's POV

Clay called church early a few days after we had been let out of county, I sat with all the guys around the chapel table waiting to find out what our next move was, Jax had been voted Nomad last night, leaving his patches behind before he had left, but now he was sitting in his usual spot not saying a word to anyone, but his VP patch was back along with his Redwood one. It made me jealous for a moment, he had a location patch, a home. My chest had the Nomad patch, a place I didn't want to be anymore but I also knew that they needed me in Tacoma as well as here. I had plans to land here, I just had to get shit right with Bowie first, we couldn't keep doing this dumb ass dance we had been doing. I had given her time and space, maybe a little bit too much, but I had never stopped what I felt for her. She was one of the only people that kept my ass from bouncing off the walls. When we lost Harper I couldn't take seeing her like that, my strong beautiful old lady was an echo, a shadow of what she had always been the second she found out our daughter wasn't breathing. I knew from the moment I saw the real her that if there was god, she had been made exactly for me. Everything about her, the way her brown hair curled without her doing anything to it, her voice was soft but firm, she was a fighter she had proved that more than once while she was growing all of that was in the package of a girl that looked like an angel, she wore the perfect disguise. If he was going to make someone for me he would make it a trap like her, someone that wanted to make me change who I was, hell I would of married her and had 100 babies with her if she had wanted, something I always swore I would never do.

Clay came in, still no one spoke as he walked to the head of the table, resting one of his large mitts on Jax's shoulder before sitting at his thrown.

"Listen up," Clay began looking us all in the eyes, "We've got some shit to tell you,"

"This have anything to do with that patch being back on your chest?" Bobby asked Jax.

"I'm not going Nomad,Just listen," Jax told the heavier man. The Anger on both men face got mine bubbling, I had always been quick to anger, and I was the first one to take that from someone else, I saw someone mad I became mad too.

"That night of Bobby's party," Clay began and my anger double, that was the night that Bowie and Gemma claimed they had been in a car accident, a bullshit lie I hadn't bought, I didn't know what had happened, I had tried to wrap my mind around it in more than one way but I knew it wasn't car related, that was a lie Unser had help them come up with so they didn't have to answer to the law or us. "Gemma and Bowie weren't in an accident," I curled both hands into fists, feeling my short nails dig into my palms, hearing you were correct in your assumption was supposed to bring pride but it did nothing but make me want to dig to the bottom of all this shit. "They were jumped..by Weston and his AB buddies," mutters of disbelief were heard around the table, a few eyes landing on me, anything that Bowie was mentioned in lately eyes landed on me.

"They gave the girls a message to deliver, stop selling guns to color! They chained them up," my blood ran faster than I ever thought was imaginable. "They raped Gemma, more than once,"

"And Bowie?" Chibs asked, thankfully because I might of flipped the table if he didn't answer.

"Weston, made her watch the rape, beat the shit out of her, every time she tried to help Gemma he would smack her around a little more, until she passed out, then Weston got his shot at Mom," Jax filled in the pieces to the puzzle I couldn't and my fist hit the table beside me, my boots were holding me up before I knew it, the chair I was sitting in slid out from underneath me and I had already started for the door, I wasn't seeing red, I was seeing black. Weston and Zobelle were going to die, a slow painful bloody death.

"Hap!" Clay yelled stopping me for leaving the chapel, "Sit back down," I didn't want to, hell I didn't think my knees were capable of bending but I did because I knew me going on the street and getting Weston wouldn't cause anything but my ass being in jail for a full life sentence, Bowie would lose her house and shop and my Mom would be left alone.

"So what do we do?" Tig asked Clay who looked over at Jax. While he spoke about how we couldn't retaliate yet, and how we needed to do research before making our move, all shit I didn't want to hear, I wanted to rip Weston's head off for laying hands on her, on what is mine the way I felt thinking about that drew me to a complete conclusion I had been slowly coming to but now I was set on, my mind wouldn't be changed on this.

"Hey," I spoke for the first time since Church had started, "Just to put it out there Bowie is mine," I growled at the table, all the guys eyes on me. It was a thing we had always done, claiming whoever we thought would be our old lady, letting everyone know to keep their hands off the girl, bringing her up from a hang around whore to something more, someone that would be protected.

"About damn time," Piney said from my left, and the rest of the guys agreed, I had said the same thing about her before to the club years ago, since then none of the club had thought about her in a sexual way, or at least they hadn't acted on it. I just wanted to reaffiliate the point now that I was back in town in case any of them got any ideas, me telling the group would trickle it down to the other charters, no biker would ever look at Bowie as anything more than a part of the extended club family and mine. I didn't need her permission to mark her as such, people didn't seem to question me, even if she did fight against it.

"Come on, lets go see what our favorite hair dresser has to say," Jax stood up the rest of us following suit.

"She doesn't know Gemma talked?" Juice asked the VP.

"Nah, she wasn't there last night, doubt she's even up,"

* * *

Regular POV

I woke up to the sound of a text, buzzing from the phone on the end table beside me. It was Sunday and the shop was closed so I had planned on sleeping most of the day away before I went to Katie's. I didn't really want to face what I knew had happened last night, Jax was going Nomad and our real family, not the club family,was going to be crumbling to pieces. I knew Jax had drawn his own conclusion to what had happened to Donna,he had told me when I returned JT's manuscript after finishing it,and I hadn't been able to disagree with him, no matter how hard I tried. I knew Clay would do anything to hold his place at the head of the club and taking out an old lady would be nothing but changing his underwear to him.

I wasn't surprised when I saw the text was from Tara, I figured it must have been about Jax but I instantly set up in bed after reading the words.

 **The guys know about that night, Gemma talked. Jax is back in the club.**

I heard a few whispered voices confirming what I had just been told. The club was sitting in the living room waiting on me.

"Shit, here we go," I muttered putting on a pair of jean shorts and t-shirt before slipping into my slippers and heading down the hallway. "At least tell me you brought breakfast," I stopped at the beginning of the living room watching all of them lounged over all the furniture. Chibs was the first one to move, he came in on me like a little boy after a puppy, he thought I was cute and wanted to pet me but he wasn't sure if I was going to bite him or not.

"Love," he stated before pulling me into a hug and I just lightly tapped his back.

"What is this about?" I asked already knowing the answer but I was a smart enough girl to play stupid.

"This is about that night, Bobby's party," Clay said, from the chair he was sitting in.

"Oh the car accident,"

"Cut the shit Bow," Jax stood up in front of me, "Gemma talked, you okay?" he questioned, he was a few months to late to really be asking.

"That loose lipped bitch," I muttered, I would get my moment with Gemma, the words I had for her probably would be a little stronger than that, "I'm fine, I've had my ass beat before,"

"Yeah, but not for us," Tig was the next one to stand pulling me into a hug that I reluctantly gave back.

"I wasn't the one who was raped, so why are you here?"

"That's the million dollar question tho," Clay's sharp voice caught me off guard. "Why didn't they get you too?"

I gave him a confused look and couldn't stop the words that flew out of my mouth next, "What are you saying Clay? You upset that I didn't?"

"No, what I am saying is there had to be a reason why you were spared, why you were only made to watch, and now would be the time to sing,"

Hap growled from the couch and got up standing beside me but not making eye contact with me, I was surprised he wasn't the one yelling at me, he had been watching the house because he knew that the accident was bull shit and he had given me more than one opportunity to come clean but now he knew the truth right from the dogs mouth and I knew he would be pissed.

"Weston said that I could be saved, he thinks he can wash the whore off me I guess, he's got this magical idea that I am going to jump town with him, help him raise his Nazi kids, give him a few more,"

"He still bothering you?" Jax asked and Hap's presents beside me went for a 10 to a 20, he was sucking up all my oxygen, telling them this would be admitting that I was the damsel in distress they all thought I was.

"Only when no one is around, he's scared of something, says I'm on my last chance," I rolled my eyes one more time, but I wanted to open my mouth to gasp for air that I felt like was being stolen, the side of my face getting hot from his eyes. "He just wants me to be scared, that is his thing, intimidation. He's just a bitch," I didn't feel very tough but I tried to keep my words that way, the truth was the Weston had scared me, he was a creepy bastard, I slept with the door locked and watched my shadows making sure there wasn't another one following me.

"He's not going to be intimidating you anymore," Happy said from beside me, his voice deeper than it ever had been.

"You guys have already been in jail because of these fuckers! What are you going to do now?" I looked over at Happy because I didn't care what the other guys answers were, I wasn't talking to them anymore.

"We are going to kill them," Happy answered with conviction. "Every last one of them,"

"These guys aren't just gangsters, they have connections, plans! They are going to be waiting for you!" I told him, "Just like they were waiting on us,"

* * *

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I asked charging into the kitchen of Gemma and Clay's house where her and Tara were sitting.

"Had to be done," Gemma told me.

"If it had to be done, we should of told them when it happened, not lied about it for 3 months!" I yelled trying to get my point across.

"They didn't need to know until now!" she tapped out her cigarette, raising her voice,"The shit going down between Jax and Clay needed some healing,"

"So that's what this was to you? Another chest piece for you to move when you think the time is right!"

"Hey!" Tara yelled trying to break up our little conversation.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first, but it needed to happen," Gemma lowered the level of her voice and I sat down at the table.

"What is important is that both of you are alive," Tara added.

"For now, who knows what will come of this," Tara's phone rang and she stood up answering it.

"It's something that they've got to do," Gemma continued, "We can't let these assholes run our town,"

"I've got to go," Tara came running back into the kitchen.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"Tig needs me to look at his face," she told us.

"I'm riding with," I told the Dr. following her out the door leaving Gemma alone in the house.

"Does this shit ever settle down?" Tara questioned me while we were on our way to the club house.

"I'm not sure, it was for a while,"

"This Zobelle guy, he's not like the normal guys they deal with, he's smart," Tara knew it as well as I did, SAMCRO was going to have more trouble than they needed if they were really going to take them down.

"Jax said we are going to have to go on lock down," I hated lock down, it was a bunch of wired personalities stuck together in a small club house for far to long.

"That won't be good for anyone,"

"What happens?" she questioned, I forgot she had been gone for over 10 years.

"Zobelle will be the last of our problems, we'll rip each other apart first," I tried to laugh at the truth as we pulled into the lot, Half Sack was standing by the door waiting on us.

"He's in the back" Bobby said as we came into the club house and I sat down beside him instead of following Tara.

"Hey Darling," Bobby smiled at me like he hadn't been over at my house earlier in the morning.

"Long time no see," I grabbed a chip off the plate in front of him, "What happened to Tig?" I knew it couldn't of been that bad, no one around here was in to much of a panic.

"Disagreement," that was the only thing that he provided.

"What happened to Tig?" I asked again, not buying his bull.

"Him and Ope got into it, had to do with Donna," now he was telling me the truth, once Happy left I got most of my information from my brothers or Bobby, he was always willing to talk to me, he knew I would keep what I knew till the very end, that was one of the best parts of being raised in the club, my loyalty was never questioned and I was never tested. The club knew I wouldn't talk and so did the bad guys and cops. That's why the ATF bitch never really bothered me, she had rolled back into town recently and hadn't said so much as a boo in my direction.

"Where is Opie now?" I asked Bobby knowing Jax had been right, Tig and Clay had killed Donna, it was written all over Bobby's face.

"Not sure,"

"So what happens now?" I asked the curly haired man.

"We move forward, that is the only way we can go," Bobby choose his words carefully before opening his mouth again, "Shit with him and Vic are going good, one day he'll put Donna behind him, now that he knows the truth he can hopefully put an end to this chapter."

"And just forgive his club for killing his wife?" I looked at him confused as Clay came in the front door not even looking in our direction and walked straight through to Tig.

"I've got to go darling, see you later?" he asked me following Clay down the hall.

Juice came down the hall that the guys had just gone down and smiled at me.

"Hey Bow," he came up to me.

"Juice," I smiled back, "Give me a ride back to my car,"

* * *

"You don't need to check up on me everyday," Katie snapped at me, she was having a bad day, the Dr had started her on new medicine and it didn't seem to be doing much but cause her to be more of a bitch than usual.

"But why? You're such good company," I smiled at her setting a plate of food down in front of her.

"These damn pills," she calmed down realizing how she was acting, "I rather just be dead,"

"Don't say that," I looked at her firmly.

"You are one of the only reasons I fight to stay alive, and him," she was looking at the picture of us in the living room. "I want to get to hold my next grandchild, when you two pull your heads out of your asses and do this right," my heard dropped, after all these years I had never once thought about having another baby, especially with Happy.

"That's never going to happen," I told her.

"Well that is the only reason why I am staying alive, so I guess I'll live forever," she grabbed one of my hands and squeezed. "You two belong together baby, there is no sense in fighting it, life it too short, take it from me," her grasp on my hand wasn't the usual Katie grasp, usually she gripped so tight you thought your fingers were going to break, now I wouldn't of believed that she was holding it except I was looking right at it.

"Tomorrow I want you coming with us," I changed the subject, Vic had called earlier and confirmed that we were going on lock down tomorrow.

"I can't be around all those people," I knew she was telling the truth, her immune system was shot all those kids and dirty guys would probably do her in.

"Then I'll stay here with you," I looked into the familiar black eyes.

"No, you need to be there, make sure my boy is okay," she weakly smiled at me, "I'll be fine here, my sister is coming down to stay with me, she's decided to move her lazy ass in here, the perfect excuse for her to not get a job,"

"Jesus, what do you say about me when I'm not around?" I laughed at the tough ass woman.

"You're a good girl Bowie, even if you don't see it," she stood up, "Take care of my boy tomorrow, even if you don't want to," she didn't say anything else she just started towards her bedroom.

* * *

This was kind of a filler chapter, but now Happy knows about the beating. I wonder what that is going to look like once he confronts her about it personally.

I know that was a lot for Happy's POV but I feel like as quiet as he is that he would have a lot to say on the inside.

Let me know what you think? Do you think Happy's POV is something I should try to mix in more often?

Also the fact that I kind of made Lyla obsolete.


	12. Chapter 12

"Where are you?" was the first thing that I was asked as I answered the phone the following morning, my eyes squinting at how bright it was in the room that I was sleeping in unlike the usual darkness of my room.

"I'm fine," I told Vic, "I stayed at the shop last night," I had only landed at the house for 20 seconds last night before realizing I didn't want to stay there, I knew that none of the guys were going to be outside my house tonight, they were busy getting ready to do what they had to do for today. But if Happy did happen to be outside and realize I wasn't there hopefully he would of gone to Katie's and spent some time with her, convincing her to come on lock down with us.

"Why did you do that?" I scoffed at her before changing the subject.

"I'm going to run home to take a shower, then I'll be in," I hung up before she could say anything else.

I came out of the back room into the main part of the shop to get my things and leave before they sent out a search party and to my own displeasure I screamed at the sight in front of me. Weston was sitting at my desk, hands folded and the creepiest smile I had ever seen on anyone's face before.

"Don't scream yet, save that for later," the scariest part of him was that he was so sure everything he said would happen, he thought everything he wanted would come true.

"What are you doing here?" I backed up against the door that had just closed, behind me

"I saw you stayed her last night, knew you were trying to avoid the club," he stood up moving in half way to me, "Thought now would be the perfect time to give you that last chance, seems you've come to your senses," now looking back on it I should of stayed right at my house.

"There is no chance of that happening," I told him before his smile fell and he moved in even further.

"They know I'm here, they will be here soon," I tried to by myself some time, mentally preparing myself for what was about to happen, whatever it was I had a feeling it was going to be bloody, hopefully not on my part.

"That's great," his smile came back, "When they get here you can let them know about us," I swallowed the last bit of spit left in my mouth before trying to run around him my bare feet making padding noises on the tile floor.

"Don't run," the back of my shirt got pulled before he pushed me against one of the sinks on the wall, it slammed against my lower back and I knew there would be a bruise there within moments.

"I will never be with you, so you may as well kill me," my eyes narrowed in on what I wanted, my purse was sitting by my station, my gun was inside it, I didn't think I was going to punch my way out of this one.

He moved in on me again, pressing his dry lips to my neck, and the sound of buttons hitting the floor from my shirt he had just ripped open caused tears to fill my eyes, remembering that night with Gemma and what they had done to her.

"Don't cry, you've done this before," his buzz cut scratched under my neck as he moved his head up kissing right under my ear.

"Stop," I tried to sound stronger than I felt as I pushed him away and he barely moved, but he took his lips off me. "Get the fuck out of here," I pushed him again and he fell over the chair to the shampoo bowl behind him and I took off running again towards my station. I heard him growl behind me as I dumped the contents of my purse and just about bawled when I saw the gun was open and no longer had any bullets inside.

"Looking for these?" Weston held up a hand full of bullets that sick smile back on his face. "Didn't think I wouldn't check your bag?" he shoved me back against my station and my head hit the mirror behind me, glass shattered all over the floor but a large piece ended up behind my hand, almost like it was fate. "I saw that birth control in your purse, you weren't using that with the mix breed were you? Not planning on having any more of his mutts?"

That was the final straw, I grasped the glass with my hand, feeling it cut in a bit and warm blood running down my palm, but it was nothing I hadn't felt before. I stretched out the glass at him and he backed away the smile still on his face.

"I rather have a million babies with him than ever kiss you, his strong Mexican skin, that was almost my favorite part, except for the sex now that really was amazing," I bent at my knees and grabbed my car keys and wallet out of the pile of contents on the floor, still keeping the large glass held out.

"That was your last chance, race traitor," Weston growled but didn't move on me again. "Run to them, tell them what happened, let them know I'll be waiting,"

I backed out of the shop and ran to my car quickly locking the doors before starting the car, I could see Weston wrecking my shop through the windows as I pulled into reverse and squealed out of the parking spot letting my tears fall.

By the time I pulled into the lot I had calmed myself down a bit, I was shocked to see all the people there, it looked like ants at a picnic, I pulled up behind Jax and Tara and of course they had to stop in front of the door so I quickly drove around them and pulled into a parking spot beside Vic's car. I realized that my tank top was ripped wide open so it basically looked like I was in a lacy bra and a vest; and of course I was still barefoot.

I turned around looking in the back seat and I was glad to see that I had a hoodie in there,but no shoes. I quickly put it on before someone noticed me and hopped out of the car, putting my keys in my back pocket and headed towards the club house. Everyone inside was talking amongst themselves catching up with people they hadn't seen in a while, most of the charters were here and with that a lot of there women and kids. I actually hadn't realized there were that many little kids in our group until I looked around. They guys just kept having kids no matter how old they got, the women they had them with just kept getting younger.

"Hey," Tara came up beside me, Abel was in the car seat she was holding, and a large bag was on her other arm. I smiled down at Abel but that was all, I never had held him, and I probably wouldn't, it was something I couldn't force myself to do, it didn't seem right to hold another baby when I had never held mine.

"Hi," I smiled at her breaking contact with Abel.

"No shoes?" Vic asked looking me over, "I thought you were going to take a shower," the large dirty bun on top of my head showed I clearly hadn't done that.

"It's a part of my new hippie lifestyle," I tried to smile at her.

"The shower part too?" she asked laughing.

"Nah, I fell back asleep, didn't want to get locked out, didn't even bring a bag," I looked down at my empty hands. "You got some clothes you can spare?" she looked over my shoulder quickly and I turned to see who she was looking at Opie was standing close to Jax watching us, and smiling at her.

"Yeah, in Ope's room" she answered but didn't look back at me.

"Thanks...Mom," I laughed at her, but she didn't laugh back, her bottom lip quivered and she turned back away from me as Tig whistled and Clay stood up by the stripper pole to speak to us. I had heard the speech before about how we were a part of the SAMCRO family and how we were here to be kept safe, so the whole time I kept my eyes skimming the room, I didn't know what I was looking for until they landed on him, Happy was standing listening to what Clay was saying, it was one of the first times I could stare at him without him knowing it. His face held a scowl like it usually did, I could almost see the wheels in his brain running a mile a minute he was thinking about all the shit that was about to happen, what was about to go down. He would push himself closer to hell for the people standing in this room and most of them didn't think anything about it other than the fact that Happy should be feared. He was referred to as the Tacoma Killer to most of them but no one outside the inner circle realized everything he did he did for them. He turned his head away from Clay and at me and the wheels stopped and anger took over. He still hadn't spoken to me since he found out about what had really happened that night, I knew I could only avoid it for so long, it wasn't in Happy's nature to just let it go, he was going to have to get his 'I told you so' out. The crowd around me started cheering and music started back up, but all Happy did was stare, I didn't even think that he had noticed that Clay had stopped talking. I decided it was time to make a change in our Bowie and Happy story and started walking over towards him as everyone became occupied with themselves again.

"Get it over with Hap," I put my hands on my hips and he looked me over, from the top of my rats nest to the bottom of my tattooed bare feet. "Say what you've got to say,"

"Chapel," Clay yelled out across the sea of people.

"Not now Bowie," he went to walk around me and I grabbed his arm.

"Well then when? I don't feel like spending all week wondering when you're going to rub my face in it," He growled and grabbed my arm and led me to the door, the summer air hitting us as he stopped at the picnic table.

"Sit," he ordered but I kept standing crossing my arms over my chest. He laughed in an angry tone and shook his head, "Fine, what the fuck were you thinking Bow? Not only did that happen to you and Gemma but he's continued to bother you?!" He spoke with his hands when he was trying to prove a point he always had, "You could have been killed..." he ran his hands over his shaved head, "I should of never fucking left and this wouldn't of happened, you'd be.."

"This had nothing to do with you! I was in the wrong place at the wrong time," I was confused as to why he was taking this on as more than a club issue, I wasn't personally attacked because of him.

"Don't you get it! Don't you see this shit!" He raised his voice, "All this shit happened to you because of me! You would of left Charming when you were 18 if I could of kept my hands off you, but now you're stuck and vulnerable to all this shit!" I wasn't expecting all this shit to come out of his mouth I expected him to tell me I was an idiot and that I better not lie to him again.

"Hap," Jax put his head out of the club door before I could say anything else. "Chapel, come on,"

Happy looked at me for a few more seconds before following Jax through the door.

* * *

"How did you manage to get here with no clothes..or shoes?" Kozik asked once we got to my house, Piney had made him come with me to collect my things, Half Sack was with Tara and Gemma who was out running errands, we had already run out of beer and it was barely 3 PM.

"I slept in late, didn't want you guys rushing the town thinking I was taken or some shit,"

"Okay," Kozik smiled, "That's the first time you've ever cared about us having to come find you," he sat down on my couch.

"Sargent huh?" I asked reading Kozik's patches, "The bullet blocker,"

"Something like that," he didn't seem like his usual self, something was eating him.

"Talk Koz, what's wrong?" I sat down beside him looking at his spiky blonde hair.

"I think I just miss it here, I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything in Tacoma, especially with Happy gone Nomad, we had those Charming roots in common, now I don't feel like I have anything keeping me there,"

"Come home then," It seemed simple to me, "Ask for a transfer, I'm sure Tacoma won't mind, there is about a thousand of you! You know Charming will vote you in,"

"That ends on Tig," Kozik said, "It's got to be unanimous," I rolled my eyes trying to keep from laughing.

"He can't still be pissed about a damn dog,"

"He is," Kozik shook his head.

"She got off her leash, she got run over, that's the end of it, hell it's not like you shot her,"

"He's not going to vote me in,"

"Koz, just be a hang around forever then! They aren't going to keep you out of club shit you know that!"

"I'm not going to take the bitch move,"

"I would," I ruffled his hair, "Let me get my shit,"

I couldn't help but laugh at what I was wearing in the mirror, I was curvier than Vic so her jeans were probably the tightest things I had ever worn, and her t-shirt hadn't even started to fit so I had jacked one of Opie's and our height difference was hilarious, the shirt was down to my knees in the back and I had it tucked into the front. I looked like a crazy person basically.

I started digging in the closet for an overnight bag, it wasn't really anything I owned now that I was an adult but I found a backpack I had used in high school on the top shelf of the closet. I was surprise d that the bag was heavy when I took it down and I opened it confused. But I couldn't help from gasping when I unzipped it, I had completely forgotten I had put some things in that bag to keep hidden from myself and everyone else. At the top of the bag was a pink onesie, it had the Sons Of Anarchy design on it much like Abel's hat, Gemma had given it to me when we found out I was having a girl, mostly as a joke to Happy who was almost distraught at the color his Club's mascot was on. Underneath that was a lavender bunny stuffed animal that had just shown up in her freshly painted nursery. I had always thought Happy had put it in there even though he swore he hadn't. There was a few framed pictures in the bag of us that I had printed off my phone and framed and the one that was in Katie's house. Underneath that was three pieces of paper, Harper's birth and death certificate and an acceptance letter to Berkeley from my senior year of high school, I had never gone because I didn't want to leave Charming, I would miss everyone too much. I remembered getting the letter and showing everyone in the club about how excited I was to get accepted to the only school I had applied to, I had one mission when I was younger, make something of myself other than an old lady with an arm full of kids, but when push came to shove I didn't go, I stayed in town settled down with Happy and attended cosmetology a town over.

"Hey," Kozik was standing in the doorway of the room, "What's wrong?" he asked coming to sit by me. I hadn't even realized I was crying until he brought attention to it, now I could feel the trail the hot tears had left behind. He looked at the contents of the bag and picked up the death certificate, reading it before looking at me.

"He misses her too," he put the paper back down, "I was there when he landed in Tacoma, he was scary, he would fight anyone that looked twice at him, hell I think he shot a few people for asking him a question; But mostly he was broken, a shell of the person he had become with you, that guy was never seen again. You and her were the best part of him Bow, when he lost you both he stopped caring drank himself half to death every night,"

I stopped him from saying anything else, Piney had told me the same sob story, "He's the one who left me, don't forget that," I stood up putting the things from the bag back in the closet and started packing a few days worth of clothes.

"I love you Bow, and I just want to see you happy,"

"I was! Until he came back into town!" I snapped turning to look at him.

"But were you really? There is no shame in having a weak moment, being with him, If it makes you happy, then you should do that,"

"Nothing makes me happy, I run through this god damn life like I'm in auto pilot ever since her!" I slammed my dresser drawer shut taking a deep breath. "I'm not alive anymore Kozik! I died that day, the Bowie everyone knows is in that box six feet under!"

"I see you with him! During the run! Watching him today, I see that same Bowie flash in your eyes, god damn I love you, but you two are the cause of your misery right now!"

I didn't know what else to say to him so I just watched him, he was waiting on me to react but I couldn't the truth had just slapped me in the face,

* * *

"Where the hell are they?" Tara asked, her, Gemma, Vic and I were the only ones up, the guys had left at 9 and it was almost 3 AM.

"They'll be here," Gemma tried to assure all of us, we were sitting at a round table, a card game long since forgotten in front of us. You could almost hear the beat of all of our hearts, the guys we loved, my brothers, were out there going against two guys who seemed impossible to take down. Each one of us kept the whole club on our mind, they worked as a unit, but ultimately we wouldn't rest until we saw a particular face, I wouldn't of hated to admit who mine was, but I kept looking at the door waiting for him to come in.

"I hate this," Vic said taking her turn to look at the door.

Gemma's phone started ringing and we all jumped and held our breath while she picked it up. "It's Clay," she said before flipping it open.

"You all whole?" She asked before letting out a deep breath, "Thank god, yeah we'll be there," they kept talking a little longer but I just looked over the women's faces around the table, all of them had a matching smile knowing their men were okay.

"You guys are coming with me, Bowie, stay here, Tacoma is coming back here,"

"Where are you guys going?" I asked her standing up with the rest of them.

"Police station, Zobelle and Weston got picked up, make sure all of them are okay," Gemma ordered as her heels clicked against the floor and the other two followed her.

10 minutes after Gemma and the girls flew out of the door it slammed back open and a few Tacoma guys came in, bruised but basically whole, they looked more pissed than hurt; Kozik and Happy were bringing up the rear, Kozik had a busted eyebrow and lip but he had a smile on his face about whatever him and Happy were talking about. Happy wasn't smiling back, whatever happened he was pissed, very pissed, he was walking so stiffly you would of thought he was made of iron, his knuckles were bruised and swollen but that was the only thing different about him except for the black cloud around him; Kozik came up and kissed my temple, the chain of Hap's wallet jingled as he slammed past us, heading into the kitchen.

"He needs you," Kozik said, smiling down at me, "I think his head is about to explode,"

In the back of my mind I heard Katie asking me to take care of Happy, but I knew that wasn't why I started walking.

"Yeah," I agreed not knowing what I was agreeing too. Kozik headed towards the chapel with the rest of them and I quietly walked to the kitchen. Happy had his back to the door, he had a water bottle in his hand that he was gripping so tightly it was bent in the middle. His fists look worse up close, his right hand looked like it was shredded to pieces; whoever or whatever he had hit was hard, his rings were probably swollen to his fingers.

"Rough night?" I asked him, not knowing what else to say. He turned towards me and I knew it was my mind playing tricks on me but it looked like his eyes were completely black, no white left in them.

"Your shop is wrecked," he said through gritted teeth before throwing the bottle against the wall, liquid splashing over everything. "That bastard slipped out of our fingers," I knew he was talking about Weston. I didn't say anything I figured my shop would be wrecked when I had left Weston in it this morning. I went to the freezer and grabbed a bag of frozen peas putting it in one arm and walking over to Happy grabbing his hand and pulling him with me.

"I should of protected you, this never should of happened," he kept talking while I led him to his bedroom. "I am going to kill that mother fucker, bring him back to life and kill him again," he growled getting angrier with every step. When we got to his bedroom I opened the door and pushed him over towards the bed.

"Stop talking," I warned him sitting on the bed, grabbing his hands and putting the ice pack on his knuckles. "There was nothing anyone could do to protect me, I'm not made of glass Hap," he sucked in a breath and I looked at his face, tears were swelling in his eyes and my heart broke. "Come here," I ordered him leaning back against his head board. He growled again sucking back his angry tears before he laid down beside me, resting his head on my stomach and I put the ice pack on his hand rubbing the back of his shaved head, "You need to calm down,"

"I'm sorry," he muttered shutting his eyes and wiggling his head further into my ribs.

"This isn't on you Hap,"

"I feel like everything that happens to you is on me," he sat up to look me in the eyes.

"I make my own decisions Hap and I'm great at finding trouble, I was way before you ever came into the picture," he opened his mouth to say something else and I stopped him, I tugged at the back of his cut until he let the wholes fall down his arms and he was in his t-shirt.

"Shh," I said when he tried to say something else, I kicked my converses off and leaned over tugging off his boots before laying back down, this time my head on the pillow, "Lets just go to sleep," he got up and I thought he was going to leave but he walked over to the light switch, turned it off and the weight of the bed shifted a moment later, his head was back on my chest and I put the ice pack on the hand I knew was so bad that was laying on my hip.

* * *

At the beginning of this chapter I thought...what about if I made her fall in love with Weston...lmfao wouldn't that be a mind fuck?! Is there even Weston fics?

What do you think? That was a little cozy wasn't it? Where does this take them tomorrow?

Let me know!

It's the work week again...blahh, so I probably will be slow on the updates. I know this chapter is kind of long and I thought about breaking it into two chapters to have more updates but I couldn't find a place where it made sense to end it.

I don't own anything SAMCRO

-Bailey


	13. Chapter 13

When I woke up in the morning and Happy wasn't beside me I wasn't sure if it had been a dream or a nightmare last night; but the spot beside me was still warm and the comforter on that side was made with all the wrinkles flatten out, Happy hated messy.

I put my arm over my eyes hoping to go back to sleep but I knew it wouldn't do any good, the bed smelled too much like Happy, mint, gun oil and something I could never figure out, it was just him.

When I got to the main part of the room I wandered past all the people to the stand where I knew there would be coffee.

"Morning Doll," one of the new crow eaters said to me as I poured myself some coffee, "I could of got that for you,"

I laughed a little, "Oh, I'm not an old lady, thank you tho,"

"Sorry," her face fell, "That's not what I had heard," I gave her a confused look.

"What have you heard?" I smiled so she would think it was normal that I was asking.

"Heard you belonged to that scary one, with the smiley faces," she nodded her head over at where Kozik,Piney and Happy were sitting, plates were in front of each one of them and they were laughing shoveling food into their mouths.

"Nope, it's not ," I held my cup up to her and smiled before starting over towards there table.

"Morning Beautiful," Kozik smiled at me and then his face fell as he jumped liked something had hit him under the table.

"Heard from the guys?" I asked sitting down between Happy and Kozik.

"Yeah," Piney answered, "At the police station, waiting to see what happens to those scum bags,"

"Pops?" Ellie came up beside her grandfather, looking at him her blue eyes still heavy with sleep, she was a complete carbon copy of Opie when he was little, from her light hair to her round little cheeks, "Is there any cereal?"

"Where is Mary?" Piney asked the girl, clearly trying to blow her off, Piney wasn't a morning person especially before he finished eating.

"Still asleep," the little girl countered.

"I'll get you some Elle," I left my coffee cup on the table and stood up, two guys started yelling at each other in the corner, and jumped her, she just about ran her head into my hip bone to get to me, her little pink nightgown was to her knees, and the calf that was showing below that was just about shaking in fear. "Come on," I smiled at her holding out my hand.

"Go with your Aunt, she'll get you some food," Piney grunted at his granddaughter.

We held hands and walked to the kitchen, she held on tighter as we walked by the guys who were yelling a moment ago and now were sitting at the table talking like nothing happened.

"When can we go home?" Elle asked me when we got into the kitchen, and I started pulling down a box of cereal.

"I'm not sure, it's fun staying here tho, it's like a big sleep over!" I tried to be positive for her. Donna used to kid around that Elle was the new generation of my life, she was the only girl, stuck with all the boys, she was sarcastic and tough willed, she had been since she was a baby, she was going to be a tough ass woman when she grew up and I was glad I would get to watch it, especially when she started giving Opie real hell. If her big blue eyes and mischievous smirk were any sign it was going to be a wild ride.

"No, not really," she answered truthfully and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Kenny up yet?" she nodded her head and I pulled down three bowls and started filling them.

We walked back out towards the tables and Elle hopped all the way over to where her brother was sitting looking as tired as I felt and sat down beside him with her bowl and he rubbed his eyes looking at her food. He turned in the direction that she had just come from and saw me carrying two bowls and his eyes lit up.

"Thank you," he smiled when I put the bowl in front of him.

"You're welcome, your dad should be back soon!" I told them both leaving them to eat with the other little kids around and heading back towards the table I was at.

"Are those lucky charms?" Kozik asked when I sat back down, staring into my bowl.

"Yes, is that a problem?" I questioned him before taking a big bite smiling at him.

"God, why didn't you just stay at the kids table," he joked before grabbing a marshmallow out of the bowl.

"What is this? Good Morning America with Bowie and Kozik?" Piney asked and we all started laughing, except for Happy of course.

"Hi," Happy came up beside me while I was washing mine and Opie's kid's bowls.

"Hi," I looked over at him confused.

"Once you're done here, get ready, I want to go by your shop," he grabbed one of the bowls I had just finished washing and started drying it.

"Why?" I asked not sure what we were going to find when we got there.

"Want to make sure it's safe before you go back there on your own,"

"I'm sure its..." I started to tell him that everything would be fine but he cut me off.

"I wasn't asking," he put the bowl where it belonged and walked away.

* * *

"I'll go in first," Happy said once we got off the bike beside the shop.

"Happy, nothing is going to happen,"

"Stay here," he ordered me for the second time that day, I rolled my eyes when he turned his back going through the busted down door and I followed behind him.

"Oh my god," I muttered pushing past him when I saw the wreckage Weston had caused. Nothing was attached the the walls anymore, sinks, stations, desks, chairs, everything was on the shop floor, glass and porcelain everywhere, all four glass window fronts were shattered as well.

"Be careful," he warned looking around the shop, I wanted to find Weston and kill him myself, we would never have enough money to put all this back together and of course there would be no proof that he did it.

"Those cameras work?" Happy asked looking around the ceiling.

"Of course not!" I snapped, "That bastard," and the second it left my mouth I knew I had made a mistake, it was confirmed as the tattooed man stepped in front of me.

"You know it was him?" he asked starting to look at the room in a whole new way. I didn't answer him, starting towards the contents of my purse that had been spilled yesterday morning. I bent over and started shoving the stuff in the abandoned purse.

"What is that?" Happy asked coming over and I stood up to look at him.

"What?" I asked, scanning the floor looking for what he was talking about. He reached out grabbing the bottom of my shirt and lifting it till my belly button was exposed, looking at my back.

"Where did you get that huge bruise?" he asked running his calloused hands over my lower back leaving goosebumps.

"I don't know I hit into something,"

"Cut the shit," his raspy voice.

"I hit it against the sink," I told him honestly. He narrowed his eyes at me staring me down, daring me to lie to him, but I kept my cool, I wasn't lying, I just wasn't telling him the complete truth. I knew the truth was the last thing Happy needed after seeing him yesterday and how pissed he was, that anger was sitting just underneath the surface of his tan skin just waiting to seep out. There was no telling what he was going to do, and he was already out on bail, on a shop there was no way I could afford to fix.

"I don't get why you keep lying to me!" okay so he'd use that anger on me, his white teeth were gripped together so tight in the front I thought they might break, "I can't keep you alive when you LIE!"

"I don't need protecting Happy I'm a grown ass woman!"

"And that is why you got KIDNAPPED! CHAINED UP! HAD THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU!" his voice was intimidating at normal levels let alone when he was using all the power in his body to make sure his voice got his point a crossed.

The rumble of bikes drew both of our attention away from the shop and argument as a sea of Mayans went by stopping in the spots in front of my shop and Zobelle's.

"This isn't over," he hissed as he walked to the front as SAMCRO followed behind parking on the other side of the street, cop cars filled the empty space in between.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked him standing beside him looking out the glassless holes.

"Come on," he turned to look at the shop one last time before squinting his eyes at something and back tracking, he walked over towards a large shard of glass, picking it up with his gloved hand. "There is blood on this, give it to the cops, it should point to Weston,"

"No," I shook my head knowing exactly what that piece was, the blood was from the cut in my hand I had put a bandage on after my shower yesterday. "It's my blood," Happy growled one my time slamming the glass down and stomped out the window hole towards his club, me hot on his heels.

"What are you doing here?" Clay asked as we walked up.

"Her shop got trashed, was making sure it wasn't a trap," Happy answered for me, "Go sit on my bike," he ordered and I did what he said, I already knew he was mad enough to tear my skin off at this point. No one in the club said anything, they were just having a staring contest with the Mayans across the street from us and all I could look at was my ruined shop, I never really thought that Weston would destroy it like it was, I thought maybe he'd break some mirrors, write a threatening letter in blood that kind of shit, nothing like what he had done, I knew he would die by the hands of the club, but at this point I was willing to do it myself.

"He'll die," I jumped as Jax came up beside me, I hadn't even realized he had walked over in my trance watching the shop. "Today,"

"Make sure it's painful," I said through gritted teeth.

* * *

I had rode back to the club house with Happy and most of SAMCRO was also back with us, but I noticed that Jax and Opie were missing and I got nervous, Weston was a lot smarter than they gave him credit for, so far that Nazi bastard had made every move almost seamlessly, he was always 2 steps ahead of everything that was happening around him.

"Where are they?" Vic was setting at a small round table with me bouncing her foot up and down causing us both to shake.

"They'll be back," I tried to assure her but I wasn't too sure myself. Happy was standing around the bar with the others drinking tequila shots, by all of their stances I could tell they were as nervous as Vic and I were and that is what made it worse, when guys like them were shook up you knew shit was bad; they weren't supposed to be rocked, they were supposed to be solid but the lack of talking and the amount of drinking was noticed by everyone around.

The front door flew open and Jax, Opie and Chibs came in looking somber.

"It's done," Jax nodded his head at Clay and Happy walked up to him.

"I'm so proud of you," he tapped Jax's back, Happy was a whole new man instantly, it was like I watched weight come off his shoulders. I wondered if it was the fact that Weston was dead or the fact that he didn't have to kill him that relieved him most.

After the guys embraced Jax they all got another shot holding it up.

"Sons!" they all repeated after the other, Vic was hanging off Opie her head into the shoulder of that arm that wasn't held up and after they took down the shot Jax came over to me.

"He won't be bothering you anymore," he said as smoothly as butter, what he had done hadn't effected him in the slightest, he was completely at peace with Weston's death, and I knew that seeing how he was calmed me as well, I wouldn't have that nagging voice inside me saying that a part of Jax was haunted to defend me and Gemma.

"What now?" Chibs asked Clay pouring himself another shot.

"Now we wait on Zobelle," Clay answered and all of the guys nodded at their president's words.

They didn't have to wait long, half an hour after Jax got back Clay got a call and all of the guys came out of the Chapel, some of them wearing bullet proof vests, and shot guns in their hand. Nerves took over my whole body, I wasn't sure how they were going to get Zobelle, but I knew it wasn't going to be good, or safe. Happy's face was stone, completely concentrating on the task at hand and it was enough to make me puke, thinking about something happening to him.

"Hap!" my mouth opened and the words came out before my brain even knew what she was saying; he kept walking out the door not stopping at my words and I yelled to him again, following in his footsteps towards one of Unser's trucks.

"HAPPY LOWMAN!" I yelled louder this time and Piney tapped his back and he stopped walking turning towards me. I walked up towards him, putting my cut hand against his chest where I knew a snake tattoo was coiled around "Come back to me," those words almost made me throw up as well. He looked at me confused for a moment before the corners of his lips turned up in the slightest bit.

"Will do," he turned and walked away from me getting in the back of the truck.

"A witness came by," Unser came up behind me while I watched the guys leave, "Said they saw AJ Weston wrecking your shop," I wasn't sure why he was telling me that, it didn't matter now, Weston was dead. "A report would help you collect the insurance money,"

"And if Weston doesn't turn himself in?" I asked the cop knowing he knew about Weston, Unser usually knew everything going on in Charming, on both sides of the law.

"The way I see it, he bailed before he got pulled in for vandalism, he's just avoiding the law," he leaned in and kissed my cheek as his truck turned the corner of the lot.

"I don't think I can do this," Vic said as I got up to the picnic tables in front of the club house, she was the only one outside.

"Do what?" I questioned sitting down across from her, her eyes were glossy from tears and she was paler than she usually was, her white blonde hair making it look even worse.

"Be with Opie," she sniffled biting her bottom lip, " I can't take this shit, I had always seen it, but now I'm living it, wondering if my man is going to come home every night,"

"It's hard," I agreed with her, "But you and Opie, it seems to be going good, I know your ass has always liked him," I tried to cheer her up smiling even though it really wasn't sincere, all I could think about was the guys I loved out there with their life on the line.

"That's the fucked up part, I really like him,"

"Then you learn to live with this shit, it just becomes a part of what he does eventually you won't even think twice about it," I knew from experience, the more I was face to face with the shit Happy did the less it really effected me, the part that bothered me most was how he dealt with it, the long term effects on him. I had always wondered what kind of shit that did to him on the inside, it was something he never seemed to show. But that thick skin he kept on, I couldn't help but think it was to keep the shit trapped in, not the world out.

"I'm pregnant," she said, sniffling a few more times before the tears really started rolling, down her face, and her breathing got heavy, "And I'm scared!"

"Vic," I said feeling my tears starting too by how upset my best friend was I guess it was true you cry I cry and all that shit. "How long?" I questioned her.

"8 weeks," she put her head on my shoulder sobbing into it.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I questioned looking down at her.

"I didn't know how you'd take it...with Harper and all," she sucked back some tears and looked up at me.

"I'll take it like my best friend and brother are having a baby together, happy but completely disgusted," I laughed and could of cried tears of relief when she did too.

"Don't ever be afraid to tell me something like that," I assured her.

"He's a great lay!" she laughed smiling.

"We got a lot of cleaning up in our future," I told her after we had both calmed down, "Weston wrecked our shop,"

"I heard," she rolled her eyes, "I say we see if these fuckers are going to skip out on bail before we clean up,"

"Nice try," I said to her lazy ass, she would do anything to get out of cleaning.

We sat outside joking around trying to keep our mind off of what was going on out where ever the guys were before Kozik and the rest of Tacoma came running out of the club house and both of our hearts were beating so loud the other could hear it.

"What happened?" I yelled to him standing up so fast I thought the picnic table would flip.

"Guys are fine!" he yelled not looking at me, "Irish took Abel!"

* * *

And we're in season 3 ladies and gentlemen!

Let me know what you think about this chapter, are Happy and Bowie finally getting their shit together.

Vic and Opie are going to have a baby? Am I twisted enough to actually kill Opie when the time comes?

I am having an everlasting trouble with the fact that I want to keep Kozik alive as well, he was one of my favorite, I thought he was hilarious.

-Bailey


	14. Chapter 14

"And he just took the boy and left?" Katie Lowman asked, I knew Hap would be out trying to find Abel so I headed over as soon as they started letting people from the club house leave a few days after Abel was taken.

"Yeah, killed the prospect, tied up Tara and left with Abel,"

"And Gemma is in the wind?" Katie just shook her head.

"Apparently, Tig left this morning to go watch her,"

"Jesus," she muttered snubbing out her cigarette, "How could she let him leave with that baby?" Katie had her judgment face on, and it would of caused me to laugh if I hadn't of thought the same thing when I heard.

"Don't think she had much of a choice," that was the only conclusion I had come up with.

"Yes, she did...if that was my kid that Irish asshole would have had to knife a hole through me and blow my brains out to get to my baby," I stood up to pour us some drinks not wanting to completely agree with Katie, I didn't know the situation she was in, I wasn't there.

"How did Gemma take it? Can't believe she didn't rip that bimbo's head off, if it was my grandkid.."

"Something different happened to yours, and Gemma doesn't know he's gone,"

"Jesus you guys are in a shit storm,"

"Not me, your son and his brothers,"

"Baby you've been involved since day one, you get deeper in everyday,"

"Yeah," I put two cups down on the table before sitting back down, "I know, and one day I'm going to drown in it,"

"Happy won't let you," My phone started ringing from my purse and I knew it couldn't be anything good.

"Grab a broom," I said to Tara as she walked into what was left of the shop her eyes were swollen and her face held no emotion at all. I was surprised when my phone call had been her, apparently something happened between her and Jax when the club came to collect him this morning.

"Jesus, what happened?" She asked looking around the shop.

"Life," I said looking around the shop as well, Kozik had came over the other day with one of Unser's trucks to help collect all of the porcelain from the sinks and larger pieces, so now we really only had debris covering every spot on the floor and stuff we could handle to care of.

"What is she doing here?" Vic asked stepping in through the open hole that used to be the window. I heard Tara suck back a breath at her words and I gave my best friend a confused look.

"Come with me," I ordered her dropping my broom and walking towards the small room in the back we had used as a break room. "We'll be right back," I said to Tara asking her not to leave with my eyes.

"What?" Vic snapped shutting the door behind her and put her hands on her hips. "She shouldn't be here,"

"And why is that?" I asked her crossing my arms over my chest.

"She just let that guy take Abel!" She raised her voice shifting her weight to her other foot.

"We don't know what happened," I told her, knowing I had to tell myself the same thing that when she called me saying her and Jax had a fight and he tried to break it off with her. "We weren't there,"

"What we know is that she let some guy leave with her boyfriends baby, she somehow got unscathed,"

"That's unfair, you know Abel is her son too! Lord knows fucking Wendy isn't going to come back for him!"

"I don't think she knows that, If it was you or I, we'd be getting buried with the prospect tonight, we would of died before that happened,"

"Maybe she froze up!" I yelled, "We don't know what we'd do till we were in the moment, someone was threatening to kill her! We all act big and bad but we don't know what would happen," I do, it's like she said, we'd die.

"Well now Jax's child could be dead! How is he going to deal with that?! How are we supposed to look at her?"

"I've been the cause of a dead baby too, somehow you all look at me," I spit out the words like lava, all this shit with Abel was really stirring up something inside me.

"That's different, you couldn't change that,"

"We don't know that! If something happens to Abel, he is going to need Tara,"

"If he goes off the deep end, like his sister did," her eyes had tears behind them, she had been close to Jax almost her whole life just like me, seeing him hurt hurt us too. "He's going to need her to pull him back in," she remembered what I was like after Harper, it wasn't a pretty picture, it took just about an act of congress to get me back to my normal self, and even three years later I wasn't ;I was just playing the part; going through the motions.

"Until then, it isn't our place to hang Tara up on the cross, she's the same girl as last week," Vic nodded her head in agreement, she knew I was right; until someone found out where Abel is we were all sitting ducks. Tara was still sweeping when we got out in the shop again, Vic instantly went up to her and hugged her, whispering in her ear what I hoped was an apology.

"Can we get back to cleaning now?" I laughed at the women, picking up my broom, at this point I wasn't sure if I was going to sweep the floor or ride away on it to another part of the country.

"Who did this?" Tara asked after they let go of each other, she still looked shocked by the state of the place, I had to look at it a few times to get used to it when I first saw too.

"Some woman came by the shop when it was happening said it was Weston," Vic filled Tara in.

We had been sweeping in silence for what seemed like hours before Vic spoke up, "Let's go get something to eat," she looked around the shop that still looked like shit, "It's not getting any better," We all agreed and collected our things setting the brooms against the wall. "Want me to lock up?" Vic asked and Tara and I turned towards her we didn't even have a front door to lock.

"Fuck you," I laughed and the other two joined in, it was the first time today that felt normal, even if it was only going to last for thirty seconds, the moment we would go out onto the sidewalk it would be over.

"My favorite girls," Don came up to our booth at the Diner, he had owned the place since before either of us were born, that was how Vic became set up in the club, the guys used to meet here before the club house was built, JT, Piney, my Dad and Don had spent their early 20's and 30's together, bouncing their thoughts off each other, learning how to be the men they are; then JT went out on 18 and my dad passed away 7 years ago, Piney and Don were really the only ones hanging on. Don was an attractive old guy, I used to have a crush on him when I was younger, I had thought he was a more attractive version of Uncle Jesse from Full House, that was the mind set I was in at 10; looking for bikers even then. Don had always rode a Dyna, but he never patched in, I doubt they would of even make him Prospect, he had been keeping their secrets and helping them with shit for the past 40 years.

"Dad, you only have one daughter," Vic laughed at her Dad as he slid in beside her.

"How you doing Darling?" He asked reaching out and grabbing one of Tara's hands, Piney kept him in the know of everything.

"Been better," she answered Don.

"Keep your head up beautiful," he winked at her, a smirk spreading across his face, "God's got a plan for everything," Someone yelled his name across the restaurant, and he stood up kissing his daughter on the cheek and giving me one on the temple.

"What the hell was that?" I had never heard Don talking about church of any kind, he would talk to you about anything else, especially all the girls in Charming he had slept with, which was most of the women over 35, but never God's plan.

"He's fucking some girl he met outside a church," Vic shrugged her shoulder looking at the menu like it had changed since the 70s.

"What was he doing there?" I asked laughing putting a straw down in my coke.

"Looking for a girl to fuck I guess," I just shook my head, the waitress came up to take our order.

* * *

There wasn't even a parking spot when I pulled up to Half Sack's wake, I pulled up behind SAMCRO's bikes, blocking half of them in.

"Hey," Hale came up behind to my car when I got out, "How's Jax doing?" I looked at the cop like he had two heads growing off his shoulders.

"His son is missing, and the cops aren't doing shit to find him," I slammed my door shut, "How do you think he's doing,"

"We are doing all we can with the information we've got," Hale looked ashamed as he said those words, he was a good cop and a great guy, and him being just as stuck in this shit as the rest of us bothered him on a personal and professional level, that I knew for sure.

"Do more," Vic pulled up in front of me blocking the rest of the guys in and I pushed past Hale and towards her.

"Ready?" she asked me getting out of the car and fixing her black dress.

"Never," I said to her truthfully and she held a hand out to me, squeezing my hand.

"At least black is a good color on both of us, we seem to stay in it lately,"

"Yeah, two funerals in the last 6 months,"

The guys were standing out on the lawn in front of the building, huddled in a circle talking amongst themselves, none of them were standing at their usual height or strength, the Sons of Anarchy were having a tough run.

"Where is Gemma when you need her?" she was looking at them too. "Opie isn't taking this well, another death, Donna still hasn't left, now Half Sack," I stopped watching the back of a certain cut, the one I could never help myself but to mentally find. We hadn't seen each other since I had followed him out of the club house, yelling his name in front of the whole club.

Cops were littering the other side of the street across from the lawn they were all gathered on, and there were more town people here than there was at a usual town meeting, Juice saw us walking over and smiled at us both.

"What happened there?" I asked her knowing she saw Juice too.

"I guess I decided I didn't want to be a crow eater anymore," she looked over at me.

"Ate enough?" I had always laughed at the name the whores in the club had chose, but it had stuck, most of them even had branded themselves with the bird in some form or another; even Gemma had a crow tattooed on her chest.

"That's good," Vic was looking over towards the door changing the subject and I followed her eyes, Tara and Jax were walking arm in arm and I couldn't help but smile, I liked them together, Jax deserved something good in all of this, I just didn't know how we all were going to get right with her letting the Irish guy walk away; no matter how many times I defended Tara I had the same thoughts running through my head as the others.

"Yeah, he's going to need her," Opie came up to us giving Vic a quick kiss, "I'll see you in there," I said continuing to walk not feeling like being the third wheel. It was hotter in the building then it was outside in the California heat, there were too many people covering every inch of the floor to keep the building cool.

"Hey my love," Piney came up beside me wrapping his arm with mine. "Come with an old man to say his goodbyes?" he questioned and I nodded walking with him towards the room.

"How did this get so messed up? Who takes a baby?" I asked while we waited for the line in front of us to say their peace.

"Shit gets twisted Darling, when the law gets involved," I knew the story, Tara had filled us in at lunch; Gemma was on the run because of Stahl's lying ass. We made it to the front of the room, and Piney shut his eyes saying his final words to Half Sack and I shut my eyes like I knew what I was going to say as well, I did this every time we had a club member go down, mine and Jax's father included, what would their life been like if they hadn't been in the club? If they had made a different choice, a new life path, what would Jax, Opie and I be like if our fathers weren't who they were. Half Sack had died to save Abel, but Abel was still gone, his death was a senseless one, but an honorable one, Half Sack would always be a great memory in our hearts, his curly blonde hair and his sense of humor he was a shift, a change up in the guys that were usually involved in the club. Abel would never get to know the guy that saved his life.

I opened one eye to see Piney watching me and I couldn't help but smirk at him, even in the situation we were in, it made me uncomfortable and I didn't know how to act right.

"That seems to be going well," Piney smiled over at Vic and Opie, who were holding onto each other standing and talking to the rest of the club.

"They're cute aren't they?" I smiled at my friend, glad to see she was finally with someone for more than a night or two.

"She's a real good girl, really stepped up with the kids,"

"She had loved him since we were kids," I admitted to the old man.

"I loved my daughter in law," No one really spoke about Donna anymore, it was a sore subject, especially after it had come out to Opie that Clay and Tig were behind it, it knocked us back in our place, just because we were the women surrounding SAMCRO didn't mean we couldn't be thrown on the chopping block at any moment. "But I'm glad he fell into Victoria's arms, keep a settled home for his kids,"

"Yeah, I'm glad she did too," I agreed, we started walking out in the air, getting out of the oven the building was becoming every moment.

"All your friends are settling down Darling, you next?" He asked looking out at Happy who was standing in the yard talking to some of the Tacoma guys.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you setting me up," I changed the subject, "Making me come on that run with you so you could leave me up there with him,"

"Call it the desperate act of a dying old man," his laughed echoed through the yard as he walked away from me leaving me standing alone, I didn't need to turn around to know that they guys were coming out of the building the way the crowd around us turned, showing respect. Piney's laugh didn't last long in my head, it filled with the sound of bullets, it felt like there were millions of them but I knew that wasn't possible, they just kept coming and I froze in fear and confusion, people screaming and dropping to the ground all around me before I hit the ground too, a familiar smell filtering into my nose, face down against the ground being shot at and all I could smell was Happy and mint, his weight was holding me down; blocking me from getting hit with the bullets that were bouncing off everything. Everything went completely silent once the bullets stopped, but that only lasted for a moment as Happy and I got off the ground and I instantly grabbed his rough hand not knowing what else to do, the scene around us was terrifying; one of the men who had shot at us was standing in the middle of the street police guns held on him and Hale's deformed body was laying in the street. A woman beside us started screaming, the hands she held against a small boy in her arms were covered in blood and I couldn't look away, tears instantly filled my eyes as she cried for her son, begging anybody to tell her that he was okay; no one came to her, we all knew that the boy was gone as she kept crying out and the tears in my eyes streamed down my face as I gripped Happy's hand even tighter, keeping him with me, the woman's voice started shifting in my brain and it wasn't her crying for her baby anymore, it was me crying for Harper that day in the hospital after Happy left, begging anyone to tell me that it was all a sick joke and my baby girl was fine. Yelling knocked me out of my trance and I followed the sound of the noise and saw Jax down on the road beating the shit out of the guy who had been one of the shooters and I dropped Happy's hand.

"Go stop him," I yelled but he didn't move, "Happy," I started towards Jax before being stopped by him.

"There are 100 patches watching him right now," Happy said into my ears, I knew me pulling him off that guy wouldn't look good, a woman trying to tell him what to do. Finally when the guy was knocking on death's door and his face was no longer recognizable Clay and Bobby pulled Jax off the guy and the cops held their guns out at Jax, knowing the guy on the ground wasn't going to move.

"What are they doing?" I asked when Eglee put cuffs on Jax.

"Come on, I'm taking you home," I scanned the crowd till I met eyes with Vic, she was standing up watching Jax, and Tara was in the distance watching him too. I gave one more look to the woman holding her child, she was still bawling, she didn't even have a clue what was going on around her, she was stuck in a moment she would never see her way out of, I knew I had been living in it for the last 3 years. For one of the first times I didn't argue with Happy I just followed him towards my car, handing him the keys. He muttered something about my 'cage' and then started the car as I buckled up. We didn't say anything on the ride, I was trying to stop myself from crying and he was holding onto the steering wheel so tight I thought he was going to rip it off the dashboard. The woman's screams were playing in the back of my mind over the song coming out of the speakers of the car.

"Jesus Christ Hap, what is happening?" I couldn't hold my silence anymore, I looked over at him when we turned onto my street. "Someone's kid got shot! Hale is dead! Abel is missing!"

"What do you want me to say Bowie?" he asked and I knew by the sound of his voice he didn't know anything more than I did.

"Who was she?" I asked when he put my car in park in the driveway.

"I don't know, she wasn't anyone I knew," I had never seen her either, the woman who lost her child wasn't attached to the Sons.

"So what happens now?" I unbuckled and looked over at him pulling up my black jean clad legs resting them against the dash board in front of me,

"We find Abel," he answered looking over at me.

"Before you go to jail?" that was still lingering over all of their heads, "The town is going to eat this shit up with a spoon," what happened tonight was probably all over Charming by now SAMCRO was loosing friends all over.

"We will find him before then," I knew if Abel was alive out there they would find him.

"Don't let him go off the deep end," It sounded like an order but it was more of a request.

"How am I going to do that?" He stopped at the opening of the hall, "I did," At the moment I realized something I had been told a million times, but never put any thought to, Jax wasn't the only person going through what I had, Happy had been there before too, on the edge of wanting to die of sadness and wanting to kill everything that moved, teetering on the line.

"Then help him learn from our mistakes," I looked at him in a different light than I ever had before, an equal, he had been this huge part of my life until he was just gone, thinking about Jax and remembering how I felt could I really blame him for taking off? His daughter had just died, but I had only seen it as a one person ache, mine. I reached for the door to get out of the car.

"I'll have your car back in the morning," he put the car in reverse before I even got out and instant anxiety took over my body, someone had just tried to shoot his club and now he was leaving where I couldn't keep my eyes on him.

"Stay," I pled with my eyes in the light of the car.

"Bowie.."

"Please," I reached out and grabbed his thick tattooed wrist. "Stay," he nodded his head, put the car in park and turned it off. "I'll give you a ride back to your bike in the morning,"

He followed me into the house and I didn't turn on any lights going straight to the bedroom the last hour of my life had completely exhausted me. Happy wasn't behind me when I turned around but I could hear him talking on the phone, probably letting the club know I had begged him to stay, so they didn't think he had gone missing, it wouldn't be a stretch the way shit had been going. I turned my back from the door and stripped off my jeans and blouse leaving my bra and panties on and slipping on an oversized t-shirt, the flower tattoos on my thigh a contrast to the milky white skin underneath it, I had gotten them right after Harper, her initials were wrapped in the vines, the pinkish color in the center of the orchids were the only color on the whole tattoo. I turned around to pick up my clothes, figuring I better fold them up neatly for the next funeral and jumped when I saw Happy leaning against the door frame, he had seem me in my bra and panties a million times but it still surprised me that I hadn't even thought about the fact that he was in the house when I just got undressed without shutting the door; I was usually very aware and very uncomfortable knowing he was surrounding me.

"Was that the guys? Everyone else whole?" I asked him setting my clothes on top of the dresser.

"Chuckie took a bullet in the arm, he'll be fine," Chuckie was an interesting character, he was slowly becoming the ying to Gemma's yang, another guy head over heels in love with her, I didn't know if it was her blunt disregard for them or her smart ass mouth that kept them all following her, but she was the Pied Piper to more than just Clay.

"I'm going to bed," I said to him turning down the side of the bed that I always slept on, plugging my phone into the charger and looking at him.

He watched me for a moment before speaking, "Night," he turned towards the hall again.

"Where are you going?" Dumb, dumb girl.

"Didn't think you'd want me in here," his rugged voice raised just enough of an octave that I noticed, he gave me a confused look.

"I do," I lost contact with his eyes and started staring at the black duvet on the bed. I hadn't invited him over to sleep on the couch, I invited him over because I was scared to be alone, and I was scared for him to be alone too. The shit with that woman tonight was too close to home watching her cry for her baby, realizing I had never been fair to him about it. I wanted to know exactly where he was, and I didn't know what that meant in the long run.

I looked back up when I didn't feel his eyes burning into me and he was pulling off his boots, sitting them neatly against the wall, before taking off his cut and t-shirt, then his socks and pants; folding everything and resting them onto his boots, till he was just standing in his boxers, his body was insane like it always had been, and he'd added tattoos to his body over the last three years, the smiley faces to the side of his belly button had almost doubled since the last time I saw him and there was room for many, many more, but the one that stuck out most was on his lower leg, a mocking bird it was almost in a purple shade, and it had 3-7 on the corner part of it and I had to resist the urge to get a closer look. We had chose the name Harper after my favorite book, To Kill A Mockingbird, author Harper Lee. As much as everyone tried to judge Happy that all he was is a killing machine he had read and enjoyed the book as well so when I suggested Harper he agreed whole heartedly. I didn't get to look at it much longer he hit the switch on the wall and turned the whole room completely black. I waited a moment for him to get in the bed but he didn't get on it.

"Hap?" I asked into the darkness wondering where he went.

"Are you sure?" his thick voice soothed my nerves.

"Yes," I said and a second later the blanket was lifted up and he got in, his smell surrounding me like it had earlier today when he laid over me to block bullets. Without much thought I rolled towards him, putting my face against his chest shutting my eyes against his warm skin and his arm wrapped against my waist.

"Got to get up," Happy said moments after I shut my eyes but I looked over at the clock and noticed it was 3:13 in the morning, I didn't even know I had fallen asleep.

"Whats wrong?" I asked nervous as he went over to turn the light on. "What happened?"

"It's Katie," he started getting dressed and I flew out of bed as well.

* * *

Let me know what you think! We are almost to 100 reviews! You guys rock, after 100 I think I'm going to start commenting back, but at this point I am so far behind I wouldn't be able to catch up so 100 will be our starting point.

What is going on with Katie?

What is going on with Bowie and Happy?

What should happen next?

I don't own anything SAMCRO.


	15. Chapter 15

"Mr. Lowman?" A Dr. came up in front of where Happy and I were sitting, he had been tapping his foot so hard for the last 40 minutes I'm pretty sure he had dented the floor. The nurse at the front desk was lucky to have her life when she told us she didn't have any information when we had first gotten there. We both stood up in front of the Dr. when he came up to speak to Happy. "The medicine we have given her to control the pain she is going through has caused her to go into renal failure," this Dr. was just putting it out there, guess he knew not to fuck with Happy, "She's going to have to start doing Dialysis until we figure out if the damage is permanent or not,"

"Can we see her?" I asked the Dr that Happy was staring holes into.

"Yes, she's been asking for both of you, I'm sorry," he reached out and tapped Happy on the back and I couldn't believe he didn't react but his eyes moved to me, and I saw the gloss behind them and that nerve in his jaw flex like it always did as the Dr led us to her room. Katie Lowman was sitting on the bed hands crossed on her lap like she was waiting on a tea party to start, the only tell that she had on her was the green tinge of her skin that was starting to match the hospital room she was sitting in.

"I'm fine," was the first thing she said when she set eyes on her son, it was always intense between Katie and Happy, it was their personalities but neither Kaite or I knew what this was going to do to him. He just stood there watching her, taking over every inch of her I think he probably counted the freckles on her face while I went over and wrapped my arms around her.

"You scared me to death," I said to her after I kissed her cheek.

"It was all part of my plan, I've finally got you two together in a room," she smiled which was the wrong move given the situation we were in. Happy had moved across the room and threw the wooden chair in the corner against the wall, all of the legs falling off them.

"Happy!" I scolded him narrowing my eyes at him, he didn't listen, he picked up the chair again.

"Throw that chair again and I'll use it on your ass!" Katie snapped at her son lasers flying out of her eyes, "You're not too big for me to take over my knee asshole," I would of laughed if were weren't standing in the middle of a hospital room in a heated situation; but Hap put down the chair. I would of probably paid good money to see her beat him.

"I'm not going to do the dialysis shit," she informed both of us, "We can't afford it,"

"Yes," both Happy and I said at the same time, there was no way she was getting out of this shit. We would sell organs to make sure she got taken care of.

"How are we going to do that? You're trying to fix your shop," she looked at me, "You're heading to jail," she shifted to look at Happy. "I won't be a burden on my children,"

"I'll make sure it happens," I assured her, "So don't think his jail time is your golden ticket, I'll get a job at CaraCara if I have to, that new Dondo guy seems to like me," he had rolled in after Luann had passed away and I had seen him a few times in town, he was trying to convince me to come and work for him to which I happily declined.

Happy growled and for some reason Katie thought it was a good time to laugh again.

"How was the prospect's wake?" she asked trying to change the subject and I looked over at Happy not knowing what he was going to tell her.

"Fine," he lied to his Mom.

"I don't want you kids hanging around here, go get some sleep," We both looked at her like she was crazy, she was just admitted to the hospital, with kidney failure! There was no way we were going to leave her. "Please, I won't be able to sleep with you here," I was glad we were in the hospital at the moment because I thought I was going to pass out, I had never heard Katie Lowman say please in her life.

"We'll be back in the morning," Happy went over to his Mom holding her tightly before giving her a kiss. I smiled at Katie before following Happy out of the hospital room.

"Where are we going?" I asked him knowing we weren't going back to Charming. Bakersfield was too far for us to come right back in a few hours. He didn't answer just kept walking and I followed him, he could of probably been leading me off the end of a cliff and I didn't think I would turn away from him now, there was no telling what level Happy Lowman would go to at this point.

I wasn't surprised when we pulled up to Katie's house and he cut off my car. We had left his Aunt in the waiting room so I knew there was no one else here as we went into the house. He kicked off his boots and walked into the spotless house dropping his cut on a kitchen chair, I followed suit and left my converses beside his shoes.

"Hap?" I asked wondering what we were going to do now but he kept walking down the hall into the room that had been his in high school, it still looked the same as the last time I was in there, it was a futon mattress on the floor a book shelf and a TV, very neat and very tidy; from the lack of dust all over everything I knew Happy must have been spending some of his nights here instead of the club house.

He stripped off so he was in his boxers again and got into the bed, this time I didn't take any time to watch his body I was to occupied on what exactly his brain was doing.

"You just going to stand there all night?" he asked sliding over on the full sized mattress and I turned the light off, I could still see some from the sun that was starting to rise over the mountains and I got into the bed beside him; he laid his arm out flat and I laid my head on it, there was only one pillow so he was offering up his arm, even though we both knew I would end up sleeping on his chest.

"I'll make sure she goes," I said to him, locking my fingers with the hand beside me, not knowing what else to do to comfort him rubbing my thumb up and down the length of his.

"How? I can barely afford the medicine now," he growled the shadow of him looking down at me.

"I'll help," I said quietly knowing he wasn't going to take charity well, especially from me.

"No I'm not taking hand outs,"

"I love Katie, I want to do this, I'm fine Hap, we own the house, my car is paid for, I've got enough to throw her way,"

"Bow.."

"The way I see it you don't get a choice," I cut him off rolling around but keeping our hands together putting both of our arms in a strange position and resting my head on his hard chest the most comfortable pillow I had ever found. He looked down at me at the same time as I looked up at him and I stretched my neck pressing my lips against his softly, it was something rarely experienced together, a kiss that wasn't about showing the other who was in charge, he grunted and pulled me further up letting go of my hand, trying to deepen the kiss and I just backed away pulling us apart. He grabbed my hips lifting me off the bed and sitting me on him so I was straddling his waist and I started kissing my way down his chest while he rubbed a hand up and down my back.

"Bowie," he grunted trying to get my attention as my lips hit his chest and started back up his neck. "Bow," he pulled my mouth away from him. "I can't do this," he looked like the words hurt him more than they did me. "My life, it's bleeding all over you," I gave him a confused look, "I can't ask you to do any of this," I didn't know what to say to that comment, it burned more than it should of, deep in a spot in my chest I didn't know existed anymore, a part of me I thought he had taken all those years ago.

"Just go to sleep," I said trying to get off him embarrassed but he grabbed my hips again, holding me in place.

"Stay," he looked into my eyes, "Please," he was using the words I had used on him the night before and I tried to blink away the tears his words were causing and put my head back down on his chest, staying on top of him and putting my legs out straight, mixing them up with his. If someone had walked in they would of really thought we had lost our mind, me laying on top of him in a bed big enough for both of us to be sleeping side by side. His hand started rubbing up and down my back again and it didn't take long for both of us to slip back into the sleep we had started earlier that night.

"Bowie," My body moved a little and it caused me to wake up, I opened my eyes to a tattooed chest, and looked up to see Happy looking down at me.

"No," I muttered shutting my eyes again.

"Food," He grunted sitting us both up causing me to almost bend in half backwards.

"Not hungry," I said shutting my eyes after straightening back out, "leave me here," I rested my head on the warm pillow he had left behind.

"Come on," apparently he wasn't going to take no for an answer and I heard his zipper and I opened my eyes. He was standing in the doorway pulling his shirt over his head and I huffed getting up myself and slipping on my converses.

Happy drove us to a diner I had liked when we were together, we had eaten there a lot when we would stay in Bakersfield with Kaite, my brain playing a rerun of last night, him breaking my mouth of him, and I felt heat rising in my cheeks.

A cute redheaded waitress made her way over to our booth where we were sitting across from each other and stopped short of the table looking Happy up and down like he was a slab of meat on sale at the market and flipped her pony tail over the other shoulder. I felt anger start to bubble down in my stomach at the girl, who couldn't be more than 18 the little slut! But another part of my brain, the part I hated said I had acted the same way last night, he literally had to pull me off him.

"What can I get you to drink?" She said to Hap in an airy voice and he didn't even look up from his menu as he answered her.

"Coffee," that was all he said and kept reading, she just stood with a smile on her face popping out her small chest waiting on him to look; she didn't even look in my direction.

"I'll have coffee too thanks," I said to the waitress and she shook her head.

"What?" she said quickly "Oh, yeah," she answered her own question and walked away writing on her pad of paper. I guess she hadn't even realized I was there until I spoke.

"Bitch," I muttered watching the girl walk away before looking back at Happy and he was staring at me from across the table.

"What?" he looked confused at me.

"Nothing," I picked up the menu blocking my view of him.

After the waitress put our coffees down and took our menu's away we didn't really have any more distractions we were forced to look at each other.

"What happens when you go inside Hap?" I quickly asked before taking a sip of my coffee.

"I'll make sure they give you my cut of the cash," he muttered staring down at his own cup.

"I'm not talking about money," I huffed drawing his attention back up to me, "What do I do if she keeps getting worse?"

"Do whatever the Dr says, even if she doesn't want too," Happy was all about death, until it came to his mother he would fight her to stay alive even if she was ready to stop fighting.

* * *

2 Day's later

The last few days between Happy and I had been completely awkward, after we had ate breakfast they kept Kaite in the hospital for a few more hours before they moved her to a hospice against her wish, and it really caused a riff between us, arguing with Kaite added to the already tense situation we had woken up into that day. So when Tara had called me to say that she was heading up to see Gemma I was packed before she made it across town to get me.

"You sure you want to go with me?" She asked out the window of her Cutlass.

"Yes, I need to get out of here," I nodded assuring her and flew around the front of the car to get into the passenger side dropping my backpack in the back seat.

"Me too," she agreed backing out of the driveway. "Should we stop and pick up Vic too?" she laughed.

"Nah, we're getting new glass in the store front, someone has to be there to sign," I laughed along with her.

"How's Happy's mom doing?" she asked she had been hanging out at the shop with us if she wasn't at work, not wanting to go home and feel the wrath of Jax Teller, and I had been staying there as well not wanting Happy Lowman to feel my wrath, after we had woken up that morning we had both acted like whatever that shit was that went down between us never happened, and that did more than piss me off. So unfortunately Tara and I had nothing better to do than talk, one of my least favorite things.

"She's in hospice right now, we're not leaving here\ there, just letting her get to a place where we are comfortable with her being home,"

"Those are big decisions for two people to make that aren't even together,"Tara said keeping her eyes on the road.

When we got to Nate's Tig was sitting outside smoking and I laughed, "He can't be hurt that bad," I grabbed my backpack out of the backseat and went to sit beside Tig.

"Hey Darling," he leaned over and hissed in pain, holding his shoulder; Tara had told me all about what happened, how Nate had shot him in the shoulder while he was fucking the care taker.

"Rough year?" I asked him taking the joint out of his hand and taking a few hits. I had seen Tig more injured this year than I had at any other point in my life. But he was taking it well, something in him had switched after Donna, he stopped being so intimidating, his humanity had finally caught up with him and he wasn't dealing with it gracefully.

"You have no idea Doll," he took the joint back. "How is shit going back in Charming?"

"Crazy," I shook my head thinking about everything going on at the moment, "Shit is upside down," Tara walked past us on the doorstep and went into the house, yelling Gemma's name as she went inside.

"Yeah, the guys should be up here tomorrow, that will be interesting," I pursed my lips at him, the way all of us were acting lately, we would tear this place apart if shit got anymore stressed.

"Come on Tiggy, lets go get you patched up," I slapped his back on the sore shoulder side and he sucked in half of the air outside and I couldn't help but laugh as we both stood up and went to find Tara.

"I need to show you something," Gemma said to me after Tara had gone off to look at Tig, "We can't let Tara know,"

"Okay?" I didn't know what she was talking about but I followed her through the kitchen and down a wooden set of stairs.

"Holy shit Gem!" I felt my eyes widen at the sight in front of me, a woman was ducked taped to a wheel chair down in the basement. "Why is she down here?" This had to be the house keeper, she looked like something Tig would be nailing, he did love the foreign girls.

"She saw my wanted poster, thought she was going to call it in,"

"So you tied her up? What are you going to do with her?" I looked at her like she was crazy, "She can't stay down here forever Nate is going to a home tomorrow!"

Gemma pulled me close like she was going to kiss my cheek, and I kept looking at the girl, she was blind folded and in what I assumed was Rose's nightgown. "We are going to kill her," she whispered and then kissed my cheek.

"I need to pee!" the woman said in our general direction, she clearly had heard us coming down the stairs.

"Yeah, I'll get to that," Gemma said and started back up the stairs, and I quickly followed her.

"You can't be serious!" I said to her when we got to the top of the stairs and she shut the door behind us, "I'm not an assassin! I'm not Happy!"

"Oh come on! You don't sleep with the Tacoma Killer for all those years and not learn anything!"

"You can't go anywhere without getting in trouble can you?" I asked her sitting down at the table seeing a shot gun sitting across the table. "That the one he shot Tig with?" I asked, wondering why they just had it sitting across the table.

"No," she snapped, "That is the one I caught myself a little snitch with,"

"How is Nate?"

"He doesn't know Rose is gone, I didn't know he had gotten this bad," her whole demeanor shifted, she looked defeated as she spoke about her Father. "He just watches TV all day," she nodded her head in the direction of the living room and I didn't see anyone sitting in there; it only took Gemma a second to see the confusion on my face and she jogged into the living room.

"Shit!" she turned looking very nervous, "DADDY!" she started yelling searching the house.

* * *

"You've got a woman tied up in the basement!" of course it had only taken Gemma about 36 seconds to tell Tara about the caretaker in the basement, even after she had made me swear not to tell Tara when she had taken me down there.

"She did that to herself!" Gemma argued back, trying to defend her actions.

"You had to sleep with her didn't you!" I yelled at Tig not sure if I was going to help the situation or not, but I figured it was better that Gemma and Tara blamed Tig then fighting with each other, the road had always been rocky between the two of them, they had just started getting along.

"Yeah, ask him about the lube!" Gemma snapped before walking out of the living room.

"Do I want to ask?" I looked at the curly haired man.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled in the direction of Gemma. "I'm a very big man," Tig shrugged like I should of understood him.

"I'm going to check on her, Gemma clocked her good," Tara grabbed her hospital bag off the table and started towards the door to the basement.

"Don't untie her," I said calmly to Tara and she nodded before she went downstairs."I should of stayed in Charming," I said to Tig not sure what else to say.

"Yeah, me too," he threw back some pills out of the bottle he was holding and we both started looking at each other.

"When are they going to tell Gemma about him?" I asked lowering my voice, he knew I was talking about Abel, I didn't need to say his name.

"Tomorrow, after dropping off Nate, she's heading to Canada with them,"

"Canada?" I asked Tig looking at him like he was insane.

"That's the last place he was seen,"

"You are out on bail! You can't leave the country,"

"Gonna get new head up there,"

"Happy going?" I asked, keeping eye contact with him, trying not to let my emotions take over my thoughts, they weren't safe in Canada, if the law finds out they left the country there was no telling how long they would be put away, Happy needed to be around for Katie.

"Yeah, last I heard," he nodded his head again.

"What is taking her so long?"Gemma came slamming through the kitchen following in the path Tara had taken a few moments ago..

"I've got to make a phone call," I told Tig leaving the room and heading towards the living room. I had the phone dialed and held to my ear before I even thought of the consequences of what I was about to do.

"Hey," Happy's gruff voice filled the speaker of the phone and caused my blood to start running slowly, Happy's voice had always done that, calmed me down till I was almost at a place where I swore that I'd gone into a vegetative state, unless I was pissed at him then it ran like lava in my veins.

"Canada?" I didn't waste any time.

"What about it?"

"Try and play damn stupid!" I exclaimed,getting pissed. I was hoping he would of just owned up to it, "You don't give a shit about anything but the club! What about Katie? You want to stay in jail forever?!" I could hear Tig yelling in the back ground but I didn't give it any thought.

"Where are you?" he requested I could hear the anger slipping out of ever pore in his skin.

"It's not about where I am," I grumbled back to him.

"I don't know what you think it is about," he hissed back, "But it's got nothing to do with you,"

"I know it's about getting him back! But what about Katie?" I didn't get an answer, the phone beeped and then the phone went dead. I knew I was in deep shit and would have to deal with it tomorrow but I didn't care at that moment, and I didn't get time to think about it as the caretaker came running through the kitchen, Gemma hot on her heels and I pushed her against the wall to slow her down. Tara came running into the room a hand over her mouth as the nurse fell against the ground, a knife in her chest; she bent down in front of her trying to get a read on her pulse.

"She's dead," both women looked at me.

"I tried to stop her from leaving!" I defended myself.

"She won't be going anywhere!" Tig said from where he was now standing in the doorway watching the scene."Ever again,"

I felt my stomach drop into my knees and bile rise but I wasn't the one that threw up, Tara went running past Tig and I heard her vomit into the sink.

"Jesus, we're falling apart," at that moment I wished I hadn't made that phone call to Happy, because now if I called him I would be spitting a whole new story, I had just killed a woman.

* * *

I don't own anything SOA

Let me know what you think!


	16. Chapter 16

"This shit is soo...fucked up," Tara muttered from beside me, we were stuck in the last empty room, neither of us wanted to sleep in the bed with Tig's blood on it so we had agreed to stay in a room together. "And that guy, he was creepy," Tig's cleaner had shown up later in the night to take care of the caretaker, and to say that he made Tig look like a normal human was an understatement. He made him look at a damn presidential candidate.

"Yeah, he was something else," I agreed with her replaying me pushing that girl in my head, I still couldn't believe that I was the cause of her death, the reason why we had met the cleaner.

"Where did he put her?" Tara asked again.

"Who?" I said back to her like he had told her earlier.

"How do I make this work? This club shit?" she was completely lost in all of this.

"You've got to accept who he is and what he does," I started to give her the speech my Dad had given me all those years ago when I started to realize the crazy shit that was going on around me. When I had asked him about the way the people looked at him and the guys, the way they looked at Me, Jax and Opie. He had said that they didn't accept it so they couldn't get over it, I couldn't question what they did or I would start questioning everything.

"What about if I can't do that?" she asked and I was glad it was dark out so she couldn't see the look on my face, I didn't know what to tell her, I had been down from the moment I figured out what really was going on.

"You've got to answer that for yourself," I said to her into the darkness, "You can either make it work or you can't,"

"Did you make it work with Happy?" she asked back and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah,"

"I've heard some crazy shit about him,"

"Yeah," I said again, shutting my eyes.

"Did he tell you everything?"

"Yeah, he used to," he didn't anymore I couldn't even get information about Canada out of him even though he knew I clearly knew the whole story. Happy and I used to tell each other everything, usually because it was to hard for him to lie when he came home covered in blood and dirt, or toting a pile of cash, keeping it in a safe, never a bank. "It was all or nothing,"

"Gemma?" Tara questioned, "She told me to tell Jax that,"

"Nah, we just trusted each other,"

"And now?"

"Now he probably wouldn't tell me it was raining out even if I was standing in it,"

* * *

"Morning," Gemma was in the kitchen the next morning making breakfast while Tara was packing up some dishes.

"Morning," I muttered pouring myself some coffee.

"The guys should be here in a few hours, they've got some...business to do first," Tig sat down across from me at the table, "And let me remind you girls not a word about her," he pointed at the basement door, "Since Jax didn't want you up here," he looked at Tara, "And no one knows you are here," he turned back on me, "We'll have plenty of other conversation to keep us occupied,"

"We get it!" Gemma told the cut wearing biker. "We'll be packing anyways,"

Tara took off with the box she had packed to a different part of the house leaving us alone in the kitchen.

"Happy is going to kill me for not telling him you are up here," Tig informed me rubbing his eyes, "If he finds out about anything else.."

"Like I killed a woman last night?"

"Yeah! Something like that! It would probably set him off the edge,"

"She killed herself!" Gemma sat a plate of food down in front of Tig, "She had the knife in her hand, you just pushed her, Tara is the one that untied her!" Gemma insisted putting her hands on her hips; she would put the blame on everyone but herself.

"Yeah, I pushed her right onto a knife," I knew I hadn't directly killed her but I was the cause of her death; I had witnessed plenty of deaths, it came with the territory but ending a woman's life kept searing into my brain.

"Listen baby," Tig tried to get my attention, after putting down his fork, "There are some things that have to be done for the family, this was one of them!" he spoke calmly and I saw Happy behind his eyes for a short second, they both believed that certain things had to be done to protect us all. I had always seen and heard the deaths, and I didn't bat an eye to them, it was revenge they had done something to us first. But now that I was a first hand player I really understood the lack of conscience they must have to get through every day.

"She didn't have to die," I argued with him.

"What were we going to do? Untie her and let her go? Hope she didn't say anything to anyone?" his question chilled me, Gemma signed her death sentence when she put her down there and I was her executioner.

"He's right," that was why she had showed me Amelia in the basement when I first got there, told me she had to die; she was already a dead woman, even before she got a knife to the chest. "I'm going to help Tara, you need to get yourself together before they get here!" She pointed at me, "Happy is going to know there is something wrong with you the second he sees you," her face looked nervous at her last sentence and she left the room.

"Does Happy scare everyone? What does she think he's going to do if he finds out?" I looked at Tig wrapping my hands around my coffee cup feeling the heat.

"Yes, everyone!" Tig smiled at me, "But when it comes to you, he's a wild card! No one knows what lengths he'll go to if something happens to you,"

"We're not together," I informed Tig and he stood up laughing as his cellphone started ringing.

"Keep telling yourself that beautiful!" he walked off and I could hear him answer the phone when he got into a different room, all I could do is shake my head.

Too soon after I started packing up the living room bikes were heard in the drive way , I looked out the window to see Jax and Clay parking their bikes; and I let out a sigh of relief, glad a certain tattooed biker wasn't in the drive way. Tig and Gemma went out the front door and I caught Tara out of the corner of my eye head up the stairs and I quickly followed her.

"You okay?" I asked her, she was in the room Tig had been shot in packing some boxes. I sat down on the bed beside some boxes looking at the Doc.

"Yeah," she lied to me watching out the window at the front lawn where I knew Jax and Clay were.

"It will be okay," I told her and she started sobbing sitting down on the bed.

"Jesus," I came to a conclusion looking at the woman silently sobbing, "Is there something in the water?" I asked noticing the small shift in her personality over the last few weeks.

"First Vic, now you,"

"How do you know?" She asked, sucking back her tears.

"I've been there," I remembered how those emotions had effected me in the first few months of my pregnancy, I broke a flip flop while walking once and started bawling, Happy had just looked at me like I was crazy, but it had really upset me, they were my favorite pair. Now I realized how damn crazy that was but at the time I couldn't help it.

"Nobody knows," she told me pleading with her eyes for me to keep my mouth shut.

"Okay," I smiled at her standing up and giving her a quick hug before hearing a heavy body moving up the stairs, I passed Jax on the way down the stairs to finish my packing.

"What are you doing here?" he asked looking at me confused.

"Where did everyone think I was?" I asked him it.

"We figured you were up with Katie," a flare of anger rose in my veins.

"Happy hasn't been up to check on her?" If that is where he thought I was he hadn't spoken to her and he hadn't seen her.

"We've been a little busy!" Jax tried to defend his brother.

"That's not an excuse!" I snapped finishing my path down the stairs. I walked past the guys and Gemma in the kitchen and went out to the rose garden pulling out my cell phone.

"There she is," Katie's voice came through the speakers after one ring.

"Are you doing okay? I didn't know Hap wasn't up there," I sat down on the only bench, feeling guilty for placing all the blame on him, I should have been up there with her. I was running from Happy when I went up here and that didn't do anything to help Katie.

"I'm fine love," she tried to assure me, "Just ready to come home," I knew that was going to be a while, she had barely gotten out of the hospital.

"I'll be back tomorrow, I'm up here at Gemma's dad's house,"

"Baby, you do what you've got to do, I'm fine here, they barely let me sleep at night they check on me so much,"

"That's good though," I tried to tell her, "That is their job,"

"It's not going to be good for them much longer, they are starting to piss me off," I knew that wasn't going to be good for anyone.

"I'll be there tomorrow! Don't do anything stupid until then,"

"How's my boy?" She asked and I narrowed my eyes to look out at the front door in the distance, Clay, Jax and Tig were running towards their bikes.

"He's fine, I've got to go,"

"Bring me a carton of smokes," I hung up the phone and went running towards the guys.

"Where are you going?" I yelled out to Jax while he put his helmet on.

"Why don't you ask the caretaker?!" Jax yelled back before their bikes started up and they pulled off.

"Did you tell Jax?" I asked Tara coming into the kitchen seeing her and Gemma standing there watching the guys leave.

"I'm sorry," she had tears running down her face, "We got in a fight," she started crying harder sitting down on one of the wooden kitchen chair.

"And you thought telling him I KILLED somebody was going to help?" I knew it would take Jax about 35 seconds to tell Happy exactly where I was and what had happened last night.

"It just came out!" she tried to defend herself.

"Come on!" Gemma interrupted our little conversation, "We've got to get Nate to the home," Gemma was completely dreading this like most of us were, but still he was taking it much better than Katie had, she cussed us and called us every name in the book when we had brought her to the hospice.

"Please, don't leave me here," Nate grabbed my hand while we were setting him up in his room, Gemma had stayed outside crying while Tara and I had coaxed Nate into the building. It was hard to leave him there, while he was begging for us to bring him home, no matter what age you were it made you think about your future and I realized I would never have anyone to bring me here, to loving leave me behind like Happy had done Katie and Gemma was having to with Nate, I never planned on having anymore children and the future started to look darker and more desolate than either of the people we were leaving in this situation.

"It will be fun here," I smiled widely at Nate trying to make sure he didn't see through my lie.

"I want to go home!" he said grabbing my hand again.

"It's probably best if you leave now, he'll start to adjust quicker," The attendant told us keeping a straight face both Tara and I nodded and I leaned over to kiss Nate's cheek, slowly pulling my hand out of his grasp.

"Take me home!" he yelled to us as we filed out the door, "Please!" I turned my head back around to look at him and Tara grabbed my arm pulling me towards the door.

"He's got to be here, it's the best place for him," she assured me as we went out in the heat of the day. "Lets go home,"

That would have been a great idea of Gemma wouldn't of stolen Tara's ride.

"What is wrong with this damn family?" Tara snapped pulling her cell phone out of her back pocket. After a few minutes on the phone she hung up and went and set down on a bench.

"Well?" I asked her sitting beside her.

"They'll be here soon, that's all he said,"

"What were you guys fighting about earlier?" I asked her knowing we had nothing but time, unfortunately we were waiting on our ride.

"I wanted to go to Canada with him," I nodded my head at her understanding why she would want to go, not only was Abel up there but Jax was going, why would she not?

"And?" I asked not understanding the problem.

"Jax turned it down, said I needed to go back to the hospital," she sobbed, "Said you guys weren't my family,"

"We are," I assured her giving her a one armed hug, "He's just having a moment, he'll pull his head out of his ass the moment he sees Abel,"

"And what happens if he doesn't find him? Or something bad has happened to him?" she looked at me with all seriousness.

"Then I'll deal with Jax, dead babies are kind of my thing,"

"If he won't let me go with him I think you should," bikes were heard in the distance and we both looked up at the stretch of street to see them riding down it. "He's going to need somebody,"

"Once Happy finds out about the caretaker I'm not going to be alive to go anywhere," Clay pulled up and started talking to Tara but I headed over towards Happy's bike knowing he was my ride home, he held out the extra helmet he kept and I put it on noticing how dirty he was.

"What happened to you?" I asked him holding onto his shoulder while getting on the back of his bike.

"Disagreement," he grabbed my purse out of my hand and put it in the compartment on the side of his bike, and I noticed a huge prescription pill box before he shut it.

"You guys dealing drugs now?" I seethed at him wondering what the hell he was doing with all that shit in his bike. If he got stopped with that he'd go straight to jail, me with him for being on the bike.

"That's none of your business," he snapped and revved his engine and we moved forward going into Happy's usual place in the pack. We didn't stop for anything on the ride back towards Charming, my ass had gone completely numb about half way through the ride so the last half before signs and buildings started looking familiar again was hell, now that it was dark out I rested my cheek against Happy's back keeping it out of the cold air, wishing I had put on a long sleeve before we had left I thought I was about to freeze to death. I was surprised when we turned off the path of everyone else and got off the exit towards Katie's.

"We need to make sure Gemma is okay," I yelled to him the air around us felt like it was trying to suck my lungs out.

"We will...later," he was right in front of me but it sounded like he was a million miles away the wind stealing his voice away. He had remained sitting up straight and stiffly the whole ride, never once relaxing so I knew something was wrong with him but I didn't know what it was. We pulled up outside of Katie's hospice an hour after we had turned off, the guys would probably be back to charming by now, Gemma would be calling me soon, pissed I didn't tell her about Abel. He put down the stand and I used his body to stand up getting off the bike, my ass, legs and thighs still felt like they was vibrating from the bike, tingling while the blood started running through them again.

Happy gave me a disgusted face as I handed him the helmet waiting for him to get off the bike.

"Say it," I knew by his face that he had been told about the caretaker.

"What?" he boomed back at me.

"What you've got to say about her,"

"First, you go off with Tara,"He leaned back relaxing for the first time in hours, "Then you help Gemma kills someone?!" he was pissed, "You need someone dead you call me, you don't do it yourself," he spit out at me after looking around the parking lot to see we were alone.

"I didn't mean to," I didn't like that my emotions always slipped out in front of him, but Happy always seemed to do that to me. "She was running, had a gun! I pushed her,"

"Bowie," he sat up straight again watching my face contort while I told him what happened.

"I'm a killer for the second time," I said and he was up off his bike and around me before I could suck in the air my lungs were lacking. "A woman's blood is on my hands," I looked down at the hands that had pushed a woman onto a knife and his eyes followed mine. "It was an accident," I put my head into his chest breathing in the scent of him that surrounded me.

"Come on, lets go see Katie," he spoke to me after my breathing had calmed down to normal levels, he let go of me and grabbed the box and my purse out, shoving it into my bag and putting it on my shoulder.

* * *

Thank you to my recent reviewers!

Robin.D  
AJSM  
The-New-Akatsuki-Leader  
Soadarlin  
bethie86  
You Rock!  
Let me know what you think! What should happen next? We're at a point do we go to Ireland or do we hang out in Charming? I've caught up to my pre-written chapters so there is more wiggle room now that I'm typing as I go!

Who will be the next reviewers to get a shout out?

Also...Has anyone seen the previews for Charlie Hunnam's new movie? It looks good I think it's like King Arthur or something


	17. Chapter 17

"See boys, if you wish hard enough your dreams do come true," Stahl said to her men, smiling sickly at me when I walked into her office, shit had been on fire since we had left Nate's. I apparently had no choice but to speak with her, she had been after me ever since Gemma was back in ATF's custody. I had barely seen hide nor hair of the club since then, only their coming and going at the hospital.

"You wanted to see my client?" Lowen said from beside me in her nicely pressed business suit holding her leather brief case.

"Please sit," she pointed at two chairs in front of her desk, "You didn't need to bring a lawyer with you, I just have some questions." she didn't even acknowledge Lowen.

"Feds asking questions is never good," I smiled at her.

"No, I guess growing up in the family you did ,it's not,"

"Cut the shit! What do you want?"

"I want to know what you know about Cameron Hayes, the criminal history between the Sons of Anarchy and the Real IRA,"

"Who?" I asked trying not to laugh.

"Bowie Marie McKenney, daughter of Troy McKenney -first nine of the Sons of Anarchy, grew up with Jax Teller and Opie Winston, lived with Gemma Teller-Morrow and Clay Morrow after her Daddy got shot, was accepted into Berkeley, attended cosmetology school in Oakland, put up her hair salon and house to help bail out the sons, had a child with Happy Lowman, current member of SAMCRO, after a three year relationship,"

"Oh so you're the one that is keeping my Wikipedia page current?" I cut her off not sure why she was telling me all this stuff. "I don't know anything,"

"I find that hard to believe,"

"Was this what we were called here for?" Lowen ask picking up her brief case.

"No of course not," Stahl smiled again but kept her eyes on me. "I want the IRA darling, if you help me with what you know, I can help you," I smirked at her.

"I currently don't need any help,"

"You do, your boys are about to go down for some hard time, I think there is one in particular you care about," she dropped a picture of Happy and I at the diner down on the desk in front of her, "Katie Lowman is dying, I don't think you want her son serving a life sentence while you put her in the ground..alone,"

"Is there a point to all of this?"

"Any information you can provide..takes years off their sentence," she leaned forward tapping the picture with her short unpainted fingernail. "I'd hate to see this little reunion tour you two are on end so suddenly,"

"I don't know anything," I said to her again standing up, grabbing the picture off the desk and ripping it.

"We'll be going now," Lowen clarified for her.

"I'll be in touch," Stahl kept the smile on her face, crossing her hands on top of the desk.

Lowen's phone started ringing the second we stepped out of the office and she quickly answered if as I sent Jax a text telling him about what Stahl had wanted.

"You've got to be kidding me! That's great!" Lowen said into the phone and I looked over at her. "Thank you!" she said before hanging up. "The guys bail hearing has been pushed 10 days!"

I got a text back from Jax to come see him at the hospital, "They're at St. Thomas if you need them,"

* * *

"She said she would shorten the time?" he asked looking confused not angry like I thought he would be.

"Yeah, said any information I could give her would mean less jail time for you guys," The rest of the club came down the hall and Hap's chest caught my attention, his Nomad patch was missing and had been replaced with a Redwood patch, Happy was officially SAMCRO.

"When did that happen?" I motioned at his chest.

"A few days ago," he replied, "What did ATF want?" Jax gave me a set of eyes that told me to shut up over Happy's shoulder.

"She wanted to know if I knew anything about Abel," I lied to him, truth was the feds didn't give a shit about where that baby boy was, he was dead as far as they were concerned. I knew that Abel was in Belfast, Gemma had told me the day after she had been admitted, I knew the guys were trying to get over there, and I looked over at Lowen as she was speaking to Clay, wasn't it a coincidence that the bail hearing got pushed 10 days?

"I'm going to see Gemma," I told the group of eyes watching me as I moved through them to the room.

I walked into Gemma's room to see her and Tara sitting there in a heated conversation.

"I interrupting?" I asked not really caring and sitting down on the edge of Gemma's bed.

"No, we were actually just talking about you," Gemma looked at me, "I need you to go home and pack a bag,"

"Why?" I asked her looking confused.

"I'm not going to Ireland," Tara answered for her, "Remember what I said about Jax needing someone?"

"I can't just go to Ireland," I disagreed with the women in the room.

"He's going to need you, you're the only one that isn't wanted by the law," Gemma stared me down,

"Tara isn't either," I looked over at the Doc, "Why don't you go?"

"I walked in on Jax and that porn slut this morning!" she sounded like she was going to start crying again, she cried every time I saw her since we had gotten back. "He's trying to push me away, it worked, we're done,"

"If something happens to Abel, you'll need to be there for him," Gemma nodded her head.

"I'll have a bag back for you too," Tara said to Gemma.

"Wait?" I looked back at Gemma, "If you are going why do I need to,"

"Because you are the only person that is going to be able to talk him off that cliff baby,"

"How are you going to get out of here? You're being watched," I pointed out, motioning to the door where the top of an agents head could be seen.

"They aren't going to like this," I said talking about SAMCRO.

"Clay knows," I raised my eyebrows at her, "only about you," she added, "He agrees you should come,"

Clay and Jax came in at that exact moment, Tara and I stood up to leave and Clay wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "Come with me beautiful,"

"She talk to you?" he asked when we were alone in the hall.

"Yeah," I affirmed.

"Meet us here at 4, don't bring anything you can't carry on your back,"

"Yeah," I knew I didn't really have a choice, I agreed with them that Jax would need somebody I just wished it wasn't me, I didn't really feel like making a family trip to Ireland.

"Hey," Clay caught my attention as I started walking down the hall, "Happy or the guys can't know, they'll try and stop it,"

"Yeah,"

"4," Clay reminded me before going into Gemma's room, I walked passed Tara at the front desk when I left and she nodded her head at me as Stahl got off the elevator smirking at me. We really were in a shit storm.

* * *

"You're going with them?" Vic hissed, "To Ireland?" she was sitting on my bed while I packed my things.

"It's not like I have much of a choice Vic!" I challenged her, "I'm going to need you to check on Katie," I added.

"yeah no problem," she agreed giving up the argument, "I never get to do the exciting stuff,"

"I wouldn't call a trip to Ireland with 8 fugitives exciting," I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well you are at least in on the know, Opie hasn't even told me they are going to Ireland yet," she started folding the clothes I had been throwing on the bed putting it down in the bag.

"He isn't a sharer," I tried to assure her, Opie hadn't told Donna anything either, but I didn't think now was the time to bring her up. "How's shit been going?" I asked looking down at her stomach.

"Sucks, I'm sicker than a damn dog, and when I'm not puking I'm crying,"

"Don't worry you only have like 8 months left," I smirked at her.

"Fuck you," she kept packing the bag. "How is shit with you and Hap?"

"He patched Redwood," I said digging in my winter tote, getting a few hoodies out. "But there is no shit between us,"

"Yeah, now that I did know, I saw Kozik when I dropped off the kids with Piney, he was pretty bummed, apparently Tig turned down his transfer."

"Because of a damn dog!" I barked. Kozik and Tig used to be inseparable before all this shit went down, they had even been room mates.

"I know! I didn't even like that damn dog, she always nipped at me!"

"She bit Gemma once too, I remember!" I grabbed a small cosmetics bag and headed towards the bathroom.

"My money is on her running over the dog," She laughed as I started shoving my toiletries into the bag.

"Need to borrow some condoms?" She was standing in the doorway when I looked up in the mirror.

"Not the ones you have prego," I smirked at her.

"Well, the way you and Hap have been going lately you are either going to kill each other or fuck each others brains out,"

"You're such a dreamer," but a part of me agreed with her, something was going to come to a head with us, I just didn't know which side of the table it was going to be on.

"How are they going to get Gemma out?" she asked, "She's being watched by the ATF day and night,"

"Not sure," that reminded me of something, "Stahl talked to me this morning, she wanted to know about the Irish, has she said anything to you?"

"No, not since Abel went missing,"

"She tried to intimidate me, saying all this shit about me like she was reading a dictionary insert about me,"

"What does she want with the Irish?" she questioned.

"I'm not sure, but the Irish can't go down without taking out SAMCRO,"

"Gun running charges," she paused thinking about her words before she said them, "They won't see the outside of prison for a long time,"

"More like forever,"

* * *

"And write me everyday," Vic joked as she dropped me off at the hospital.

"Oh kiss my ass,"

"Get out of my car! I've got to go say goodbye to my man," she unlocked the door and I leaned over to hug her, grabbing my bag from the back and going towards the hospital up behind where Jax and Clay were walking.

"What is she doing here?" Jax asked when I caught up to them purse on my arm and my backpack on.

"Always wanted to see the home land," I tried to lighten what I knew was going to be a difficult conversation.

"We are going to need someone not wanted for fleeing the country over there," Clay informed his step son.

"You can't be serious! She's not going!" he bucked up to Clay.

"Jax, I'm packed, I've gone to far too turn around now," I locked my arm with his while he muttered a string of cuss words and we started walking towards the service entrance. "Shit," he muttered as his burner phone rang and he unwrapped our arms.

"Thanks," Clay muttered knowing I stopped Jax from an argument none of us needed at the moment, "That's why you are going,"

"JESUS!" Jax yelled hanging up the phone.

"What?" Clay asked looking nervously at Jax, "My mother!" he snapped looking at me. "Did you know about this?"

"What?" I asked trying to keep my face neutral, adjusting the bag on my back. Jax led us over to the service entry.

"We've got to wait on Gemma,"

"What?" Clay asked his face shifting and he glared at me as well.

"Liar," Tig whispered in my ear.

We stood there in silence before Gemma came flying out of the door, a lab coat on and a big black duffel bag.

"Don't start," she warned Jax as he opened his mouth to protest, "I'm going with," she started towards the tow truck.

"Some people are looking for you," Unser came up in front of the group of us."I'll tell them you changed your mind, turned yourself in," Tig pulled out his gun as Gemma stared at him, I felt my eyes widen as Unser pulled out his gun as well.

"You going to shoot me Wayne?" Gemma asked moving closer.

"Are you guys serious?" I asked both of the men that were holding guns out at each other.

"If you go with them your just as guilty," I slatted over towards the vehicles and sat in the passenger side of the Cutlass knowing there wasn't enough room in the tow truck.

"Shit," Tig got in moments after me and started speeding away, the guys behind us.

"You've got to be shitting me," Tig said as the sound of sirens filled the open windows and he pulled over a few streets away from the hospital.

"You guys take the cutlass!" He told Jax as they got out of the tow truck and I crawled into the back seat, "I'll lead them down the highway, you go back through town."

Gemma got in the back beside me still in her lab coat. "Did you get a degree while you were healing?" I joked not knowing what else to say, we hadn't even left Charming and it was already tense.

"Yeah, something I didn't want to know," she looked out the window as we pulled away not saying anything else.

We pulled up to a air strip and Oswald was standing by the club with his hands on his hips and our tires squealed we pulled in so fast.

"Waiting till last minute?" Oswald asked Clay as he got out of the car moving the seat forward as I got out.

"Change of plans," he huffed and I put my back pack on and grabbed my purse. I looked over at the guys and Happy was already glaring holes in me.

"She's not going," his deep voice drew Clay's attention.

"Yes, she is," he moved towards Happy, before they all got distracted by Gemma getting out of the car as well.

"What are you doing?" Happy beamed at me daring me to lie to him.

"I didn't have a choice," I kept eye contact with him for what felt like a century, his black eyes lightened up for a second and then he blinked.

"Shit," he muttered picking up a small cooler beside him and his bag, "Come on," I followed him towards the plane in the group of guys.

When we got on the plane I instantly got nervous, I had flown before, but there was at least seats on them, this was like a hollowed out plane, all that was in it was construction equipment locked down to the floor and empty space.

"Well I'd say we don't have assigned seating," Chibs was standing beside me looking around the plane as the guys started claiming their edge of the wall to sit against. I went over and sat down beside where Juice was headed.

"Hey," he smiled at me, I sat down putting both of my bags beside me and putting my knees up under my chin.

"Hey Juicy," no one was really talking as the back of the plane shut and we were in complete darkness before lights around us slowly started flickering on. Hap came and sat down on the other side of me sitting his shit down beside mine so it was like a pile of things separating us. The plane made a loud noise and we started moving, the sound of it accelerating made my nerves go faster. Were pilots that just fly around equipment as safe as the ones the flew people? Did anyone but Oswald even know we were on the plane? When the plane took off from the ground the equipment made noises like they were going to slide back and smash us all but the thick binding keeping them down stopped them from going anywhere.

"I suggest everyone tries to get some sleep," Clay said from his corner beside Gemma, "Its night in Belfast, we won't be getting their until afternoon." mumbles of agreement were heard around the plane and I pulled my back pack out of the pile and put it behind me resting my head on it.

"You shouldn't be going," Happy hissed and I looked over at him giving him a crazy look, "It's dangerous,"

"Jesus Hap, I'm not 12!" I shut my eyes so he would leave me alone. The lights had turned off about an hour into the flight and I couldn't get comfortable, I had stood up and repositioned myself about 100 times, whispers and snores were heard all over the plane and I huffed loudly as I laid down on my side trying to get comfortable again.

"Jesus," Happy's deep voice jumped me in the complete darkness. "Come here," his voice was thick with sleep he either was almost asleep or I just woke him up. I slowly moved over towards him, not really being able to see where I was going I leaned over and felt out until I hit a hard body.

"Thanks," I muttered getting down beside him rolling so my head was on his shoulder and I felt his chin rest on top of my head.

"I want you to stay close to me over there," his strong voice caused goosebumps to rise over my body.

"Happy I'll be.."

"I'm serious Bowie, something isn't right about this shit," his hand started going up and down my back.

"About what?" I asked him and he didn't answer but he shifted and I felt a chapped set of lips press against my forehead. "What are we doing here Hap?" I asked putting my hand on his chest.

"Go to sleep," he laid back down and I wiggled into him drifting into a comfortable sleep.

* * *

So we are going to Ireland boys and girls! And I've got plans! And boy oh boy is Ireland gonna be a slap in the face for Bowie!  
I know people are getting anxious about when or If Happy and Bowie are going to get together.. I've got plans for that too!  
Let me know what you think!  
Shout out to last chapters reviewers!  
bethie86 -Don't all guys blame girls! Assholes!  
Soadarlin - Now they are both killers, they are on an even playing field  
The-New-Akatsuki-Leader - What time should I be at the Airport? I'm going with!  
IRL01 – It's going to be different I promise! We are going on our own Irish adventure  
AJSM -It's in the reachable future...maybe


	18. Chapter 18

I was relieved when we all pulled up to a lot filled with other bikes, we had had an eventful day already; first we had to finish that long ass flight together, all of us were in a mood and sick of being stuck in the small space together. Then once we had finally gotten off the damn flying death trap we had an interesting run in with Irish cops, Ireland was already proving to be a pain in the ass.

"Thank god," I muttered opening the door I was smashed against, too many bodies were in the Jeep we were riding in.

"Here we go," Gemma muttered getting out behind me and heading towards Clay. I quickly walked towards Happy seeing how stiffly he was standing against his bike, he didn't trust the guys around him and he wasn't happy about leaving home, that much was obvious in the way he was watching everyone, like a tiger on the prowl there wasn't a move around him he didn't notice.

"Who is that?" I asked watching Gemma talking to some blonde lady.

"Who?" he was scanning the lot watching everything going on.

"The blonde?" I nodded my head over at Gemma.

"Got to be McGee's old lady," he gruffly answered and I almost felt bad for how uncomfortable I knew he was in this situation.

"Maureen Ashby?" I asked him and he nodded. A younger blond was with her and I lifted my sunglasses off my eyes to get a better look at her; "And the girl?"

"I don't know," she looked like someone I knew but I couldn't put my finger on it, no matter how long I stared at her. "I want you staying with me," he broke my concentration away from the girl.

"What?" I looked at him like he was crazy.

"You're staying with me," he wasn't asking.

"Yeah," I muttered putting my eyes back on the girl and I started walking towards Gemma who was still talking to Ashby.

"Bowie?" A voice stopped me on my path, a voice I didn't think I would ever hear again, my feet stopped moving so fast my top half almost tipped me over, I scanned the crowd for a face that had spit out that voice; I felt my eyes triple in size at the woman they landed on.

"Bowie," her mouth opened again and the voice vibrated off every corner of my skull. I hadn't remembered anything about her until that very moment, I had thought I forgot what she sounded like years ago, when she had died. She moved closer to me and I still couldn't move; at that very moment I had the urge to grab the phone out of my pocket and call my dad, wondering if he would pick up too.

Gemma's body cut the woman off from my path. "Don't you talk to her you junkie bitch!" Gemma snapped at the woman and I finally moved around her frame.

"Gemma, always a pleasure," the woman said to her

"Why are you in Belfast?" Gemma asked her and I kept staring my mouth gaped open, Gemma was growling at her like she wasn't talking to a dead woman.

"Bowie," she said again and my brain started to make me blink hoping she would go away, make since of this; but she didn't. I was staring at Rebecca Moore, a woman that had been gone for 21 years, my dead mother.

"I said don't talk to her!" Gemma moved on the woman and Clay came up beside me; I didn't say anything because I was in shock. I had always been told that Rebecca died of an over dose years ago, she didn't get a marked grave or a head stone because she didn't deserve one. But I knew she was alive and in front of me as sure as I could feel that breeze on my arms and the sun on my face.

"Holy shit," Jax said coming up beside me watching her too, he had been older than me, had known her longer, "Rebecca?" he muttered looking at her like she was the crazy one.

"Jackson, look how big you are," She smiled until she moved her sights back on me, "You're beautiful baby," my heart was beating its own tune, and I was trying to rationalize how this woman was standing in front of me.

"When we told you to leave, we didn't mean Ireland," Gemma hissed at her and I looked away from her for the first time, looking at my mother figure snapping at my real mother, and for the first time I saw the peak of her horns shining through, all these years I had been told she was dead and Gemma had known that she wasn't. I turned around to clear my head, not being able to look at the crowd in front of me and just about slammed into Happy's chest.

"Who is that?" he asked looking over his shoulder. I knew he saw it just like I did when I was little and had looked at pictures of her, she could have been my twin if we hadn't be so far apart in age, I was the spitting image of her I had been since I was born, but I was 100 percent my dad's personality.

"Rebecca Moore," I told him shoving past him not knowing exactly where I was going, if I was home I would of taken off and drove until I could think straight but here in Ireland where I didn't know the way to anywhere I was stuck. A rough and calloused hand grabbed my arm stopping me from moving.

"I thought she was.." Happy began.

"Dead," I cut him off. "She was supposed to be," I pulled my arm and out of his grasp and walked away.

* * *

"Have a good nap?" Gemma was sitting on the bed beside mine when I opened my eyes. After I had walked away from Happy a blonde women had stopped me and told me where I would be staying thankfully so I could get away from everyone, my eyes met a matching set before I followed the woman into the apartment and laid down before quickly falling asleep.

"No I had dreams about people coming back from the dead,"

"It was what we had to do!" Gemma stood up putting her hands on her hips; I mimicked her movements moving closer to her.

"And why was that?"

"Because that crank whore tried to take YOU!" I gave her a confused look, "One day Troy came home, all your shit was gone, she had split with you!"

"You told me she died of an overdose!" my blood was pumping a mile a minute listening to this shit that was coming out of her mouth; a story 19 years too late.

"What else were we supposed to tell a little girl crying for her Mommy?" Gemma questioned moving her mental chess piece trying to figure out my next move.

"The truth!"

"She made it to Oregon before she stopped at a drug den, you two lived there for 3 days before Troy caught up with you, you hadn't eaten, hadn't been bathed!" she took a deep breath, "We did tell you the truth because that bitch was dead to us!"

"And you've had 20 damn years to come out with the truth it didn't cross your mind?"

"Not until today!" she admitted, "I didn't know she was in Ireland or maybe I would of mentioned it a little earlier, last I heard she was in Canada!"

"and when was that?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"15 years ago!" she tried to explain to me reaching out and grabbing the end of my ponytail that was sitting over my shoulder and twirling it around her finger, "We did it for your own good baby,"

"Who are you to decide what my own good is?"

"I don't know...how about the fact that I am the woman that raised you!" she snapped letting my hair fall.

"Because you told me my real mother was dead!"

"Hey," Jax came into the doorway, "We okay in here?"

"Yeah," Gemma answered for us, and I just stared at Jax, had he known about Rebecca?

"Picture perfect," I spat pushing past both Tellers.

"Bowie," another voice I hadn't heard in years met my ears but this time it only brought a smile to my face.

"Fi," I wrapped myself around Fiona Larkin, I had probably only been exposed to her two weeks total in my whole life but she made a lasting Impression, the first time I had met her I was just a little girl it was before shit went down with Jimmy and Chibs was over doing some business with SAMCRO and I instantly stuck to her, to Gemma's displeasure,"

"You okay Love?" she asked when we pulled apart, clearly she had heard what happened, which meant she knew about Rebecca as well. She saw the look on my face when she asked me the question and pulled me back in again, "I didn't know it was you,"

"What?" I whispered back and she let go of me and moved to the couch beside Chibs. The club was trying to get information out of Fiona about what was going on in Ireland and I just sat there beside Opie thinking about Rebecca. She didn't look anything like how I remembered her, memories that were just popping to the surface. I didn't even know if the memories were real or if they were just put in my head by the people that were supposed to love and take care of me. Not only did Clay and Gemma know about her but a realization had come to me, one I didn't want to admit, my Dad had known she wasn't dead as well; the man I had looked up to all my life, had lied to me. Now it would be all of me to figure out what the hell had happened all those years ago.

"I'll be back," I told Opie standing up slowly trying not to drag attention to myself but Happy noticed me moving and followed me out through the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"A walk;I need to clear my head," I just hoped I ran into Rebecca on the walk.

"I'll go with you," I turned my back to him and rolled my eyes, I just didn't know how I was going to run into her with Happy on my trail.

I walked off the lot and down the road not knowing where I was going but I knew I had to go somewhere, I had told him I was going. Happy fell into step with me, silently walking looking for danger around every corner.

"What do you think you are going to do?" he finally spoke up.

"About what?" I asked him still walking.

"About her, about Gemma," he put a toothpick in his mouth from his pocket, "Starting war with Gemma isn't good for either of you,"

"Why is everything war with you?" we turned a corner away from the city.

"Because that's all life is," he shrugged his shoulders, "Fighting to stay alive until you die,"

"What is this Happy?" I turned towards him once we got to the edge of the Forest. Somehow running through the Irish country side didn't sound like a good idea at the moment. "What the fuck are we doing?"

"What do you mean?" he tried to act like he didn't know what I was talking about but his was grinding his back teeth that was apparent by the bone flexing on the side of his head.

"This shit, you out here with me! We stayed together the last few nights, then on the plane," I knew now really wasn't the time, but I was wanting to think and talk about anything but what was about to go down when I ran into Rebecca. "If you just want to fuck me it's not going to happen!"

He stared at me for a while spinning the tooth pick in his mouth. "You really think I would go through all this shit just to fuck you?! If I want to fuck someone I have more than enough choices!"

"Then what is this?" I asked again.

"I don't just fucking cuddle with someone, I fuck sluts and then I kick them to the curb, I don't know what it is with you! Why you are over thinking this shit, isn't it obvious! I can't get you our of my fucking head Bowie, you've been running laps in it since I first saw you, since you first clawed your nails in me," I couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth , it wasn't like Happy to say shit like that, even if he was saying it as roughly as he was.

"You stopped me the other night," I reminded him remembering the night at Katie's house, he had pulled me away from him.

"Because then wasn't the time,"

"For what?"

"This shit, this what are we bullshit, if we fucked then you'd be asking these damn questions that I don't have the answers for."

"We didn't fuck and I still asked," I pointed out to him. "So it was a pointless move,"

"You're right," he walked up to me grabbing my arm and every nerve ending in my body lite up as he started dragging me towards the forest.

"Hap?" I questioned and he grunted not answering. "Where are we going?" I tried to stop us from moving but he just pulled me harder. We were barely in the woods before the moisture in the air was sticking to our skin and Happy turned towards me throwing his tooth pick on the ground.

"Stop asking so many fucking questions," he grabbed the back of my head and brought our lips together, and my hands instantly went to the back of his holding his head to mine, he had pulled us apart too many times over the last few days. He didn't waste any time moving his lips to my throat and his calloused hands were up my shirt pulling it up over my head.

"Happy," I said trying to make it sound like a question but it was more of a moan as he went back to my neck.

"Shut the fuck up," he ran his teeth down to my collar bone and my hands automatically went to his shirt pulling it up over his head. He put our lips back together, and his hands went down towards the button of my jeans, I deepened the kiss so far I was pretty sure I could of hit the back of his throat with my teeth if I tried, every move we made was in sync. Hap ripped down my jeans till they hit my thighs where they got tight, and our mouth moved apart as he looked down at my jeans. His next move was completely primal, there was something about him, some kind of fire that he sat inside of my all those years ago that I never could quite put out, I had been with guys after he left and none of them had even made me feel like I did at this very moment and he had barely touched me. "You're mine," he muttered before he pushed me over; my hands shoving into the dirt on the ground and the small rocks dug in but I didn't care, I felt a hard slap on my ass and I knew that the lace print of my underwear was going to be imprinted on my cheek. This power push was a fight I knew I wasn't going to win, but I still knew I had to try, I pushed back against him trying to knock him over but I didn't receive anything but a growl from him I tried to stand up and he shoved me back over I was bent over in the woods of Ireland with him when I should be doing anything else, I had just come across a new shit storm but here I was. I threw my head back to look at him and a smirk was across his face before I heard a zipper and he pulled my panties to the side.

* * *

"Where were you two?" Bobby asked when Happy and I walked back onto the lot.

"A walk," I told the curly haired man and Bobby looked me up and down, I was sure I looked a wreck, I knew for a back there was dirt in my hair I had ended up laying on the ground and my clothes looked like I had been wearing them for a week, of course Happy looked completely normal, not even a wrinkle on his SAMCRO shirt. "Okay, sure," Bobby said keeping his eyes on me.

"Where is everyone?" Hap asked looking around clearly he didn't see who he was looking for.

"Taking Fiona and Kerianne back to the church,"

"Gemma?" I asked Bobby,

"Inside," I went past them and started into the apartment we hopefully wouldn't be staying in long, but I was cut off.

"Hey," everything I had blocked out in the woods with Happy came rushing back in. "Can I talk to you?" Rebecca asked standing in front of the door.

"About what?" I crossed my arms over my chest my usual stance these days.

"About the weather," she shook her head, "What the hell do you think about,"

"How you stole me, left me in a drug den?" she scrunched up her face at me.

"I don't know what you think you know, but you're wrong," she reached out to touch my face but I backed up away from her outstretched hand. "I tried to get you away from this shit," she looked around the lot where tons of bikers were, slutty woman standing around them, Bobby and Happy were watching us, Happy's black eyes met mine before I turned back to her. "But from where I'm standing," she poked my neck and I felt a sting of pain, where I knew Happy had left a bite mark."You don't want out,"

"So you ran to another Charter? That's how you got out of this shit?"

"Once I lost you, I didn't care where I landed," the door behind her opened and Gemma filled it.

"You still darkening my doorstep after all these years,"

"What kind of shit have you been feeding her Gemma?" Rebecca bucked up to Gemma and I felt my eyes widen, I knew that wasn't a good choice on her part.

"The truth, you junkie whore!" Gemma moved even closer to her, "Now you stay away from my daughter, or I will make sure that you are dead this time," Gemma warned her before Clay pushed past both woman yelling at Bobby and Hap.

"The guys were in a drive by," he told his brothers when they got in ear shot.

"Holy shit!" Gemma said, "They okay?"

"Everyone is whole," Clay said before he stopped speaking and looked over at Rebecca staring her down; he kept eye contact with her for a while before she took off towards the rest of the people on the lot. "We're around the table," he told the guys and Happy met my eyes before turning and following behind Clay.

"You doing okay? Jesus it looks like he raped you," Gemma was looking me up and down like Bobby had only difference was she never kept her mouth shut.

"I'm fine," I went past her and into the apartment.

"You two must have hot damn sex," she was behind me and I felt something tug on my hair and I looked back at her ready to cuss her for pulling it and she had a few leaves in her hand.

* * *

Okay I know it's short, I've been sicker than a damn dog all week. Let me know what you think.

I don't write sex scenes it's not my thing but what does this little forest incident mean for Happy and Bowie?

What is really going on with Rebecca?

I don't own anything SOA

What should happen next?


	19. Chapter 19

"You can't stay mad at me forever," Gemma sat down beside me at a picnic table later that night. There was a party going down to welcome the guys to Ireland. I had been sitting with two beers in front of me watching the O'Neil guy everyone was so worried about fighting some other SAMBEL member. I was glad to have a moment to myself, I of course was going over everything that had happened between Happy and I in the woods, and running over all the facts I knew about Rebecca that could be helpful now that I knew she wasn't dead, and the fact that my Dad was; so I definitely couldn't call him.

"No, but I can for the next 20 years, that's how long you've been lying to me," I looked over at her, something was really bothering her about being here way before the shit went down between us, usually I would force it out of her, but now I couldn't bring myself to truly care.

"Guess I couldn't blame you," she crossed her arms, she blamed me.

"What do you want Gemma?" I picked up my beer chugging it back.

"I wanted to make sure my daughter was okay...after that went down," she tilted her head in Happy's direction.

"That is the least of my problems," he was standing around one of the barrels with a fire lit watching the fight going on with Bobby and Juice, a bunch of slutty Irish girls standing around them, trying to make conversation, but he was too into the fight, he kept his arms crossed and his eyes on it, tilting just the smallest bit with the movement of the fighters, you wouldn't even notice it if you weren't sitting still.

"That is your only problem," I looked back at her, "Rebecca shouldn't be a second thought in your mind baby," she lit a cigarette, "She abandoned you"

"That's not her story," I informed her taking another swig.

"Her story, is bullshit, whatever it is," she stood up as the younger girl from earlier and her friends came over and sat on the other side of the picnic table, their backs to us. "You know who to ask when you are doubting everything," Gemma put her hand on my shoulder before she left.

"Hi," the girl turned towards me, "Name's Trinity," I couldn't help but just watch her, she looked like someone I knew but I couldn't put a finger on it.

"Bowie," I smiled at her and she nodded.

"Who are you with?" The girl with her asked smiling at me.

"What?" I questioned her my smile falling.

"Which one is your old man?" she looked out where the guys were all standing.

"None of them," I stared the girl down, she must be new to the scene she was too nosy; she was pretty and had skimpy clothes on even though the air that was blowing cut right through you it was so cold coming off the bay. I knew what those few components and her question meant, Crow Eater. She was just making sure she didn't get my man before she set her claws into someone.

"Aye," she said before she stood up taking off towards the guys.

"Sorry bout her," Trinity was watching her go as well, "She's a whore,"

"I see that," she stopped beside Juice and put her hand on his chest.

O'Neil started yelling about something in the center of the group of guys, putting up his biceps and kissing them. "Who's next!" he yelled to them and I was surprised Happy didn't jump to the opportunity but Jax took the shot. He came over to the table we were at and took off his shirt setting it beside me.

"I'll wrap you up!" Trinity said to him standing up.

"You owe me, I basically took a bullet for you," he smirked at the girl. I knew it was wrong Tara was home pregnant with his kid, but I had learned long ago when we were just little that the best place for me to be was out of Jax's love life, or lack there of, I had hated Wendy and I made sure he knew it, it had caused a major drift between us when he married her ass. I had stayed home pouting in my own misery at the fact that my brother was going down the isle with that druggie whore, she had started out a crow eater sleeping with everyone she could get her grubby little hands on and after a month of sleeping together they decided to get married.

"Win," I smiled at Jax when he took his attention off the girl in front of him.

"You know I will," he smirked at me and I folded his shirt putting it on the table.

"You close to him?" Trinity asked watching him walk away and I stood up.

"He's like my brother, we grew up together,"

"That's nice," she smiled at me, "I grew up alone,"

I walked over to Bobby and leaned against him, Happy was up in the front of the group of guys now, rooting on Jax while he fought. "Hey Darling," he smiled over at me.

"Hey,"

"You okay?" Bobby wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"I was told to find the truth from the one person I knew would tell me it," I said close to his ear the group around us was getting louder. He wrapped his arm around mine and lead me towards the back of the pack.

"Rebecca?"

"Yeah, what happened, I've heard two different stories,"

"Well what have you heard?" he inquired before taking a swig of the whiskey bottle he was holding.

"That doesn't matter, I want to hear what happened," I wasn't going to give him either side of the story that I had heard I just wanted to know what he knew.

"Troy and her hadn't been together since you were born, they were a volatile mixture, I don't know why she split, she had been on a pretty big bender that year, you were living with your Dad full time at that point," I didn't remember any of the shit he was telling me.

"I used to live with her?" I asked him, I had only remembered ever living with my dad.

"Yeah, when you were first born you lived with her, in this shitty apartment in Oakland, she O.D when you were 1, you were the only one there with her, the teenager that baby sat you came over to get paid for the weekend and you were laying beside her on the floor crying." Bobby looked down at his feet before he kept on, "That's when Troy took you and you lived with him after that," he ran his hand down his beard.

"You lied to me about her being dead,"

"When she took you, I was with when we found you, you looked like shit, you were starving, your hair was so knotted that it was stuck in a pony tail, there were drugs all around you and the man she was shacking up with was creepy, like really creepy," Bobby stopped and choked on his speech, "Jesus I don't know if we hadn't of found you that you would have been alive much longer," I couldn't imagine what Bobby was seeing in his head, but I also had a shadow of doubt burning in the back of my brain, I knew who these guys were.

"Why didn't you kill her?"

"That scum bag she was with held a gun to your head," his eyes blanked out like he was reliving the memory. "We took you and let her go, she was gone when we went back to kill her,"

"And lied to me about it,"

"We weren't lying, she was dead to us," He almost copied Gemma's words from earlier verbatim.

"Yeah well, she's not dead to me, not now," I was more confused then ever, it was too simple; to easy of an explanation, it couldn't' be this black and white.

"You're dad didn't want you to know how horrible of a person she was, it was easier to lie than tell you the truth." he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. "Get to know her, the truth will come out you can only hide the person you really are so deep."

"I'm learning that about everyone today," I said to him before walking back to the picnic table I was at. Happy was getting ready to fight pulling his t-shirt off leaving him in a white wife beater and a few of the girls standing around him were watching him a little too closely, one of them was even holding onto his t-shirt he had just removed. But I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment, Bobby's words were running through my head.

Jax was walking off with a man in black robes out behind Happy's fight I could see them behind the pack that was watching.

I should of stayed in Charming that much was for sure.

* * *

When I opened my eyes the next morning I groaned in pain, sleeping on a twin sized bed with Happy was one of the most uncomfortable things, we were too big so we had spent hours trying to get to a spot where we could stand to even shut our eyes, and the fact that Juice was on the bed beside us made it worse, he had kept talking to us most of the night finally Happy threatened to beat the shit out of him if he didn't stop and we all feel into an uncomfortable silence before Juice's light snore filled the room.

"Fuck this bed," Happy grunted tilting his head cracking his neck.

"Morning," we both looked over at Juice who was smiling from ear to ear and stared him down. "Okay," his smile dropped and he got up off the bed leaving us alone.

'Morning," Happy said this time and pressed a kiss to the middle of my forehead.

"Did you know?" I asked gruffly, I had argued with myself most of the night on asking him if he was involved with the lie.

"Know what?" he looked down at my his face falling in it's usual sullen look.

"About her still being alive," I sat up against the wall pulling my knees up under my chin.

"You really think they would tell me some shit like that?" he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I don't know what to think anymore," he stood up keeping eye contact with me. "I can't get behind a group of people who would be spouting the same lie for 20 years,"

"What would be any different of you had known?" he asked and I looked at him my brain running a mile a minute, he was right and I knew that what would I do, live in Ireland with her?

"I'm not sure," I admitted to him.

"We are making a run with the Irish today, take the day to think about it," he pulled a shirt on over his head "Decide what you can and can't get behind, because this is it for me," and stormed out the door.

"God I can't believe how big you've gotten," Fiona said to me while we were eating lunch, the guys had left a few hours ago and we were all sitting around, waiting on them. It was like our lives, or hearts, didn't beat without them around.

"I can't believe how old you've gotten," I smiled at her, before taking a drink of the water in front of me. Chibs daughter was sitting beside her ear phones hanging out of her ears and I wondered where she fell into all of this, she was mixed up with all this IRA shit like I had been SOA my whole life, but she seemed different, more effected by what was going on around her, she still had her humanity, the moves people made still effected her. Three years ago I was shacked up with someone whose nick name literally had the word killer in it and smiley faces tattooed on his abdominal to show how many hits he had made. But just by watching her I could tell she was different, she was just standing around waiting to run away from all of it.

"Hi," her voice met my ears and every head in the room turned towards the doorway, Rebecca was standing there in all her glory.

"What are you doing here?" Gemma asked standing up and moving towards her.

"This is my home Gemma," Maureen warned, "Beck is welcome here," it seemed so strange to hear that she had a nick name, that she was a human.

"I came here to talk to Bowie," Gemma blocked her view of me with her body.

"She's not going anywhere with you,"

"I'll go," I stood up and moved around Gemma, Bobby's voice replaying in my head, he was right, if Rebecca was lying she wouldn't be able to hide it for long.

"Bowie," Gemma tried to warn me.

"I'll be fine," I assured her and followed Rebecca down the stairs and we sat on a picnic table in front of Ashby's store.

"Thanks for that, I forgot how much of...a personality she was," her smile matched mine and for some reason it made me feel sick.

"Yeah, she's a bitch," I sat down at a picnic table and she sat across from me.

"You're beautiful,"

"You said that before, what do you want?" I questioned her trying my best to put on the face I had seen many times on Happy's.

"I'm not sure, just wanted to see you," she dropped her smile when she saw my face. "You seem lost baby,"

"This isn't about me," I warned her, "How come if you care about me so much you didn't come get me?"

She thought before she answered my question, "Because I didn't know what would happen to you if we got in that situation," she crossed her arms and I noticed small scars on her arms, track marks. All my questions should have been answered right there, what they were spitting at me was true.

"Like what?" she didn't say anything, "You were afraid they'd kill you so you stayed away," I answered for her.

"Yeah, I was afraid, I tried to take you away from all of this, but Gemma had her hooks in you, in everything,"

"Take me away from what?"

"The deaths, the rival clubs, the whores, the drugs,"

"The drugs?" I asked drawing attention to her arms, "Looks like you didn't do good staying away from those either,"

"We all have a past Bowie," her smile came back, "I didn't want this life for you, you having to run around with this mask on, keeping a hard face for everyone,"

"Don't act like you know anything about me," I could tell by the way her face fell for a brief moment that my words had cut her, "You left and didn't look back,"

"I want to show you something," a smile came across her face again and she held out her hand.

"What?" I asked looking at her hand, her nails were baby pink and filed off square, they were too perfect for all the things I had heard about her.

"Trust me, what's the worst that can happen?" I looked into my eyes only they were on her face.

"Okay," I held out my hand grabbing hers, but that moment was broken up by the squealing of tires as a sleek black car spun out of the empty lot that SAMBEL used. I let go of her hand without saying anything and ran up the stairs to the apartment I had been in earlier, "GEM?" I yelled my stomach bubbling with nerves, I had been mad at her two minutes ago, but the slight thought that something might of happened to her scared the shit out of me.

"Bow?" she yelled back clearly in pain and I swear I could of beaten the flash at that moment to get to her. She was sitting in a chair by the door with Fiona standing beside her both of them looking at the table, it was covered in blood and one of the priest's sidekicks heads were resting on it, a bullet hole straight through it.

"What happened?" I asked putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Jimmy," she informed me before her phone started ringing and she stood up to answer it.

"You okay?" I asked Fi watching Gemma leave, I knew Jimmy wasn't here for us.

"Aye," she sat down at the bloody table.

"Where is Maureen?" Gemma asked us coming back into the kitchen, all the color drained out of her face.

"Checking on the girls," Fiona answered, "Everything okay?" she stood up seeing the woman's face as well.

"There's been an explosion,"

* * *

The guys didn't get back for what seemed like forever, the sun was setting and if I hadn't been so worried about making sure my guys were whole I would of probably been curled in a corner some where having a nap. All of the women involved in the club and some of the hang around and prospects were filling the lot waiting on both clubs to get back. Gemma and I were sitting on top of a table with our feet on the benches, neither of us were breathing, even though we knew all of our guys were alive, it was too close of a call. I didn't want to be the one to call Vic or Tara and tell them about their men, or Katie and tell her about her son.

"Thank god," Gemma stood up, always being the one to hear the bikes first, seconds after she acknowledged it I heard the rumbles in the distance, along with everyone else around who stood up, quiet waiting to see what hell followed them, if their love ones would be alive. With every recognizable face I saw pull it I felt myself breathe a little easier, but I was back to normal breathing when the last of the pack pulled in and I saw my favorite angry face and my feet were off going so fast they just about left my body behind.

"You okay," I grabbed the helmet off his head the second he undid it, looking over every inch of him I could see making sure there wasn't any damage, no blood, no scratches, there was just a film of dirt over his exposed skin probably from the explosion.

"Yeah," he grit his teeth, he wouldn't take all this shit well; I knew from Gemma's

call that SAMCRO believed Jimmy had been behind it and it was about to get bloodier than the body that was still leaning on the table upstairs, we had just fallen into a war.

"You okay?" I nodded my head at him.

"I was downstairs when Jimmy was here, I didn't know it until he left," he finally got off the bike and I wrapped my arms around him, but he quickly grabbed me and pulled me off him, I thought I heard my brain completely shut down as he dropped my arms and walked away.

"You know he takes all the weight of this ," a heavy arm fell on my shoulders and I looked over to see Opie he seemed to be favoring one side of his body.

"Yeah," I looked back at where Happy was making his way into the apartment. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just got hit with a piece of the bomb," I drew my attention away from Happy and looked straight at my large brother.

"You were too close," I felt my eyes tear up and I wasn't sure exactly what it was about probably a mixture of all the shit going on, but the final piece was hearing that Opie, and I assumed Jax were that close to an explosion that meant to take them out.

"I'm going to take a shower," he pressed a kiss to my temple and left me standing alone.

"You look lonely," I had been sitting outside for hours after the guys had got back, I knew I didn't want to go in and deal with the stress level the guys would be in after that attack, and I definitely didn't want to see Happy so I had stayed outside with a few beers watching the crowds come and go as they got the news of today's activities.

"Just thinking," I informed her.

"That's dangerous, you do that too much and you forget to live,"

"I'm not really up for your words of wisdom at the moment," I snarled at her, truth was I didn't know what to say anymore, I could only replay what had happened between Happy and I yesterday and then when he got back this afternoon.

"Good, " she said smiling, "I'm running out of them," she held out her hand again like she had earlier, "Lets get out of here," I looked at the hand before grabbing it again.

"I should go tell them where I'm going,"

"I think they were having church," she said quickly, "I'll have you back before they know you are gone, I just wanted to show you something,"

"Okay," I agreed with her their was no reason to tell them I was leaving, they would just insist that I couldn't without someone going with me.

Rebecca drove us in her small sports car for a short period of time before she stopped in front of a nice gray house.

"This your house?" I asked her and just about laughed at the white picket fence in front of it and a flower bed under each front window.

"Yeah," she turned off the car and got out, waiting on me. I followed her up the path and into the house instantly feeling a soothing heat hit my face that I knew had turned red from the cold air.

"I wanted to show you something," she smiled again and this time it was almost creepy, the inside of the house was sketchy, it was dirty and their were no pictures, furniture or anything else in the house.

"You don't have any..." I began to ask her about the lack of belongings when another body started down the hall.

"Took you long enough!" an Irish voice said to her and she turned the hall way light on.

"Sorry baby, you and Jimmy distracted us earlier!" a man in an all black suit was standing in front of us, a gun drawn on me.

"Hi Bowie, glad to finally meet you," he didn't smile and kept the gun pointed at me.

"Bowie, this is my boyfriend, Donny," I tried to back up but she was right behind me her hot breath blowing against my ears.

Another guy came down the hall behind her and just by the way he walked I knew who he was.

"Hello Love, you're going to help me," Jimmy O smiled at me.

* * *

Let me know what you think!

What does Jimmy want with Bowie?

So does this mean her mom is a liar?

What is Happy's problem?

I don't own anything SOA


	20. Chapter 20

"Sorry about that Darling," Rebecca leaned down in front of the chair I was tied up in, her heels made noise on the plastic tarp my chair was on top of, I had watched enough mob movies to know that it wasn't a good thing. She reached out and pushed my hair out of my face, "I meant it, you really are beautiful, but you've got too much of that bastard in you,"

"Don't talk about him,whore" I hissed at her, letting her know not to talk about my Dad that way.

"He had you fooled didn't he?" her sick smile spread again, "When he found out I was pregnant with you he handed me a wad of cash to get rid of you," her hand ran down my cheek. She wasn't telling me anything I didn't know, Dad had told me a million times he wasn't ready for me until he held me in his arms. "But what does that make you? The daughter of a whore and a biker? Seems like you followed right in our footsteps."

"I don't know if you think your words are going to bother me, but I don't really listen to the words of dead women,"

"That hurt at first you know, finding out that you thought I was dead," she huffed and I really saw the crazy in her eyes as she blinked, "But I rather of had you think I was dead then listen to the lies they would of told you about me,"

"From where I'm sitting, they don't seem like lies," The guy she had called Donny came into the room.

"They were, everything I did, I did for you," she ran her hand down my face again, "my sweet baby girl,"

"Enough Beck," Donny pulled her away from me. "We finally meet Bowie, your mom has told me a lot about you," he smirked and I was sure that I was in a psych ward, both of them were crazy.

"Sorry, haven't heard much about you," I narrowed my eyes at him, "Now cut the shit, what do you want?"

"Tough girl, I like that," he smiled putting on a pair of gloves. "First we need to make sure the Counsel knows we have you,"

"Hate to break it to you, but the IRA doesn't really care about me," I kept my face stern and strong watching him as he pulled out a knife.

"No," he ran the knife across my throat and I felt blood trickle to the surface ,"But the Sons care," he kept the knife on my throat and reached up to my ear, tugging down as hard as he could and I felt red hot pain in the lobe as he showed me my earring which was covered in blood and I could feel more trickling down my throat from my ear. "That's a girl, not even a tear," Rebecca was standing over his shoulder watching us.

"That it?" Rebecca asked? "Pull out her earring?" I wanted to believe that she was trapped into doing this some where deep in my mind but hearing those words coming out of her mouth I knew she 100 percent was behind what ever happened to me. Gemma and all of them had been right, she was a bitch, clearly an unfit mother.

"For now," he turned towards her handing her my bloody earring, "Make sure they find it,"

* * *

 **Happy's POV**

I didn't know how shit had gotten so messed up with Bowie, I knew better than to follow her out into the woods yesterday; shit with us had circling around whatever the fuck it was and we used to be. It took me back to a place I shouldn't of gone back into and waking up with her in my arms made it seem all to real, but what else was real was the fact that someone had tried to blow us up and once again she was stuck waiting to see if I was alive or not. It wasn't fair to her, she was too good of a girl to be with me, a killer from Bakersfield that will be nothing more than that ever. I knew I needed to let her go, but every time I came to that conclusion I got one look at her again, taking care of Katie or being the girl I knew she was and I was sucked right back in, stuck. I claimed her at church and I had meant it, because I couldn't be held accountable for what I would do if any of my brothers put their hands on her in that way; but I also knew it was wrong of me to keep her all to myself; I didn't deserve that kind of happiness not with all the shit this life would put on her.

"Has anyone seen Bowie?" Gemma came into the dining room where we were all setting around playing poker and bullshitting, the mother had a look of panic on her face.

"Haven't seen her , thought she was with you," Clay told his wife and my hands were already locked into fists under the table.

"Kellen Ashby dragged us off the the church, she wasn't with," Gemma informed us and I thought my back teeth were breaking the way my jaw locked, "God damn it, Rebecca, she had gone off and spoken with her earlier,"

"We don't know that's where she is," Bobby tried to calm us all down, everyone was tense; if Jax had been the prince of SAMCRO than Bowie was the princess.

"Yes we do! Where else would she be? That's psycho druggie has her!" The door opened up behind Gemma and the priest and Sean Casey stepped inside.

"She's right, they've got her," he handed something to Clay and he dropped it on the table after examining it. A diamond earring fell on the table, ones Bowie always wore and I think my soul escaped my body and heard a crack as I tightened my fists even tighter, most of the guys eyes landing on me.

"Who is they?" Clay asked the priest.

"Jimmy," I stood up and a crash was heard as I flipped the table with me as I approached the priest, multiple sets of hands were grabbing me trying to hold me back but it sounded like they were in the distance, like I was under water.

"Where is she?" I asked him getting so close I could feel his breath on my face, hands were still trying to pull me back.

"I don't know," the priest said, wrong answer. The cold metal of my gun was in my hand as I held it up to the priest's head.

"Where is she?" I growled and Casey held his gun up to me.

"I'm not afraid to die," I informed the man keeping my gun to Ashby, "Where is she?"

"All we have is that earring, Rebecca dropped it off, said they would be in contact,"

"What do they want with her?" I pushed the gun harder to his temple, "What do they need her for?"

"If Jimmy knows we are going to try and take him out," he swallowed and I heard the gulp of spit go down keeping my eyes locked on him, not blinking, nothing else distracting me, I was watching him so closely I swear I could see the gears grinding in his head.

"He's going to need a hostage," Jax finished for him.

* * *

 **Bowie's POV**

Two days had come and gone since I had been taken and the only person I had seen was Rebecca who would come down, let me go to the bathroom at gun point and tie me back up; she kept my mouth duck taped and didn't say anything to me until the last time I ever saw her.

"Donny and Jimmy have gone to get that boy," her personality had completely changed since I had first seen her, all the peppy cheer was gone and it was filled with a mono tone voice and look, I knew by the bruises on her face and the yelling I heard at night that Donny beat her, called her all sorts of names I could barely make out and she would come downstairs crying to let me go to the bathroom. I was so hungry I thought my stomach was going to eat my spine and my mouth was so dry that it hurt; but otherwise than that I was fine. Rebecca dragged a chair from the other side of the room sitting down with her gun pointed at me. "They aren't going to need you alive anymore if they find that baby," she ran her free hand through her hair huffing, "I tried to keep you alive," That was such bullshit, she was the one that had brought me here, kept me tied up. I wiggled my wrist behind me feeling the slack I had worked on, I knew my wrists were raw and bloody but I was making enough headway that I would be able to get a wrist out in a few hours. "At your funeral I hope they talk about who really caused this, why you are being put in the ground so early, Troy should of let me take you, let me get you out of this life," she stood up and walked closer to me getting in my face again, ripping the duck tape off my mouth causing a sting to spread over my lips and I quickly rubbed them together trying to soothe it. "They will have no one to blame but your Daddy," she smiled, "Or that psycho you've been fucking," she leaned in even closer our noses were touching and she pursed her lips pressing a light kiss to mine, "But let me tell you a secret," she said against my lips and I saw my moment, I pulled my head back and slammed it into hers as hard as I could, I heard both of the bones slamming against each other and her form fall, I had to keep breathing in deeply trying to keep myself from passing out and I picked up my feet slamming it against her head, making sure she wouldn't get back up for a while.

"I told you not to talk about my Dad," I couldn't help myself I kicked her in the head again.

I didn't know how long it took me to finally get my hands untied but I eventually pulled my bloody hands and wrists out from behind me and shook them trying to get circulation to flow again; Standing up was more difficult then I thought if would have been of course I had never set down for over 48 hours before. I stepped over Rebecca's form my body humming with adrenaline as I picked up her gun. I should of left when I heard her waking up, just ran when I had the chance, but she muttered my name and tried sitting up, her nose was shattered, her face covered in blood.

"You could of gotten out, left the MC behind, been with me like you were supposed to be," she held her nose.

"I belong with them, they are my family," I told her holding her gun out to her.

"Don't fool yourself, no one belongs in this life, you're ways of right and wrong are messed up baby, you'll be sitting in hell wishing you would of listened to your Mama," she smiled and I turned away from her going towards the door she always came in and out of, "God knew what he was doing when he took that baby away from you and that biker, he could of never been a father, just like yours," my teeth locked like Happy's always did and I turned on her, feeling the gun I didn't even realize I was holding out recoil as the bullet left the chamber, landing right in her shoulder and I pulled it again, this time hitting her in the chest. Her body was back limply on the floor, blood running out of her chest where the bullets had hit her and she still had that sick smile on her face even in death and I turned away from her for the last time, now Rebecca Moore really was dead.

The house was still empty when I got up out of the basement they were keeping me in and I kept the gun pointed out as I maneuvered through it, thinking about how screwed I was, I didn't know where I was or how to get back to SAMBEL's club house and I didn't have a phone to call anybody. Hell for all I knew I was in a damn different country, I knew she hadn't driven very far when we left the lot but I couldn't of told you the first turn she made.

I saw the empty hall way we had first come into and I started running glad to see the door but suddenly it flew open and in walked Donny, who quickly noticed me and held his gun up, Jimmy coming in behind him.

"How did you get out?" Donny asked and I just kept the gun up.

"Donny," Jimmy came around him and I gasped at what was in his arms, Abel. "Put it down," Jimmy ordered him and when he didn't do it he reprimanded him, "NOW!" he put his gun down and held his hands up. Jimmy turned his attention to me, "What are you gonna do love, seems to me like you're in a rock and a hard place, I got yah nephew," he looked down at Abel. "It will take more than a bullet to get this lad out of my arms,"

"Give me Abel," I ordered him pointing my gun at him and he moved putting his gun to Abel's small body and a small cry came down the hall way we were in.

"Neither of you have to die Love," he looked back at me, "I don't want you or the lad, I want the priest, it's the only way the counsel will get me passage out of Belfast, you really think they care about either of you?"

"Give me him, we are leaving,"

"No love, that is where you are wrong, now I'll trade yah, the boy for that gun yeah?"

"Then you will hurt him anyways," I knew this whole trade you shit it never worked out.

"No Lass, I told you I need you both alive," he moved in closer, his gun still held on Abel's body. "Don't be dim," I dropped the gun and held it out handle side to him. "That's a Lass," he looked down at Abel before handing him over, "He should be proud to have an Aunt like you," we traded and I wrapped my arms around Abel, and I could of let out a cry at the feeling of the baby in my arms, I had never held him before and his small warm body felt foreign in my arms, I think my body even 3 years later was always prepared to hold Harper and Abel just made me feel that pain all over again, but when he started crying I instantly started bouncing him up and down and could of forgotten that I was currently kidnapped an just had traded my freedom for him.

"Hi," I whispered to him and put him on my shoulder.

"Where is Rebecca?" Donny asked finally he had noticed whose gun I had been holding.

"Seems like you'll be needed a new whore yah?" Jimmy tapped his friends shoulder and Donny picked his gun back up. "Come on Love, we've got an exchange to get to," Donny held his gun up to me again making sure I was listening and I started behind Jimmy out the door, Abel falling asleep in my arms.

* * *

"I'll get out, make sure he has no weapons," Donny said as we pulled up in the night to the docks, Jax and the priest were standing against an army Jeep waiting on us.

"Aye, then we exchange them for the priest," Donny got out of the car and I held onto Abel tighter, he was the only thing keeping me sane right now, his weight was keeping me grounded in all of this situation. I had just killed my Mother and I had no regrets about it, that was dangerous, it was two deaths at my hand in the last month and the fact that I was trying to reason Rebecca's death in my head should have been a sign that I was loosing it, she didn't have to die I could of easily tied her up and left, or shot her in the leg so she couldn't follow me but I shot her, twice to make sure she died.

"Come on Lass," Jimmy grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the back seat with him the cool Irish air hit my face and I breathed in deep knowing this was about to go really good or really bad, I was a centimeter close to freedom but I felt like I was twenty miles from it.

"It didn't have to be like this Jackson," Jimmy informed him, "I wanted to give him back to you right away, the priest wanted to keep him," Jimmy let go of me in arm's length of Jax and he grabbed my arm.

"Come on," Donny said to Ashby and he started following him to the car as Jax said something to him; the priest said his final words to Jax and walked over to the car with Jimmy.

"You okay?" Jax asked after Jimmy's car pulled away.

"Yeah," I remembered how dry my mouth was as I spoke, wondering how this had gone down so easy, I really had killed her for no reason, if I had waited two hours more I would of still been exchanged only this time Rebecca could of still been alive. After Jax was done holding onto and kissing Abel we got in the Jeep and started towards SAMBEL in silence, Jax clearly knew I didn't want to talk. When we got to the lot all of the club was standing around waiting on us and they charged when we got out of the Jeep, Gemma quickly pulling Abel out of my arms and wrapping herself around me.

"You okay?" she asked kissing my temple and I nodded.

"I'm sorry," I said and she quickly shushed me wrapping me in tighter.

"Where is she?" she questioned looking down at me.

"Gone," I replied putting a hand on Abel's back before moving away from the grandmother and starting towards the apartment.

"Bowie," Happy yelled coming up to me, running his eyes over me from head to foot.

* * *

 **Happy's POV**

She looked fine, not much blood was on her but some dried on her throat and her shoulder that had clearly dropped off her ear that had been split and her wrists were bright red and rubbed raw; but seeing that little bit of blood tripled my anger, this happened because she was here, with me. She had stayed when she was 18 for me. The guy inside my head clearly didn't speak for my body because her body was in my arms within a blink of an eye and she stiffed up against my chest.

"I killed her," she said into my chest, "I shot her in the chest," she started sobbing in my arms and at that moment I knew I needed to get her out of this life.

* * *

 **Bowie's POV**

Happy held me tight while I cried into his chest, he only ran his hand up and down my back and listened to me admit to the murder I had committed, rather she was crazy or not I had killed my own mother a I was a murder; and he just kept rubbing his hand up and down my back and something hit me at the moment. I wanted Happy Lowman back.

* * *

Let me know what you think!

We are at Chapter 20 boys and girls! What is going to happen next? One wants to get rid of the other. Is there hope for them? Especially with jail time lingering.

Thank you to all my reviewers! You all are my favorite! I will call you out individually next chapter! How many reviews can we get before I update again? We are at 140 right now!

Make sure you give me thoughts on what you think should happen!

I don't own anything SOA!

-Bailey


	21. Chapter 21

This chapter is a lot of jumping around I know!

"Don't leave me with that girl again!" Katie said the second I walked into her hospice room, no hello, no missed you and I smiled for the first time since we got home from Ireland this morning. The guys were off to see if they could find Tara, she had also gone missing while we were away, it just wasn't a winning streak for the girls I guess. They seemed to know who had her and when I pulled out of the lot at TM they had dragged some woman in and the Mayans were standing around her with a gun to her head, that was my clue to get the hell out of there.

"She's not that bad," I walked up to where she was sitting in a chair in front of the TV crossing my arms.

"She talks too much," she looked up at me skimming over every inch of my face and I saw another trait Happy had clearly gotten from her she didn't miss a thing."How's my boy?"

"Fine," I nodded at her, "Got some club shit then I'm sure he's heading this way,"

"There is always club shit baby," she slowly stood up and I noticed how much frailer she had gotten even over the last few days that we had been in Ireland, "Don't just stand there give me a damn hug," I wrapped my arms around her and feeling her hold me, a hug from a woman that hadn't done anything but love me for the last 6 years even when I avoided her after the shit went down with Happy, I couldn't help her I started crying..again.

"Awe baby, whatever it is it's okay," she held me longer than she needed to she wasn't rubbing up and down my back or shushing me she was just holding me tight listening to me cry. Finally I calmed down and took my head off her shoulder and held her arms while she sat back down in her chair.

"Feel better?" was the only thing she said, she didn't ask what happened or what had made me so upset.

"I love you," I said to her simply. Sitting down in a fold away chair that was sat up in her small make shift living room.

"Jesus Christ," she shook her head, "I love you too, always will," she turned her attention back to the TV in front of her. "Jax get his boy back?"

"Yeah," I was still watching her.

"ATF agent came around," she said it like she was talking about the sun rising this morning, "An ugly red head,"

"Stahl...what did she want?"

"What they all want," she looked at me, "What they will always want,"

"She's got to be desperate to shlep her ass all they way out here,"

"Well it seems her case had all fled to Ireland," she shrugged her shoulders, "Unsolved mystery,"

"She knew we were there?" I said quietly to her, "and she wasn't waiting for us at the damn air strip?"

"The way she talked, her body language, she's got some kind of deal going on," I looked at her like she was crazy, "She wasn't digging for information, she was informing me of all the shit she knew, seeing if I'd say anything about my son going away for 15 years, trying to play the dying mother card, my son won't be at my funeral,"

"15 years is a long time," Abel would be in high school before they got out, I would be 39, Happy would be over 50.

"Yeah Bowie, it is," she reached out and squeezed my hand."This shit isn't going to go away you know!"

"What shit?" I asked her not sure what she was talking about.

"This shit between you and my son, you'll be standing in the same place you are today in 15 years, so you need to get right with whatever it is before he goes inside, you could move on, get married and have 100 babies and the moment you see him again all this shit will come back,"

"I think that medicine is fucking with your brain," I smiled at the woman.

"You know I'm right, you two are like some fucked up magnet, or the damn sun and the earth you are drawn together, stuck! There is no reason to fight it,"

"You've got too much time on your hands,"

* * *

"God I missed you," Vic smiled at me when I came into the shop, it was completely put back together, windows, seats, sinks everything.

"It looks good in here," I smiled, "How did you get it put together so fast?" I sat my purse down in my chair and went over by the desk where she was sitting.

"Prospects, they didn't have shit to do while you guys were gone," she looked around the place, "It does look good in here doesn't it?" she was truly proud of herself and so was I, Vic wasn't used to being the one to put shit back together she was usually the one tearing things apart. "I saw you holding Abel this morning," she put her hand on her still flat stomach, "That's good I was beginning to think my baby wouldn't get to be held by her god mother,"

"Think it's a girl?" I gave her questioning eyes and a smirk spread across her pretty face.

"Would I have anything but?" we both laughed as I leaned against the wall she had repainted, she had always hated the gray walls we had, so I guess she took the opportunity to paint it a light shade of lavender while I was gone. "So tell me what really happened," her smile fell and she crossed her arms, "You know Opie won't tell me shit,"

I filled her in on the whole story, including the girly shit that had happened.

"Those bastards have been lying all these damn years,"

"Guess it wasn't much of a lie," I shrugged thinking about Rebecca and how crazy she truly was.

"Guess not," she said, "Jesus for 20 years we thought she was dead,"

"And for the next 60 we'll know it's true," she agreed.

"That shit with Happy though," her smile came back, "That shit is hot," I only rolled my eyes at her. "So are you back together?"

"No," I informed her, "He didn't even speak to me on the plane,"

"He probably doesn't like you stepping into his spot,"

"What?" I squinted at her.

"You're new found assassin trait, they'll probably patch you in soon," she laughed and I continued to stare at her, trying not to laugh."Too soon?" she raised an eyebrow at me once she stopped laughing.

"Yeah, too soon," she held her hands up like she was surrendering.

"Don't kill me," and I couldn't help it anymore I started laughing at her.

"You're such a bitch," the bell over the door behind me rang and one of Vic's usual's came in.

"Duty calls," she smiled; her heels making a sound as he feet hit the ground and I went and took the seat she had been occupied pulling out the books to see what kind of damage she had done while I was gone.

"Did you girls hear about the hostage situation in town?" the woman asked after Vic had shampooed her.

"Where?" Vic asked looking out our new window, we were in the center of town we usually saw everything going on.

"A couple of streets over, at Hales, some Mexican has him and some woman," Vic and I's eyes met, apparently they found Tara.

* * *

 **Happy's POV**

"Well glad to see you know your way to your Mother," Katie snapped before I even had my body fully through the door to her room. "Sit," she pointed over at a chair beside hers.

"Yeah," I agreed with her, some shit would never change, I had done many questionable things in my life as a man but I instantly became a boy in the presence of my Mom.

"Bowie was here earlier," she used the remote to mute the TV and put her complete attention towards me. "Crying,"

"She's been through the ringer," I ran my hand over my head not sure how much Bowie had told her.

"Then tell me why she was in Bakersfield in the home of the dead not with you," her voice became vile and she gave me a matching stare to mine, we had beaten this horse to death more than once.

"Because I can't do it Mom," I scoffed, "I can't drag her back into this life, she was kidnapped! She's...taken care of two people since I rolled back into town," I didn't want to come right out and say she killed two women in the hole Katie was being kept in, you never knew who was listening.

"My god you're dim," she scoffed at me, "Just like your damn Daddy," it was an insult she had used my whole life, she didn't even know who my Dad was but anything I did that she didn't agree with she blamed on this mystery man. "This was the life she was born into, you didn't do this to her, her parents did this to her,"

"They are both gone," Truly this time, "You can't blame this on them,"

"She had plenty of opportunity to leave," Katie tried to convince me.

"When? I trapped her straight out of high school, she didn't go to college, knocked her up, abandoned her,"

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me," she pointed out a finger at me, "I love you son," I opened my mouth to say something but she cut me off, "But when you are my age, on your death bed, you're going to be alone if you stay on this path, and that is the last thing I'd ever want for you,"

"Maybe I'm better off that way,"

"No one is, now I don't have much life left in me, but I am hanging on until you two get your asses out of your heads, figure out what you are going to do and give me a damn grandchild," she huffed crossing her arms.

"That ship has already sailed,"

"Good thing you know how to swim then," she turned her attention back to the TV.

"We're going in tomorrow," shit was going down with the Russians and Jimmy tomorrow, we all knew no matter what the outcome with Stahl was we would be inside before night fall rather it be for 15 years or 14 months was yet to be determined.

"You need to make sure that the right person is waiting for you when you get out," she warned me keeping her eyes on the screen, "Tell her how you really feel before it's too late," she knew all of my real feelings about Bowie the shit I didn't let anyone else know, the shit that ate me up inside.

After I had said my goodbye's to Mom I headed over to her house to get some things for the night, and some guns I knew we'd need if shit went south with the Russians, I knew my Aunt wouldn't be around tonight was Bingo night so I moved around with ease setting everything on the table so I could pack it neatly in my backpack. Thoughts were running through my head at what Katie had said, did I really want Bowie waiting around for me for a year? For 15? not knowing what was going to happen when I got out if we would be together for a month get in one of our usual fights and it was all a waste, her life would be spent waiting on a murderer in jail. I loved her, I had before she had even spoken to me all those years ago. I had noticed her way before she had noticed me, we had known each other for a long time but we were always just passing ships not paying attention to each other, never choosing to see each other, I really saw her for the first time with new eyes at Troy's funeral I expected her to be a blubbering mess, her Dad had just been shot down and we weren't exactly sure who had done it, but she was standing like a statue grinding her teeth looking at anything but the hole her old man was going into and we met, it was the first time I had seen anger like that in someone's eyes other than mine or Katie's and I knew I had to know her, pay attention to her, she was instantly on my radar.

I started spinning a pen in my hand trying to keep myself from hitting the wall from the thoughts in my head and before I knew what I was doing I grabbed a abandoned piece of paper on the table and started writing.

* * *

 **Bowie's POV**

Tara ran at me the next morning, we hadn't seen each other I had hung out with Vic at the shop most of the day and then went home and went straight to bed trying to get my body back on CA time.

"You okay?" I asked her after we broke out of our hug, we had never been close until all that shit went down with her and Jax, now I considered her family.

"Yeah, are you?" she asked me, Jax must of sang all about Belfast to her.

"Yeah," I nodded and Jax came up beside us holding Abel.

"There's Aunt Bowie," he bounced the baby before holding him out and I looked at him like he was crazy but I eventually held out my arms and took him. I cooed down at him while his parents made a plate for themselves.

"Morning Darling," Bobby came over and wrapped an arm around me, "Looks like he's happy to be home!"

"Yeah he is," I kept my eyes fixed on Abel.

"Not him," I looked up at where Bobby was looking and Happy was standing in a group with Chibs, Tig, Juice and Kozik drinking shots and eating the plate of food they had made off the breakfast buffet Gemma had made for everyone.

"Yeah, he definitely belongs in the States," I agreed with him. Happy looked over at the two of us and nodded his head, I wasn't sure if it was at me or Bobby. Happy completely avoided me on the plane, he didn't even stare at me like he usually did. He sat on the other side of the plane, the furthest away from me he could be and kept his eyes on anything but.

"He belongs with you," Bobby assured me taking Abel from my arms. "We're going away today,"

"I know," I looked around at the party, "I figured that was why we were having breakfast,"

"Dinner will be at the big house," he bounced Abel around.

"Don't let him kill any one in there Bobby, don't make him be the next Otto," Otto was supposed to go down for a year, it felt like he had been inside for 100 years, and rumor had it he was going to be on death row before the winter.

"Okay," Bobby nodded his head before kissing my cheek and I walked over to the food to fix a plate. You couldn't help but smile at all the laughing guys around you, they knew they were about to be put away for a long time but they kept it cheerful, 15 years would be too long to keep SAMCRO alive, especially with the President, VP and Sargent inside, they would have to give up their position. They wouldn't be able to keep their gun running around for that long with only 3 guys on the outside.

"Jesus how can they be this cheerful?"Vic asked when I sat beside her.

"I was just thinking the same thing," I told her taking a swig of the screw driver I had made for myself, a strong believer that it was never too early for vodka.

"They're up to something," she squinted over at Opie, "They would never go down this peacefully," that was something I hadn't thought of yet, but how were they supposed to argue the facts that were on camera. It would take a lot to get that all worked out, like the grace of god.

"How would they do that?" I questioned her.

"Stahl has been digging around," she looked back over at me lowering her voice. "She knew they were in Belfast, along with Gemma, and here she stands," Stahl knew the guys were back she had been a part of the situation with Tara yesterday. So why was she not in jail? Why had she not picked up the guys for leaving?

"No," I finally realized what she was trying to say.

"Got to be," she looked around at the guys again, "But which one?"

"None of them would make a deal," I didn't know if I was trying to convince her or myself.

"To save SAMCRO I don't think there is much they wouldn't do,"

"Yeah, well if the others find out, whoever that rat is, is dead," I knew that much was true, if there was a rat they had to be giving Stahl something good to get Gemma off the hook for two murders and whatever they had working for club time.

* * *

I pulled up to the club house after Tara had called me and told me to meet her there, the rate I was going I would never get caught up on all the paper work we had at the shop. But she had sounded scared when she called, said she needed me to do something with her and just about begged me before I even had the chance to say no.

"You rang?" I asked walking up to her, I felt like the errand boy lately, I had spent more time running around California and Ireland doing what the club needed me to do than what I needed to get done. I was waiting on a prospect patch at any time I may as well get the official title of whipping boy if I was going to do all the work.

"Yeah, Gemma is in jail," I looked at her through my dark sunglasses knowing she couldn't see my eyes.

"She got picked up?" I questioned her, adjusting my purse on my shoulder.

"No, she turned herself in," I felt my face shift in confusion, Gemma giving herself up to the police what the hell was the world coming to? "But get this, they dropped the charges,"

"So why is she there?" I questioned her but before I could get an answer Jax came up to us and she began telling Jax the same story.

"She doesn't want Clay to know, she's scared,"

"Jesus," Jax shook his head before Lowen came out the doors talking to Opie.

"I need you to hang out here," Jax said to Tara.

"Bowie is going to come with me," she told Jax and she wasn't asking him, and my brother looked over at me.

"Yeah, okay," Opie came up beside him hearing the end of our conversation.

"But who is going to tell Happy?" he asked as Chuckie came up dropping a box of printed money; we all looked down at the box and then up at each other, there had to be millions.

"How do I get myself mixed up into this?" I asked while Opie explained to Tara and I where we were going and the plan once we got there.

"Born into it I guess," Opie shrugged his shoulders, he was too calm, they all were, something was happening that they weren't telling any of us.

I strong hand came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder pulling me back towards him. I turned to see Happy standing in a bullet proof vest, holding one out to me. "Jesus, it's that bad?" I asked not taking the vest, what were they getting into?

"Precaution," I shook my head and grabbed the vest putting it underneath my arm.

"I don't like this Happy, you are going to get yourself killed," After all these years I had never seen him in one of the vests, from time to time they had worn them, but never him. Everyone was certain it would take more than a bullet to take him down but he didn't feel that confidence today apparently and I got the sickly nervous butterflies in my stomach that simple article of clothing taking all my confidence as well.

"I need you to take care of Katie," he looked down at the ground he knew he would probably never see his Mother again, I would be the one with her on her death bed not him.

"If you take care of yourself," I grabbed the black hoodie he was wearing pulling it until he looked back at me again. "Don't do any stupid shit in there, do your time and get the fuck out,"

"Don't wait on me," he said while the bikes around us started up, "I'm not the one for you," his words slapped me in the face and he turned to the van leaving me standing by the cutlass with my mouth hanging open, how could I have been so dumb? I had fallen right back into the Happy trap and even while he was trying to push me out of it, watching him walk away took me back to that place in the hospital and I got angry all over again, why did he keep leaving me when I needed him? I needed him to keep his ass out of jail and trouble , take care of his mother, I wanted him to be with me again and he was turning his back to it all, leaving me with the burden again.

"You ready?" Tara asked in her own vest standing by the car her face was completely void of color from nerves and she started chewing on her bottom lip as she waited on me to put my vest on trying to keep herself from crying. I just hoped I didn't look the same way to her as his words echoed in my head, maybe he wasn't the one for me, but if he wasn't why the fuck did it feel like this.

"I don't like this," Tara broke the silence we had been in since we had left the club house. "This is only going to cause a bigger problem,"

"All this for Jimmy? What do they need him for?" I was fishing again but I knew it was in an empty pond, if she knew she wouldn't of been like this, hopefully she would have been a little more confident in the plan.

"I think revenge for what happened in Ireland, all those people that blew up,"

"Maybe," I agreed, I doubted that would be it, but what else would it be.

"But that isn't their war," she huffed, "Those deaths are on SAMBEL to deal with,those were their men," and I looked at her so fast I thought my neck cracked.

"They are a family, you hurt one son you hurt them all!" I tried to tell her, "It doesn't matter who it was or what happened to them, revenge falls on everyone's shoulders."

"Usually Happy's," she muttered "Why doesn't he just go up to Jimmy and kill him?" those nerves I had in my stomach got replaced with something else.

"Because that would be a suicide mission! He'd be as good as gone going up against the Russians to kill Jimmy," she didn't say anything and I continued through gritted teeth, "But I guess that wouldn't matter to you because Jax would still be sitting pretty at the head of the table,"

"I didn't mean it like that!" she tried to change her words but it was too late.

"You only see this shit in one way Tara! That is what will fuck you up in the end," I knew I didn't need to yell we were in a small car but I couldn't help it, "This shit isn't about you and Jax there is no you and Jax! It's you and where you fit into the club, because that is who he is, he is SAMCRO, you need to find your place in it, with him. You can't live outside the circle, can't disconnect yourself from all the shit that he is attached to,"

"I'm here aren't I?" she yelled back.

"You need to be able to lay down at night and know exactly who you are with and what you are doing with him," I opened the door and got out of the car as I saw the van I knew Happy was in driving down the hill.

"I'm sorry," she muttered over the top of the car she had just gotten out of and I didn't give her the satisfaction of saying anything to her.

Everyone was standing around saying their goodbyes and I held onto each member longer than I should have, but Happy stayed clear of me, apparently that shit earlier was his goodbye.

"You be a good girl," Tig wrapped around me lifting me off the ground.

"I'll be just about as good as you," I tapped his back resting my head on his shoulder before he put me back on the ground moving on to the next person.

And one of the people that was going to break my heart most came up, "Guess this is goodbye," Bobby smiled.

"What is going on?" I asked him, "You guys are way too calm for 15,"

"Nothing Darling, there comes a time when you need to lay in the bed you made," I felt hot tears rising in my eyes and I wasn't sure if it was from saying goodbye to him or not getting to say goodbye to Happy but I pretended it was Bobby and held onto him until we heard Jax pull in and broke apart he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and went over with all the guys.

"Jesus," Gemma muttered coming up beside me, all the girls were with her.

"You okay?" Vic asked as the she devil herself came up and spoke to Jax. "I knew that bitch had something to do with this," she muttered.

"Where is Jimmy O?" She asked Clay. How had she known? After a few moments of arguing the guys opened the garage and everyone turned to see them take him out of the trunk of the Cutlass that we had driven here.

"Jimmy O, you're under arrest for.." Stahl began but my vision of him was blocked off as Happy stepped in front of me, took off his cut and handed it to me, I grabbed the warm leather not knowing what else to do and he left me standing there.

"You're VP made a deal," Stahl said loud enough for all of us to hear and shit went wild after that it was like the elephants at the zoo were escaping, everyone was screaming at Jax and pushing him around as ATF agents tried to pick them up, my eyes landed on my brother who I didn't get to say goodbye to, and then Happy and I saw the hatred in his eyes as he stared at Jax.

"Hap!" I yelled, trying to tear his attention away from Jax, and it worked for a brief moment his black eyes met mine and I wasn't sure how I was going to move on from this, just forget about him rotting in Stockton while I lived a life on the outside, a few hours ago I was sure I hated him, but that last eye contact as an Agent got him made me start questioning it all over again.

One last 'You're dead' rang through the air as the guys got shackled in the truck and Lowen moved towards Stahl as she wrote something in her little blue folder.

"Your clients will be out in 3 years, 14 months if they don't kill anyone," she handed the lawyer the folder, smirked at us one last time and headed towards the car she had rode in with.

* * *

I had gone and seen Katie, informed her of the shit that went down at the club house and my eyes burned as I told her about Jax and their new prison sentence, and when I left there the tears started falling, I wasn't sure if it was for Jax or myself, I was even more confused about Happy then I had been. My mind was a constant roller coaster when it came to him, I didn't know if I wanted him or if I didn't from one moment to the next, but I knew one place I needed to be at that moment. I turned off the highway far before the Charming exit and parked in the empty drive way at Katie's house, and I instantly felt him all over me, his scent, his presence was everywhere here even if he barely spent any time here, this was the place that had shaped him into the man he was, the guy I didn't' know if I wanted to push over and have my way with or put a gun to his skull and blow his brains out, but I knew at that exact moment that this was where I had to be. His bed was made like it always was and I went to throw myself down on it before I saw something sitting on the pillow, and I rubbed my sore eyes from crying and the need for sleep and grabbed up the stained paper and my heart began beating loud enough for me to hear as I read my name on the outside in his writing. I quickly unfolded it and began looking it over, he had definitely written it and it was dated yesterday, the beginning few lines had been scribbled out like he had written a whole paragraph and decided he didn't like what it said and then the new note started.

 _Bowie,_

 _I don't know when you'll get this, maybe the day we go to Jail or the day before we get out, but there is some shit I need to tell you, shit that I don't think I could ever physically say to you, I've opened my mouth 1000 times to try. I have always felt guilty for keeping you in this life, but when I first saw you the thought of giving you up made me sick to my stomach, it was like you were a prize, a wonderful award that only good guys got and somehow I had stumbled onto you and I spent the first year we were together waiting for that guy to show up and take you away or for you to come to your senses and leave my ass, but you didn't. But then, after her, I knew exactly what you were, it was god showing me how good I could have it, before he took it all away from me. I know you think I blame you for Harper and that was why I left, but that isn't' if anyone is to blame it is me. I have killed more than my share of people, people's kids. So it was only fair that I lost mine too, that was what that was, my punishment for all the kids I have killed, because everyone is someone's child. How was I going to have a beautiful girl and daughter and slip through life without paying that toll, that punishment that I deserved so much? So I left, and after two years of denying it I realized leaving that way did nothing but catch me up in shit I couldn't work my way out of, I turned over every stone trying to find someone to be with like you, even if it was for a night and all it did was leave me lonely and wanting you back even more, because I have tried everything and I now know that you are it, that one thing I will always want but can never truly have. You will always be in danger when you are with me and I will always be greedy enough to want to make you stay so here it is Bowie I'm laying it all out for you. While I'm in jail date, fuck, hell do whatever you want to do but know when I get out, I want an answer! This back and forth shit we are doing is going to get us both killed. Either you are with me or your not! Until then I don't want to hear from you, you won't be on my visiting list so don't try, no phone calls, no letters, I'll throw them away. I'll know what happens with you, I'm sure you can't avoid Jax for that long, if you need something for Katie they'll pass it on to me. Chibs will be giving you what you need of my cut to keep her in the hospice or whatever you two decide to do after I'm inside._

 _I want you to completely know what you are giving up to be with an asshole like me, a murderer the life you are choosing, I don't want anything forced on you, I want you to make a decision for yourself._

 _I'll be expecting my answer in 14 months; no Sons or the deal is off you're mine._

 _Be smart, don't choose me._

 _Happy._

I read the letter a few more times, there was nothing sweet about it, it was all Happy, his writing was even angry. But the words at the bottom of the page are what really got me, he knew when he wrote this letter yesterday that they were only going to do 14 months.

Before I could look into it any further my phone started ringing and Tara's name popped up on the screen.

* * *

Okay! So we are kind of some where, you didn't think they were going to just fall into each others arms did you?

Let me know what you think!

I don't own anything SOA btw

We'll have a few filler chapters of shit going on while they are in the club because this story is about Bowie not just SOA.


	22. Chapter 22

4 Months later

"I told you!" Vic smiled and handed me an ultrasound picture that had 'It's a girl' written on it. I wanted to smile at her but I barely had the energy to, I was exhausted from running in between the shop and TM, Gemma was still on house arrest and I had been helping out with office shit, making sure Chuckie didn't fuck it up, and almost every night I would go visit Katie before getting home at 11 and falling into the bed asleep before my head hit the pillow.

"Well I thought we didn't expect nothing less?" I finished balancing TM's check book, we were spending more money on hiring temporary help for while the club was inside then we were making fixing the cars. "Have you told Opie?" I asked my best friend whose stomach over the past few months had popped enough that everyone messed with her about it being twins, and she didn't have a pregnant glow, she was more angry lately than I ever remember her being, it was sort of funny, Ope never knew what kind of monster he'd be waking up to beside that day.

"No, he's on a run with Kozik," she sat down on the couch that had seen better days in the corner of Gemma's office.

"They stay busy don't they?" I asked I hadn't really been privy to what was going on around here lately I was too busy trying to keep the legal side of it up and running.

"Almost as busy as you," she agreed before the office door opened and Tara filled it.

"Hey," Vic stood up and pulled her into a hug, they had bonded over being knocked up and spent most of their free time together. Which I was happy for because I didn't really have much time for either of them.

"Long time no see," Tara looked over at me before sitting down on the couch along with Vic.

"Yeah, tell me about it," I agreed with her. "What have you been up to?"

"I just got back from seeing Jax," she smiled, she was handling this shit well, I honestly didn't think she had it in her, especially after our fight the day the guys went inside. She had called me that night after the prospects had dropped off a letter from Jax, we knew exactly what had gone down with the club and Stahl.

"He doing okay?" Last month he had been shived by the fucking Russians and some how that barely got him time in the infirmary.

"Yeah," she nodded her head and started rubbing her rounded stomach. I was definitely surrounded by more hormones than necessary lately. "You both are eating Thanksgiving at Gemma's right?"

I had completely forgotten about the fact that Thanksgiving was coming up or the fact that we had agreed to go over to Gemma's. Time had seemed to stand still since the guys had gone inside it shouldn't be holiday season already it should only be a few days after the were dragged off.

"I will try," I told the woman after both of them started discussing Gemma's stuffing. I felt two sets of eyes stare at me as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

"What better do you have to do?" Tara asked looking confused.

"Shit she's not responsible for!" Vic answered before I could open my mouth. "You know you don't have to do this all alone, that bastard dropped you and you are still taking care of all this club shit!"

"This club shit!" I pointed around the office raising my voice to her level. "Has always been my problem!" I had always dealt with taking care of shit when the guys were inside it was a part of what we did as a family. "And he didn't drop my ass," I muttered.

"Really?" Vic raised an eyebrow at me, "When was the last time you heard from that fucker? He calls Katie, he talks to the guys on the outside, not a word to you! That letter was a cop out!"

"I don't even know if I wanted to be with him! So who is it really effecting?!" I yelled back at her.

"Oh bull shit!" she countered.

"Hey! Hey!" Tara stood up stopping us from continuing our argument. "I've got something to show both of you!" she reached into her messenger bag and pulled out a stack of papers. "How much do you know about what happened to JT?" she handed me half the pile, "and your dad?"

* * *

"Holy shit!" Vic muttered as she read the last of the letters in her hand. I just looked at her not knowing what else to say, if these letters were true than JT had thought that Clay and Gemma, the people who had raised me the last few years of my life, were responsible for his death after he stated that thought, the letters ended.

"Yeah," Tara handed her what looked like a police report, "Unser was the one that signed off on it,"

"Who else would do Gemma's bidding but Unser?" Vic stated and they both looked over at me, waiting for my input.

"Where did you get these?" I questioned her looking down at the crumpled papers I was holding.

"Maureen Ashby sent them home in Jax's bag," Tara started rubbing her large stomach again.

"What would she get out of sending those?" Vic dropped the letters on the desk I was now sitting behind.

"Nothing," Tara shrugged her shoulder.

"No one does something like this without an end game,"

"I think she just wanted Jax to know what kind of criminal his parents are," my stomach fell at her words,

"They were my parents too," I added standing up grabbing my coat off the back of the chair.

"How much do you know about your dad?" Tara stood up watching me go towards the door.

"You don't think?" Vic added to the conversation.

"No, my dad would never let Clay kill him," I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince myself or them when I walked out the door.

* * *

I had every intention of going to Katie's when I left the shop, she was leaving the hospice soon and we had started packing her things to go home but I had ended up at the bar in the middle of Bakersfield, it was nicer than the crank den bars in Charming but it still wasn't high class enough that I felt out of place in the jeans and tank top I was wearing. I didn't know what to think about the letters I had read, and Tara's accusation that Clay might have had something to do with my Dad's death. Then what would they get out of taking me in? Why would they push my Dad out? He was a Sargent at Arms, not the V.P or any sort of position that could hurt Clay's spot at the head of the table; JT had been dead for years before my father was shot and killed. But they had taken me in the day it happened, moved me into the spare room across from Jax's room and I had been there until Happy had happened.

"Hey," an unidentified voice said beside me and slid a shot in front of me. "You look like you could use a drink," a man about my age with a beard that reminded me of Opie and bright crystal green eyes met my now dull green in comparison eyes.

"Yeah," I looked at the bar beside me littered with shot glasses and a few beer glasses, I didn't know I had drank that many, hopefully the older woman beside me had been adding the the pile. "I don't think I've had enough," I felt my eyes roll like they always did.

"I didn't think so," he smiled, he had perfectly straight white teeth and I felt myself smile back, "This is what she said you were drinking," he motioned his head towards the bar tender. "My names Mike," he held out his hand.

"Of course it is," I was so used to people telling me their name was something like Chibs, or Juice that Mike...instantly cause a ting of disappointment to go off in my floating brain.

"What does that mean?" he smirked at me, and I raised my shoulders like I didn't know, how was I going to explain something like that. "Okay, then what is your name?"

"Bowie," I grabbed his hand and shook it.

"Of course it is," his eyes glistened in the light.

"Well Mike, how do I know that this isn't roofied?" I looked down at the drink after we stopped shaking hands.

"Because that's not my style, I don't need to drug you to make you want to go home with me," he drank the shot he had slid my way.

"Confident," I felt myself smirk at the man, "What's up with the beard?" I asked him.

"You don't like it?" he ran his hands down it the length of the beard like he was thinking, "I just got it cut,"

"It looks like you are trying to keep warm in the winter, which in Cali makes no sense,"

"Girls usually like it,"

"Hipster chic?" I took a sip of my beer feeling the buzz turn into a full on drunk.

"Something like that," he took another shot that he had brought over. "You want to get out of here?" he nodded towards the door; and instantly thoughts of Happy ran through my head along with Vic's words about how I had just been dropped by him, she was right, nothing had been heard from him and none of the guys told me about him either, almost like he had threatened them, and no one not even his brothers dared fuck with him.

"Yeah," I agreed already re-thinking my words. Was I really going to do this? I hadn't made a decision about Happy yet, the letter had pissed me off when I first had read it. Who did he think he was trying to tell me that I had 14 months to make a decision for the rest of my life, but after a while it began sounding better and better. But if he wanted to play this avoid you, don't talk to me bullshit I would follow the rules he sat out in front of us, he told me to fuck around so I was going to. I followed him outside and he grabbed my hand and like I always did I judged him on the fact that his hands were smooth, no callouses or scars on his knuckles from fighting.

"This is it," he stopped in front of a little ducati crotch rocket bike.

"This?" I asked squinting at the bike, I was used to a big motorcycle not a little sports bike.

"Yeah, I know bikes are hard to get used to but you can just hold on tight," he smirked once again holding out a helmet.

"No," I backed away from the bike, it wasn't going to happen, I was completely over him knowing he rode this, I rather have him take me back to a little mini cooper than this.

"Bowie," I hand came up and rested on my shoulder and I turned to another bearded man.

"Opie?" I questioned the alcohol really sloshing around in my head.

"Shit man!" Mike said from beside me still holding the helmet, "You're a son!" his eyes lit up more than they had when he had sat down beside me.

"I am and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you take my sister on this little bitch bike Micheal," I looked between both men, they seemed to know each other.

"Shit man, I didn't know," he held up his hands backing away from me like I smelled.

"Yeah, stay away from her," Opie grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the wanna be biker.

"What are you doing Opie?"

"He's bad news,"

"How do you know him?" I questioned trying to stop him from dragging me.

"That's club business, come on,"

* * *

"I can't believe you're dragging me to the snakes den," Katie complained from the seat beside me.

"Yeah, well if I have to be here so do you!" I informed her parking in Gemma's parking lot on Thanksgiving.

"Her ass will probably poison me," Yeah, two unspoken women like Gemma and Katie not getting along..what a shocker.

"Nah, she thinks your dying she wouldn't waste it," I opened my door trying not to laugh at the woman beside me. Inside the remaining club members were their along with most of the women attached to SAMCRO. Gemma came up and greeted both of us with her fake hostess smile wrapping her arms around me and asking Katie if she needed anything, which she denied of course.

"Well, at least there will still be drama at Thanksgiving," Opie laughed coming up beside me holding a beer.

"Well tradition can't just change," I laughed grabbing the beer out of his hand, it was going to be a long day. "Who was that guy the other night?"

"Talked to Happy," he interrupted me, "He's doing okay," he was the first one to say his name to me since they went inside and he slapped my back before walking back towards Vic.

* * *

AN: Sorry it's been so long and that the chapter I update is just kind of a filler but I haven't given up on this story just been busy and also in a sort of a rut their will be a few more filler chapters until the real action takes over!

Let me know what you think should happen next? Where do you see this story going? What is going on with the Mike guy? Was she really going to sleep with some random guy?


	23. Chapter 23

3 Months later

7 Months incarcerated

"Couldn't stay away could you?" A voice I had heard before but I couldn't identify came up beside me when I parked in TM's lot. I felt my face fall when the Mike guy was beside me from a few months ago.

"Don't flatter yourself," I looked over my sunglasses at the guy. "What are you doing here?"

"Got some business,"

"Well the club isn't here," there weren't any bikes in the lot except for the ones of the guys who were in Stockton, Happy's bike was glistening brighter than the other ones in the sunlight, almost like it was watching me.

"They aren't my business today," he wore the same shit eating grin he had a few months ago when he had approached me in the bar.

"You better be getting your car worked on then," he didn't have his small sports bike from last time there was a slick black car parked beside Gemma's that I assumed was his. I kept walking toward Gemma's office, she had been off house arrest for a few months and had taking her position as head bitch in charge back at the garage.

"Go on a date with me!" he yelled in the direction that I was walking and I quickly looked back towards him, he was standing with his hand blocking his eyes even though he had sunglasses on.

"I don't even know you," I glared at him raising one side of my mouth in a scowl.

"Usually people go on dates to get to know each other," he spit back.

"I'm not interested," I turned back towards the office.

"Just one date! If nothing else it's a free meal for you,"

"What are you doing with SAMCRO?" I still didn't turn back around towards the man in question.

"Business, so is that a yes or no?"

"That is a not interested," I started walking again.

"Thursday night! I'll be at the diner on the first exit into Oakland, 7 o'clock,"

"Who is that?" Gemma asked when I stepped into the office, she was standing looking out the blinds.

"Some asshole," I took a seat on the couch not looking back out into the lot.

"He's a cute asshole," she dropped the blinds and I heard a car start up.

"He knows it too," I rolled my eyes. "What was he doing here?" I asked her hoping she'd know something about him.

"I don't know, pulled up, went into the club house and you drove up,"

"I met him once a few months ago, Opie seemed to know him, and didn't seem to like him very much,"

"That's who Opie is," she shrugged her shoulders, "He doesn't really like anyone, especially if they look like that and are hitting on his sister," she sat down at her desk.

"He's doing some kind of business with the club, what are they up too right now?" I asked knowing I wouldn't get an answer.

"Your guess is as good as mine! How are Vic and the baby doing?" she changed the subject, SAMCRO didn't make a move that Gemma didn't know about.

"She's good, exhausted," I informed the woman in front of me, "She's coming back to work soon, says she can't stand sitting home any longer," Vic had her baby, Violet Grace Winston, over a month ago and since then she had been in baby hell ever since, her new born baby girl had a set of lungs on her that was for sure! She had barely stopped crying since she had left the hospital, the only one that seemed to calm her was Opie, who was always out doing club business.

"She used to cry like Violet does," Gemma must of known what I was thinking all too soon her phone started ringing. She spoke for a few minutes flying around collecting her stuff and I felt nerves running in my veins it took a lot to get Gemma riled up.

"What is going on?" I stood up when she hung up the phone.

"That was Tara she's in labor!"

* * *

Thursday Night

It had been a long week, and that was what I would blame me trekking my ass up to Oakland on. I pulled up to the diner that he had told me about and saw the same black car he was riding in earlier parked with an empty space beside it.

"What the hell am I doing?" I muttered to myself before grabbing my purse and starting towards the diner.

"You made it!" Mike stood up from the first booth near the door.

"I never turn down a free meal," I didn't really know what else to say, so I shrugged my shoulders and sat down across from him.

"What can I get you to drink?" a young waitress came up to the table and she reminded me of the girl who had been drooling all over Happy when we had gone to eat that morning while Katie was in the hospital.

After she got our orders we were basically sitting in an awkward silence staring at each other, Mike was tapping his finger on the table top and I began stirring my coke with my straw.

"So which one is it?" he broke the silence.

"Huh?" I asked making eye contact with him for the first time since I had sat down.

"Which guy are you with?" he smirked at me.

"What are you talking about?"

"A girl that looks like you doesn't hang out SAMCRO and not have somebody they are hanging around for,"

"I grew up in the club, my Dad was a founding member,"

"Oh so that is why you are this way," his smirk grew larger and I felt my face drop.

"So you asked me out here to insult me?" I started to get up out of the booth.

"Wait!" he reached out and grabbed my arm. "I wasn't trying to insult you, I meant your attitude, I like it,"

"That's not usually how you complement someone," I informed him still half standing up.

"Sit down please," he said with a pleading tone in his voice and I felt my butt hit the leather of the booth.

"So what do you do with SAMCRO?" I asked him skipping over the nice friendly first date talk, if he was going to come at me like this he deserved it.

"My family is a friend of theirs,"

"They don't have friends," I informed him, the guys only had people that owed them or people they owed.

"So which one is it?" he asked again, "I know it's not Jax, and Opie said you were his sister," he ran his hands down his beard, "Juice?"

"God no," I felt my face scrunch up.

"So there is someone," his face lit up, "Happy?"

I didn't answer and he took that as a sign.

"Shit, he's a scary motherfucker," he kept running his hands down his beard, "I knew he had a chick on the outside taking care of his Mom, just didn't know she looked like you,"

"What?" The mention of Katie got my attention.

"Heard he had some bitch on the outside taking care of his Mom, she couldn't be left alone or some shit, but he dropped the claim on her...well I guess that's you," he spoke like he was talking about it like Happy had dropped a piece of toast, like I was just there to take care of his Mom because he couldn't. Vic's words from a few months ago ran through my head about how Happy had just dropped me along with anger running through my veins.

"I've got to go," I completely stood up this time, not sure where I was going.

"What?" he looked at my confused and stood up too.

"I've got something to do," I put my purse on my arm, "Thanks for the date," I started towards the door.

"Well have a good Valentines then," he said and I turned back to look at him as the waitress brought out our food. I hadn't even realized it was Valentines until that moment, I had been so busy with work with Vic out and taking care of Katie that I had barely remembered that it was Thursday. I went out into the cool air and slammed towards my car. I sped down the high way not knowing where I was going or what I was doing, I just knew that I couldn't stay at that diner with him or go back to Charming. Mike's words kept running through my head, Happy was playing my ass, he needed someone to take care of Katie, that was what all this was about, that was why he didn't want to hear from me, or see me because he didn't care about me. I slammed on the brakes when I came to a dead end in front of a large building.

"Jesus," I muttered reading the sign in front of the building that was on the other side of a chain link fence, with a row of barbed wire on top. I had driven an hours just to end up within a mile of the mother fucker that had driven me to go on the wild goose chase in the first place. I grabbed my phone out of my cup holder and dialed a number that had been saved in my phone since I was a kid and Dad had gone inside.

"Stockton County Prison," a woman's voice that seemed way too nice to work at the prison answered the phone.

"I need to speak with a prisoner," I informed the woman.

"Honey you'll need to call back tomorrow, family and friends can't talk after 7,"

"I'm his lawyer, Ally Lowen," I lied, not sure if it would work or not, "It's important,"

"The name?" she asked after a few moments.

"Happy Lowman," I informed her and the line started playing annoying music for far too long, I was breathing in and out deeply not sure what I was going to say to him or if he was even going to pick up.

"Yeah?" his deep voice came through the speaker once the music stopped playing.

"Fuck you!" I spit out and heard him huff, "You're a fucking asshole Happy Lowman!"

"Why are you calling?" he spoke to me like he did everyone else around him, gruff and enraged.

"Sorry you got a call from the bitch that is stuck out here taking care of your mother! Who your dropped like a fucking hot cake the second you could, I hope you rot in hell!" I opened my mouth the tell him off some more but the line went dead and tears started running down my eyes. "FUCK!" I screamed slamming my phone down, I wasn't sure why I had called him, it wouldn't change anything; but I knew it would piss him off and that was exactly what I wanted to do, make him feel like he made me feel.

* * *

5 month later

1 year incarcerated

"You've been hanging out with him a lot," Tara smiled at me, she was sitting at her table feeding Thomas and watching Abel eat his cereal.

"Yeah," I agreed with her reaching over and pushing back Abel's blonde hair it was unruly just like his Dad's.

"It getting serious?" she asked smiling at me.

"No," I was only kind of lying to her when I answered the question. "No until he tells me the truth,"

"And Happy?" she asked putting Thomas on her shoulder to burp him.

"What about him?" I snapped at her, the mention of his voice caused anger to run through my veins.

"I don't think he did what ever you are so sure he did, I don't know him very well but I've seen the way you two look at each other,"

"God, she finally fell asleep," Vic came around the corner, dark circles under her eyes, Opie had been out of town for the last few days and Violet hadn't been sleeping well without her Daddy, she was completely his girl. She sat down beside me at the table her engagement ring caught the light from the window and she smiled down at it, "So the date is set for the dress shopping," Vic informed us.

"What are we going to do about the letters?" Tara cut her off, the words had been at the tip of her tongue, the guys would be home in a few months and she was freaking out about whether we were going to tell Jax or not.

"It's only a matter of time before they find out we have them," Vic informed the DR.

"And they'll kill us too," I had not doubt in my mind if Gemma and Clay had really done in JT they would have no problem taking us out to keep that secret.

"Then we keep the secret for now," Tara nodded her head at us.

"And we keep watching them," Vic agreed.

* * *

"It's good to be home," Katie smiled from her kitchen table when I walked in later that day, she had left hospice a few days ago and moved back into her home, her sister agreeing to keep an eye on her and make sure she makes it to all her DR appointments when I couldn't drive her.

"I bet it is," I smiled sitting across from her.

"You seem happy baby," she let her smile fall at the mention of my emotions, no one was taking the fact that I had continued to hang out with Mike worse than she had, rumor from Stockton was that she had cussed Happy up and down and just about disowned him when she had found out about the letter he had written me, basically telling me to find someone else.

"Yeah, I am," I agreed with her but I let my smile fall too.

"It's all an illusion," she reached a cold hand out and grabbed mine, "You belong with him, not some douche bag named Mike, that is a stupid name,"

"It's not going to work out between us Katie, Hap and I are over,"

"You, as well as I know that's not true," she ran her thumb up the length of mine, "He's an idiot my little boy, but he loves you! He is willing to hurt himself, let you go, to make you happy,"

"What makes you so sure?" I asked her not knowing what else to say.

"Because I'm his mother, letting you go was the hardest thing he's ever had to do,"

"I've got to go, I just came to check on you," I stood up feeling my eyes start to tingle, Katie and I went around and around with the Happy and I thing.

"Don't take my words as smoke girl," she nodded her head at me as I headed out the door.

* * *

"Hey," Mike smiled at me when I came into the diner we were having lunch at.

"Hi," I smiled back sitting down across from him.

"I ordered for you," he nodded at the coke that was sitting on my side of the table, "Burger and fries right?" and I agreed with him it wasn't really a shot in the dark on what I would want to eat, that was what I usually ordered. "Hows your day going?"

"Good," I took a sip of my coke watching him watch me.

"I've got some vacation time coming up, how do you feel about Hawaii?" I felt my face scrunch up.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Got two tickets! You in?"

"When?" I asked, shocked, I had barely ever been out of California.

"In a few months from now," my face fell.

"Can't I've got to help Vic get ready for her wedding,"

"We'll be back in time," he smiled again, "What do you have to lose?"

* * *

AN: I know it bounces around ALOT! But if I wrote a year worth of chapters it would get super boring! Like really boring.

Let me know what you think! What is going to happen next? Who is Mike?

I don't own anything SOA


	24. Chapter 24

1 month later

13 Months incarcerated

"I can't believe you are leaving me!" Vic was standing in the front window of our shop bouncing Violet up and down , she had finally started calming herself down over the past month; much to Vic's happiness.

"You act like I'm not going to come back," I rolled my eyes at her and looked down at the phone in my hands, texting Mike.

"I don't like him," Vic added puling my attention away from the phone.

"You keep saying that, but never say why," I huffed at her, "I know it's not because your a Happy fan,"

"I like him, I just don't like the shit he does," she turned back around towards me putting Violet on her hip.

"Since when?" I squinted at her in disbelief; ever since we were kids she had been on the opposite of Happy's team.

"That's is or was kind of our thing, we act like we hated each other, but it was never true until he left you, then that fake play hatred became real when I watched him walk through that waiting room while we all yelled his name, he didn't even turn back," I stared at her mouth gaped open while she spoke, she had never talked about this shit with me, "You aren't the only one he left, he left all of us,"

"And you thought now was the time to say all of it?" I stood up, "I can't do this back and forth shit with him,"

"Then put an end to it, stop letting him make the rules,"

"It's over between us, he's playing me,"

"No, he isn't," she walked over closer trying to look at serious as she could while she bounced her baby on her hip,"I said that to you because I was mad, he didn't drop you, he loves you, and you love him,"

"I've got to go pack," I stood up trying to smile at her even though I was more confused by what she was saying than anything she had ever told me before. "I'll be back for your wedding, I promise," I walked up to her and tickled one of Violets feet before heading towards the door.

"Hey!" I turned back around to look at her, "Did you ever figure out what Mike has to do with SAMCRO?"

"No," I had ran every story line in my head and couldn't really figure out much.

"I'd push Opie before I left the country with the guy,"

"Hawaii is still North America," I heard the bell chime over the door as I walked out.

* * *

"You were looking for me?" Kozik asked when he came into the club house, I was sitting at one of the same round tables waiting on him.

"Yeah," he sat down beside me after grabbing a beer from behind the bar for both of us.

"Well what do you want?" he smiled at me and put his hands behind his head, "Finally come to your senses and decide to be with me?"

"No," I couldn't help but smile back at him, "There aren't enough drugs in the world to convince me of that,"

"You're breaking my heart,"he acted like he was shot in the chest and held the spot where his heart was supposed to be. "Now what do you want Doll?"

"What is Mike doing with SAMCRO?" I didn't waste anymore time beating around the bush.

"Shit Bow, you know I can't tell you," he hissed moving in closer so anyone around us couldn't hear.

"Come on!"

"All you need to know is he's bad news, like we've been trying to tell you," Kozik and Opie had been on to me ever since I started hanging out with Mike, always telling me I'm better off alone and basically threatening him every time they were in the same place, but Mike always played it cool like nothing was going on and the guys never gave me anymore information.

"What kind of bad news? You owe me Kozik!" I tried to convince him with my eyes, even though I wasn't exactly sure what he owed me for.

"Jesus Bowie," he ran his hands through his hair, "If I tell you.."

"You know I'm not going to rat you out,"

"Fine," he leaned in close, "He works for Putlova," he stopped talking I expected even more information but that was all I got.

"The Russians?" I whispered back more confused than ever, I had met Putlova and his crew a time or two and they all seemed to be straight from Russia, not like Mike was, he didn't have an accent or even seem like he would run in those circles.

"Yeah, he runs the money between us,"

"What the hell are we doing with the Russians?" I questioned, as far as I knew the Russians were the ones who stabbed Jax in jail, we didn't really do business with people who fucked up over.

"KOZ!" Opie yelled from the Chapel's door a few of the Tacoma guys were standing behind him.

"I've got to go," Kozik stood up and kissed my temple before walking towards the club. I was up and on my feet the moment the Chapel doors shut behind Kozik, I knew exactly where I was headed, I was getting the answers I really needed.

"What are the guys doing with the Russians?" I demanded of Gemma the second I walked into her office.

"What?"She looked at me confused, but after years of being with Gemma Teller I knew if she was trying to bull shit me or not.

"What is the club doing with Putlova?" I asked again this time a little more pointed.

"I don't know.."

"Cut the shit Gemma! You knew Mike was one of Putlova's guys,"

"He's just the runner!" she threw her hands up giving up her little charade.

"For the Russian MAFIA!" I argued back! "What are they doing with Putlova? Last I checked they stabbed Jax in Stockton and we are doing business with them?"

"And they will pay for that!" she pointed a finger at me, "Putlova was where Jimmy-O hid," she sat down at her desk and I crossed my arms.

"Yeah I know that! They gave him the fake money Chuckie had! And I was guessing that was why Jax got stabbed!"

"It is, they had to cut Putlova a deal, 80% of their gun running money," she admitted.

"'And Mike is a part of it," I wasn't looking for her to confirm it I was more trying to tell it to myself. "He's a part of they guys who shived Jax in jail, gun running, the Mafia,"

"All guys have their problems," she shrugged her shoulders, "If you go judging them off all their mistakes then you'll never find anyone, trust me,"

"You never tried to find normal! You're power hungry," I accused her! "You would run SAMCRO if you could, be the president!" That was what had happened to JT he wanted out and she didn't.

"Well aren't you the high and mighty!" she gave me a pointed glare, "All this coming from the girl that was fucking the Tacoma Killer, and now a member of the Russian Mafia!"

"I didn't know!" I argued with her.

"You might not of about Mike! But you knew exactly who Happy was, and you just about tripped getting into his bed," she crossed her arms too, "Now what are you going to do about all this shit! The guys have one month and they'll be out! Happy is going to want his answer, and I would hate to be the guy that the woman he loves left him for,"

"He left me," I reminded her, "For the second time," I turned towards the door of her office to leave having enough of going around with her, it was solving nothing and I got the answers I was looking for.

"You holding on to that hates, makes you just like your mother,"

* * *

"Hey you about ready?" Mike smiled at me when I opened the front door and he had a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah," I didn't match his smile.

"Usually people are a bit more excited to go on vacation," he came into the living room with a tourist Hawaiian shirt on and I tried my best not to laugh. That was something Happy and I never had, we joked around but we never out right laughed at each other, we were both sarcastic so we didn't really have a dull moment but all the bad shit always weighed so heavy on my heart that it was easy to forget the good times.

"I just came over to make sure you were packed and ready before I went to deal with some business,"

"With Putlova?" I asked him putting my hands on my hips.

"Shit.." he ran his hands down his beard a trait I had gotten used to him doing when he got nervous.

"Yeah!" I reached out and shoved his chest, "Your guys STABBED my brother!"

"I don't have anything to do with that shit, I work the books for them,"

"Yeah, for the Russian Mafia!"

"Putlova is my Uncle!" he admitted.

"Jesus," I muttered turning my back towards him, "After all this time you didn't think that is something you'd bring up?"

"I wanted to keep you out of this shit!"

"I'm in this shit! I always have been!"

"And I'm not the first one to not tell you what was going on!"

"Yes, you are," I had always known what was going on with Happy.

"Look, I like you Bowie! I really do! And I wanted to keep you out of this because its dangerous,"

"I'm not three years old! And being on the outside of this and not knowing what is going on is more dangerous,"

"Do you like me or not?" he reached out and pushed some of my hair behind my ear a smirk spreading across his face.

"Yes," I admitted, almost disappointed in my answer.

"Then meet me at the airport, 2 hours," he leaned down and pressed his smooth lips against mine in a soft kiss.

"Okay," I nodded my head at him once we pulled apart.

After Mike had left I headed towards my room to start packing, hell until a few minutes ago I wasn't even sure I was going to go. I laid the same back pack I had toted around what felt like the world lately, I decided that the first step would be to empty the bag that had slowly become filled with dirty clothes since the guys went inside on my trips back and forth between home and Bakersfield. I began digging in the bag and was surprised when I got to the bottom of the bag and felt my hand wrap around a piece of paper. I knew exactly what it was, the second I felt the texture of it. The note that Happy had written to me when he went inside; I had been carrying it around ever since I read it; mostly to bitch to Vic and Tara about it, but also there was a part of me who felt like it was going to be the last thing I ever heard from him. Would he split when he got out or would we always have to see each other? At holidays and club shit?

"shit," I muttered as I sat down on the edge of the bed and read the note one more time, the words never changed but the feeling it gave me was always different. Another guy that wanted to protect me from shit that I didn't need protecting from; but Happy and I were always different. But shit he did he always let me knew, I had been privy to every one of his secrets throughout our relationship, that much I knew. Happy was a horrible liar, he was too straight forward. If he didn't want you to know he just wouldn't tell you anything at all, never lied about it. That was one of my favorite things about him. That was the shit that didn't line up, everyone saying he just left me, dropped me; he would of told me that, he would of admitted to just using me that was something I believed, but all the evidence pointed to something different. Was I supposed to believe the facts that everyone kept showing to me or what I had known to be true over the last few years with Happy. I stood up and continued packing my bag, more confused that I had been in years, if I was accusing Happy of lying to me was I going to just let Mike get away with it?

Far be it for me to skip out on a free vacation to figure out my feelings, I was sure I would know the right thing to do the moment my toes hit the sand. I had one month before Happy got out of Stockton before all this shit went down. Another month to figure out what was going on with Mike and the Russians.

* * *

"There she is!" Mike smiled at me as I walked down the hallway of the airport, my carry on wheeling behind me. "Beginning to think you wouldn't show," he was still wearing that stupid Hawaiian shirt he had on earlier.

"Me too," I sat down on the chair beside him in front of the gate.

"I'm sorry about..." I cut him off.

"Don't say you're sorry if you're not, you're just sorry you got caught,"

"I didn't want to get you mixed up," he repeated what he had said earlier.

"Don't lie to me again, about any of this shit, especially when it has to do with my family,"

"I didn't have anything to do with him getting shived," he looked serious when he spoke, "That was all my Uncle,"

"Jax is my brother, the closest to flesh and blood that is walking this earth, and Opie,"

"I get that," he nodded his head, watching the people walk in front of us.

'Okay," I started watching the crowd as well and felt the world stop as two black eyes met mine, and my blood slowed, a little blonde girl walked by holding a man's hand, the bald man had tattoos on his arm and the back of him looked so familiar that I could of sworn that I was in a dream as I watched them walk hand in hand. An announcement went off in the large space but it felt like it was a thousand miles away. I felt Mike stand up beside me but I couldn't move I was stuck in a trance watching them. It was like in all those shitty movies when you see what your future could be like at the turning point of your life.

"You ready?" Mike knocked me out of my trance and the little girls head turned and she smiled at me, her eyes were back to normal color just a light blue like all blond baby girls had, it was just my mind playing tricks on me.

"Yeah," I stood up taking his hand. We started heading toward where your boarded the plane and the man scanning the tickets pulled something out of his pocket and tried to sneak it to Mike when he passed by.

"What is that?" I asked Mike when we got into the tunnel.

"What is what?" he asked and I stopped walking.

* * *

AN: What do you think? Are we off to HAWAII? What should happen next?

Let me know! Thank you to everyone that had reviewed! I love reading them!


	25. Chapter 25

I couldn't sleep knowing the guys were going to be home in less than 12 hours; it seemed like every time I closed my eyes something else would start running through my mind and I was sent into a spiral of what ifs and new worries. I finally gave up on trying completely and went into the living room thinking I'd find something to watch but the infomercials of the early morning were more boring than watching the back of my eyelids.

"This is ridiculous Bowie," I muttered to myself heading back to the bedroom throwing myself down on the bed before my phone vibrated on the night stand.

 **I can't sleep boys at Gemma's, Don's?** Tara had sent me, apparently I wasn't the only one that was effected by the unknown of tomorrow. I quickly sent her a reply to meet her in 20 minutes and opened my closet to get a jacket to wear over my crop and pulled on a pair of destroyed jeans. The yellow light cast from my end table lamps caused the chunk of leather that I had forgotten about to catch my eye. Happy's cut from the day they went inside was hanging hidden in the back corner. I grabbed it off the hanger and threw it under my arms as I went out to my car.

"A little early for you girls don't you think?" Don asked as we came through the front door leading us towards a booth in the back. "The guys come back this morning right?" He smiled, I guess technically it was this morning, it was a little after 4 when Tara had text me.

"Yes," Tara smiled spread but what was usually a contagious smile just caused nerves to rumble in mine.

"You must be excited," he smiled back at her before sitting beside me in the booth, "And you? Made up your mind yet?" I gave him a confused look, did everyone in town know about Happy's ultimatum? "Vic," he added answering my unasked question.

"Your daughter has a big ass mouth," I huffed at him before looking at the menu like I didn't know exactly what I wanted.

"And my other daughter is as stubborn as they come," he signed.

"I don't know what I've decided,"

"I've known you your whole life Bow," he put an arm around my shoulder. "Take it from someone who has been there longer than anyone else living," of course he wasn't, Clay, Gemma and Piney had also been there my whole life, watching me grow. "You were never as happy as you were with him, I know the shadow of a person you were before him and after him,"

"It's not that simple," I began to argue with him but he quickly cut me off.

"Of course it is, he makes you happy, and if it makes you happy it can't be that bad," he grabbed both menus off the table and headed towards the kitchen already knowing what both of us wanted.

"Did he just quote Sheryl Crow?" Tara asked watching him walk away as well.

"Yeah, I think he did," I couldn't help but chuckle as she joined me.

"So the three of us are in agreement?" Tara began after a waitress brought us our drinks, "We're not going to say anything about the letters to Jax, at least not yet,"

I nodded at the brunette, "Right, but all the while we are going to watch Clay,"

"And Gemma," she added. "It still pisses me off that Piney won't help us,"

"He's a simple guy Tara, he doesn't believe that girls should be mixed up in Club business and the president of the club conducting or covering up the murder of his brothers is big shit,"

"Thats why they should know," she started to argue.

"Shit we have no proof of," I reminded her, "Nothing but a police report and a few letters from JT to his Irish whore,"

"Whom he had a daughter with, she wasn't just some whore to him,"

"Who is a whore?" Don asked setting or food down in front of us.

"If I said your daughter?" I smiled up at him trying to keep in a laugh.

"I'd have to laugh, and then swear I defended her honor," he shook his head and left us again.

"Why couldn't he be Jax's dad?" Tara muttered, she knew we were going to be up against a lot of acting when we did finally see Clay again.

"Why couldn't he be everyones?" I finished for her.

It was a beautiful day once the sun finally came out, I had been driving away from Charming ever since Tara and I had left the restaurant, making one pit stop to leave Happy's cut at TM where I knew Gemma would see it. Before I knew it the clock read 10:00 and I knew that the guys must be home by now, the phone in my cup holder would be blowing up if it was on. Fourteen months and I still wasn't prepared for today, what to say when I finally saw him; would I forget everything that happened and be with him? Ignore him for the rest of my life, when he eventually settled down? Maybe have a family or a few bastard kids with a crow eater? All those questions danced in my head as I drove further away. I used to know exactly who Happy was, but the more I thought I knew it seemed the less I did; I would of never thought he would completely shut me out, I always had a feeling even if I would of called him a month after Harper he would of answered and came back but now I wasn't positive of anything. The gas light went off pulling me out of my trance and I took the next exit with a gas station.

"You've got to be shitting me right?" I said out loud to myself not caring who heard me talk to myself when I stepped out to hear the music playing. I couldn't help but sing along maybe more in self pity than actually enjoyment of the song as I pumped the gas. _If it makes you happy_ was blaring out of the speakers, damn Don.

I didn't need any more direction as I pulled onto the highway again, I knew right where I was going.

* * *

Three bikes speed past me when I rounded a corner hours later and I couldn't help but laugh at the blue lights flashing in the distance, they had only been out of jail for few hours and were already up to something, the bikes honked as I passed but I couldn't take my hands off the wheels to wave back , if I let go before I got where I was going I didn't know if I could stay on my path. I parked across from where bikes were lined up beside a sheriffs car, still with the lights flashing and a bunch of guys hand cuffed and sat against wooded posts.

"BOWIE!" I knew Tig's voice the second I heard it, I hadn't spoken to any of them while they were inside, I didn't want to hear anything about them, but now I realized how much I had truly missed all of them, how empty I had been without them.

"Ma'am, get back in your car," one of Roosevelt's deputies tried to warn me as I crossed the road towards the finish line, black eyes met mine and my hand instantly itched to slap it across his face, still feeling the sting of the letter I knew was in my backpack in the trunk.

"BOW!" Chibs and the rest of them started speaking, all but one.

"Bowie," the deputy seemed to know who I was when I pushed past him, it was now or a never a few steps away either I told him 14 months had come down to this moment. "BOWIE MCKENNEY!" the deputy tried again, but I was too late.

I dropped down straddling Hap's lap and hoots and hollers were heard all around us along with the warning from the sheriff.

"What took you so long?" he smirked, the first to speak.

"I've been here all along, waiting for you" I informed him feeling my eyes burn as tears started to build but I slammed our lips together before they got a chance to show themselves. Katie had been right all along, no matter how long he was gone, no matter what happened. I had been waiting on Happy since the first time I saw him, from that very moment I was in 100 percent. Time seemed to stand still and all the cliché shit before a rough pair of arms grabbed me and cold metal wrapped around my wrists.

"Come on," a different deputy cuffed me and sat me beside Juice who was on the end as protests and threats came from the guys but it didn't effect the smile on my face.

"Let them go," we heard coming out of the walkie talkie, "Bring her in," those words echoed through me.

"You heard him," the original deputy spoke, "Cut them loose, bring her downtown,"

"I actually can't, it's my best friends wedding today," I was fucked, Vic was going to kill me.

"Maybe she'll save you a piece of cake,"

"This is complete bull shit," I informed Roosevelt as I sat in his office, "You can't keep me here I did nothing wrong,"

"That is where you are wrong, I can hold you for 24 hours," I don't even think I had been in here for a hour but it seemed like an eternity. Members of the club had been in trying to get me out or at least speak to me, but none of them had made a difference, and none of the ones who left Stockton today had come in, who could really blame them, if I was on probation I wouldn't come in here either.

"I get a phone call," I tried to remember anything from all the cop shows Katie had been making me watch all year.

"You're right you do, which member would you like to call? I'd like to speak with them as well," he held out the phone to me, turning it around so I could dial.

"Hello?" Roosevelt quickly switched it to speaker but grunted as the person on the other line spoke again. "Hello?"

"Wayne? Do you think you could come get me?" I smirked at the dark skinned officer, there was no way in hell I was giving up a sons number.

"I'll be sure she knows the rules from now on," Unser backed out of the sheriff's office before shaking his head at me. "That cost me you know,"

"I'll pay you back how much?" I started following him, noticing he was in a suit for tonight; I didn't even know what time it was, had I missed it?

"Not everything costs in money, come on we are already running late,"

* * *

"I'm here!" I yelled as we pulled up to the reservation, "I'm here!" I yelled again as I saw that everyone but Vic was standing at the alter, we had made it just in time. A blond started down the aisle at the same speed that I was running up it and we quickly collided in the middle, and I felt my feet leave the ground.

"I missed you soo much," Jax said into my neck and I drove my head into his shoulder trying to get closer than humanly possible.

"I missed you so much more than that," I assured him and he still kept me in the air as we hugged, every eye was on us. I hadn't felt guilty until that moment for dropping everyone while they were inside, they would of never done that to me. "I'm sorry, I love you,"

"I love you so much more than that," he repeated and finally sat me down grabbing my hand and pulling me up to the front to stand beside Tara who was in the dress that Vic had picked out for us.

"You couldn't find time to change?" Gemma asked from the front row, but she was smiling. I was still in the ripped jeans and crop top long ago I had taken off the jacket in the heat of the police station. "Or a least a whole pair of jeans," they really were destroyed they probably were classified as shorts they were in such bad condition.

"These are my holy jeans," I said back and a murmor of laughs echoed through the aisle, my eyes quickly met his black ones, and for once I didn't look away.

"You just didn't want to wear this damn dress," Tara muttered trying to pull the fabric longer to cover her ass.

"You caught me," I agreed with her.

"Why are the Russians here?" I asked Gemma later that night after the wedding.

"Business Baby," she was watching the table the club was sitting around along with some Russians a little to closely.

"They just got out today," Tara came up behind us sighing at what we were watching.

"I'm drunk," Vic giggled sitting down beside Tara and I later that night. Our table was full of bottles and cans as well.

"Mmhmm," Tara nodded her head tipping back to finish her beer, "Where is Jax?" she scanned the reservation, all of SAMCRO was gone.

"Business Baby," I rolled my eyes mocking Gemma who had left the party hours ago with the kids in tow. I still hadn't spoken to Happy since I was taken in what a romantic reunion we were having..

"I would of killed you," Vic said as I filled her in on my trip downtown. " I was about to march my ass down there and got you," Tara laughed and sat her beer down "I heard about you and Hap," she smiled at me, and Tara agreed that she had heard too. "I knew that was what you were going to do all along,"

"Me too," I told her knowing it was the truth.

"The dynamic duo back together," she somehow found this funny and slapped the table causing half empty cups to spill.

"I think it's cute," Tara added cracking open another can that was sitting on the ground beside her feet as I filled a shot glass for Vic and I. "Besides I bet they fuck like animals!"

"Where is Romeo anyways?" Vic began skimming the crowd, this was definitely more than a wedding, all of the different clans here; Russians, Mayans, Grim Bastards, different charters of the Sons, and of course the CaraCara girls. Since Gemma had left long ago with all the kids the party had become much wilder since the sun sat; the only place that was lit up was the dance floor and the few tables surrounding it. Who knew what was going on in the dark.

"They are up to something," Vic continued.

"You don't say Scooby-Doo?" I laughed at the new bride as we both threw back our shot before setting up some more.

"You girls are wasted!" Jax said as he plopped down at our table, I wasn't sure if it had been minutes or hours; but most of SAMCRO could be seen around the venue now as well.

"Where is Hap?" I asked still not seeing him.

"He had something to take care of," Jax answered not looking me in the eye. I knew what that meant, I had learned long ago that Happy didn't have to take care of something, he had somebody to take care of.

"I have to pee," I said after throwing back three more shots with Jax and stood up on my Bambi feet. Inside the rest room I pulled out my cell calling Hap's last known number, disconnected, of course Juice would of given them all new burners. "Fuck," I muttered looking at myself in the mirror, my cheeks were bright red from the alcohol and my exposed stomach and arms were covered in goosebumps from the cold; also I was pretty sure my flip flops were in a mud puddle somewhere from earlier in the day.

"Hey whore," Ima said coming up to the sink beside me, trying to fix her ratty hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked the nasty blond who was standing beside me as I washed my hands. I knew she must have been around since they all were but I hadn't seen her yet.

"I thought I was here to get Jax," Ima smiled from beside me.

"You have no chance with him," Jax was utterly and completely in love with Tara.

"I know that, but something interesting happened," her cock sucking smile just grew bigger, "Happy looks good, really good," I felt my jaw lock up like the man in questions usually did. "Jail did nothing but wonders for him, you don't mind do you? I heard he dropped your ass," she got a response from me, but one she didn't expect, one I really didn't either. But the Jack Daniels running through my veins assured me it was the correct answer as I grabbed her stringy extensions and slammed her face into the mirror, shattering it. "What the fuck?" she screamed somehow unscathed. I grabbed her again this time bouncing her face off the sink and the scream that left her body this time did nothing but cheer me on for the next move; but all to quickly plans change as I was lifted off the ground for the second time that day, this time by my other brother.

"Bowie," he tried to calm me as I fought to get down to get her again, she was still crying and screaming in the middle of the bathroom as he lugged me off past the crowd that was now watching her.

"Put me down!" I tried to fight him as he put me over his shoulder, struggling to hit any part of him that I could reach.

"Damn it Bow," I pulled up a knee and slammed it into his collarbone causing him to drop me.

"Call Hap," Opie ordered Jax who was coming over to see what was going on. Tears were welding in my eyes as I opened my mouth to tell Opie it really hurt when he dropped me but something else completely came out of my mouth, and all over his shoes.

"Sorry," I muttered wiping my mouth on the back of my hand before puking all over again; gravity got the best of me as I laid down on the ground watching through though Opie's legs as Happy began putting a pile of bodies into the back of one of Unser's trucks, I recognized two faces as the world started slipping into darkness.

Putlova and Mike.

* * *

AN: Yeah, I know... it has been over a year, literally. But this story has been stuck in my mind since and of course I'm back watching the series on Netflix again! I am really interested in making this work again! So let me know what you think

My first order of business was getting Happy and Bowie back together! Are you glad? Upset?

The next chapter should be up in the next few days.

Bailey


	26. Chapter 26

Sometimes the sun was my friend, and sometimes it was my enemy; the morning after Vic's wedding it was definitely the latter of the two. The sun was peaking in through the shades just about blinding me. I knew from the smell of engine oil and sex that I was in the club house; far away from the Indian reservation I remembered being in last.

"Shit," I muttered feeling my head spin, the memory of last nights fight coming to mind, Opie and then finally Putlova and Mike's bodies.

"Morning," Happy's voice surrounded me cocooning me in a way I hadn't known I had missed so much.

"Shh don't talk to me, I'm still mad at you," I muttered putting my head into his ribs to hide the smirk on my face. He popped a black eye open at me as I peaked up at him and his chest bounced as he laughed.

"You didn't seem like it yesterday," he started running a hand up and down my back like he always had.

"Then wasn't the time," I assured him rolling my head off his chest so I could see him better.

"And now is?" he opened both eyes, watching me, waiting on an answer that could either make us or break us.

"It sucked! Your letter..," I began and he gave me a questioning look as his eyes went into the hard black orbs that they usually did, shutting out all emotion, he went to open his mouth but I cut him off, " being left behind so everyone said you dropped me like yesterday's trash,"

"You done?"

"When you left it sucked worse, and then you left me again,"

"Bow.."

"She wasn't your fault," I stopped him again, "Maybe she wasn't mine either, but she grew inside of me, I was supposed to keep her safe, and I didn't," I felt my eyes tear up at the words I never thought I'd say to Happy Lowman, "Because I knew when she was born you'd keep her safe like you always had me,"

"She was too beautiful, I'm not allowed to have something that precious," I couldn't believe his eyes matched mine.

"I didn't look, I couldn't," I tried to suck back the tears I didn't want to fall, "Katie was right, no matter how many years you were in jail, or how many years you would have been in Tachoma I'd be right here waiting for you!" I sat up but kept looking at him his eyes scanning my face as I spoke, "I could of left when you did, but I didn't; I stayed in our house, in Charming, waiting even when I tried to convince myself that I hated you and you'd never come back, I was still waiting,"

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long," he reached out and grabbed my hand interlacing our fingers.

"What do we do now?" I questioned.

"I'm not sure," I felt him shrug and I laid back down keeping our hands laced. Did we go back to how we had been or start all over as a new relationship? There was one thing I knew I needed back or it would never work.

"I don't want to be kept in the dark like the other girls Hap, it's all or nothing with club shit," he didn't respond, "I saw the Russians yesterday,"

"For Jax,"

"You killed a whole clan of Russians for a stabbing?"

"We are going a new way with the club," he shut his eyes and put his other arm over them.

"And Mike?" I knew that Happy had known every move I'd made while they were inside.

"No loose ends," he squeezed my hand tighter, "Besides he deserved to die for the shit you could of gotten mixed up in," I opened my mouth to ask another question but he pulled me up off the bed to straddle his waist. "Enough fucking talking," and our lips crashed together starting our usual dance for dominance and before I could even process what had been said both of us were naked.

* * *

"I'm working the day after my wedding," Vic complained from the front desk, the shop was empty today, Roosevelt had stressed out the town when it came to SAMCRO and our shop was included in the town ban. I shook my head at her from my seat, we had been sitting for hours.

"I know, you've almost broken a sweat," I rolled my eyes at her.

"Ope wouldn't own up to the Russians this morning, said they messed in some serious shit," she started picking at her nails, a habit she had developed in high school whenever she was annoyed.

"It was them, for Jax," I confirmed for her, even though I knew she had come to the conclusion herself.

"That is an awful lot of blood for a shanking,"

"Exactly," I agreed.

"Did you see how stressed the guys were when they left?" I knew she was talking about Jax and Ope, who had left in Ope's truck heading out towards the Reservation.

"Something big is happening," I agreed.

"So how was it?" a smirk spread across her face, "I saw you stayed with Happy last night,"

"What do you think they could be up to?" I asked trying to change the subject, I knew it would come up, I saw her face when Happy and I had come out of his bedroom at the club house, he was heading out to Katie's house to finally see her, but I noticed he had left his bike behind and taken Unser's truck from last night with him.

"I think you are changing the subject," I didn't say anything to her, just watched her as she waited for me to give her any bit of information. "If they killed all the Russians, it means they are doing business with someone bigger,"

"But who?" I asked, they were already mixed up with the IRA who could be bigger than that?

"That is up for you to figure out, Opie doesn't tell me shit," she signed at the front door opened up and Tara came flying in.

"We've got to go," she was frantic as she just about ripped our new door off the hinges, "Jax and Opie have been taken,"

"One day, they've been out for one fucking day," Tara was tapping her foot on the ground beside us at the picnic table. "One day," she muttered again. Vic was sitting on the other side tapping her foot as well.

"Didn't they kill all the Russians?" Vic noticed me watching her, the rest of the club was running around the lot trying to figure out the next move, apparently the fire department and sheriff Roosevelt had destroyed the club house but we could only deal with one problem at a time.

"I guess not all of them,"

"How did we get mixed up with the Russians anyways?" Vic asked another question.

"Jimmy O," Tara and I both answered.

"Did Mike let onto anything?"

"I haven't spoken to him since the airport," I didn't add in the part that I had seen Happy loading up his dead body last night. "That security guy handed him that envelope of cash and I left," I knew that kind of cash was never good. I had turned around in the terminal after seeing it and headed straight to my car never turning back and he had never called. My phone started vibrating in my pocket and I left the girls behind as I answered the phone.

"Where are you?" Happy's deep voice brought my nerves down the moment I heard them.

"Club house, are you okay?" I knew he was, he had been in Bakersfield when all this shit went down.

"Yeah, stay there," the line went quiet as he hung up. Finally the bikes in the parking lot started up and left with Clay ahead of the pack.

"Roosevelt is already on my nerves," Vic huffed when I sat down beside her so we could see where Jax, Opie and Happy's bikes were still sitting.

"He hasn't got his bike?" she asked noticing it as well.

"He took Unser's truck," that caused both girls brows to raise in confusion.

"Why would he take a truck to Bakersfield?" Tara questioned trying to put all the pieces together.

"It isn't why, it is what is in it," I informed her, "We know it isn't Russians," we could speak about the situation without looking over our shoulder at TM.

"Guns? Money? Hostages?" Vic knew more than Tara just what exactly the club was capable of, Tara still held hope that they would do the right thing, but Happy was never in a vehicle with a door unless he was doing something more than questionable.

"Why take whatever it is to Katie's?"

"Let me find out," I pulled my phone back out again and dialed up the Bakerfield's most feared Mother.

"It is about time you called," I knew she wasn't smiling but I also knew that look of annoyance wasn't across her face like it usually was, Katie Lowman was more than relieved to see her son after 14 months of incarceration.

"How are you?" I had to make small talk I knew I couldn't out right and ask.

"Why did you call Bowie?" well, I didn't think I could call out right, "My boy okay? He just left about half an hour ago,"

"He's fine, I just spoke to him," I didn't add anything about the rest of the club. "Why did they bring that truck? What is in it?" I saw Gemma leaving her office and walking towards us, so much for subtlety asking the woman.

"Whatever it is, it is wooden cases," she coughed a few times before speaking again, "Big ones, Surfer boy was here with him and the new one,"

"Kozik and Miles?" I asked again, I hadn't seen them this morning now that I thought about it.

"Says they are staying here for a few days," she added without answering my question about the house guests. "They got a call in the middle of lunch, loaded the boxes up again and left,"

"He on his bike or the truck again?" Happy had another bike at his Moms house, one that he used when the club went on longer runs, it was set up for more comfort even though I think Happy could ride his bike for 2 years straight and still be fine.

"No a big liquor truck," Gemma was so close at this point I could see her eyeliner on her top lid.

"Okay, well I was just checking on you," I knew she would understand.

"My boy seemed happy," now she was smiling, that much was for sure.

"Me too," I added before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Gemma asked sitting down on the picnic table.

"Kaite," I informed her, flipping the phone over so the back up only showing. "I was just checking up on her," I repeated again.

"That bitch is to stubborn to die, I don't know why everyone is worried," she scanned the lot as Piney pulled in, "About like that one, I think the reaper came for him years ago,"

"I heard he told him to fuck off," Vic laughed watching her now Father in-law park his bike.

"Yeah, just think about what you've got to look forward with Opie, he's just like his father," Gemma smirked before getting up and walking back towards her office.

"Well what did Katie say?" Tara asked, she could barely wait till Gemma was out of ear shot.

"Big wooden crates," she looked confused. "Guns," Anger coursed through my veins at the realization I was coming to, they were keeping guns hidden at Katie's home, big guns.

"They must of killed the Russians to get the guns," Vic added, "I knew that was to much of a revenge plot for a stabbing,"

"He almost died," Tara snapped.

"Still to much to take out the Russian Mafia, to buck up against that you've got to have something else much larger going on,"

"So the guns are the Russians?" I put the idea out on the table.

"And they need them to impress whoever is new,"

"Jax didn't tell me any of this,"

"Because you didn't ask, he isn't going to come out right with the information, you've got to figure some shit out yourself, you've got to know the questions to ask," Even when Happy and I were together he tried not to make to much fuss over what the club was up to, he'd let me know what he was doing and the important parts of what was going on, but never the nitty gritty. This morning he had said they were going a new way, that was him not lying but not telling the truth at the same time; that is how it would always be with all of them.

"Opie doesn't tell me shit,"

"He's his fathers son," I reminded her.

"Piney won't share any info about the letters either, just says the past needs to stay the past," Tara was still mad at him.

"They only way we are going to find out the whole truth is if one of you knows how to make a time machine,"

"Well, you're a DR. so clearly you are the smartest one," Vic looked over at Tara before the three of us started laughing.

An hour or so later we were still on the picnic table, Gemma had now joined us but she wasn't saying very much, but she was watching Tara closely, a little too close for comfort.

"Thank god," Gem muttered, hearing the bikes in the distance and getting out heading towards the gate, she always had to be the first one they saw, like she had been standing there waiting the whole time. I noticed all three of us rolled our eyes as the guy's bikes pulled in followed by Unser's truck that clearly had the three guys in it. Tara took off running for Jax and Vic wasn't too far behind her as Opie hopped out of the truck; but when the last set of boots hit the pavement out of the truck I couldn't keep my eyes on my friends he was all consuming everything I had, my thoughts, my vision, my skin popped goosebumps.

"Miss me?" his deep voice ran down my back causing the hairs to stand up.

"Did you leave?" I questioned putting a smirk on my face and he mirrored it.

"come on," he put his heavy arm over my shoulder and we followed everyone else into the destroyed club house, the smirk he had worn in quickly left his handsome face. Axe marks covered the walls and every bit of glass was broken, it was almost as bad as the mess Weston had left at our shop. The wall where they had kept the mug shots was completely destroyed and glass and frames were all over the place in front of it, but the most shocking thing was the axe that was currently stuck out of the redwood table in the chapel that was now missing the doors.

"God Hap, this guy isn't playing around," I mumbled following him around, no person of authority had ever bucked up against them like this, to attack the club house, their inner sanctuary; not even Stahl had the balls to do that.

"We aren't either," he growled back, he was tense just like a bull dog ready to pounce, his home had been attacked.

"Hey everybody!" Tara yelled over the murmurs of anger that was echoing through the club house, "We have an announcement," she began digging in her jeans as Jax walked over towards her looking a little confused. She pulled a ring out of her pocket and slipped it on her finger. "We're engaged!" she held her hand up to the room before it erupted with praise.

"Shots!" Tig yelled from behind the bar and the sound of glasses tapping against the bar took over. I got out from under Hap's arm and headed towards Tara as the guys rounded Jax.

"Why didn't you say anything you bitch?" Vic beat me to her and was already questioning her.

"Waiting to see if the Russians killed them didn't seem like a good time," Tara laughed as Vic inspected her ring. I noticed our circle was a little light as Tig handed us some shots. Gemma was sitting on a cut up couch watching us a little too closely.

She already knew something was up with us.

* * *

"I'm sure this is just what you both dreamed about after 14 months, spending the night at my house," Katie rolled her eyes at the dinner table, Hap and I had decided to stay over with her, he drove Unser's truck over, which had the guns in them and I drove my car over.

"It definitely was what I had in mind," Kozik was also staying over, he was sitting at the table with us with a plate rounded over of mash potatoes that Katie had prepared with dinner. "Being with my best friend, and Happy," he joked before shoveling in a spoonful.

"How long are you and that other boy staying for?" Katie questioned him rolling her eyes, Koz and Miles were already driving her to drink, but the only problem with her is that it usually wasn't a saying in her world, I think she had been sneaking vodka in the pitcher of lemonade she always toted around with her. Miles had been MIA since we landed, apparently he had some little girlfriend in the city.

"Why are you guys staying here?" I asked, we had already come to the conclusion before but I thought I'd play stupid, at least in front of Koz.

"It's a little crowded at the club house," he replied before eating some more, he had always lied way too easy.

"So you came way out to Bakersfield?" I decided to push a little harder. He only nodded his head but a pair of black eyes narrowed at me, and I quickly took a drink of my water turning my head away from him feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Come on," Hap stood up and grabbed my arm pulling me away from the table before I could question Kozik any further. We headed out the door and the humid air quickly left a film on my exposed arms.

"Where are we going?" he just grunted as he lead us over to my car; somehow he had my keys in his pocket. He didn't say anything as he shoved my seat back further away from the steering wheel and waited for me to get in.

"Usually when you car jack someone you don't take them with you," I smirked over at him watching him fight with the seat belt, his sworn enemy, something he didn't need to fool with on his bike.

"This fucking cage," he muttered and I laughed out loud at him, "You couldn't of got a new one in all these years?"

"No, it's a good car," I rolled my eyes as he turned it on and we backed out of the driveway. "You still haven't told me where we are going,"

"You ask too many questions," he put his sunglasses down over his black eyes and rolled the window down.

"Well you ask them then,"

"Don't have any to ask," he didn't look over at me.

"No because you have someone watching every move I make,"

"Don't flatter yourself, you usually tell on yourself," finally a smirk met his face.

"Why are you keeping guns at Katie's?" I came right out and asked, "Is that why Jax and Opie got taken? You have the Russian's guns?" he let out a very vocal sigh.

"Can't you just let it be?"

"I'm not a member of the Beatles, sorry," I put my feet up on my dashboard, "What happens if you get caught with guns in your house, you just got out,"

"That's why Miles and Kozik are staying," he said like it was the most obvious explanation.

"For how long?"

"Till we get new storage set up," he turned into a parking lot and turned off the car as he parked. "Anything else?" I couldn't find the words to answer when I saw out the windshield.

"Awe Hap," an ice cream stand was in front of us, one he had taken me to before right after my Dad's funeral he had driven me here right after, back then we didn't speak we barely knew each other even after 10 years; but there was something about him, dragging me to his bike and driving me all the way out to Bakersfield that really spoke volumes about him. It was the beginning of our relationship even if neither of us knew it.

"Will you stop asking questions now?" he unbuckled and waited for me at the front of the car.

"You remember?" Call me a bitch but honestly I didn't think that small moment in our past had been that memorable to him.

"I remember everything with you" he crossed his arms as we walked side by side towards the ice cream stand and questions about guns and Russians left my mind.

* * *

AN: What do you think? Let me know! I also want to thank everyone who commented and sent me PM over the last year and recently, I really appreciate it it keeps me motivated (okay so maybe I was MIA for a year)

What should happen next?

-Bailey


	27. Chapter 27

"That dumb one lost them," Katie shook her head looking out the kitchen window at Happy, Kozik and Miles. There was never a boring day around here.

"Teenagers took the guns?" I shook my head looking out the window as well, "Happy is going to kill him," Usually that was an expression but not being in the group we were in, Happy might really kill Kozik, and to think everything was going normally before I got in the shower 15 minutes ago.

"Those damn ghetto kids out back," she finally dropped the curtain and turned towards me a huge smile on her face, this was the first time we had been alone since Happy had landed home a few days ago. "So, you finally took my advice,"

"And what advice would that be?" I played dumb getting a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Don't play stupid with me girl," she always knew exactly what I was doing. "Finally, that letter was out of the question, if I had a will I would of wrote my son out of it that moment, he is so much like his father,"

"You don't know who his father is," I reminded her with a smile, she just hated to admit that her son was exactly like her.

"That doesn't matter," she sat down as well and I noticed how deeply she was breathing, simply moving from the window to the table had winded her. "Finally my kids are back together,"

"It has been three days, don't send out the wedding invitations," my cheeks almost cracked as my smile spread wider. Before she could get a smart ass remark out of her mouth the front door flew open and Happy filled it anger was painted all over his face, deep deep anger.

"Gonna be a long day babe," he walked over to me and kissed my temple, he had been up and gone when I woke up this morning.

"That's okay, got work," and I needed to change, I was wearing yesterday's clothes and somehow Happy had torn my bra wide open last night.

"I'll call you later," I nodded at him before giving him a soft kiss.

"Be safe," I grabbed the front of his cut straightening it out, "You behave," I addressed Katie.

"Bye my sweet girl," she smirked looking between Hap and I.

"And don't kill Kozik, he's my favorite," I raised my eyebrows at Hap before walking out the front door.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Vic looked more than annoyed sitting behind the front desk when I got to work, she had Violet over her shoulder trying to burp her.

"I didn't know it was bring you baby to work day," I tried to fuck with her.

"We aren't doing anything else," she pointed her free arm around the empty shop.

"It is always like this when shit goes on with the club," I reminded her, "What is eating your asshole today?"

"Not Opie," she muttered and I shook my head trying to loose that picture out of my mind, "He won't tell me anything!"

"Did you really think he was going to?" I put my hands on my hips watching the new mother.

"I basically told him I knew exactly what was going on!" Violet let out a whine before she started hushing her.

"Give him time, you've been married for a minute and a half Vic," looking at our appointment book I saw it was empty. "Come on, we are getting lunch," turning the closed sign on I put my purse back over my shoulder waiting at the door for her giving her no choice.

"I just can't stand it," she got into the car after securing Violet into her seat. "Being on the outside, Jax and Happy tell you everything,"

"You guys are just having a moment, you just had a baby and got married, you're his old lady and he's old school Vic, he was taught not to share."

"You're not supposed to have a rough patch two days after your wedding it is supposed to be a honeymoon phase," she muttered taking a sharper than necessary turn. "Damn Donna for dying, they would still be married and I'd still be fucking Juice and not worrying about shit like this,"

"You've been in love with Opie since you learned what love was," I couldn't help but smirk on her, she knew it was the truth, when we were younger she hung the moon by him and threw herself into whoring around after Donna and Ope were married.

"Do you ever think we don't know what love is? We were raised by rolling stone bikers maybe we are just going through the motions, who did we have to look up to in this department? Gemma and Clay?"

"Murder is so romantic," I rolled my eyes. "We know what love is,"

"Yeah, you and Happy that's love," we pulled into a parking lot at Don's Dinner. "It has been years and you two still can't take your eyes off each other, even when you were hating each other. Opie doesn't trust me, maybe Donna was it for him," her beautiful brown eyes started glossing over as the sun reflected on the tears forming.

"Donna didn't know shit, she didn't even know he was back working for SAMCRO until the end," a tear slipped down her cheek at the same time Violet started screeching as well and that only caused Vic to start crying harder.

"Vic look at me," she finally did and the crocodile tears running down her face broke my heart. "This is just one moment in time, things will change, and besides we have a murder to solve,"

"We have the who done it, just not the why," one side of her mouth popped a small grin. "Lets eat," she sniffled before getting out of the car to get her crying daughter out of her car seat.

* * *

"What happened?" We demanded of Tara as we walked into her office after getting a frantic call from her.

"Margaret found Gemma in here yesterday, she had locked herself in," she had the letters on top of her desk, "And these are out of order,"

"We are dead," Vic muttered plopping down on Tara's couch.

"She was back today, I moved the key so she couldn't get to them," before either of us could reply the door flew open and the woman in question filled the doorway.

"You girls keeping something from me?" she held up a crayon covered piece of paper between her fingers. If it had been a cartoon you could of heard all of us swallow a wad of spit that had collected in our mouth.

"What is that?" I questioned I wasn't sure if I was the bravest one or the dumbest one.

"A letter, I found in Abel's coloring book," she moved till she was right in front of Vic and I on the couch, "None of you girls would know anything about that?" this time silence found me as well. Gemma started talking filling in the empty space that was occupying the Dr's office. She began telling us the story of JT going to Ireland and leaving her behind, how she had fallen in love with Clay, humiliating JT; she informed Tara and Vic about Trinity, which I had already done and she brought the whole story around to Thomas, trying to get the sympathy vote. "This could hurt our family," the statement was supposed to be a warning but it was definitely a threat. What she meant to say was her position as Clay's old lady could hurt everyone and anyone that she wanted it, including us.

"Well we know one thing," I spoke to the girls in the room after Gemma had left, giving it time to make sure she was gone, "She had something to do with it,"

"What makes you say that?" Tara asked, she had lost all the color in her face, she never expected to be found out especially in two days.

"Dogs bite when they are backed up in a corner," Vic looked completely different then the girl I had walked in here with, that threat had given her life, she was eating up this situation with a spoon.

"And Gemma Teller is nothing but a bitch," I finished. Gemma had a hand in killing her husband.

"We need to move these," she picked up the letters she had thrown a book over when Gemma had come in, "I have to put a high chair in storage today, I'm putting them there,"

"Make copies," Vic ordered, "Leave them in the desk, if they steal them at least we have the originals," I agreed with her.

"Leave the copies in the desk, she won't be able to stand knowing they are there,"

"And if she brings Clay into this?" The Dr asked, pushing her hair out of her face looking a little green.

"Then we are fucked," Vic and I both said at the same time, "If he comes after us we bring Jax into it,"

"He wants to leave SAMCRO, says he's got an out," Tara spit out like it had been sitting on the tip of her tongue the whole day. "I'm afraid that out will cost him his life," my heart sank, Jax couldn't leave SAMCRO it had been his whole life, our whole life. Would Opie leave when he did? Would they stay in Charming? Jax, Opie and I were a package deal since day one, siblings. I didn't have to think twice about if Happy would leave, this was his life.

"What happened?" Tara, Vic and I were all standing in the TM parking lot later that day and the club house door exploded open as all of SAMCRO slammed out, none of them looking happy; something had gone wrong today and I knew from Happy's phone call earlier that they had gotten the guns back from the teenagers.

"I'll see you girls later," I started following Happy's retreating form as he slammed off towards his bike, and the girls nodded each following their respective member.

"Hey!" I yelled but he kept walking, "You call me out here then go without me,"

"We are leaving," he still didn't turn towards me, he just got on his bike holding out a helmet to me. It relaxed me to see him back on his bike, it was like seeing a Mother back with her children, or a fisherman getting back on his boat. Happy didn't belong in a liquor truck, he belonged on a bike no doors, no rules.

"Lets get out of here then," I got on the back of the bike hooking the helmet as he put on his before I wrapped my arms around his middle tighter then necessary and he pulled us onto the road. My smile grew as Happy took the familiar turns until he reached my house, our house. "You coming home?" I asked him, we were still on the bike and I pressed a kiss to the back of his neck after I took off the helmet.

"You want me to?" he put a hand on my thigh and squeezed it.

"If you want," I shrugged my shoulders but I didn't mean it, of course I wanted him there, it shouldn't of been a question. "Do you want to?"

"Do you want me to?" he repeated squeezing my thigh again.

"Yes, I want you to come home Happy Lowman," another kiss to the back of his warm neck.

"Then I'm coming home," this time he slapped my thigh telling me to get off the bike, it only took him a moment to get off the bike and throw me over his shoulder carrying me towards the house as I laughed, staring at the back of his cut.

* * *

"You're serious?" I questioned Happy the next morning, "No club shit?"

"I'm not going," he took a drink from the coffee cup in front of him. Whatever had happened yesterday had really pissed off Happy, causing him to decide not to go on a run down south with the rest of the guys. "I'm allowed to miss a run or two," he rolled his eyes at me. He had woken me up bright and early and informed me we were going on a road trip and I could tell by the dark circles under his eyes that he hadn't slept at all last night, I was well rested and still in a sheet sitting at the table.

"I didn't say you weren't," his attitude confirmed my assumption about his sleep. "Where are we going?" I tried to change the subject feeling a fight brewing.

"Does it matter?" he barely let me finish speaking before he answered.

"Guess not," I couldn't let him have the last word as I wrapped my sheet around me tighter and headed down the hall towards my room. I should of known we couldn't even live together for 24 hours without a fight, a fight for once had nothing to do with either of us.

"Hey," he gruff voice jumped me as I pulled on my jeans, I had forgotten how sneaky he could be, "shit is just upside down with club shit," that was as much of an apology that Happy was going to provide me.

"Yeah I get it," I didn't.

"You coming with?" he pulled me by my hips towards him, allowing no emotions to meet his face.

"Mhhm," I nodded and he pressed his rough lips to mine.

"We're leaving in ten," the sound of his hand slapping my butt echoed through the whole room before he left me. I quickly shoved some toiletries in my purse and a clean pair of panties knowing I wouldn't be able to bring a bag on the bike. When I was ready I went down the hall to find Happy when I noticed that the spare room door was cracked open, a room I always kept shut, the light purple walls haunted me at night a few years ago I had begged Jax to take the crib out of there and take it away; Happy must have been in there last night.

"Cage or Bike?" He was standing in the driveway, after I locked the door, waiting on me.

"Bike," I smirked like it was any kind of question and a small grin met his face as well while he spun a toothpick he always seemed to have in his mouth.

"Atta girl," he lead the way to his bike.

"That was so good," I smiled as I finished the cheese burger and fries that I had ordered for lunch. Happy had driven us straight up the highway until we were hungry and my ass was completely numb from the bike. We had found a small town on the ocean that was clearly set up for the tourist season, which wasn't for a few months so it was pretty calm.  
"Glad," he had lost the smile he had as we were standing it line to order at the food truck.

"Okay, what is going on Hap?" I questioned, "What happened yesterday?"

He let out an angry sign before looking away from me, "Just a close vote," shit like that could tear the table completely apart causing under the wraps moves to be made.

"About what?" I dipped another fry into a cup of ketchup. The sun was beating down on us at the picnic table on the beach, Happy had long since lost his shirt and cut, all his tattoos were glistening with sweat.

"Some deep shit," he adjusted his sunglasses, "What direction we are taking SAMCRO in," he may as well been speaking in riddles, it was another one of those situations where I had to figure it out before I asked the big questions. "Come on," he was once again trying to distract me from my questions.

"Hold on," I stopped him from dragging me as my phone vibrated in my jeans pocket; he kept walking towards the water as I stayed behind.

 **The Cartel, they are working with the fucking Mexican Cartel** Tara had sent me a text and my heart started beating a million miles a minute. No wonder it was a tough vote! Why the hell would they be doing deals with the Cartel?

"Bowie!" Happy yelled down from beside the ocean and I quickly shoved the phone back in my pocket like he could read it that far away. When I finally got up to him he had dropped his jeans and was standing on the beach in his boxers.

"What the hell are you doing?" I laughed,while he reached out grabbing the bottom of my t-shirt.

"We are swimming," he informed me like it was the most obvious thing.

"I don't have a swim suit," I tried to push his hands away but he got my shirt off and started on the button of my jeans.

"Good enough," he pulled them down until thicker part of my thighs.

"Hap," I kept laughing trying to pull them back up before he lifted me off the ground and threw me over his shoulder getting allowing him to get the rest of my jeans off, dropping them off the ground. "Hap," I tried again but I only got a laugh in response as he headed towards the water with me still over his shoulder. Cold water splashed up on me as he walked us out further into the water. "Don't you dare!" I slapped his back only to receive another slap on the ass before cold water surrounded me as I dropped into the water.

"I can't believe you threw me in the damn ocean," I laughed after getting out of the shower in the hotel room we had gotten. He was sitting on the bed in his jeans, his boxers were laid out to dry along with my clothes. "You know what this means?" I asked I was standing there dripping water wearing his SAMCRO shirt from earlier.

"That we have to hang out naked all day," he reached out for me grabbing the bottom of the shirt.

"Nope," I smirked and the bone on his forehead moved as he ground his teeth. "Shopping," he didn't stop pulling the shirt until I was straddling his lap.

"Naked," he argued attacking my neck.

"No," I tried to push him back, "You owe me one run through a tourist shop,"

"Tomorrow," he mumbled against my neck running his tongue down the length before pulling off my shirt completely leaving me naked.

We had been in bed for hours, right through dinner and breakfast the next morning, not leaving once just making up for 3 years of time.

"We should sleep," he ran his fingers through my hair.

"What are you guys doing with the Cartel?" the words blurted out before my brain could send up red alert and Hap quickly sat up causing me to land face first on the mattress.

"Damn it Bowie," he rubbed the back of his bald head running it over the snake that was tattooed there. "Can't you just leave it alone,"

"You know I'm not that girl," I shouldn't have to remind him. "Are you mixed up in something you can't get out of?"

"It was a club vote, I stand behind the club," I thought he teeth would break he grit them so tight and his black irises filled his eyes completely.

"Guns?" I wasn't buying it. "Why?"

"We needed to find someone to buy guns, to keep the Irish happy," he admitted.

"So you killed the Russians as a way of buying them out," he only nodded. "Jesus Hap, and you voted it in?"

"I didn't," thats why he was mad, he had voted no, but somehow the nays have lost and the math started in my head.

"Jax and Ope?" maybe my fears were coming true, maybe Jax and Opie were trying to get out of the club together; my brothers were trying to leave me. Happy's phone went off in the corner and he quickly jumped up to get it leaving me with a good view of his bare ass but in the moment it didn't matter.

"We've got to head back soon," he was in front of me after his phone call that was clearly club shit, "The stores should be open,"

"Nah, just take me home," I got off the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

* * *

AN: Thank you to everyone who commented and messaged, it means a lot to me! Let me know what you think about this chapter and what should happen next

BTW I don't anything SOA

-Bailey


	28. Chapter 28

"Just the girl I was looking for," I didn't think I had seen Piney in my shop..ever.

"Are you sick?" he continued on his way to an empty chair, since all of them were empty.

"Tara won't give me the letters," he crossed his arms over his chest and I noticed a hospital bracelet on his arms.

"Were you in the hospital?" I asked again this time meaning it, making my way over to him, "What happened?"

"Where are those letters," he didn't even blink as he bluntly ignored my question. "I need them,"

"For what?"

"Clay has made the wrong move this time," he huffed deeply and readjusted the oxygen tank he always had on his shoulder. "I'm going to bring it to the table,"

"Is it true?"

"Your Father and I always had our own...speculation on what happened,"

"And did you never thought to bring it up before now?" I sat in a chair beside him.

"Clay has a whole army behind him, Gemma, Unser, all of the charters," he took a moment to get a breath, "It didn't seem like a fight we could win; but we always watched him."

"Why now? Why after almost 20 years,"

"Your Father brought it up to him once, after he took away your dads S.A patch and gave it to Tig." his face lost all the anger that had been upon it, leaving it completely blank, "He was shot 3 days later," my eyes began burning hearing those words out of his mouth and a ringing started in both ears.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I stood up needed to do something as anger coursed through my body starting at my toes until my hair felt like it as on fire. All this time Piney had stood by while his two best friends had been murdered, seemingly at the hands of the same person. "I lived with him, in his home!"

"You were so young, so angry, you would of tried to kill him,"

"He would of deserved it,"

"And we would have been burying YOU next!" He spat out standing up, "I've been watching over you and Jax your whole life, both of you are hot headed if there was even an ounce of speculation about Clay he would of found a way to finish you next,"

"He's a monster," my bottom lip quivered, "But you are no better, for standing by following his orders,"

"Someone had to protect you,"

"From WHAT? The truth?" I turned away from him, "And Unser covered it up again," the report had said that he was a victim of gang crime, the club had told me a rouge member of the Mayans had taken him out at an exchange.

"Clay Morrow will pay for what he's done," I could feel him getting closer behind me.

"Get out," Everyone that was supposed to be my parental figures had been lying to me, my whole life. First they lied about JT's death, then my own father at the hands of the people the took me in after his funeral, offered me a place to stay and to rest my head. Gemma had packed me a lunch everyday of my senior year, bought me my first car allowing me to pay it off through a job working in the office at TM. Did they do it out of guilt, keeping me close to know if I strayed? The man I had called and trusted to get me out of jail had covered up my father's death, had lied to me that night all those years ago at the club house as I looked down at my father's body trying to find a way to say goodbye.

"I need those letters doll," he rested a heavy hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed at him causing both of us to jump. He nodded his head and started towards the door as I watched him; finally an emotion was written across his face other then the anger that had permanently been there the last few months, sadness, I had broken his heart.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, both Troy and I did"

"Who else knows?"

"No one," he turned back to the door, "I'm sorry Doll," a nickname he had used for me since I was born, "I love you," the bell over the door chimed as he started out it.

"I love you too," I called out not being able to lie to him, no matter how pissed I was.

"Don't go burning bridges, people who do end up dead," with that he finally left leaving me alone in the shop. Instantly I picked up the phone calling the only person that could help me straighten out my brain.

"Where are you?" I quickly asked after Vic had said hello.

"Heading to Tara's office,"

"Stay there, I'm coming," I hung up before she could ask anymore questions.

"What's wrong," Vic just about ran me over as I opened the door of Tara's office, she knew something was wrong just from our 5 second phone call; Tara had her eyes on both of us from behind her desk as Vic wrapped her arms around me and I couldn't help the sobs that escaped.

"Clay killed my Dad," I felt myself drop to the ground and she went down with me still holding onto me.

Once I had calmed down and caught my breath I began filling them in on Piney and I's conversation that morning.

"He got admitted yesterday," Tara began once I was done talking, "Asked for the letters but I didn't tell them where they were,"

"Jesus," Vic was sucking back tears after holding me for so long, I had heard many stories about friendship over the years in books and movies but it was true with ours, you cry I cry, you die I die; she had always been there since as far back as I could remember she was from Barbie doll and mud pie days. We were never forced together we were just drawn together like some fucked up magnet and had never been pulled apart even when we were ready to kill each other. "What have we stumbled onto?"

"A 20 year lie,"

"Piney didn't know that JT wanted to get out of guns, they had no clue why Clay was after them," she now could include my Dad in they.

"And 20 years later they are still running guns," Vic added, "It was all for money,"

"What is Gemma's part in this?" Tara questioned, she wanted any reason to hate the woman, a part of it always annoyed me but not now, not that the truth was so black and white in front of us. "So far she's only guilty of cheating on her husband, who was cheating on her,"

"And for lying about his death!," Vic reminded her, like we needed reminding.

"Someone had to tell Clay that JT wanted out of guns, not running guns could be the end of SAMCRO, even back then,"

"And Gemma would never let that happen," Tara sighed, "The club is her life,"

"The ultimate power trip," Vic knew it was the truth, she was all about power trips as well. "And now she's keeping the club alive to make sure her son sits at the head of the table,"

"So why kill Troy? He had no proof?" It seemed strange hearing Tara say his name, did she even remember him?

"Mayhem," I blurted out, and Tara looked confused. "The punishment for killing a member is death, Dad must of told him that he knew about JT!"

"He still had no proof,"

"Clay is a paranoid old bastard, he always has been,"

"So we've solved a murder,"

"Two," I interrupted Vic.

"Now what do we do with it?"

"The same thing my Dad did, sit on it until we can use it to our advantage,"

"And hope Clay Morrow doesn't shoot us," Vic finished.

"And keep those letters away from Piney, he's ready to die for them," Tara's name was called over the loud speaker and we were finally pulled out of our conversation.

* * *

"No! NO!" I muttered the following morning as my phone rang way too early, I was finally catching up on some sleep from the past few days and Happy was staying in Bakersfield last night along with Miles and Kozik.

"This better be good Victoria," Violets screeches met my ears before the sobbing of her Mother.

"Have you seen Ope?" she sounded exhausted, "He never came home last night, I tried calling him and his phone is dead,"

"I'm sure he's fine," I shut my eyes again.

"He better be dead for not coming home last night, she's been crying for hours! She's fed, she's been changed! He was supposed to bring Ellie and Kenny to school this morning!" she started crying harder only to be met with more screams from Violet. "It's over between us Bow, I know it! He is avoiding me,"

"Listen, I'll take them to school and see if I can go find Ope," she let out another sob before agreeing and thanking me. I quickly shoved on some clothes before heading to her house in the early morning, I was sure my large sunglasses weren't covering up the fact that my eyes were narrowed in anger at being out of bed to do my brother's job. I tried to call Ope's phone and like Vic had said it went straight to voicemail. _"Damn it Ope,"_ I knew it was early but I dialed up Jax's number and to my surprise he answered right away.

"Where is Opie?" I quickly asked my other brother, who was way to cheerful for 7 AM.

"Haven't seen him, he was at the club house when I saw him last, he should be heading up to the warehouse soon,"

"He's dead when I find him," I informed Jax earning myself a laugh before we got off the phone. Vic was already in the drive way along with the kids who smiled and ran towards my car yelling my name.

"Thank you so much! I love you!" Vic looked every bit of a mom of three standing beside my car that morning, her hair was in a large knotted bun on top of her head, her light pink robe had throw up on the front and what I believed to be some eggs, she barefoot and bouncing Violet on her hip as she handed both Ellie and Kenny their backpacks.

"You owe me," I advised her waiting on both kids to buckle up, "I'll let you know if I find him," I didn't add the part about him staying at the club house last night.

"I'll see you later," she waved as we backed out of the driveway and towards the elementary school.

Much to my surprise all of the bikes were gone when I pulled up to TM and I started to turn around knowing Gemma wouldn't be there this early when a familiar car caught my eye and my stomach dropped. I hadn't seen Ima since the wedding, I was still pissed and I quickly put my car into park wanting to ruin her morning like everyone else had ruined mine. The main part of the club was empty, not even a crow eater was in sight; so I quickly started searching rooms for the slutty blonde so I could kick her out, her anger would bring me so much joy, besides that is what she gets for talking about Happy. Everyone that would have been sleeping with her rooms were empty, she wasn't in Juice's, Tig's or Bobby's and I was about to give up maybe she was just getting work done on her car when I heard a cough come out of Jax's old room. My heart sank and my brain started thumping as I grabbed onto the door handle opening it only to be met by the woman I had been searching for standing with wet hair in one of Opie's shirts.

"You fucking Bitch!" I yelled at her and she took off running towards the bathroom that was attached, and I knew she locked the door behind her. But at the moment it wasn't her I wanted,I would deal with her later. I went into auto pilot as I jogged back towards my car, not my best fucking friend! It didn't matter who Opie was, if he was my real damn brother he wasn't going to do this to Vic, not without me saying something about it! I took every turn towards the warehouse they had just gotten from Oswald on what felt like two wheels, As I ran through every word I was going to say to Ope, everything he could say back to me, I had ran over the conversation a million times in my head and had a million different outcomes; All of which I hoped ended with the fact that somehow that gash had ended up with his shirt and he had nothing to do with it. I slammed into park behind Happy's bike and not even knowing he was there warmed up the cold blood running through my veins.

"Hey!" a Mayan biker I had seen around town a few times was standing guarding the door and tried to yell at me to stop!

"Eat shit!" I yelled back to him and keep going though a crowd of Mayans who were trying to stop me the whole way but I still hadn't seen any of the guys but I could hear them.

"HARRY WINSTON!" I screamed opening the only door that was in the large barn they called a warehouse, and what felt like a million set of eyes met mine, Mayan and Sons alike! There he was, standing there with matching wet hair, they had showered together. "YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!" Okay so all the things I was going to say to him didn't matter, words couldn't find me as I charged him and the guys yelled my name, but Opie didn't move. "How could you! You asshole!" I hit his chest with my fist, I heard Happy say my name but it that didn't matter either. "You are going to wreck everything!" I hit him hard this time, right in the stomach and he bowed down so he was my hight and tears I didn't know had formed fell down my cheeks, tears for my best friend and myf niece, some for the guy I was assaulting.

"Bowie," Bobby grabbed my arm to stop me from swinging the fist I had pulled back forward into Opie's face.

"She just had your damn baby! She fed your kids breakfast and I drove them to school so you could fuck that skank!" I shoved him with my free hand.

"Damn," Alvaraz whistled from the corner catching my attention.

"Shut the hell up!" I pointed my finger at him and a few of the Mayan's moved in closer only to met Happy's growl.

"Stop," Jax came between Ope and I. "Bowie.."

"Go home Bowie," Clay cut Jax off and my eyes narrowed at him, he was standing at the head of the a table, but what was on the table allowed my eyes to grow. Bags and Bags of cocaine.

"Jesus Christ!" they all noticed me looking at it.

"You!" I turned my attention back to Opie not knowing what else to do, was this the big vote that Happy was so mad about? Drugs? Was it the Mayans or the Cartels? SAMCRO had never been in the drug business before, what would possess them to get involved now? "Are dead to me!" I turned to leave as some more Mayans circled me, they shouldn't let me live after what I saw in there.

"Let her go," Alvaraz ordered as the club got ready to fight for me. I nodded my head at the Mayan leader and went back towards my car.

"What the fuck was that Bowie?" Happy followed me out to my car.

"Don't you dare fucking talk to me!" I ordered him causing him to stop following. I slammed my hands against the steering wheel as I shut the car door behind me. Drugs, they were in the drug business; my brothers, my family, the man I was unfortunately hopelessly in love with.

I noticed I had a message on my phone half way back to the city and I sighed figuring it was one of the guys but my chest cracked all over again as I read it.

 **Did you find Ope? I'm headed to the club house now!**

The roar of two bikes came up behind me at a stop sign, Tig and Bobby as another text went off this time from Gemma.

 **Dawn is here...**

I wished I could blame this whole day on Dawn, no matter where she went she brought trouble with her maybe it was just facts, a storm she had brought down on our small family.

I pulled into TM only to see Vic charge into the club house with Gemma and Tara at her heels and I slammed on the brakes right in front of Bobby and Tig before I took off running;I needed to be there, she would need me.

"What is going on?" Tig yelled following me. "Hey!" he yelled at the sight in the club house we walked into, Vic was watching Ima as she held a gun out towards all three of them. "Put it down now!" Tig ordered the skank.

"Get the hell out of here!" I tightened and loosened my hands in fists trying to stop myself from attacking her. "NOW!" I yelled when she didn't move and she jumped shoving the gun in her purse and leaving out the door.

"Darling," Piney tried to speak to Vic, he was sitting on a stool holding Thomas and Violet but she only shook her head and took off down the hall. I gave her a few moments alone before climbing up the ladder after her, she always ran to the roof when she was upset, even when we were kids! It was the best part of the club house you could see everything going on from up there, even some things you shouldn't see and if you were a kid like Vic you thrived on secrets.

"Victoria," she wasn't crying like I expected her to be, she was just staring out over the lot.

"I knew it was coming, I knew it before we got married," I sat down beside her on the AC unit. "He can only ever love Donna,"

"Vic he.."

"I thought my love would be enough for the both of us," she signed, "Now look at me crying in the club house over some fucking guy like all the other woman have, I stopped crying over guys when I turned 18 and started fucking them instead,"

"Vic, he's loves you!"

"I'm pregnant," she finally looked at me with her deep brown eyes. "I have a 5 month old and I'm pregnant again, I've finally become Gemma Teller,"

"Shit Vic," I didn't know what else to say. "Maybe you were right the other day,"

"About what?" she rested her head on my shoulder I could tell by her breathing she was trying to hold in tears.

"Maybe we don't know what love is," Bikes were heard in the distance and soon we could both see Jax and Opie pull in.

"I love you though," she signed knowing her problems were about to be staring her in the face.

"I love you too," I agreed.

"I thought I loved him too; Jesus maybe we should run away together and eat pussy like Ima,"

"Lets not go that far," and neither of us could help but giggle until down below Opie met the ground as Piney flattened him out with his fist.

* * *

"You okay?" Jax asked when I came down the ladder leaving Opie and Vic behind on the roof.

"I will be, I'm not sure about Vic though" I shrugged she was his sister too, how could we have allowed this to happen? "What are you guys doing?"

"Not here," Jax looked over his shoulder at Tara, "Later,"

"Jax, are we destined to be like our fathers?" It was too deep of a question for the morning we were having but I needed to say anything to keep from asking about the drugs at the warehouse, "Run in the same circles as them until we are taken out by a bullet or a semi," I didn't add the part about Clay directing both of those things.

"We are going to change that pattern," he kissed my forehead before whispering, "Or get out of here before it catches up to us," he followed Tara out the club house door.

"Bowie," a voice I hadn't heard in years met my ears, I had completely forgotten she was here.

"Dawn," I greeted her as I came up to the table she was sitting at with Tig.

"It's actually Margo now...with an X,"

"That don't even make sense," I gave her a confused look causing Bobby to laugh at the bar behind me. Either way Dawn stood up and we hugged. I had always gotten along with Fawn and Dawn, they were just a part of the small group of kids we had grown up with, we had hard lessons to learn and we were all in it together. I mean I knew she was bat shit crazy but growing up around here you were bound to end up with something wrong with you.

"Dawnie," I ignored the information about her new name as I held her out at arms length, "They don't have a hair brush where you are living now?" I questioned, her hair was wild and knotted like her fathers was, "Where is Fawn?"

"That's why I'm here," she put on a puppy dog face before she started telling Tig some sob story about Fawn and an eating disorder. I knew Fawn, I had watched her eat through a pie competition at the city fair and then stand in line for a cheese burger when we were kids, this shit was completely a ploy but I was already emotionally exhausted from the day and it wasn't already noon yet.

"You got Colleen's number?" Bobby muttered from beside me and I gave him my phone so he could find it.

"Well I'm heading to work since nothing else could go wrong," I informed the room as I got my phone back from Bobby after he copied down the number.

"I'll come see yah," Dawn assured me before I left.

"Great," I hissed after the door shut behind me.

* * *

AN: Okay, so there was a lot of crying in this one, but I thought I would be important to show the bond between Vic and Bowie. Let me know what you think! What should happen next?

\- Bailey


	29. Chapter 29

"Bowie! You need to get up now!" I knew that accent anywhere, Chibs was banging at the door and I just about fell off the couch. Happy hadn't come home last night and it had only caused more anger and of course the addition of Dawn showing up with liquor and a party for two was on. Through the banging I just kept on staring at the ceiling, finding a water stain I had never noticed before. "BOWIE!" finally the front door flew open and I moved off the couch.

"What?" I questioned putting my feet on the floor knocking over an empty bottle.

"Get dressed!" He ordered as Juice limped behind him into the living room and quickly gave me a once over, I was in my jean shorts from the day before and a lacy black bra. "Come on!" Chibs said again as he began checking the living room and kitchen.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," I tried to joke with the Scot but he didn't have a laugh for me this morning. That gave me a little bit of a motivation to get going, Chibs was always up for a good laugh. I made my way down the hall and threw on the first shirt I found, slipping on my converses and grabbing my purse I went back out into the living room to meet with the boys.

"Lets go," Juice went out the front door looking both ways before he got onto the porch.

"What is going on?" I questioned Chibs as he grabbed the back of my arm and lead me towards his bike, "What the hell happened?" I screeched as we passed my car and the windshield and all of the windows were punched out, "Did Dawn do that to my car?" I once again didn't receive an answer. Dawn had left either late at night or early in the morning, claiming she had to get back to Fawn but I couldn't help but to notice that a guy on a bike had picked her up. She was probably jumping to a new country with whatever boyfriend she had caught in her net.

Chibs drove well over the speed limit and Juice was riding closely behind; extra bikes were at TM when we pulled up, everyone except for Jax. "Where is he?" I didn't wait for Chibs to cut the engine to ask; it wasn't normal for one of them to be out there by themselves.

"He's okay," Chibs assured me as I followed him into club house, Happy was standing by the bar waiting on us.

"Well?" He asked charging us looking me over from head to toe, I was sure I looked every bit of the hangover I was and I was in one of his shirts that was probably dirty.

"Broken windows, no note," Juice informed Hap as his dark eyes narrowed in at the words.

"Note?" I questioned, taking my eyes off Happy and towards everyone else.

"Tara had a note in her car," Chibs finally answered.

"Where is she?" panic took over Tara wasn't the type to handle this kind of thing appropriately.

"Chapel, patching up Alvarez," Clay's voice boomed another problem that had been brewing in my brain that was now staring me in the face. I pushed past the large president as my hands ached to wrap around his throat until the life drained out of him.

"Bowie," Tara's panicked voice met my ears as I left the guys near the bar behind, Alvarez was laying across the large redwood table and a few Mayans were watching every move the Dr made.

"You okay?" I asked already knowing the answer, the needle and thread that she was holding was shaking so fast you could barely see it.

"Can you help me?" She asked trying to hold the gauze over his shoulder and stitch at the same time.

"I don't know what I'm doing?" I shrugged my shoulder but made my way over anyways. "Just what you've always wanted Alvarez, me patching you up," I smirked at the man on the table as the rest of the club filtered in along with Gemma. "Christ," I muttered because of course the first thing I did when I was told to hold the gauze is pick it up and look at the wound.

"What happened to you two? They were nervous," Marcus asked trying to talk about anything but the bullet in his chest and probably the pain that was aching through it.

"Ask them," Tara almost lost control of her emotions and left the room as I was left holding the bloody gauze feeling like an idiot.

"Found a note in her car, a death threat," Clay informed the president.

"And you?" he questioned looking up at me, I only shrugged my shoulders, a habit I was getting way to good at, my Dad had always told me when I was younger that I couldn't shrug my problems away but now it seemed that was all I could seem to do about all the problems.

"All the windows in her car shattered," Clay finished.

"Shit like that, drug cartels target families," Juice's mouth was faster than his reaction time as every eye moved to meet him, including Tara who just came back in; Alvarez hissed as I put a little bit too much pressure on his wound.

Eventually Tara got to a point where I could move and I headed for the sink in the hall bathroom.

"Hey," Hap's deep voice followed me down the hall opening the door for me so I didn't get blood on it. "You okay?"

"Where were you last night?" I asked.

"Some shit went down at the warehouse last night," he looked at me in the mirror, "Spent the night there,"

"What a surprise," I rolled my eyes and instantly regretted it as Happy moved in closer behind me pushing me into the sink and wrapping his hands tightly on each hips.

"This is the life you choose," his hot breath was on the back of my neck, "Remember?" he ground his hips into my ass.

"Not the drugs I didn't," I turned around he was so close that when I crossed my arms over my chest they rested against his as well.

"The terms weren't specified," he bucked up against me again a small smirk raising the corner of his mouth.

"Don't do that," I uncrossed my arms, resting one hand against his chest. "Where were you last night?" I didn't blink as I looked into my eyes.

"Helping the prospects bury Miles," he answered honestly grabbing my wrist pulling my hand off him, no pain was in his eyes as he said the words, whatever had caused Miles death he was at peace with it.

"You?"

"No," trying to back me up into the sink further but I couldn't go.

"HAP!" Tig yelled down the hall and I wrapped my arms around him pulling him close.

"I'm going to go see Katie today," I informed him after pressing my lips to his a few times.

"No, I want you staying here," he grabbed both sides of my face, "Just to be on the safe side,"

"It'll be okay," I tried to assure him.

"Please," Tig yelled his name down the hall again, this time he was closer.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes and he let his smirk completely take over this time kissing me again.

"Be careful," he nodded before leaving me alone in the small bathroom.

* * *

"Drugs? Seriously?" Vic asked coming into Jax's room at the club house, "Cartel Drugs!" she added. V-Lin had just dragged her in along with Violet, the rest of the kids were are Mary's.

"Did you have a note?" Tara asked her quickly ignoring her questions.

"Nothing," she informed both of us putting Violet's car seat down on the floor. "But I stayed at Don's last night,"

"Why me?" Tara huffed before stomping out of the room.

"That's new,"

"Feeling bad for herself?" Vic snorted, "She always has! Remember when we were kids she always said we picked on her for no reason! Heard about your windshield,"

"You'd think if they were going to do something it would be a little more threatening than a printed letter and a few broken windows,"

"At least it wouldn't be times in Times New Roman, maybe some kind of creepy text,"

"Who would do it then?"

"The guys seem to think this Cartel threat is real, Alvarez said he heard some shit," I informed her of the Mayan President and his little surgery this morning.

"I'm going to stay with him," she sounded like she was trying to convince herself, she blurted out the information even though I hadn't asked. "I love him! I'm going to have two babies by him," I sighed sad for her as she spit out the words sitting beside me on the bed.

"Don't let him get away with this,"

"He will pay," she added, "But if I forgive him you have to too okay? I know you went to beat the shit out of him, thank you," I could tell she was forcing herself to smile.

"I'm disappointed in him, he was raised better than that," I crossed my arms over my chest thinking about my sweet beanied brother.

"He wasn't, look at Piney and Mary," she was right, Piney had always been cheating on Mary, hell last I knew they weren't even divorced. "Tig, Chibs, Bobby, hell JT! They were all married,"

"Don't make excuses for him,"

"I slept with him when he was married to Donna..." she admitted, I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth! I knew she was never a Donna fan but I didn't think she'd do that to her. "She found out, maybe this is my payback," I really didn't know what to say to that. "I was an Ima to Donna,"

"And she never said anything?"

"Nothing, I think all he thinks of when he sees me is the look on her face when she walked in on us,"

"That is no excuse to cheat on you too, you shouldn't have to feel this way,"

"Enough about me," she tried to joke but neither of us laughed. "Lets go help Tara feel bad for herself,"

* * *

"Hey," Anger coursed through my veins as Opie sat down beside me while I was waiting around for Hap, it was almost midnight. I crossed my arms and didn't reply back to him as I looked out over the bar. "I know you don't want to talk to me, but it has only been one day and I already feel like I'm drowning under your silence," I began tapping my foot. "I know I fucked up,"

"You way more than fucked up!" I spat at him, "She's my best friend Ope, and you're my brother! Treat her the way you'd want a guy to treat me! Or Ellie or Violet, be the guy they can look up to when they start dating! Not some douche bag club member that fucked their mother over their whole life."

"You're right, I'm sorry,"

"Don't be sorry to me Ope, I love you with all I have, but when you or Jax fuck up I will always get more upset then everyone else because I know what good men you two are! But you're letting the ideals of this life and this club blind the way you two treat women, you always have!"

"I love you!" he reached out wrapping his arm around mine and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too,"

"Now lets stop with this mushy shit and get a drink!" he stood up bringing me with him.

My pillow was a hard body when I opened my eyes the next morning, the wooden panel of Hap's club house room met my eyes, last night he hadn't got home until the early morning and we had decided to stay the night. Happy's tan skin was warm against my exposed skin and at the moment none of the shit going on around us and the club mattered, in that room it wasn't happening. The tattoos that covered his body could keep me entertained for hours even though I had been staring at them for years, it was like there was always a detail I had missed, or something I hadn't seen correctly; the only thing that was new was the number of smiley faces on his torso and the tattoo on his leg that was hanging out from under the sheet; a Mockingbird for Harper.

"Mhmm," Happy muttered from beside me as he opened one eye to look at me, it had felt like I was only staring at him for five minutes but by the clock on the wall I knew it had almost been an hour.

"You've got church this morning," I reminded him, it was some big vote they had been talking about before we had gone to bed last night, most of them discussed it when they had noticed Clay was no where in sight.

"Fuck," he muttered rubbing his hands over his bald head.

"More Cartel shit?" I wiggled further into his warm body.

"No, new leader shit," the venom in his voice brought goosebumps over my body. 'Bobby challenged Clay,"

"Seriously? Vote that fucker out," I muttered not being able to help the happiness running through my veins.

"What?" Happy sat up a little bring me with him, "He's like your Dad?"

"No," I got up off the bed, "Troy is my Dad,"

"Listen I don't know what the fuck has been going on with your ass lately but I know you, I noticed the slight little things you do, you're sneaking around, icing out Gemma, avoiding Clay."

"It's nothing, just starting to realize who is family and who isn't," I knew Happy couldn't know about the letters, not until we were ready to show Jax. "Clay and Gemma, they aren't it,"

"And when did this all come about?" he stood up too.

"Alot of shit went down while you were inside Happy, a year happened here too! Time doesn't stand still while you're in there!"

"It is the first time we've been together while I've done time,"

"We weren't together!"

"You can't bring this shit up every time you get mad!" You could hear down the hall that other members of the club were arriving. "I've got to go," he threw on his shirt and cut and left without another word.

"Fuck," I sat down on the edge of the bed wishing I could go back to ten minutes ago when I was just watching him sleep.

I had just gotten out of the shower when the echo of bullets surrounded me, panic took over every limb of my body and I couldn't help but scream as a few came through the wall in the inner room. It felt like the noise went on forever as I dropped down in my towel behind the bed hoping it would be enough to block me. Soon the bullets stopped and you could hear the guys yelling and heading towards the front door, all but one.

"Bowie?!" I was frozen, not sure if I should even stand up. "BOWIE MARIE MCKENNEY!" Happy's gruff voice rang out again, but there was something different in it this time, panic. Panic I had only heard once before as we were driving to the hospital all those years ago as I bled all over the front seat of my car.

"HAPPY?" I yelled back finally getting off the ground and wrapping the towel around me tighter.

"Jesus!" he ran up to me pulling me into him as fast as he could. "Jesus that scared me," Happy Lowman was scared of something?

"Me too," I admitted into his neck holding him tighter. "What the hell happened?" He suddenly came to life letting go of me and running out of the room to the guys. Without thinking I followed him out into the driveway where a man I had never seen before was on the ground and Hap grabbed him out of Opie's grasp and held his gun to his head confirming he was a member of Lobo.

"Clay!" Chuckie yelled from the beside Gemma's car holding a duffle bag in his hand, "This isn't good," I beat them over there and felt vomit rise in my mouth as I looked down at what Chuckie saw, 3 severed heads were in a bag, one I recognized but had aged since I had seen him last. The club moved as a slick machine after that, like they had been trained in what to do in these situations their whole life while I just stood there in my towel like a fool as I could hear the sirens in the distance getting closer.

"Stay with Phil today," Happy didn't give me the opportunity to argue with him about a babysitter before he turned away.

"I want to go with you," I caught up to him grabbing the back of his cut. Chibs and Juice were putting the lobo in the back of the van along with the bag of heads.

"You can't princess," he rested a hand on my cheek for a moment before the van door slammed and he kissed one of my temples, "Be smart," with that he climbed into the drivers seat and pulled off.

* * *

"And then then Margaret kicked me out of the hospital! Says I was a threat!" Tara was bitching about her morning sitting out at the picnic table at later that afternoon. The whole sheriffs department seemed to be in the lot that we were staring out at.

"Well I've had the perfect morning!" I glared at her, "First I picked some flowers after breakfast in bed," I pointed out at the bullet riddled club house.

"This shit is so fucked up," she muttered, clearly she didn't get my sarcasm. "Jax says this is going to get better, but I can't see it,"

"It has never been this bad before," I informed Tara, she may of always been around but she had always been on the outside of the club. A few crow eaters got out of the car with Gemma, apparently they were helping her with something for the benefit tonight.

"God I hate them," she hissed watching the girls, I wasn't sure of their name but I know they had been around for a few years, I sort of kept to myself when it came to hanging around with the dick suckers, but they were a necessary evil in this life; someone had to do it. "Do you have one?"

"One what?" I questioned turning my attention away from them.

"A Crow tattoo?" I grinned at her.

"No," I had always fought against that mark, I knew most of the old ladies had them as well as the long time crow eaters but it never felt right for me to get one, even when Vic had gotten hers on her shoulder blade. I also knew that Tara had gotten a tramp stamp with a large crow in the middle when Jax and her first started together, there was always some member or hang around with a tattoo gun that didn't care what age a girl was when she asked for a large piece above her ass crack. I had quite a few tattoos but nothing like that had never crossed my mind.

"I thought you would have one, for Happy," she looked down at her hands on the table like she was ashamed to be asking.

"Nah, I don't think we are at that point," I wasn't sure we'd ever be at that point.

"I thought you had work," Gemma asked as she came up to the table we were at, after a short discussion they headed into the kitchen to check on the chili for tonight and I was left alone, not knowing what else to do I pulled my cell out of my pocket and sent Happy's burner a quick text checking up, but of course I received no response.

"Hop one, hop two! Got to bring the chili to Billy Clappy Happy," Chuckie came out the door holding a large pot of what I assumed to be chili with a white apron on and a pot holders on both of his artificial hands, even though I was sure they wouldn't burn.

"I'll go with you," I didn't wait for a response from Chuckie as I followed him towards one of the Tow trucks, the large vat of chili on the floor beside us.

"Glad you could ride in the towie with me Bowie," Chuckie smiled at me as we pulled onto the street toward the warehouse.

"Stop rhyming Chuckie," I shook my head at him, he really could have a whole series of horror shows about him. "Why are you bring this to Hap?" I questioned looking out the window.

"Umm, it's spicy," he spit out quickly before turning the music up, not saying anything else the entire ride.

"Chuckie," Chibs came out to the truck as we pulled up beside the warehouse and I jumped out having enough of being confined in a small space with him. Chuckie whispered something to Chibs before he nodded his head and both of them grabbed a hold of the pot and I followed them into the warehouse.

"What are you doing here?" Happy jumped me coming up behind me, he was sweaty and covered in blood, but I couldn't see any wounds on him, it was not his blood; but there also was no bleeding person around, clearly they had been busy all morning, not even a head was in sight.

"What the fuck," I snapped ignoring Happy as chili splashed down on the ground beside us, and something else! Something that clearly was not a chili ingredient rolled past both us us, a severed head that matched the ones from the bag this morning, only this time it was covered in red sauce.

"Missed one," Chuckie smiled like a dog that brought a dead animal to your porch for a reward. I quickly looked at Hap again giving him a confused look, I wasn't sure if Chuckie or the head was more disturbing.

"You fed that to someone!" I scrunched my nose up at him remembering the deputies that had been eating a bowl at the club house.

"That's just wrong," Tig mirrored my face, if it was too much for Tig it definitely was wrong. A sweaty hand wrapped around mine before Chuckie could answer for himself and Hap lead me out of the humid warehouse.

"I told you to stay put," he sat down on a wooden pallet, angrily he ground his teeth at me; a trait that was getting a little annoying!

"I don't know how you have any back teeth," I sighed sitting down beside him, "That shit this morning scared me, Jesus Hap someone left heads in the driveway!"

"I know," he scoffed as I sat down beside him.

"Whose blood?" he was literally covered in it.

"That Lobo," I had completely forgotten about the man that had been shot down in the lot this morning.

"And?"

"And he's gone," he confirmed, "I told you to stay with Phil," he was back on the subject of his roaming horse again.

"I was with Chuckie,"

"I wouldn't trust him to keep a flea safe," he looked at me like I had just said the dumbest thing in the world, thinking about it, I had. "I don't tell you to stay with someone for my health,"

"Then stop, because you know I don't listen!" I argued back, "I'm going to that fundraiser tonight, Don is going to have a booth," I winced waiting for the argument but I was shocked not to receive any.

"Good I trust Don," I didn't know Happy trusted anyone outside of the club. "It's going to be a late one," he kept looking at the warehouse as members moved in and out of the building but I kept watching the side of his face. Everything from the tattooed shaved head to the gray stubble on his chin was beautiful in my eyes, not a word many people would use to describe Happy Lowman but I always would.

"It has never been this bad before Hap, you've been in business with the Cartel for like 3 days,"

"We fell in the middle of some fucking war," he shrugged off the bloody tank top he was wearing before throwing it in a burn barrel and I laid my head against his shoulder.

"But what are you guys really fighting for?" I received no answer as Chuckie came out of the warehouse and waved an arm at me, I could see his mouth running but I wasn't exactly sure what he was saying but I figured it was some kind of half assed rhyme. "Be safe, and come home," I stood up along with him wrapping my arms around him. "Please,"

"I promise," our lips met before I headed to the tow truck

* * *

"That's some shit," Vic was standing behind the buffet table with me at the fundraiser to save some trees or something later that night. I was telling her the details of the day in a hushed voice watching Clay and Gemma across the park. "Armando? I slept with him once, nothing to write home about," neither of us could help but to snicker at that.

"I was wondering why I never got a letter about it," a family came up to the table and we began filling their plates.

"I feel like a teenager again, working for my Dad for shit pay," she gruffed sitting down on a crate opening a bottle of water.

"You're getting paid?" Don hadn't mentioned anything about money to me.

"He probably wants to make sure I have money to get off his couch, he hasn't been laid in days," she nodded her head over at Don who was in his chef jacket like he owned a french cafe not a diner; his arms were wrapped around a big boobed blond I was sure we went to school with and his mouth was close to her ear either in a whisper or he was licking it.

"Still over there?" I took the bottle from her hands taking a few sips before handing it back.

"Yeah, we haven't quite worked out the details of this shit yet," she put the cap back on, "He told me you accepted his apology, thank you,"

"I still want to kick in his balls until they bleed,"

"Please do," she laughed, "I can't seem to stop getting pregnant,"

"Have you told him yet?" I questioned watching as Clay headed towards the front podium.

"Nah, didn't seem like the right time," both of us quieted down as Clay began speaking.

"What a crock of shit," we both rolled our eyes as he finished.

"Well hopefully it will bring people back in our shop," Vic suggested, business had literally came to a stand still.

"You still open?" A man I had never seen before was standing in front of our table holding an empty paper plate.

"Yeah sorry," Vic gave him her best smile and his cheeks grew red at the small bit of attention, "You're new here," she added.

"Just visiting," he informed her, "Lincoln Potter," he held his hand out to her.

"Vic, this is Bowie," she nodded her head at me as she shook his hand.

"Pleasure," another blush met his cheek, this dude was a strange one, that was for sure. Vic began fixing his plate making small conversation with him. "You ride?" she asked looking down at the worn leather jacket he was wearing.

"A little," he admitted, Vic would literally flirt with anyone. Eventually he left our table and she gave him a small wave as he walked away.

"Okay, what was that?"

"I saw him creeping around at the Sheriff's station while I was on my lunch break the other day," she shrugged her shoulders, "Wondering if he was dumb enough to tell us he was sort of investigator,"

"Him? The only thing I think he is investigating is who stole his bike from his play house,"

"He was a little PEEWEE-y wasn't he?" but I couldn't help but notice that Lincoln Potter did go sit at Roosevelt's table.

"Come on hurry up!" I yelled into the single bathroom stalls a few hours later, I had been helping clean up the food and I was just about ready to head home, "I've got to pee!" I tapped the door with my hand, whoever had been in there had been in there way too long.

"No patients?" A Mexican man with a long ponytail was standing behind me in the line laughing at me yelling at whoever was in the stall for a while now.

"No," I informed him and finally the door in front of me unlocked.

"That is very unfortunate Bowie," the man said and panic took over for the second time that day as the door in front of me opened and another tan man came out.

"Shit!" I started to yell but a hand went over my mouth and the man coming out of the stall shoved a needle into my shoulder. The last thought I had before I was dragged into the darkness of the park was _'Why the hell do I keep getting kidnapped?'_

* * *

AN: Okay this was kind of a longer chapter, next chapter should have Hap's POV!

What do you think about this chapter? What should happen next? Let me know!

Thank you for all the reviews!

-Bailey


	30. Chapter 30

Before I had the will to open my eyes I could hear voices all around me, none of it made sense and I wasn't sure if it was whatever they had given me in the needle or not, I knew I had been here for a while, when I had woken up earlier a fist had meet me straight in the face knocking me right back out.

"Bowie, we know you are awake," A deep accented voice surprised me, mostly that it was in english, but I still didn't open my eyes. "My name is Romeo Parada," I popped one eye open to look at the man, I was sure I had heard that name before in mumbling at the club house, the long haired man from the park was standing in front of me. "Sorry about the way it had to happen, but you were being tracked," that caused me to open my eyes and unfortunately my mouth.

"I was being tracked so you kidnaped me?" my hands were tied behind my back but whoever had done it had no pride in the quality of his work, they were barely even knotted.

"Lobo was watching you,"

"So the other Cartel decided to take me?"

"Yes, that among many other things," he pulled out a badge, after reading the words I couldn't seem to find the words I needed, we all were fucked. "I need this to work with the Sons, and if they are avenging your death it wouldn't be business as usual,"

"They would set this country on fire to find you," the other man from the park came up in front of us, holding out his badge as well, this time I had never heard the name Luis at the club house.

"I need you to make sure this thing with the club works,"

"You've got the wrong person," I scoffed at both men, wiggling my wrists seeing how easily I could break out. "I'm not a member, no girls allowed," Even though I would never join up if they were.

"That doesn't matter, Jax, Opie, Happy," he raised an eyebrow at that word and I began wondering how long I had really been gone, they were right about one thing, he would set the world on fire to find me, at least I would like to think he would. "You mean the most to them,"

"You took the wrong one, should of gotten Tara or Gemma,"

"Jackson Teller would feel that pain of loosing them, avenged them! But he would never go through the measures he would to get you back." Romeo reiterated, "I have a son and daughter, a year apart." a smile met his face like it did when all Dad's talked about their little girls, "I know the closeness will never compare to a Wife or a Mother; when you were born blood sister or not he looked at you and swore he would protect you no matter what, and that will always remain true."

"It's the same with Winston," Luis added, "We've been watching SAMCRO for longer than you know, in both...organizations. Trying to figure out the key player the one move they'd always make. Somehow every plan crashed; until Lobo set their eyes on you,"

"So you're Cartel and CIA?" I asked raising an eyebrow, "When shit falls apart what side do you take?" Romeo leaned in close to my ear with a smirk on his face, "Whichever one is paying more at the time,"

"I need you to know that we do regret saying this, but it is very important that you understand, if this deal with SAMCRO falls apart, we will kill them all! Either through RICO or by means of a bullet, you decide!"

"Your sisters," Romeo added, "Tara and Victoria, we will burn them with the law like witches at the stake, there is a lot you three know about that you never report, that could be seen by some jury members as accomplices."

"Their children, your nieces and nephews," This time it was Luis's turn to speak, like they had rehearsed this back and forth speech. "They will be put in foster homes with new parents who will beat them and rape them, if they're lucky it will only be one or the other,"

"And the saddest part, you will never get the opportunity to have one of your own with Happy Lowman who will receive the worst death of all" I hated to admit it but their little back and forth speech got to me, spooked me; because they weren't reaching for straws by any form of the imagination, all of these things were within grasp, they always had been; I had learned a long time ago that the scariest thing in this life was usually the truth.

"And how do I convince the club of this?"

"You don't need to convince the club that we are good, you just need to convince them to stay with us! Draw there attention towards internal beefs,"

"Keep digging that Clay Morrow hole," How had they known? Had they read the letters as well? At this point I had loosened my wrists and was completely untied.

"And if we ever find out or even suspect that you said anything to them about this little meeting, everything we threatened comes into play, we'll start with Victoria,"

"I'm sorry about what has to happen next Bowie McKenney," a large man came over from the corner popping his knuckles, his front teeth showing, he was getting joy out of this.

"We'll keep your pretty face intact," Luis assured me as Romeo turned to speak to the man.

"Make sure the club know we are the one who rescued her from Lobo, that will buy us some good will with Happy Lowman," the man nodded.

"I'll never rat on them," I wasn't sure if I could even keep my mouth about this meeting.

"We didn't ask you to; at the end of the day you'll be guilty of nothing but trying to keep your family alive," A cell phone rang out in the distance as both men backed up out of the larger mans way, he pulled out a knife he had behind his back and an even larger smile spread across his face.

"That was Clay," I heard Luis say as the man pulled the knife back putting some power behind it before it went right through my calf and a scream I didn't know was me rang out along with his words, "He wants to stop the hit on Tara,"

* * *

 **Happy's POV**

Red.

That was all I had seen in the last 48 hours! No one had any clue where Bowie was, we hadn't received a letter or a head, nothing! Not even an earring like in Ireland, she was just gone out of thin air. We had tried to put together the pieces, but there wasn't any, it was like trying to complete a puzzle with one piece. At first I thought she had just upped and left me, but everything of hers was left behind, including her piece of shit car. That night we already had problems with the Lobo and on my ride home to fuck Bowie to try to forget what was going on in the real world I had gotten a call from Jax; Bowie was missing, ever since then my world had been upside down. We had questioned everyone within ten miles of the Park that night, no one had seen her since she was working at Don's booth, and he didn't know anything! I had beat him to a pulp and it still didn't help him remember anything. Every club and group we were in contact with was watching for her, the Chinese, Italians, Nomads, Tacoma, even the Cartel.

If anyone ever had a question about her being the most important part of this club, the glue that keeps everyone together it was this, no one left any stone unturned; everyone was on high alert for Bowie McKenney; the love of my life. Vic was beside herself claiming it was her fault for leaving early that night, which I agreed and had half the mind to go inform her I agreed but I couldn't be trusted to keep my hands to myself.

For all the red I saw the more blood I wanted; I craved it like a shark in the open waters! Bowie was my last grasp to reality, to normalcy, my only chance at the life every other man hunted for; I knew I could never lay down with another bitch, no one would ever complete me the way she did, even when we were fighting. All the bad shit I had done to her over the last few years became my balance now, questioning every move I had ever made; Now all I could think of was where we could have been if I had gotten my shit together at the hospital all those years ago, if I had just turned around and gone back when I heard her start to cry louder as the door shut behind me.

"We'll find her brother," Jax clapped me on the back knocking me out of my own mind, the inner monologue that ran circles in my brain like a hamster on a wheel. I nodded my head at him letting him know I agreed with him but I couldn't find the words; who knew what condition she would be in when we did find her. I knew when I got her I should of kept her, taken her and locked her in a tower away from the world or pissed on her leg and marked her as my own so none of that other dogs in this town would get any ideas; sometime I had the urge to cut off all her skin just so no one else would look at her, think about her! I could completely 100 percent own her, love her.

That was all I could think about when 48 hours turned into 49.

Everyone had been staying at the club house since it happened sleeping in shifts in case anyone found her, but when I had gone to lay down in the bed that smelled only like her my black eyes couldn't bring themselves to shut and I was no longer tired.

"That was Romeo," Bobby shot in the room from the Chapel, holding up his cell phone above his head with his stubby arms. "They found her!" my ears began ringing, standing up so fast the bar stool underneath me fell as the rest of my brothers mimicked my movements.

"Where?" my voice was deeper than I remembered it, darker than the devil.

"Lobo had her, Galindo got her out, she's in a hospital in Lodi," alarms were going off, the cartel shit that my brothers had brought us into had almost cost me the only thing that meant anything to me.

"Alive?" Opie asked from the other side of me, I was picturing myself bathing in the blood of every one of those Lobo fuckers.

"Alive," Bobby confirmed and everyone turned towards me as I slammed off towards the bike to get what was mine. The woman I had always loved.

* * *

Bowie's POV

"You're in the hospital," bright lights blinded me as I opened my eyes, I was no longer surrounded by Cartel members watching me get my asses beat as I tried to fight back, I knew I had broke my hand in the process, but everything that had been said during our conversation was ringing in my head. "What is your name?" a woman in mint scrubs that reminded me of Tara was standing over me. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out, it felt like hot lava was running down my throat, probably all the screaming I had done as bones had broken under the hand of the large man earlier.

"You've been in an accident," I felt like screaming that she was wrong I wasn't in an accident but I knew I had no choice, "Your friends Romeo and Luis found you, they said your name is Bowie is that right?" she questioned too cheery of a smile on her face and I tried to nod at her but I wasn't sure if I was moving or not. "We've giving you something for the pain," that explained why her smile continued to stretch until it reached her ears. I felt my thumb raise in a thumbs up before shutting my eyes again.

This time when I opened them Happy was sitting beside me staring down at me with angry black eyes, even as I tried to smile at him nothing could change that look on his face, he was pissed. I reached out for him with the hand that seemed to be cooperating best and he grabbed it with his locking our fingers but he still didn't say a word; just keep watching me, I wasn't even sure if he was blinking. Even through the drugs I couldn't stop looking at him either, watching his face that looked like it was chiseled out of stone, trying to remember a softer one, one I loved to see smile, the small dimples on either side of his mouth when someone cracked a joke just right and he couldn't keep his face still. I felt him run a thumb up and down the length of mine and that was better than any drug a constant that I could focus on.

"I love you," I muttered my first words as I slipped back into dream world, but I heard the words back from him, words I hadn't heard in so long from Happy Lowman as I shut my eyes

"I love you too Bow,"

Waking up for the third time I felt myself instantly become more alert, to the pain that was all over my body; this time Happy wasn't staring down at me, it was another face I loved to see.

"Oh My God I was so scared," only this face liked to talk a lot more than Happy did. "I shouldn't of left? What the fuck happened?"

"Lobo," I grunted, upset in myself that I lied so easy, but I knew that I could never lose the girl sitting beside me waiting for me to wake up. Romeo's voice echoed in my brain, _"We'll start with Victoria,"_

"Shit Bow, I'm sorry," tears began swelling behind her eyes.

"It's not your fault," my voice was gruff, almost as bad as Happy's.

"Tara was here, she's speaking with your Dr," she looked at the door but squeezed my hand tighter, "Well actually everyone is here," that much I wasn't surprised of. "We finally convinced Happy to let someone else in here, he stayed all day and all night, the rest of us slept in the waiting room,"

"Where is he?" I knew it was just her and I in the small room.

"Opie and Jax had to drag him off to get some air,"

"How bad is it?" I knew by the pain in my body it wasn't good, my leg was killing me the most as I remembered the large man slamming down on it and the sound of the snap brought chills to my arms even thought it was a memory.

"Your leg is broken in two places, another dislocated shoulder, your right hand is broken and you had some bleeding in your brain they were worried about,"

"So not so bad," I rolled my eyes and instantly regretted it.

"Want me to go tell him you're up?" she started to stand but I squeezed her hand harder.

"No, stay," I hated to admit it but I couldn't bare the thought of being alone right now.

* * *

AN: Let me know what you think?! We are going to take a sort of AU route ( it was coming all along ANG R :) )while still being true to the story.

What should happen next? How will Happy find revenge for this? Also what do you think of some POV being Happy's? What other ones would you like?

Thank you to the Reviewers!

-Bailey


	31. Chapter 31

"How are you doing?" Tara asked coming into my hospital room in her white lab coat, they had moved me to Charming at the request of my "Friend" Margaret Murphy.

"Oh wonderful, I think I took it a little too hard on the tennis court today but other than that..."

"You should get to leave in the next few days, once the swelling goes down they can put a cast on your leg," Tara shook her head at me, even I would admit that I had been a bitch over the last few days it was like I had an exposed nerve and everyone and everything was rubbing it.

"I thought you and Jax were going on that trip a few days ago?" I hadn't seen much of the Dr since I landed in the hospital.

"We weren't going to leave with you missing," she seemed a little to upset by the words.

"Don't let what happens to me stop you," I snapped at her.

"I didn't mean it like that!" she put her hands on her hips, "You mean a lot to Jax, and to me we weren't going to go without knowing what happened to you,"

"And now?"

"We've decided to wait a while, the club is going through some shit, he doesn't want to leave them high and dry," she had no idea what kind of shit the club was really going through, that the CIA was on their tail and the only person that could tell them about it was too scared; scared of loosing every I've ever loved.

"I need you to give those letters to Piney next time you see him," I hissed at her, hearing the rumble of what could only be the club coming down the hall.

"What? Why?" she questioned hearing them as well.

"Trust me, it's time," before we could say anything else the doorway filled with one of the last people I wanted to see Clay Morrow, Luis's words rang through my head _'He wants to stop the hit on Tara'._ He had hired someone to take her out, not knowing he was informing CIA members to do it, or would that fall on the Cartel side of their business arrangement?

"We need to talk to Bowie," Clay didn't quite look Tara in the eyes as she looked at me and I nodded at her letting her know it was okay.

"I'll be in to check on you later," with that she left. Happy came up to me, his face hadn't shifted since I had woken up at the hospital, he held all the anger in the world in his muscular body. He had been staying the nights with me, and almost every night he would end up in the cramped hospital bed with me holding me until I fell asleep, neither of us knowing what to say to the other so we said nothing at all, then in the morning he would stiffly get off the bed trying to stretch every muscle out of cramps, give me a kiss and leave.

"We need to know what happened love," Chibs came over and gave me a kiss on the temple as Happy took the waiting room chair on one side of the bed and turned it around sitting in it backwards. I knew this moment was going to come, they would need to know my story.

"Yeah, do you remember anything?" Tig tapped my right leg that only had a few cuts on it, no serious damage.

"No! I woke up ,untied myself," I tried to swallow the words coming out of my mouth, hearing the echos of Romeo and Luis's threats rattle my brain, "Some guy saw me do it, I tried to fight my way out and I woke up in the hospital," so that was it, the lie I was going to tell.

"No details of the house?" Kozik asked, "How many guys were there?"

"I don't remember," I tried to make it look like I was thinking, even thought I wanted to shout that it was three, and I had basically allowed my ass to be beat to a certain point. "Nothing,"

"It's okay Doll," Jax looked down at my left hand that was in a cast, the fingers were completely black and blue and scarred, well I had fought more than the Cartel members had expected me to.

"The nurse said my friends brought me in?" I couldn't bring myself to say their name, "Who were they?"

"No one," Clay cut off Bobby who was about to open his mouth, "Nothing you need to worry about," his smile made me feel sick to my stomach. "Lets go,"

"Where are you going?" I grabbed Happy's wrist with my good hand holding on as most of the guys came up and gave me a kiss on the forehead or a one armed hug. "Are you ever going to talk to me again?" I asked him once we were alone.

"Yes," his voice was deeper than i'd ever heard it, almost to a toxic level that should of gave out a warning to back of to anyone that heard it.

"Don't do anything stupid!" I still had ahold of his wrist and I noted that his hand looked just about as black and blue and mangled as mine, he had been hitting someone or something, Hard!

"I almost lost you, and you expect me to sit around?," he ripped his hand out of mine and stood up so fast the chair went flying forward bouncing off the side of my bed.

"But you didn't," I felt my bottom lip quiver as he started pacing in anger.

"It was too close of a call!" he looked me in the eyes as the tears started rolling and his face loosened just enough for me to notice. "I'm not going to let it happen again! Do you know how fucking much you mean to me?"

"I'm a big girl Hap, you don't always have to rescue me! The only thing you've got to do is keep yourself alive for me,"

"I didn't rescue you! The Cartel did! I couldn't find you," his voice still deep but dripped with disappointment. That was their win, what they were talking about that day, Happy Lowman would be in debt to them for saving me.

"I'm right here," I sniffled trying to stop my tears.

"I've got to go!" he walked up and gave me a soft kiss that I tried to deepen but was denied, "I'll be back tonight,"

"Be careful! Call and check up please?!" I said to his retreating form, the damn back of his cut mocking me like it always had.

"My Aunt is bring Katie to see you later," he slammed to door shut behind him almost knocking it out of the frame.

* * *

 **HAPPY'S POV**

After leaving the hospital we all rode to the club house for church, but I could barely pay attention at all too many thoughts were running through my head.

"But why Bowie?" Chibs asked from his seat beside Tig, most eyes met mine whenever her name was mentioned, they always had. "What do they get out of that,"

"She matters, to everyone of us," Jax stamped out the cigarette he'd been smoking, "Think about it, she's a sister to two members, the old lady of another," More eyes , I wasn't sure if I wanted to punch them out or ignore them, "Daughter to two others," he looked between Clay and Piney's empty chair beside me.

"He's right! If we were playing Chess, Bowie would be the queen," Tig agreed.

"She's the ultimate move," not if I hid her away from everyone, locked her in a basement and kept her all to myself. "She'll always be the number one hit to hurt the most members," Juice added.

"Then why did they keep her alive? If they wanted to hurt us wouldn't they kill her, send her back to us in pieces?" Clay's words caused me to slam my fist against the hard redwood table.

"Romeo provided us with who had her," and the guys were destroyed, even if they were brought to me dead it didn't stop me from emptying a gun in each one of them. "Where do we go from here?"

"We kill them all," I meant every bit of the words that left my mouth; the had fucked with the wrong old lady. Maybe they hadn't heard of who she belonged to, who she laid her head down with at night but they would know exactly who I was at the end of this.

"Weren't you heading out brother? A trip with Tara?" Bobby asked Jax after we all agreed to what I had said about revenge.

"I'm not leaving now, not with Bow like this," I had the urge to beat my fists against my chest and remind him that Bowie was mine! Brother or not, when a girl looked like that it didn't matter much who she was. "She means everything to me," Kozik slapped his hand against my back while I visualized myself pulling ever bit of the golden hair out of Jax's skull.

"Calm down," he muttered and I realized my leg had been tapping so hard and fast the whole end of our table was shaking. We called the end of Chapel and we all had our marching orders before I heard my name called from the guy I had just killed a million different ways in my head.

"You need to chill out brotha," Jax put a hand on my shoulder after the door shut behind everyone else, "I saw you watching me, you know she is my sister! I would never think that way about her," He looked me right in the eyes and I suddenly came to my senses, these men that I surround myself with, that I took an oath to protect and be protected by, I was blaming them for what happened to Bowie, if I had been someone else's bitch I would have been singing a different tune. I had never suspected Jax of anything with Bowie before.

"You're right," I pulled him into a hug where we both beat each others back, "Shit is getting twisted up in my head,"

"I know, I think a little blood will straighten that right out," he smiled at me as we pulled ourself apart and I felt my face crack out of the frozen look of hatred it had been stuck in for days. I think blood was exactly what I needed.

* * *

 **Bowie's POV**

"Jesus girl," Katie came into my room of course without knocking and about breaking the door off the hinges like her son had done hours ago.

"Katie," I smiled genuinely happy to see her, she used her walker to get over towards the recliner that they had left for Hap in the room, which he never used; he was either in the hard wooden chair or wrapped around me in the bed.

"You about killed my boy," she tried to catch her breath plopping down in the seat, "I've never seen him like that before,"

"Yeah, it's like he turned into the tin man," I agreed with the Mother. I knew she wasn't talking about since I had been found, but I was.

"It looks like you have too," she looked me up and down, taking in every injury and squinting up her face like they hurt her too. "Atta girl, looks like you go a few good hits in,"

"Not as many as he got," I shrugged and felt the pain from where Luis had been shoving needles in my shoulder keeping me asleep. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not here to talk about me," she always spoke with so much conviction that no matter what she said you listened. "What is going on with you two girl? This should of brought you two together not pushed you apart,"

"He's your son, I don't know what he's doing!" I crossed my arm feeling like a five year old girl pouting.

"Don't give me that shit, you are his old lady.."

"I wouldn't go that far," I wasn't sure what I was, we hadn't really spoken about it both of us had been in full swing since they had gotten out of jail.

"I would, you two are in love," I scoffed and she looked just like Happy as her face tightened up like Medusa when she turned to stone, "Living together it's just like it always has been since both of you started fucking," There Katie Lowman was, always such a lady.

"You should write poetry," I smiled at the woman not being able to help myself.

"You two need to get it together before I die, that is a dying woman's wish, that her son and the woman he loves find happiness together. When I first had him and watched him grow into the man he was I always thought he'd be alone he found his tribe in the club but he never found his equal until you! The things he's done, the things he will do; you are with him unconditionally."

"Maybe he hasn't crossed the line that I can't take yet," she raised an eyebrow at me after I said that and I wasn't sure why I was trying to argue the point that I loved Happy.

"There is no line he hasn't crossed yet! There is nothing he won't do to get revenge for you,"

"There is no point for revenge, I'm not dead," but it probably was the closest I had ever been.

"He saw to close to that horizon, he saw a world without you in it, and he couldn't handle it,"

"He's lived without me before, we just got back together,"

"Yes," she pulled back the handle to the recliner putting her feet up, "But he always knew you were out there, he finally felt what we feel when he leaves on that damn motorcycle with that deadly look on his face."

I had no response to that, I knew exactly the look she was talking about, there was no other way to describe it than the Tacoma Killer that lived inside Happy, it was like a second personality and whenever you saw that in his eyes, when they were too black and his back was too straight; You knew there was a chance he wouldn't be coming back because he would die for his family, he would die for his friends, and now he was ready to die for me.

"I can't lose them," I said out loud not quite realizing I had said it, but I meant every word even if Katie had no clue what I was talking about, I would lie for my family, I would lie for my friends, I would lie for him.

"Good Morning Earth.. Wait, is that right?" I opened my eyes and Vic was standing at the end of the bed with Violet on her hip. "Anyways," she smiled when she noticed me watching her, "The Earth says hello!"

"Hey," I greeted her before I realized the twinkle in her eye, that only happened when shit went down.

"You'll never guy who was here,"

"Where?" I questioned her.

"It's much less dramatic when you ask questions," she rolled her eyes, "At the Hospital,"

"Okay, who?"

"Wendy! She cornered Tara in her office, spewing some shit about Abel needed to know that she is his real mom," I had always hated Wendy, so much that I hadn't gone to her and Jax's wedding, I stayed home drinking and feeling bad for myself that my brother was marrying such a fuck whit; but I was in attendance for the divorce party, before he fucked her again and knocked her up.

"What a whore.."

"If it quacks like a duck it probably is one," she smirked, "A horse is a horse of course of course,"

"I get it!"

"Just because it's not in the grass doesn't mean it's not a snake,"

"Vic!" she finally gave up and switched the hip Violet was on.

"Tara flipped! It was straight up a General Hospital episode," she was too happy about this.

"Never a boring day," I was feeling a little drowsy still, they had come and given me some meds right after Katie had left claiming she would be back, especially if Happy and I didn't get anything worked out.

"Your phone was ringing while you were asleep Aurora, It was Hap, he was checking in on you,"

"Was he okay?"

"I assume so, he did call," she finally took a seat in the usually occupied recliner, "That's nice that he checks in, Ope never does," and that sparkle was gone.

"I asked him to," I pulled myself up straighter and hissed in the pain that ran through my leg.

"So they don't have to do surgery?" she asked looking at my leg as well.

"They don't think it should need it, they are hoping a cast will be enough," I was thankful for that, hey maybe the Cartel did do me a favor, they could of completely shattered it.

"And your brain?" I rolled my eyes at her, she made it seem like I was going to be mentally handy capped forever.

"A little blood never hurt anyone,"

"Not the ones it doesn't kill," she slide the chair closer and sat Violet down on my lap. I had for the most part gotten over my thing with holding other people's babies after Abel in Ireland and now Violet, Vic never missed a chance to hand her over to me. I smiled down at my sweet niece who had more of her mischievous parents in her than could be good for her health, he chubby little cheeks rose as she exposed her gums to me. "Are you going to let me sign your cast?"

"Have you told him yet?" I ignored her stupid question, the last I knew she hadn't told Ope about her pregnancy.

"Not yet, shit got mixed up around here, in case you haven't noticed," she pointed around the hospital room, "I couldn't go into war without my Girl Friday,"

"It seems shit stays sideways around here,"

"Amen Sister!" she laughed putting her feet up, but instead of putting the recliner out she put her feet up on the end of my bed. "But can you imagine how boring life would be if we were in a normal family?" before I could answer Gemma came into the hospital room, covered in bruises, she looked worse then the ass beating I had gotten from the Cartel.

"I need the letters," Gemma didn't come any further into the room, "Clay needs to die,"

"Nope, I couldn't imagine it!"

* * *

AN: What do you think? Let me know what should happen next!

Thank you to all the reviewers! They mean a lot to me I love reading them!

P.S I don't own anything SOA!


	32. Chapter 32

"You ready to blow this popsicle stand?" Tara asked coming into the room the moment Happy had left she was probably waiting for him to pass the front desk.

"You have no idea!" shit was turning upside down all around me, and all I could do was lay on my back and wait to hear about it from whoever was visiting. Landmines had almost killed the guys who now believed that Lobo would no longer be a threat, Clay beat the fuck out of Gemma, and all the while I had been watching Family Guy on reruns.

"They are going to put on a cast in a while, run a few tests and then you should be discharged,"

"Run some tests on what?" I questioned pulling myself up straighter in the bed.

"We are trying to pin point what ever drug you were given...under the radar," According to my hospital file I had been in a car accident, the only people who knew I had been drugged and kidnapped were Tara and Margaret Murphy. "It's staying in your blood system,"

"Great," I said sarcastically knowing Luis it was probably some crazy flesh eating bacteria.

"Gemma looked like shit," Tara sighed, "I haven't seen Piney to give him the letters," Like me Tara had a million different thoughts running through her head, and neither of us had any idea where to move next.

"If Piney brings it to the table he's dead, unless he talks his way out of it," Clay was good at doing that.

"And if Gemma has them, Jax goes rouge and kills him," Tara had two reasons under the age of two that Jax couldn't be the killer of Clay Morrow. "Then he'd move up, become President," that upset her more than the thought of murder. "That could effect you too, he won't keep Tig as the Sargent,"

"Ope will be V.P and either Hap or Chibs will be S.A," she was right about Tig, he had always been Clay's right hand, they had made more dirty moves together than any of us was privy too, the latest being Donna's death.

"Jesus how did we get mixed up in all of this?" She leaned back in the chair like she was counting the ceiling tiles, there were 68 of them, I had counted more than once.

"Born that way," the stork had dropped me off on this messed up doorstep.

"But you could of left, you were on your way out last I heard," Tara and I hadn't really kept in touch but her Dad was always around, he had been friends with Don so it would only make sense that Tara knew the going on in Charming. "What happened?"

"He did," I couldn't help but smile at the thoughts of the beginning of Hap and I. "I was still in High School when we got together," she looked back at me, "I was 18, but hadn't graduated yet," I didn't add the part about being barely 18, hours 18. We had been fooling around for months before that but it was like that was the one rule Hap was going to stick to, the only line he wouldn't cross no matter how hard I tried.

"Sometimes I wonder what would of happened if I hadn't of come back,"

"I wonder about what would of happened if I had left," I wasn't sure it was a reality I would ever want to see.

"Neither of us would be here right now, that is for sure,"

"What are you bitches talking about?" Vic came through the door ruining our what-if conversation.

"She'd be here that is for sure," Tara laughed watching her take a seat on the end of my bed. She was right, Vic would of never left she hadn't even applied for colleges, she was happy with the Crow Eater life, that was all she aspired to be, there was even talk of her helping produce with Luann when she had started up CaraCara. "The letters," Tara informed her.

"Those fucking letters, one of us needs to go back to Belfast and beat that bitch for giving them to us,"

"Or maybe we just need to make sure they end up doing what they were intended to do," we told Vic about our options either Jax or Piney.

"That means Ope becomes V.P," I told her after we finishes explaining, no matter what happened if Jax was at the head of the table Opie would be there too.

"Maybe that would be good for him?" she didn't seem so sure of herself, "Something happened yesterday, he came home and went straight to bed, then he was gone before we got up," At the same time as she spoke my phone lit up on the small table in front of me, it was from the boy in question, stating he was going to be the one to take me home from the hospital and to let him know when I was ready.

"Maybe I can figure it out," I showed them both the text.

"I didn't think you'd ever get out of here," Opie kept to his word and showed up twenty minutes after I had text him, Vic was right, something was up with him, I didn't need to notice his behavior, his face alone showed that something wasn't right.

"Me either," It had taken hours for someone to come get me to put a cast on and then what seemed like weeks for they to actually discharge me. "I'm so glad to get out of here!" I was using crutches following Opie across the parking lot while he carried my bag.

"We are going to make a pit stop," he told me while tossing the bag into the back of his truck and opening the door for me.

"Where is Piney?" I questioned as he started the truck, "I haven't seen him since I've been in here," he didn't answer the question and my stomach dropped as we rode in silence towards the one place that would keep Piney away from me, I had been in the hospital a few times since I was a kid and Piney was always there, perched on the end of my bed keeping a watchful eye on every medication and every pin prick they had given me; now it was only striking me that he hadn't been there, at all. "No," I reached out grabbing Opie's arm, I didn't care that it just happened to be my bad hand, "Opie!" I squeezed as hard as the bandaged and bruised hand would allow me as Ope pulled into a parking lot at Skeeter's crematorium.

"Jax will be here soon," was all he said as he lead the way towards the back, and I didn't need to feel the heat to know what was happening as we came into the room and Unser was waiting on us. The fire was burning as we watched it and neither of us spoke, Opie was holding onto Piney's cut and I was sobbing watching the fire; my Brother's and I were officially orphans, John Teller, Troy McKenney, and now Piney Winston were gone. The greatest men I had ever known would no longer be on this Earth and it instantly became a darker place.

"Oh my god," the words left Jax's mouth before he knew what he was doing, he had probably came to the same conclusion I had when he pulled up.

"How?" Jax asked coming over to wrap his arms around Opie.

"Later, I just knew he would want you two here," at that moment I knew Piney Winston had just taken a part of the three of our hearts we would never get back. He had been the one we had left, all the love we had for our fathers had shifted as we lost one, when JT had gone we put all parental love to Piney and my Dad, and when he had gone Piney got it all; Clay was just an illusion, he had never been anything to us. "To say goodbye," words I would never be able to find. My vision blurred as Opie threw Piney's cut into the fire and we fell into silence again. We stayed longer than we should have, longer than we needed to; going out of the smoky room we were greeted by the night, it had been daylight when we had gone in. Opie reached out handing me a patch, one he had ripped from the denim cut.

 _'First 9'_ I grasped my hand around it harder than I needed to, it was

"How?" Jax asked again as I moved behind both men trying to keep up.

"You should know," I gasped as Opie pulled out a gun to Jax's head, "You're Clay's boy,"

"OPE!" I yelled trying to distract him.

"What are you talking about?" Jax questioned, he wasn't scared, that was a shot Opie would never take.

"Clay killed Donna and now my old man!" he directed his attention towards Unser, "Tell him,"

"Clay is off the rails," Unser started to explain but Opie cut him off.

"Did you know?" he moved the gun a little closer to Jax's skull.

"What?" he couldn't believe his own Brother was asking him this.

"Did you know?"

"Of course not Ope!" Opie took it, he knew it was the truth. Before I could figure out what was going on Opie had shot out a tire on Jax's bike and was leaving in his own truck.

"Fuck!" Jax yelled somehow in thirty seconds he was in Skeeters hearse and heading in the direction Opie had left in, towards TM.

"Come on doll," Unser yelled to me, I was still standing there watching the road even thought both of them were way out of sight.

"What do you know about my Dad's death?" I questioned Unser once we got on the road, talking was the only thing that was going to keep my mind off what was going on around me.

"Now that, I know nothing about," I moved my eyes off the road to him. "Clay said it was a Mayan ambush, had me sign off on a lie so there would be no police investigating. I know you have read the letters, I thought I was doing the right thing," Unser had always been a sort of mediator in our group; he tried his best to keep the waves from crashing over the bow of the boat that was SAMCRO.

"Clay killed him," I informed the ex-cop. "Clay killed all of our Fathers." Gemma was right at what she had said yesterday in the hospital after we came to the conclusion of what had happened, Clay Morrow would die, but it needed to be at the hand of a Son, he was a loose cannon he couldn't be trusted in jail. The moment my crutches hit the parking lot gun shots went off and my heart stopped, I knew Jax and Opie were in there, had what had started at Skeeter's accelerated? I knew them, or at least I thought I had, bullets from either gun would never hit the other. Unser was way ahead of me as I hobbled in through the club house, followed by Rat who had heard everything.

"What is going on?!" Unser just about screamed as we came into the chapel, Jax still had his gun held out at Opie and Clay was in his chair, bleeding out of his chest.

"Opie?" I ignored Clay, it wasn't about him, "What did you do?" I asked in Jax's direction as I saw that Opie was awake holding his hand, I think he had dropped more in shock that Jax had took a shot at him then pain.

"Garage, it can't happen here," Clay was still alive, thinking about more club moves while he bleed to death, "blacks," he informed Unser, telling him exactly what to say and Unser nodded his head agreeing like the good little lamb he always had been.

"Bowie, get Opie out to the truck," Jax instantly took charge of the situation as he ordered Unser and Rat to move Clay's large body. "If you ever want to patch in, you didn't see shit," he ordered Rat Boy.

"I should of killed him," I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself when he sat on the bench seat beside me in the truck, of course I was in the middle one leg on one side of the radio, my cast covered leg on the other. "He should of let me kill him,"

"He won't live through that," I tried to assure him, as he slipped his beanie back on his head, covering his eyes trying to hide his emotion, even through you could hear it in his voice. "How is your hand?," it was dripping blood but he didn't seem to pay it any mind.

"He's a cockroach Bow, he'll live through an explosion," He was right, this wouldn't take out Clay Morrow, he would live through this and swap the story to make the club even more loyal to him.

"We've got to get out of here," Jax threw himself down in the drivers seat, his white shirt was covered in Clay's blood, "I'm taking you home, and you," he looked around me towards Opie, "You need to lay low, until I get some shit figured out,"

"He did it brother, and he will die for it," Opie was firm in his words there was no convincing him otherwise.

"And what about you?" Jax drew his attention back to me.

"If it's the truth," Who else would it be, "Then he needs to go down,"

"It needs to be unanimous, and it needs to be solid proof," Which I could provide as soon as I spoke to Tara and Vic.

"He tried to point it at Lobo, Unser and Gemma helped point it that way,"

"Jesus," Jax adjusted his hat not sure what else to do. "The club should of got the call by now," Jax helped me into the house while carrying my bag. "I'll send a prospect over if Hap doesn't head this way," at the same time as he spoke his phone started blowing up. SAMCRO knew about Clay.

"Be careful," I pulled him into a tight hug.

"You too," he squeezed me back even harder rubbing his hand up and down my back, "For now we don't know anything," I nodded my head agreeing with him and watched him go back to the truck through the front window. I felt dread fill my whole body watching them leave, I was the only one who knew everything and for once it didn't feel good to be a move ahead of everyone else.

A crash woke me up in the middle of the night, I had popped some of my pain meds and passed out not long after Jax had left, I expected it to be one of the prospects as I went out in the living room but I was surprised to see Happy slamming around, there was a new hole in the wall and the pictures that had been on it were now shattered on the ground.

"Hap? What's wrong?" I reached out for him and he backed up not allowing me to touch him.

"First you," he was steaming, "Now Clay is in the hospital shit is falling apart," he hit the wall again causing another hole, "This isn't supposed to happen, people aren't supposed to get hurt on my watch," I hadn't thought about Happy when Clay had taken that bullet; he took everything like this right to the chest.

"Clay is not your responsibility," I assured him, this time when I reached out he allowed me to touch his stubbled chin.

"He's my President, we as a club are supposed to protect him, he was alone and he was attacked,"

"You said 'We' Hap, not you!" he looked me up and down, I was in my underwear and one of his t-shirts not being able to pull on any of my comfortable pants to wear over my cast.

"You were alone! Now look!" he ran his hand down my throat resting on my shoulder and I tried my best not to wince at the pain.

"It's a broken leg Hap, it isn't the end of the world,"

"It shouldn't have happened! Not to my girl," his hands were replaced by lips. "I won't be here in the morning," he didn't remove his lips as he dragged me towards the bedroom, it took extra time to get there thanks to my leg.

"Hap, why don't you sleep," I asked as he pushed me back onto the bed, pulling his shirt off. "You're exhausted babe,"

"I'm not tired," he got close and I could see the lust in his eyes, but it was the second thing that could be seen in the dark orbs, revenge was the first.

* * *

Most things had fallen into place after the night that Clay was admitted to the hospital, Jax was now the President of SAMCRO after reading some truth straight from his Father's hand, he now knew that our Father's had died by order of Clay Morrow, who for some reason was still alive. Opie sat at the right of Jax where he always was supposed to be, him and Vic were looking into getting a bigger house now that they had another kid on the way. Tara had dove into her position as the new Gemma and had turned down her offer in Oregon so Jax could do what he needed to for SAMCRO.

"Are you ready?" Tara asked sitting down beside me with a cart full of needles and tubes.

"What exactly are we looking for?" I asked her, it had been a little over three months since I had left the hospital and Clay had gone inside it, he had a few surgeries and was expected to make a full recovery but would probably always need a oxygen tank, which I believed was complete Karma for killing Piney. Jax and Opie had decided not to inform the table of Clay's actions for some reason, Tara said it was because of some deal with the Irish but she wasn't sure of the details and Opie still wasn't telling Vic anything.

"Just making sure that whatever they were giving you is out of your blood system," she informed me pulling out my arm and cleaning it with an alcohol wipe that instantly caused my stomach to roll, I hadn't been feeling 100 percent since everything had gone down and I hoped it was stress not whatever chemical Luis had been pumping into me.

"Great," I said through grit teeth fighting the urge to take a big breath to hold down the vomit that was rising.

"When you were discharged there was only a small bit left," she assured me, flicking a vein trying to get it ready for a needle. "How is the leg?" she asked looking at the cast that my nieces and nephews had drawn all over there was also two small smiley faces I had woken up with one morning when Happy had snuck out extra early, they were right above my opening for my toes smiling up at me, a matching pair to the ones on Happy's torso.

"Good, I'm ready for this fucking thing to come off," I hissed as a needle pierced my skin.

"Only a couple more weeks," she was now watching my blood run into the tube she had in her hand.

"I've just about got Hap convinced to cut it off," I couldn't take my eyes off the blood either. "It's in the way," Happy was still pissed over what went down with Clay added to the blame he had over what happened to me, and an angry Happy meant a lot of angry sex, one of the bright sides to what had been going on over the last few months. Every time Pope fucked them over it only pissed him of more and it was starting to look more like the relationship we had all those years ago before he had left. But there was something different this time, something almost stronger than had been there before I just couldn't put my finger on it, both of us didn't even acknowledge the time we had missed it was like we had just been together for years; but I couldn't force myself to forget.

"Cut that thing off and you'll be in the O.R getting plates and pins in no time," she must have been satisfied with the amount of blood as she slowly pulled out the needle and it felt like my stomach dropped with it as she pulled.

"Yeah, Yeah," I rolled my eyes as she put a cotton ball and bandage on the small spot on my arm. "I've got to get to work,"

"I'll call you later," she handed me my crutches after she pulled off her gloves throwing them in the trash. Shit with us had been strained since Jax had the letters, she had made moves without asking Vic or I, something we wouldn't do to her. Gemma had asked for the letters one last time and she just about threw them at her; instead of giving them to Jax herself, now Jax only knew the story that Gemma wanted her to know and we had no proof of anything else.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show," Vic snapped standing behind her client.

"I told you I'd be late," I snapped back, I disliked pregnant Vic this time around.

"And Lyla was late too," she informed me nodding her head over at our part time receptionist, she worked full time for CaraCara but was looking for a little bit of side work.

"She's here now, you were never the perfect employee Vic," Vic wasn't taking Opie's new position in the club as well as Tara was taking Jax's. She realized that if something happened to Opie she was a single Mom of what was going to be four kids. He had disappeared for a week after the night Jax shot him, but after some drunken nights and a few come to Jesus moments he came back into town with his tail between his legs and took his rightful spot beside Jax; but Vic hadn't forgotten that dose of reality she got being alone.

After she finished she slammed down in my office beside me, "I'm sorry,"

"Stop saying you're sorry, I'm sick of hearing it," I smiled at her, she flipped out about something new everyday.

"Violet is really liking her new day care I think,"

"You mean Crow Eater High?" I laughed, every morning she dropped Violet off at TM and the half wit crow eaters took care of her, so far nothing had been broken or damaged so I guess it was working.

"Hey they are all over 18!" she laughed as well, she knew the girls personally those were her old crownies before she had gotten a ring and became an Old Lady.

"Just barely," I looked back over our paperwork, we had been doing much better, the town had got over their SAMCRO ban and it was business as usual for us and TM.

"Did you hear about their run last night?"

"No Hap didn't come home," he had stopped on the way home last night at Katie's checking in on her, she hadn't progressed either way, she was still just hanging on at the tip of the ledge.

"It got set on fire,"

"How do you know?" I asked her, knowing Opie wouldn't admit something like that.

"A fire was reported on the news, and I saw Phil this morning, he looked like shit," I had stopped watching the news a long time ago. "Think it was that Pope guy?"

"Tig ran over his Daughter, there isn't much he wouldn't do," everyone knew that was the truth in the life we lived, murder was a very accessible move, but fucking with their shipment, their money that was what drew the real blood. "He's just playing with his food before he eats it,"

"Tig fucked up," no, we had fucked up by lying about what had happened to Clay, a truth I thought Jax would of brought to the table by now, but so far Opie and him had kept it to themselves. The bell over the door binged and we instantly heard Lyla greeting whoever it was. "She's growing on me," Vic shrugged her shoulders like she couldn't believe it.

"Not a porn whore!" I smirked remembering when the guys went into business with Luann and she just about came unglued.

"I still don't trust her though," she smirked as Lyla came into the back room.

"Gemma is here to see you two," that caused both of us to sigh. Gemma had been on a spiral lately, fucking everything that walked and drinking her days away, finally I think she was feeling the guilt of all the things she had done and covered up in her life. Guilt that I was feeling over our lie about Clay and mine about the CIA.

Maybe I was Gemma's other Monster.

* * *

"You're sure?" I sat down on my couch later that night, not quite believing the words I had just heard.

"Positive,"

"Like 100 percent?" I asked again, shock running through my body.

"Yeah," I fell silent looking out the window as Happy pulled into our drive-way. I knew he had been helping the Nomads move into Lowell's old place all day so I hadn't expected him this early, the sun was barely sitting over the mountains in the distance. "You okay?" Tara's voice knocked me out of my trance.

"Yeah," I wasn't sure what else to say. "I've got to go,"

"Okay,well let me know if you need to talk, you should get a real check up," I didn't let her finish as I hit the button ending the call.

"There is my girl," Happy smirked as he came into the front door and I tried my best to push back the conversation I had just had with Tara even if every nerve ending I had was screaming.

* * *

AN: This was kind of a filler chapter, I didn't put to much detail into what happened because I wasn't changing much!

Let me know what you think should happen next! Thank you to everyone who reviewed.

Also hope everyone has a great 4th

-Bailey


	33. Chapter 33

I was surprised when I woke up and Happy was beside me, he usually was up and out early, I think he was probably the one that woke the roosters.

"Are you lost?" I smirked at him noticing his eyes were open, wiggling further down into the heat that was Happy Lowman.

"Nope, Piney's thing is today," The club believed that Piney had gone down at the hands of the Cartel just like Clay had wanted it , and for some reason Opie and Jax weren't singing the correct tune.

"I forgot all about it," I sighed, reality hitting me in the face, everything wasn't okay outside of the small space we were laying in. Today we would bury the ashes of one of my Fathers and we were powerless to punish his murder. A lot of tension had also been happening with the power shift Hap and I were the only ones that weren't affected by the change in leadership. Chibs was given the S.A patch and I was more than ecstatic that he had been passed over; but I think a small part of it hurt him that it had so easily gone to Chibs.

"Did you get those assholes all moved in?" I questioned pulling myself up instantly regretting it as my head started twirling.

"Come on you know you love Diamonds," he sat up as well so both of us were leaning against our wooden headboard.

"That isn't the words I would use for Frankie," he was a perverted animal. "They just came flying out of the wood work to get here didn't they?" Gogo, Greg and Frankie all showed up apparently Clay had called them up saying they would need more help with whatever was going on, but Clay never did anything for a club reason, especially now that he was nothing; barely even a hang around.

"That's what SAMCRO does," he looked at me like I had two heads and I felt my face warming up, I really was turning into a bitch, it was probably the secrets inside eating their way out. "The other Charters are coming out today, I want you to stay close,"

"Nobody is going to bother me," I gave him a questioning look; I knew all of the guys.

"I'm not worried about the guys in the club," he was worried about the attention it would draw to their enemies having them all in the same place. "What did Tara say?" my heart instantly stopped the beating pattern it was in and started a whole new pace, twice as fast as normal.

"What?"

"About your leg?" he clarified himself but being Happy he realized the shift in my demeanor.

"It needs to stay in this damn cast apparently," both of us looked down at the now off white cast and I wiggled my toes, right under the smiley faces he had drawn. "Since this guy I know won't take it off,"  
"Some guy huh?" he smirked back and reached over onto the end table.

"What are you doing?" I questioned him as his smirk grew and he got out of bed giving me a shot of his naked tattooed body.

"Taking it off," he growled before grabbing my hips and turning me over so I was face first in the pillow, I giggled in anticipation of what I thought was coming but after a moment all I heard was marker on my cast.

"Hap, seriously what are you doing?" I turned my head to look at him and his face was dead serious looking down at whatever he had done. "What did you put? You better not of drawn a penis!"

"You'll have to wait to find out," his dark eyes were intensely looking into mine, "I love you,"

"I love you," I smiled at him, always happy to hear the words coming out of his mouth. "Now tell me what you put," he ignored my question and threw the black sharpie against the wall before I felt my shorts being pulled down.

"How is he?" I asked over to Vic standing at Piney's service, her eyes were dead on Opie as he watched the members roll in, all with a growl of their motorcycles.

"Numb, he's ignoring it," It had taken me 20 seconds to tell Vic what had really happened to Piney, she had the right to know, Piney meant just as much to her as the rest of us. "And I can't really ask about it, I'm not supposed to know," Don was standing on the other side of her holding Violet; the rest of the kids were standing by Mary, watching what was left of their grandfather be buried. I could see Jax from where I was standing and it felt like he and I were the only ones not watching the hole in the ground, I was watching him and he was watching Clay, who had the balls to actually show up. Anger was beaming off both of us and Clay knew it too, there was a good breeze but he was sweating bullets. Anger should not be the number one emotion at a funeral for a man that you had known for your whole life; we should have been bawling holding onto each other as we watched the service, but three months of anger changed you, especially in this family. We had already said goodbye to Piney in our own way and sworn vengeance for him.

"He's staring at you, are you two fighting?" Vic nodded her head at Happy.

"No," We were fine this morning when he had left, leaving me naked in bed telling me he'd see me later, "Hey what does it say on the back of my leg?" Vic quickly gave me a confused look as I moved so she could see it. A smiling face came back but before she could open her mouth she looked over at Happy and he kept his face stiff as he shook his head at her.

"Nothing," she quickly spit out, I would have to be sleeping with one of the only scary ones.

"Tell me," I ordered her after the funeral; we had gone to the shop even though it was closed.

"Hell no!" she was dead serious as she spoke, "Did you see his face? I'm not pissing off the Tacoma Killer,"

"He doesn't even live in Tacoma anymore!" I tried to argue standing in the full length mirror trying to see the back of my leg, which of course I couldn't.

"Tell me what my leg says!" I ordered the moment Tara came through the front door, I turned around so she could see the back of the cast.

"Don't, Happy will kill us," Tara face fell from the smile it was in.

"Are you two really that scared of him?" I questioned both women.

"Yes," they jinxed each other like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"How did he react when you told him?" Tara sat down in Lyla's usual chair, both Vic and I were behind my desk, she had no idea what personal space was.

"Told him what?" she asked; now she was interested.

"Nothing," I quickly cut her off giving Tara a deadly look, if she thought Happy's looks were something to fear she had never seen some of my best ones.

"No, cut this shit! No secrets remember," she narrowed her eyes at me before looking over at Tara, clearly neither of us had forgotten what Tara had done with the letters.

"Tara here," I nodded my head at her, "Seems to think I'm pregnant,"

"WHAT?!" Vic yelled standing up, clapping her hands together, "We'll be pregnant together!" I didn't share the same enthusiasm she did about the situation, the last time this had happened it didn't end well, it had caused Happy and I to basically give up on each other.

"The blood says you are, not me," Tara defended herself.

"Yeah," I sighed looking down at the paperwork in front of me.

"No, don't blow this off," Vic snatched the paper out from under my pen, "And you haven't told him?"

"I found out last night," I threw my hands up, not sure if I was going to slap the smile off her face or rip my hair out, I settled on redoing the bun on top of my head, "When was I going to tell him? In the middle of Piney's funeral! I had enough word vomit to hold in!"

"How do you feel about it, you know with Harper and all," Tara spewed the exact name that had been running through my head since she had called me last night.

"I don't think I want another one, she was it for me," I told both women the truth, "I love Happy but I don't know if we have the mental capacity to do this again,"

"Do you really think that is how he would feel?" Vic questioned reaching out and wrapping an arm around me.

"I don't know," I bit my lip resting my head on her shoulder, "I just know it doesn't feel like it did the first time, it doesn't feel like some strange journey, it feels like I'm staring at a fork in the road and no matter which path I choose I'm fucked."

"Well do you think you'd.." Tara began before I could cut her off.

"No," I assured both of them, "I just need to convince myself this is okay before I can convince him,"

"He loves you Bow, no matter what you want he's down," Vic had said the same words to me all those years ago, when I had first found out about Harper and was freaking out about telling Hap. Back then it was different, we didn't have a house together and we hadn't been to hell and back, we were completely different people, almost shadows of who we are now. He hadn't spoken to me for two days when I told him, he took some run down south with some of the other guys and hadn't even sent me a text to say goodbye. I figured that was it, I was going to be a single Mother but by the time he came back into town he was singing a different tune. We had bought the house we were living in shortly after that, getting away from all the drama we were surrounded by constantly in the three places we floated between and that was that, Happy Lowman was up for his impending fatherhood, something that he had never gotten.

Now it wasn't about telling him, it was about convincing me that it would be okay, now Motherhood was staring me in the face and she was a bitch.

* * *

"Are you guys aware of the violence that is happening in charming? Two home invasions in less than a week." Roosevelt asked as all of us sat around waiting on Jax to get back, with Bobby. Shit had been going on around Charming but it for once wasn't one of us causing it, it was happening to us.

"Contrary to popular belief, we can read." Chibs informed the cop and I snickered causing all eyes to look over at me.

"What?" I snapped at all of the guys.

"You think we had something to do with that?" Tig asked. Roosevelt began telling them about Veronica Pope, the daughter of the gangster that was after the club.

"A few people said they saw a group of One-Niners chasing down a few guys on motorcycles," After they tried to assure them they hadn't heard of any beef he caught a look at Phil, who looked like shit sitting on the other side of Hap. "Then who would attack your truck on the outside of Modesto last night?" Vic had been right.

"Angry pirates," Hap snapped at the cop earning a look he got from very few people, as Roosevelt moved closer.

"I don't give a shit if Pope blows up every goddam truck of yours," Happy stood up to meet Roosevelt right in the eye and I grabbed his hand trying to pull him back down as he bucked up to the sheriff, "But not in my quadrant," Happy kept standing tall grinding his back teeth causing that bone in his skull to move letting everyone that was smart know to back off. Time stood still as I watched them, almost like everyone was mentally counting hoping that he backed off Happy as I still held strong to his hand. "One innocent gets hurt," That drew Roosevelt's attention to me, as he stared at my cast. "And I make Pope look like an altar boy, you understand?" he really didn't know who he was fucking with.

"I see what you did there! I love Catholic jokes," Chibs tried to break up the fight that was about to break out between Happy and the Sheriff.

Jax pulled up in a tow truck and all of the guys yelled out to the new comers forgetting all about Roosevelt.

"BOBBY!" I ran as fast as I could with my cast, leaving my crutches behind, the bottom of my cast was already worn thin from me walking on it, I was ready to shove the crutches up someone's ass to get rid of them, "I missed you!" Bobby had been in jail since Clay's shooting.

"I missed you too my love," he pulled me in even closer that I thought was possible, his long hair surrounding me like a cocoon. "How has my girl been?" Bobby snickered as he looked over my shoulder and moved away from me going to greet some more people before I could answer him.

"Hey Gorgeous, come around here often?" I heard him before I saw him as a bite was placed on the back of my neck and he pinched my ass cheek. We hadn't had a chance to speak before the Sheriff came sniffing around.

"I used to, I don't plan on coming back if you don't tell me what is on the back of my leg," I hissed turning towards Happy. He had fear on his side, none of the guys would tell me what was on there if he had gotten to them first; I would have to ask a random stranger to tell me what was on the back of my leg.

"Well keep your ass at home then," he smirked replacing the pinch with a smack. "Easier for me to keep my eyes on you there,"

"That isn't going to happen," I assured him as Jax called out for Chapel, "You've got to be shitting me," I snarled as I saw who pulled up in Tara's old cutlass. Clay had been out of the hospital for two shakes of a lambs tail and he was already reeking up the place, putting dirty hands on everything good that was going on for the club.

Jax's came between my vision of Clay, "You okay?" he asked, somehow Gemma had convinced Jax that Clay had hired a hit out on me and that was why she got her ass beat, for snooping around. She had the right idea but the wrong victim, Tara had been Clay's intended hit. A part of me thought maybe he left me out of it because he already felt guilty for killing my Dad but then I remembered who we were talking about, I don't think Clay Morrow had that part of his brain.

"Fine,"

"I need to talk to you later,"

"About what?" I asked my blond brother, his hair was starting to grow out from Stockton and he looked more like himself, more like the leader that he was shaping up to be.

"Romeo," he didn't waste anytime getting away from me after saying that, following everyone else into the club house. Had Romeo told Jax that I knew about them? That they were a double agents? Panic took over and blocked out any other emotion that I had felt through out the day, just because Jax and I were close didn't mean I'd be spared by the club; pin pointed as a traitor, maybe a Mayhem vote was going on with me at the subject right now.

"Bobby is back?" Vic came up behind me as I stared at the club house and about jumped me out of my skin.

"Jesus christ!" I put my hand over my heart and looked at my pregnant best friend. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry! Damn you've been jumpy lately," she kept walking towards the club house and I had no choice but to follow her. Crow eaters were all over the bar area, along with Violet who was sitting in her pop up play pen, setting up her dolls so they were in a neat row before knocking them over and drooling all over them. "Have you told him yet?" she directed her head over at the closed Chapel door, little did she know that I might have much bigger problems then when or if I told Happy I was pregnant once again.

"And when do you suggest I should have done that?" I questioned her. The doors of the chapel flew open and I never got a reply from Vic as the guys came out of the room clearly with their marching orders. I couldn't help but notice the Nomads now had SAMCRO patches.

"Bowie!" Jax was standing in the doorway to the chapel doing the come hither fingers at me; Bobby was standing closely behind him.

"Are you okay?" Vic asked dropping the subject we were talking about, she knew nothing good came from being summoned to that room, it was almost like signing your death warrant.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I was trying to convince myself more than her. Happy didn't pay me much attention as he started over towards the bar with a few other guys, setting up a round of shots with Bobby. My heart was throbbing so bad I probably could of counted the beats; Jax shutting the door behind me only added to the rhythm running in my ears.

"Sit," he nodded his head at Chib's seat beside him and I fought the urge to drop at his order but instead I took a seat over and filled Happy's seat. "We've got a problem," was this it for me? Had I played the wrong hand all those months ago?

"Romeo talked," Bobby was sitting in Opie's seat, his arms crossed but his face didn't hold any anger like Jax's did, "We know you know,"

"I.." I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off.

"Why didn't you tell me Bowie?" Jax's face fell as he watched me, I hadn't realized that I had began twirling a piece of hair around my finger a nervous trait I had since I was a kid.

"They threatened us, all of us!" Annoyance instantly covered up my sense of fear, "What was I supposed to do?" a complete 180 in my attitude.

"Come to me, they almost killed you Bowie!" he slammed his hand against the thick redwood table, "Do you understand how close we were to losing you? What that shit would of done to us? Not on a club level on a person level,"

"They threatened Vic first, do you understand that if I told you I would lose her?"

"So you didn't tell anyone?" Bobby asked watching between us.

"No one,"

"Alright, keep it that way; not Vic, not Tara, not Happy," Jax looked me right in the eyes our blue eyes meeting in a fit of anger that we seemed to always be wearing, "No one can know," I nodded agreeing. "You can go brotha," Bobby agreed and stood up , "Shut the door behind you," Jax ordered. "Clay told the club,"

"Told them what?"

"A lie, admitted he killed Piney," Clay would never tell the truth. "Says Piney pulled a gun on him, so he had no choice but to take him out. Told them Opie was the one that shot him,"

"What about mayhem?"

"He made it self defense, didn't say anything about the letters,"

"Well he wouldn't would he? Romeo wanted me to dig in on the Clay problem,"

"Yeah, well now we can't," Jax leaned back in his chair before pushing back his hair once again.

"Why is he still alive Jax?"

"Gallen won't deal with anyone else but Clay, we need the deal with the Irish to keep the CIA happy! That keeps our ass out of the fire,"

"So Opie knows?"

"Yes, he accepts it, the day we make the deal between the Irish and the CIA is Clay's last day," he said it with so much conviction that you had to believe him. "Until then the three of us need to bite our tongue on who Clay really is,"

"There is more than just three of us, Tara and Vic have read them too,"

"I know that, I will keep Opie in line, if you keep them under control,"

"Easier said than done, have you met Victoria before?" our smile matched.

"You good?"

"I thought you were going to kill me," I admitted, "I thought maybe there was a Mayhem vote going on about me," he dropped the smile and put a hand out.

"Never, you mean more to me than this table, than this fucking gavel that has landed on my head," he squeezed my hand, "We will make it to the end of all this shit, alive,"

"And what do I tell Happy when he finds out the truth, that I've known all along, about Romeo and Clay?" A vote might not happen when he found out about that betrayal. "We aren't supposed to have secrets,"

"We'll tell him exactly the truth, you were threatened, you wanted to keep everyone safe and I told you not to talk," he shrugged his shoulders like it was as easy as that. "And we hope he doesn't kill Romeo when he finds out it was him that did that to you,"

* * *

"I've got to go," Happy and I were laying in bed with my head resting on his chest, after he got off the phone he sat up so fast I thought my back was going to break in half.

"Why? What happened?" I was up as well, pulling on a pair of shorts. Happy was pulling on his cut completely dressed before I could even find a bra on the ground.

"Warrants for the guys arrests, I need you to go to Jax's, Rat and Phil are there, stay there" he put a hand on both of my shoulders as I stood there bare chested feeling like a child as he spoke, staring me right in the eyes.

"Your arrest?" I asked while I nodded at his orders.

"No, I'll be in touch, send me a text the moment you get to her house," he started down the hall leaving me standing there.

"I love you!" I yelled behind him.

"I love you," he yelled back and I heard the front door slam. I did as I was told, the moment I finished getting dressed I threw a bag that seemed to stay packed over my shoulder and got in the car heading to Jax and Tara's house. I felt a bit of relief as I parked behind Vic's car.

"What the hell is going on?" I didn't waste any time as I came into the kitchen where both woman were sitting. "Which one of them?" I probably wasn't making since to anyone else but to these woman I was speaking perfect english.

"Jax, Tig and Chibs," Tara already had a coffee sat down in front of an empty seat at the table for me. "For that highway shooting,"

"Did they do it?" I asked dropping my bag beside my seat.

"Yes," Tara nodded, before Thomas started crying somewhere down the hall and she left the room.

"She wanted them to turn themselves in," Vic nodded down the hall in the direction Tara had gone in. "Without protection,"

"They are as good as gone if they do that," I pulled out my phone and sent Hap a text that I had gotten to Jax's.

"She didn't want her baby daddy to be a felon,"

"Too late," I pulled my hair up in a bun on the top of my head, all our baby daddies were felons, I felt my stomach drop at that thought, the thought of what was growing in my abdomen.

* * *

AN: Let me know what you think! What should happen next?

Thank you to everyone that has reviewed we are at 250 I feel like that is a milestone! I am sending everyone mental high fives!

Also I own nothing SOA

-Bailey


	34. Chapter 34

My life could have been seen as a joke when I woke up the following morning to the sound of multiple babies crying and my own stomach lurching as I rolled over on Tara's couch, I probably had slept a total of an hour last night my mind had been running a mile a minute thinking about the life of the people around me and my own shit show.

"Are you serious?" I could hear Tara and Vic hissing to each other in the kitchen and I gave up my dreams of going back to sleep as I followed their voice. Both women were sitting at the table holding their infants with a plate of food in front of them that instantly caused a bubbling in my stomach that I used to associate with too much alcohol.

"Serious about what?" I asked after I got control of my body, shaking my head like I could shake away the vomit I was sure was rising in my throat.

"Sit down," Vic kicked out an empty chair with her leg still holding Violet in her arms. "Dawn is gone, Pope burned her alive," Vic didn't have a gentile way of breaking things to people, especially in the morning, "Tig was there,"

"Where is he?" I didn't know what else to say, that gene that made death an unexpected surprise didn't run in any of our veins, the way we saw it everyone's head was on a chopping block constantly. The only thing you could do was be there for the people left behind. Dawn was many things, but she was one of us just a kid trying to find her way in the MC world, we were the first generation, the ones who had to figure out how to be the kids growing up in SAMCRO; taking the brunt of the mistakes so hopefully we didn't pass it on to the next generation. The babies that were sitting in the women's arms; that knowledge of when to run and when to lie, who would keep you safe and who not to trust we took those hard lessons and even harder consequences for them.

"They are at some whore house!" Tara had no feelings towards the death of Dawn, she had only known her as Margo with an X; the psychotic daughter of an even crazier club member. She hadn't been there to see Dawn struggle with who she was in Fawn's shadow; hadn't seen how losing the first love of her life had sent her on a spiral of drugs and random men that she was still floating on 11 years later. Would never meet Colleen's ass and known exactly why Dawn had fled out of that household at 17 leaving behind a high school education and a roof over her head.

"They are trying to find Fawn," Vic added, "Opie and Hap are with them,"

"We are going to head up there, meet up with Lowen," They would need a lot more than a lawyer to get themselves out of this one, Tara may still have faith in the law but Vic and I knew we were playing with an empty hand, they had done the crime, Pope had set up the witnesses, and their balls were in a vice. He was going to want way more revenge than Dawn, he was even but people like Pope didn't want to be even they wanted to be ahead.

"Have they got protection yet?"

"Not yet," Vic shook her head.

We rode in silence up to meet with the guys, after dropping off the kids at the club house, too many thoughts were running to be able to even make a straight sentence so the silence was a welcomed addition to the car. Once we got to the address Bobby had given Tara we pulled into the parking lot in the back and all of the guys were sitting on their bikes like they had been waiting on us. Moments after my feet hit the tar Tig was in my arms, sobbing on my shoulder as I ran my hand up and down his leather covered back hushing him. I made eye contact with Happy over my shoulder and he just nodded his head at me, as I held onto Tig tighter.

"She was saying my name," he mumbled into my neck, "she kept yelling for me," the thoughts of that happening brought back the sicking feeling I had when I had walked into the kitchen this morning.

"Fawn?" I whispered back, I didn't see her anywhere.

"Inside, safe," he trembled, as Vic came up behind him and he instantly leeched to her, telling her the same thing about Dawn, the girl we had first snuck out with, who had been there for our first beer, had been burned alive while she yelled out for her Father to save her.

"Hey Baby," Gemma came up to me but I kept moving past her till I got to the arms I had been missing since I left them. Happy gave me a soft but dominant kiss before pulling me into his arms.

"Sometimes I think she's lucky she went out when she did," I knew he wasn't talking about Dawn and my heart broke. Harper would never have to endure a life of crime and conflict, no one would ever burn her alive while her Daddy watched or shoot her in the back in a Mayan ambush. I knew exactly what he meant but the words still burned like hell and I could of sworn the bubbling in my gut from our new problem was a way of mocking the words that came out of his mouth. Instantly I dropped my arms from around him and backed up, not knowing how to reply to such an honest statement. "Bow.." he began knowing quickly that the words had done something to me. But I shook my head and followed the small group we were in into the building.

"Bowie!" I hadn't heard her voice in a long time, but I knew exactly who it was as I scanned for her. Fawn and Dawn weren't identical, Fawn had much more of Colleen in her and Dawn looked just like Tig but you would never doubt that they were related, "Did that asshole tell you?" her brown eyes were swollen and blood shot from crying and she crossed her arms when I stood in front of her and I only nodded my head in response. After a few moments she dropped her arms and wrapped them around me. "What the hell are they mixed in now?" you could tell by the waver in her voice she was trying not to cry again.

"I'm not sure," It wasn't my place to tell her.

"It is his fault," she looked over at where Tig was crying on Gemma's shoulder.

"Are you staying for a while?" I questioned her, truth be told it was our fault, for lying about what had happened to Clay causing Tig to seek revenge.

"Yeah, Gemma said I could crash with her," she informed me before Vic made her way over to Fawn throwing her arms around her and I felt myself pulled into strong arms.

"She okay?" Jax asked after we pulled apart.

"Her twin just died Jax," I muttered watching Fawn and Vic standing talking to each other. "She's pissed and scared! It would be like us loosing each other,"

"Nah, they aren't as close," he seemed confident about what he said; I wasn't sure if he was right or not. Fawn and Dawn hadn't been together in a long time, both were off doing their own thing. Jax and I had lived in the same town as each other in the same small group our whole life.

"What are you going to do Jax?" I turned so I could only see him, nothing else at that moment mattered. "Pope is going to kill you,"

"We'll get protection," he tried to assure me.

"This man set a girl on fire Jax!" I said through grit teeth, "He's not playing around,"

"Unser was attacked last night, home invasion," he changed the subject afraid to admit I was right.

* * *

It was a long day but somehow it kept getting longer, we had experienced a lot of lows and highs in the last 24 hours and now watching the guys be cuffed and dragged off to jail didn't seem like it could be real.

Right before they had put the cuffs on Jax he had given me a huge and it had felt so final like it was his way of saying goodbye. Part of me knew that is why he had married Tara only hours ago, he didn't know if he'd ever be back.

"What is he doing?" Vic grabbed my arm as Opie pulled up and started towards Roosevelt.

"No," I grabbed him as we walked by, his fist held up like he was going to hit the Sheriff, "Opie," I warned him holding onto him so he couldn't make his move.

"I need to go too," he tried to struggle against my hold on him but Roosevelt had already turned away from him watching as they loaded up Jax, Chibs and Tig.

"We need to be somewhere else," I whispered standing beside my brother as he watched the back of the truck shut, not knowing if we were ever going to see those faces again.

"Where?" He finally looked down at me.

"Romeo,"

It had taken us about an hour to track down the two faced Cartel member, then it took even longer to get him to agree to meet with us.

"I've done all I can do," Romeo didn't give us time to speak as he came into the warehouse with Luis close behind him.

"We know, keep the protection on him, and keep anyone from visiting him!" I moved in front of Opie, "Set up a meeting with Pope," I heard Opie hiss behind me, he hadn't known what exactly we were doing meeting up with Romeo.

"What?" the sides of him mouth rose as he thought about what I said, "What makes you think I can do that?"

"Oh come on, you're CIA!" I put my hands on my hips, feeling the ache in my armpits from my crutches. "You can find anyone,"

"And why would we help you?" he asked right back not missing a beat.

"Because, we know something about you,"

"Bowie," Opie warned behind me.

"If you don't set up a meeting with us and Pope then I swear to god! I will tell every back alley MC and gang just exactly who signs your paycheck," I stared him right in the deep brown eyes.

"Threats will get you no where!" Luis said from behind Romeo.

"It isn't one," I kept my eyes on Romeo.

"We'll kill you," the smile on his face fell.

"Without my family I'm dead anyways," Opie came up to stand beside me this time. We could threaten a few CIA members for them. "Besides, you made it pretty clear that day there is one person you don't want to piss off," I remembered them talking about getting good will with Happy. "You thought he was pissed that I was missing, I'll make sure my blood trail leads right back to you,"

"And if we do set up this meeting you think you are going to threaten Pope as well?" Luis asked again, he really had a thing against threats.

"I haven't made any threats," I held up my hands, "Only promises,"

"The protection I can do! I don't know if I can get a meeting set up," I just had made two enemies that I really didn't need.

"I have faith, tell him an hour,"

"You're going to have him find you?" Romeo questioned, "You think he will come to you?"

"Tell him to follow the smell of burning flesh," Both Opie and I moved past them and out to his truck in silence.

"Are you serious?" Opie slammed on the steering wheel the moment we started down the street, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Who else knows how to get a hold of Pope?"

"Pope wants us dead! And you are leading him right to us,"

"Then at least we tried!" I yelled right back at him, "Can you live with yourself if we do nothing and they die?"

"This isn't your fault," Opie narrowed his eyes on the road, "Tig killing that girl isn't on you,"

"It is on us all, we lied about Clay,"

"Clay needs to be alive," the words hurt him more than they hurt me. "It is the only way it will work," he was arguing but he was also driving right to where Dawn had been burned; he knew better than to set up a potential meeting with someone like Pope and not show up.

"We lied and a girl died,"

"What are you going to threaten Pope with?"

"I've got nothing," I shrugged, this was really the end of my plan.

"You know you've got a lot of balls, Bowie McKenney," he came with about 15 members of what I assumed was his security team, who checked us for weapons while he spoke through a smirk. "I assume you want to talk about members of your club who are now behind bars?"

"I'm not in the club," I assured the man, his smirk made me feel sick to my stomach. We all thought we had power with our SAMCRO connections but this man standing in front of me emphasizes power, sweats power.

"So tell me, what did you want to talk about,"

"I'm sorry about your daughter, I didn't know her," I began pulling words out of my ass not knowing what I was doing.

"Yes well, you should be sorry for her! I will get revenge for her, I care for my daughter very much,"

"Well I care for my family very much as well, yesterday you burned a girl I grew up with alive,"

"Yes, that was unfortunate, but certain things had to be done be glad I didn't burn them both," my mind shot to Fawn who I knew was now staying at Gemma's. "Don't forget I could get her if I wanted, keeping her in Charming won't save her," he knew a move we had made in the last 24 hours, he probably knew everything.

"You've got your revenge, daughter for daughter,"

"No," finally his smirk fell, "My daughter was so much more than the drug addict I burned last night," then his smirk returned, it was like looking right into the eyes of the thing you feared most, goosebumps raised over my body watching him.

"What do you want?" I shouldn't of been afraid to ask that question but I knew it was a big one.

"I want Trager in jail, for life," he didn't have to think about it, "I want a dead son for the cops, I will be speaking with Jackson Teller tomorrow to let him know,"

"That won't be happening," I felt Opie straighten up from beside me; so far he hadn't said anything.

"Excuse me?" Pope even though he was about my height stood up even taller some how, now it felt like he was towering Opie.

"You can't hurt them!"

"And why not?"

"Because.." I began not sure why, I didn't have any sort of ultimatum for the guy, I only knew a few things about him. "They'll make a deal with you, you are in the coke business right?" I knew he was in the drug business but I didn't know if it would be any help, I definitely knew I wasn't as confident as I had been speaking with Romeo.

"Bowie!" Opie finally spoke.

"Yes, as a matter of fact we are," both of us chose to ignore Ope. "I understand SAMCRO has quite a lucrative business with the Galindo Cartel," I nodded.

"No one dies.."

"And I get half of the in-take from the Cartel," Pope cut me off.

"Deal!"

"BOWIE!" Opie said again as I reached my arm out to him.

"I know how it works, you need a club vote," Pope looked down at my hand.

"I told you, I'm not in the club,"

"If they turn on me,"

"They won't," I kept my hand out.

"But if they do, I'm going to need blood for that," he put his hand out as well wrapping it around mine, "I like you Bowie, most wouldn't have the balls to come out here," he used his other hand to wave at around and guy I hadn't noticed come out all with guns in their hand, they had been ready to take us out the whole time. "I'm glad I decided not to take you instead of Dawn Trager,"

"And the dead cop?" I gulped, I hadn't thought about the fact that it could of very easily been Vic or I to burn instead of Dawn.

"I'll let you have that, but one day I might need your help Bowie," I nodded my head and Opie and I turned to leave. "What did you say?" Pope yelled in our direction.

"To what?" I asked and he didn't answer just turned around as well heading towards his shiny black car.

* * *

"You did what?" Bobby asked as Opie and I filled him in on what happened.

"It worked didn't it?" I asked, somehow I had ended up sitting in Jax's seat at the redwood.

"God Bowie!" Bobby pushed back his bushy hair, "What were you thinking?"

"That I can't live without my brother!" I raised my voice a bit, "That we couldn't trust Galindo, they are playing two sides of the same table!"

"So you went to Pope?" He plopped down in his chair, "Made a deal with him?"

"Yeah! To keep them alive!"

"It won't be that easy Bowie! The club won't take this well,"

"What loosing money? Is Jax, Chibs, and Tig not worth some fucking money?!" I stood up, "No one else was doing anything!"

I left both men standing in the chapel and headed out to my car wishing I was as confident in the deal I had made with Pope as I sounded when I spoke.

* * *

AN: Let me know what you think! Thank you to everyone who reviewed I love them!

What should happen next?

-Bailey


	35. Chapter 35

"You crashed at Tara's again last night?" Vic came into the office the morning after I had met with Pope, "Went by the house this morning only no one was there,"

"Yeah, didn't want to go home," I didn't want to face Happy after his comment about Harper and what I had done yesterday. It felt like a ton of bricks was going to land on me at any moment and I had no clue which direction it was coming from, I knew I had fucked up but I wasn't going to apologize not if everyone made it home safe.

"What happened with you two?" she had no clue about the deal I had made with Pope, not unless Opie had spilt the beans, "Hap stayed at the club house last night,"

"Just same old usual shit," I sighed, "We both say things we shouldn't far too often,"

"I always thought it was foreplay," she tried to lighten the mood, "You two have been doing it since you got together, somewhere along the way you two lost the sarcastic playfulness of your words and started playing for blood," I had known Vic for almost 30 years and it still shocked me when things like that came out of her mouth, she had always been known as the girl that took nothing seriously, the free spirit, the daughter that had become the whore. But there was another part of Vic, a part that said and felt things so seriously that you had to listen. "You two need to get back to who you really are, for my nephew," she looked down at my flat stomach, hers had barely started rounding at her new pregnancy.

"You think it's a boy?" I asked chuckling at her.

"I was right about Violet, and Harper if I remember correctly," she had been, she had known I was pregnant before Happy and from day one she had been calling Harper a girl; she had said the only person that could bring Hap to his knees would be the women in his life. Well we had both fallen to our knees over Harper but not in the way anyone meant. "Someday her name won't hurt so much," she reached out and grabbed my hand that was sitting flat on the desk.

"It will always, it is like a knife is constantly in my heart but the slight mention of her twists it up,"

"You aren't betraying her by having a second baby, or loving Happy after he left Bowie," she squeezed our hands together, "All children want for their parents is to be happy,"

"What if it doesn't make us happy?"

"You'll never know if you don't tell him, if you let him slip out of your grasp again, if you love something you need to hold onto it," she looked at our hands, "and never let go,"

The bell over the door rang as we stood their holding our hands together and moments later Rat and Phil came in filling the left over space of the small office.

"You need to come with us," Rat tried to look tough as he spoke; reaching out for me.

"I'm working," Vic and I pulled our hands apart.

"Doesn't matter, you need to come," Rat just shrugged his shoulders, at the moment I wanted nothing more than to rip that prospect patch off his chest.

"Now," Phil added.

"What happened?" Vic asked nervous that something had happened to the club. I knew it was probably the deal I made already blowing up in my face. No one answered Vic and I grabbed my bag and started following both guys.

"I'll call you when I know," I said over my shoulder to her. They drove us right to the club house in the black van that never meant anything good had happened around the club, they only needed vans for bodies. A chill ran down my spine this whole time I was worried about Romeo or Pope never what SAMCRO would do to me, never what Jax would have done to me. The moment I felt the air conditioner of the club house on my skin Jax was standing in the doorway of the chapel.

"Bowie," he directed me over towards him, "Now,"

"Look before you..." I tried to defend myself following him expecting him to be in the chapel alone but I stopped mid sentence as all the guys eyes landed on me. Suddenly the cool air was nothing, sweat was beading on the back of my neck at the base of my ponytail at the stares, mostly from the black set of eyes I knew the most.

"Sit," Jax ordered taking his chair, an empty chair was between Bobby and Juice.

"I'll stand," I moved away from the door and stood at the end of the table unfortunately beside Clay as everyone moved so they could still see me. As nervous as I was I was relieved to see all three sitting there. I hadn't expected Tig at all, Pope had said he was going to keep him in jail forever.

"What were you thinking?!" Jax finally snapped after he allowed me to stand there in silence for just long enough for it to be dramatic.

"That my brother was going to be killed in jail!" I said back with as much anger as he threw at me.

"So you took it upon yourself to make a deal, on behalf of the club with Damien Pope?!" he locked his fingers together like it was taking all his strength not to slap me across the face.

"It wasn't a club deal, I'm not in the club," I looked down at my light blue converses that seemed so out of place in the dark room.

"How did you get to Pope anyways Love?" Chibs asked in a calmer voice, he had noticed my vision shift away from Jax.

"Galindo," I began.

"And he just set up a meeting with Pope?" he asked back.

"I asked nicely," I shrugged; I knew I couldn't tell them about threatening them about being CIA.

"As I understand it," Jax drew my attention back to him, "It was more of a threat, something about his kids," Jax spoke like he was trying to convince me as well.

"I told him we knew where his kids lived," another lie that burned coming out of my mouth. Suddenly my voice didn't sound like my own, it sounded just like Gemma.

"Jesus," Bobby added, he needed to be apart of the lie he was in on the CIA connections.

"And then you gave up half of our money to Pope," Jax filled in the rest of the story for the guys at the table.

"It is just money," I looked right in my brothers eyes, it was money or it was his life. "He wanted a dead son!"

"I had it under control Bowie!" Jax snapped again.

"Well from where I was standing you didn't! You really thought the fucking Cartel was going to keep you safe? They probably already had a plan B on who was going to run the coke if their pretty little biker boys got shanked in prison!"

"But that isn't the most important part, that was nothing to Pope," Jax shook his head, "No, his second deal was what mattered to him, he didn't care about the money he cared about a girl that was brave enough to stand up to him, because that is dangerous! That can't be trusted!"

"What second deal?"

"When he said he might need your help one day he wasn't talking about a pow wow or a side bar," It hadn't even been a question when Pope asked me that, how could I agree to it, "Pope took great pride in letting me know that if we fuck up, if we don't do exactly what he wants,then it is your head next on the guillotine,"

"I didn't.." once again I was cut off.

"A Brother for a Sister, and the worst part about it is that you are the one who put your head there," no one had a chance to say anything after that as a loud crash went off and in the blink of an eye Happy had flipped over the heavy redwood table, the sign of their group of their brotherhood, it was older than us and now it was upside down on the tiled floor.

"Hap," Tig reached out and got him as he began marching toward me, anger flowed through him like I had never seen, not before or after he killed an enemy, not when things were upside down for the club, not even when he learned his mother was going to die, it was anger that had never existed in either of our lives. He kept coming and Chibs had to get to the other side of him as Opie's large form blocked my vision of him. He still hadn't said anything, no threats to me or questions on why I had done it.

"Bowie just get out!" Clay ordered me and if it was in any sort of different situation I would of directed my anger towards him but in that moment I was terrified, it was the first time the Tacoma Killer had his eyes set on me.

I got out of the chapel before the tears started falling, and I was almost back to the safety of outside when Gemma yelled my name, she must of heard the fighting in the chapel and headed to find out what was going on. The anger I felt towards her just caused the tears to fall faster as I made it out into the sunlight. I slipped my sunglasses on over my eyes hoping it would cover the tears and started walking down the road, my car was still at the shop. The heat did nothing to effect me, especially not the cold spot in my chest that everyone swore was where your heart was, that did nothing but chill me to the bone. I knew yesterday I had crossed the line but I never thought it would be this one, a lot of shit had gone down between Hap and I, most of the time I had thought he was going to hit me and it met the wall beside me but this time I knew with certainty that he would of done it, probably would of knocked my head right off my shoulders. I heard the rumble of a motorcycle behind me and I prepared myself, maybe Happy had gotten out of their grasp and was coming to finish the job, would he have to shoot me in the back or would he have the balls to stand right in front of me when he did it?

"Hey!" The bike stopped and I knew the voice right away. I turned towards the face I hadn't seen in a few weeks and started sobbing, he would be out here, right when I needed him. I dropped to my knees letting out the fear now that I knew it wasn't Happy and soon after I felt Kozik wrap his arms around me and I rocked crying; truth was I had never been more afraid in my whole life. But I wasn't sure if it was the fear of death or the fear of truly loosing Happy for good this time; fucking with him business, his club that was unforgivable.

"It is okay," Kozik assured me, even though it wouldn't be, I tried to speak but the tears were too strong and it felt like I couldn't breath. "Shh Bow," he squeezed me even tighter, "Come to TM with me,"

"NO!" I cried even harder until the world was washed out in a wave of water and my stomach curled, bringing up my breakfast from that morning, still Kozik kept a hold of me. "Anywhere but there," I didn't apologize for the throw up, just wiped the back of my hand across my mouth.

"Okay, anywhere but there," he agreed pulling me so I stood up and leading me towards his bike.

* * *

NO ONES POV

"GOD DAMNIT!" Happy yelled as soon as the door slammed behind Bowie. Many times before things had gotten heated in the small room they called a Chapel but never like this, the redwood had been upright since the First 9 but now from its place on the floor it didn't look like any part of history or legacy it just looked like a pile of wood on the floor. Two Brothers were shocked at the actions of their Sister's old man, more at the fact that they hadn't stopped it, that they might of done the same thing if he hadn't of gotten there first.

"Happy," Jax snapped at the enforcer of his club, one of the only people he feared, "Calm down,"

"How?" Happy pointed a finger at the door that Bowie had just left out of. "She could of gotten herself killed, all of us blown off the map,"

"You know what this means," Clay's evil voice spoke, drawing everyone's attention over to where he was sitting holding his oxygen tank like he was at a tea party not bringing up the subject he was.

"No," Opie violently spit the words at Clay, the man he dreamt about killing night after night, all he saw was the bodies of his former wife and Father every time his eyes met their murderer's.

"It's the rules," Frankie Diamonds backed Clay from his seat on the couch, "She compromised the club,"

"Never," Jax wasn't speaking directly to the two men the spoke, he was warning everyone in the room.

"He's right Jax," Bobby spoke and no one could quite believe what they heard, especially the man that loved her most.

"You let her go!" He accused Opie, the only person that had been with her when she was wheeling and dealing with the Cartel and the biggest gangster they had ever came across. Before another fight could break out between Happy and Opie Jax cut them off.

"Fine, it needs to be unanimous," Jax wasn't afraid of the votes outcome, he knew the hearts of the men he was surrounded by, he was afraid of the words leaving his mouth; like it might damage him for the future, like he would be struck down for even questioning such things.

"All those in favor of Bowie McKenney meeting Mr. Mayhem," the words tasted like vomit as they left the big brothers mouth.

* * *

BOWIE'S POV

"You ready to talk?" Kozik and I had been sitting in the park for about twenty minutes not saying a word, I was texting Vic assuring her that I was fine, I didn't add the part that it might be just for that moment. "Vic?" he asked looking down at the phone as well. I nodded at him, apparently Opie had called her to ask if she had heard from me and set her off in a spiral of questions. "Bowie.."

I only meant to say one word but one turned into two and before I knew it I hold told Kozik everything, or at least the truth Jax wanted me to tell. "Happy would never hurt you," was the only thing Kozik had to say nothing about being in club business or betraying the club.

"You didn't see him Koz,"

"Hap isn't a complicated guy Bowie, he has like four emotions and one of them is not fear, so when he's afraid or upset it all turns to anger. He was mad because he was scared, the only thing he fears is loosing you, so when anyone puts you in danger he gets that way, this time you just happened to do it to yourself, he had no one else to get mad at,"

"I think anger is all of those four emotions," I rested my head on his shoulder, we were sitting side by side watching a family on the swings.

"Nah, that's bullshit, Hap loves strong,"

"And hates stronger,"

"He's loyal to a fault," he kept on ignoring my comment, "all the fucked up shit we put on him, he doesn't do it because he's crazy,"

"I know, he does it so no one else has to,"

"He's like an onion you know, he's got tons of layers.."

"Did you just reference Shrek?" I looked up at him.

"You didn't let me finish..." he smirked, "But every one of those layers were built on love, Happy does what he does because he loves us all. The amount of love he had for you he can barely put into words when he sees you it is like his whole body had been lassoed and he couldn't move even if he wanted to, it cripples him."

"He moved today," I assured him, "It took Chibs and Tig to hold him back,"

"He would of never hit you," Kozik didn't have any doubt in his voice, "You could walk up to him with a knife and shove it right into his chest and he would just stand there watching you, still after all these years he doesn't understand it; his love for you will always be a mystery to him."

"I wouldn't of stopped him either, if he would of hit me I would of taken it,"

"Don't worry about this Pope shit, we won't fuck up, and Jax and him would of came to the same deal,"

"They are pissed,"

"Better to be pissed off than pissed on," he laughed, he was full of metaphors today.

"Well I'm the one that got pissed on,"

"I got puked on," he reminded me and the little girl in the distance laugh met both of our ears stopping our conversation as we watched her being pushed higher on the swing by her Father.

"I'm pregnant again," I blurted out, the laughter of the little girl allowed the brick wall that had been built around my heart a few minutes ago crumble. "And I'm so inlove with Happy that it hurts,"

"Welcome to adulthood Bow," Kozik smiled pressing a kiss to my temple. "Knocked up and in love it is like a Sarah Dessen book," I didn't ask how he knew who she was.

"Yeah well if my baby daddy kills me it will be more of a Stephen King thriller." I couldn't help but laugh along with him, "It would have been much simpler if I had fallen inlove with you Koz,"

"I'd be dead, Hap would have my head on his mantle, why would you wish that on your best friend?" he poked his finger into my side and started tickling me.

* * *

I wasn't sure if I was dumb or not, trusting what Kozik had said about Happy. He had dropped me off at the house and the moments of silence were deafening. I was surrounded in my own little Happy scented bubble, everything in the house reminded me of the fact that he wasn't there, of how much I had fucked up everything. I tried to escape from the reminders and ended up in the one room I avoided like the plague. The lavender walls made me feel it all over again the pain of not bringing my baby home to the room we had prepared for her, even if it was empty now; memories of Happy and I painting it, and both of us being covered in the paint almost made me smile. He was just been happy that I hadn't picked out pink when we went to get the paint and he had gladly helped me just to insure that the color never made its way into the nursery.

"Bowie," I jumped, I was in such a thought bubble that I hadn't even heard him pull up or come into the front door. I followed his voice into the living room but I stayed in the opening of the hall, keeping a room between us.

"I'm sorry," I looked down at those damn converses again, I should have the guts to keep my head looking at him but at the moment I wasn't afraid of what was going to happen, I was afraid of the look I was going to see in the black eyes I loved so much.

"You broke the only thing I ever asked you all those years ago," his voice was laced with venom, but not anger. I wasn't sure what was more chilling, pissed off Happy or calm Happy. "Never make me choose between you and them! Never come between what I need to do for you and what I need to do for SAMCRO, that was all I asked; I never needed anything else,"

"I'm sorry," I still didn't look. I hadn't thought about him when I made the deal all I could see was me and how loosing Jax or anyone else was going to effect me. "I was scared,"

"I was scared! I had to watch a Mayhem vote for you," Finally my eyes met his as they glossed over.

"Are you here to kill me?" That was the punishment they would deem acceptable for anyone else, they would send Happy over, he would take care of the person in question and dig a hole for them out where all the other bodies were later he would add another smiley face to his torso. I tried to stand tall as he watched me, finally taking a step towards me; it took everything in me not to back up with every step.

"You didn't want any secrets, yet you are full of them," he pulled his gun out of the holster under his cut pointing it at me, I had no words, he was telling the truth as I shut my eyes. "I love you, more than life itself, more than anything else I've ever experienced," the tears falling out of my eyes left a warm trail as the trickled down my cheeks.

"Do it Happy, it's okay," I remembered what Kozik and I had said earlier, if he came for me I would stand there and take it. I still didn't open my eyes not until I felt his calloused hand on my cheek as he lifted my head up to meet his, and he held out one of my hands, dropping a handful of bullets in them.

"I will never be the one to do that," he looked at the bullets in my hand as well, "No matter who or what ordered me to do it," I had never heard him say a word against the club, I knew he was a solider of SAMCRO until the end. "But if you make me choose between you and the club again, or if I ever hear those words leave Jax's mouth again you may as well use these on me," I dropped the bullets as the sound of metal hitting the wooden floor hit both our ears and I wrapped my arms around him feeling more tears fall.

"The vote," I said against his neck.

"You've got a lot of people who have your back," his voice was still laced in venom as he spoke, just because he wasn't here to kill me didn't mean he was here to forgive me. " The vote ended with the first person asked," Chibs, he had said no and killed the whole vote.

"I've got some stuff to tell you," I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch and the words flew out like they had with Kozik earlier, only this time it was the complete truth. Clay killing Piney, Opie shooting Clay,The CIA, Galindo being the ones who had me, threatening them to get to Pope, everything that was my truth to tell.

"Jesus," Happy didn't have may looks but disbelief was one I had never experienced before.

"You can't let Galindo know, they threatened us, starting with Vic," his fist were tightening on his lap, "Promise? It isn't the time," the bone in his forehead got going again as he ground his teeth so loud I could hear it. "Clay can't know you know either,"

"Shit Bowie," he hadn't said much other than that as I had been confessing everything to him.

"Anything else?" he questioned after we sat in silence for a moment and I remembered one more truth as Happy stood up heading towards our bedroom down the hall and the lavender walls caught my eye.

"Yeah," he turned back towards me, "I'm pregnant...again," Black eyes ran up and down my body as my mind began ticking like it was the final round on a game show. He ran his hands over the snake that was tattooed on his head and he let out a breath.

"We had a Mayhem vote on my girl and my kid,"

"It's the rules Happy, you can't blame them," it wasn't the response I was hoping for but at least he didn't leave. "I know the rules just as well as you do,"

"Come here," his face shifted and a smile crossed it, making the dimples on both sides of his mouth show even through the stubble. I felt mine mirror his as I made my way over to him and he wrapped his arms around me before lifting me up to wrap my legs around him, mostly making it awkward with the large cast that still was encasing my leg. "I love you Bowie McKenney,"

"And I love you Happy Lowman," before I knew it I was dropped on the bed and my shorts were being pulled down over my cast again.

* * *

AN: Let me know what you think! What should happen next?!

Thank you to all the reviewers ya'll are my favorite!

I don't own anything SOA

\- Bailey


	36. Chapter 36

I never thought a month was very long, 31 days wasn't anything in a span of a year! People that only had to serve a month in jail were lucky, or only had a month to accomplish something that was nothing. But I had proven everything I thought about that time span wrong over the last month. It had been a month since I said more than 'Hi' or 'Bye' to any of the club, to my two Brothers; hell I had barely said more than that to Happy! Just because we had ended the night of the fight naked didn't mean the next morning we were going to wake up and everything was going to be good again, he was still pissed, along with the rest of them. I had gone longer without speaking to them, usually when they were inside or went on some trip, but seeing them ride by on the road, or being at TM and not speaking to them, that was killing me. I had lived what seemed like a whole year in the last month without them, I had felt every second and minute pass and it was only getting worse as it went on.

That was why when I pulled up to the shop one Monday afternoon to do some paperwork I was surprised to see the black van I knew belonged to the club parked in front of my storefront.

"Bowie!" I just about passed out as I heard his voice saying my name. Jax was standing across the street in the doorway of Biacone Insurance. He directed me over and I went happily went across the way, even if I was walking into my own death I would get this silence over. Jax smiled at me when I got in front of him but didn't say anything just moved out of the way letting me in the door. Most of the guys were inside, along with the large insurance agent who seemed to be asleep.

"What are you guys doing?" I found my voice, the first time I had said more than 'boo' to them.

"I didn't think you should miss out on the fun," Jax informed me wrapping an arm around my shoulder and placing a kiss on my temple.

"Are you done playing princess locked up in a tower?" Chibs asked come over to the other side of me while the rest of the guys watched me, a black set of eye still burned into my skin like they were two laser beams. I gave Chibs a confused look and he opened his mouth again, "You've been avoiding us Love,"

"You've been ignoring me," I said back to him looking around the room, instantly feeling back to normal the Bowie from the last month was slowly dissolving in the group before me, these were my guys, the ones that would never vote Mayhem on me, that would die to save me no matter how hard I made it.

"No, we haven't get out of your own way girl," Bobby was standing in the opening of the hallway.

"Yeah!" Tig added, "It has been so boring without you!" he smiled fluffing up his curly mass of hair in the mirror on the wall.

"What happened to him?" I drew my attention towards the man asleep behind the desk.

"Lets just say don't eat any of Chuckie's fudge," Opie laughed, I scrunched up my face at the thought of eating anything Chuckie cooked.

"Noted,"

"Okay boys, get him ready!" Jax ordered laughing, finally Happy stopped staring at me and began helping move the man over to the middle of the room, as Tig removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt.

"um.." I began not sure what they were doing.

"We need a little...insurance that he does what we want," Jax knew what I was beginning to ask as they removed his shirt and Jax flicked a piece of leather towards the men. Unfortunately those were supposed to be his new underwear

"Oh Christ," I got more offended by every move the guys made. Finally after I had to divert my eyes they laid the guy across a bench in his new thong and Juice put a ball gag in his mouth and furry nipple clamps on. "Do I want to know what happens next?" I questioned but I didn't leave, I sat in the desk chair that they had removed Biacone from, I wasn't surprised that it was warm and I pulled both my good leg and my cast covered leg up under my knees. Before any of them could answer Chuckie opened the door informing them that they had a visitor and Jax let them in, all of the guys quickly looked at each other not sure what to make of who Jax had let in. "Holy Boobs," I muttered and caught the attention of who we were all watching.

"Well aren't you gorgeous!" a clawed hand reached out to me, "Venus Van Dam,at your pleasure," I took her hand in mine and smiled at her, the confidence radiating off her exploded through the whole room and I instantly liked her.

"Bowie,"

"Aren't you just the sweetest, you're enough to make a girl feel nervous," I had no clue what she was talking about, I had to fight the urge to text Vic and tell her I had just made us a new friend. Venus and Jax began talking and my view was blocked by Tig's ass, I put out a leg and kicked him with my cast leg making him move out of my way, but the kick barely woke him up from his tunnel vision to Venus. She was exactly Tig's type of jam, something to add to his collection of strange things. I wasn't the only one noticing Tig watch her as he picked up her duffle bag and lead her down the hall.

"It's not going to happen tiger," Venus muttered before following, and the boys instantly began chucking.

"You got your camera ready?" Bobby asked Juice and I finally put together what was going to happen. Tig came back down the hall followed by Venus in a leather cat suit that just about had a completely open chest.

"Damn I want to get a boob job now," I spit out looking down at what I used to think was a larger chest and Happy snorted from beside me.

"Oh no honey, you're perfect! Don't change what god gave you" I became even more confused as I tried to put together her words. "So what exactly am I going to do to Shamu?" she ran a finger down his chest.

"Ahh, just ride him a bit!" Jax almost choked on the words not believing they were coming out of his mouth. Being around the club you never knew what you would see but I could bet money that I would of never expected to see this. While Juice took the pictures the rest of the guys stood around watching not exactly sure how they should feel and Tig watched with enough interest for everyone of them.

"Shit," All of our attention was drawn to the door as what seemed to be a teenager came in.

"Awe shit you're blackmailing him!" he laughed clearly he was stoned out of his mind, "You guys are in the MC you're so cool," he pulled out his phone and began taking pictures of Biacone before Happy stood up and grabbed the phone out of his hand. "Hey!" the boy drew his attention to Happy, "I just want to use this shit against him too!" he reached for the phone again but Happy held it out of his reach.

"How old are you sugar?" Venus asked the boy coming over and resting her hand on his chest.

"21," he giggled like he was 12, jesus he was only 5 years younger than me, suddenly I became nervous on if I looked that way when I spoke or not. After the boy received a proposition from Venus he started towards the back of the office while Venus swore to meet him down there.

"Now why don't I go get pictures of that disillusion boy," she pulled her phone out of chest of her cat suit.

"That would be great," Jax sighed he obviously hadn't thought of a plan to deal with the boy yet.

"That will cost...against my bottom line,"

"2?" Jax asked and Venus giggled in response as Jax handed her money out of his pocket and she followed the boys down the hall.

"You know, you boys take me to the nicest places," I spoke into the quite room after she left.

"We just wanted you to see that we still trust you...that you are still one of us," Jax came down in front of me holding out a hand to pull me up.

"Enough of this silent treatment shit," Chibs spoke from the corner as Jax moved in closer.

"You're my only rope to the shore," he whispered in my ear, a saying JT had taught us when we were both young.

"And you're my only anchor to the sea," It only made sense to us, but back then JT had always said I would be he only to keep Jax grounded and he would be the one to pull me closer to the club. I was the calm shore, safety. He was the ocean, wild and unchangeable. JT had always treated us, raised us, like we were two parts of one whole person.

* * *

My nerves were once again running wild, which I was beginning to think was a new trend for me, especially when the black eyes beside me were present. He looked awkward in the overly pink room and you could tell he felt the exact same way; neither of us did well out of our comfort zone. We had been in this position before but it wasn't exactly great memories that we liked to look back on.

"Bowie McKenney?" A smiling redhead in more pink than the room came through the door almost hitting Happy with it because of his refusal to sit. "I'm Dr. Magenta," of course she was..I shook her hand before she turned to Hap, "And you must be Daddy?" I had to hold in a snort at the look he gave her but he gave her a deep 'Yes' as an answer. She took at seat on the small stool and opened her laptop before she began asking us a million questions, normal ones but it still seemed strange, we weren't really a family of question askers or answers.

"Well lets see what is going on in there," she definitely didn't have a shortage of excitement in her life. Like expected she put the cool gel on my stomach and Hap stayed in the corner keeping his mouth shut and arms crossed, the Dr. looked up at both of our expressions and finally let her smile drop. She remained quiet as she ran the scope over my abdomen that had gotten significantly rounder over the last month. The screen was pointed towards her as she began clicking on the machine with her other hand.

"You're measuring about 12 weeks," her voice was back down to a normal tone as well, and I felt Happy move in closer causing goosebumps to rise all over my exposed stomach. She hit a few more buttons before pictures started printing out of the side and it drew him in even closer as she turned the screen towards us and the sound of a heartbeat drowned out every other sound in the room. The Dr began smiling again watching both of us, and I knew the burning in my eyes were due to the tears forming. Nothing could of prepared me for what happened while I listen to the sound of our babies heartbeat bounced off every wall and burned into my brain; it wasn't pain I felt knowing there was another life thriving inside me where another had failed; as cliché as it was it felt like my heart was growing three sizes too big and I knew there was nothing in the world I wouldn't do to keep him or her safe.

"Hap," I looked up at him through my eyelashes and tears and he quickly took my hand, one that had been battered and bruised only a few shorts months ago.

"You're right where you are supposed to be Bowie," The sickening smile was back on her face but it didn't bother me as much as it had moments before, "With it being your second pregnancy it is normal to begin showing a little sooner, you're muscles have memories of the first time," she smiled down at my little rounded stomach before handing me a towel and Happy the pictures.

"Make an appointment with Becky out front, everything looks great," she stood up moving the machine back towards the wall before closing the door behind her. I wiped off the slime off my stomach while he stared down at the picture in his hand.

"Hap?" I said again this time as more of a question, "You okay?"

"Yeah Bowie," he looked up with a little smirk on his face as I hopped off the table. "I am,"

"We doing this?" there was no other choice now, not after I had heard that.

"Here we go again," he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips.

"Awe look at my nephew," Vic smiled down at the picture later that night at the club house. It was a Friday night and another SAMCRO party was going down even with all the shit going on.

"Let me see," Fawn grabbed the picture out of her hand smiling as well. She was still crashing at Gemma's or she was supposed to be; the last I heard, from Vic the club gossip, was she was spending most of her nights with a unidentified member! Not that Vic didn't waste most of her day and half of her nights trying to figure out exactly which one it was.

"He's watching us," Tara leaned in to the middle of the table speaking in a hushed voice to us. Clay was sitting at the bar along with Diamonds and Greg.

"What is going on with you guys and Clay?" Fawn questioned, "Because of what he did to Gemma?" Clay and Gemma were now living in two different homes and as far as I knew they weren't speaking. "He went to the police station with her when Unser got jumped at the house,"

"And where were you?" Vic quickly changed the subject hoping to get more information.

"Out," she stared Vic right in the eyes, if nothing else Fawn was excellent at keeping a secret she always had been. "Gem has been hanging out with this new dude Nero,"

"From the whore house?"

"Yeah, tall dark and gangster," Fawn laughed, "But he's nice, or he seems to be,"

"Thats a shame, she doesn't deserve that," I stepped on Vic's foot to shut her up.

"You mean he doesn't," Tara clearly didn't catch the hint.

"What are you lovely girls up to?" Bobby pulled a chair over from another table and sat in it backwards in between Fawn and I.

"5'8 last I checked," Vic gave him a smart ass answer causing us all the laugh and forget about the shit we were talking about.

"Come on, we need some extras for poker," He grabbed my hand not waiting for a reply and started pulling me towards the open Chapel doors.

"I'm going to head home," Tara informed us before everyone else started following Bobby and I.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Tig reached out to put an arm over Fawn's shoulder but she quickly dodged it, she still wasn't talking to him, Dawn's blood was too fresh, loosing the person you shared a womb with were wounds that wouldn't heal in a month.

"I'm drunk!" Fawn laughed resting her head on the table after a few hours of poker, nearly spilling her beer and my chips.

"That much is clear!" Vic laughed as well drinking out of the water glass we were sharing.

"That was Unser," Jax came in holding the phone up, it was just a small group of us left the rest had left for the night or gone off to a room with whatever crow eater they had rubbed up on for the night. "Roosevelt's wife took one in an invasion,"

* * *

"Who is doing this?" I questioned Happy after his shower as he got under the blankets beside me.

"Don't know," he was already tired from the days events and then add on top of that having the sheriff pointed down their throat he was at the volatile point, Hap was gone and the Tacoma Killer was laying beside me.

"Pope?" I asked again.

"We don't know Bowie," He turned off the light beside him and we were in complete darkness the only noise was the ceiling fan above us.

"We need to tell Katie," I turned towards him reaching out till my hand was flat on his chest and I slid in closer.

"Yeah," Katie Lowman would be over the moon to know I was 4 months pregnant.

"What are we going to do Hap? We are in so much shit we can barely tread water,"

"Shit will straighten itself out," he signed and my Happy was back. "We've got 5 months to figure it out," his calloused hand rested against my stomach and almost jumped me but soon after his breathing changed and I knew he was asleep.

Probably after an hour of laying beside him in silence I heard my phone beep from the end table beside me; of course it was a text from Vic that only person I knew that would text you at 3 AM.

 **Did you notice who wasn't there tonight? Clay and Nomads**

I shook my head thinking back to earlier in the night, she was right, Clay and Nomads had left shortly after Tara had left.

What were they up to? My mind began spinning as Happy snored beside me.

* * *

AN: Well let me know what you think! What should happen next?

Thank you to all the reviewers!

-Bailey


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